6 Signs Your Dating Buddy Isn't On Your Side

In my single dating years I used to go clubbing with a friend I'll call G.  On Saturdays we used to go into town and would usually end up in one of the spit and sawdust, sticky floored bars which was particularly popular at the time.

Does your 'dating buddy' actually stick around long enough to have a drink with you?!

This bar had the reputation of being the place where even Frankenstein would find a date. The drinks were watered down. The music was dire and the toilets should probably have been taped off by the Health & Safety Executive.

But it was cheap.  So cheap, in fact, that queues used to snake outside from about 11 pm onwards.

G was always keen to go out.  She was likeable and fun, but once inside the club, you wouldn't see her for dust.  Like a heat seeking missile, no DJ, bouncer or male under 40 was safe.

By the time I had checked my coat into the cloakroom, she would be gone.

In those days, there was no 'girl code' as such - no pre-agreed rules about sticking together.  No discussion about what to do if the other became a gooseberry.

But I got the feeling that I was there to make up the numbers and to give her the confidence to walk in the bar.

Having been left once too often to make my own way home at some ungodly hour, I called time on our Saturdays out.

Have you got a 'friend' like that?

If you're dating, you need a dating buddy who is on your side and, for the sake of your personal safety to agree what will happen if one of you meets someone and the other goes home alone.

Surely a good friend will want to make sure that you get home safely.

And wouldn't a true friend want you to have a good time too?

These signs should give you pause for thought if your dating buddy:-

- leaves you as soon as they get in the club
- flirts with someone you've expressed an interest in
- subtly makes fun of you or puts you down in front of others
- gets you to buy most of the drinks (funny how some people can never find their purse)
- leaves you to go home alone
- only phones you to arrange the next night out

When romantic relationships go wrong, it's often our friends who are there to pick up the pieces.

I'd suggest hanging out with people who value you and your friendship.

The acid test?  How does your dating buddy make you feel about yourself?

And what kind of friend are they when you're not hitting town?

People judge others, too, by the company they keep.

If your dating buddy treats you like this, I'd suggest they're not your buddy.

And they certainly won't help you to get a date.

Have you got friends like this?

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Win A Dozen Red Roses For Your Valentine

There is nothing like a dozen red roses to say "I love you" is there?  And I just such a prize to give away from Beards & Daisies - The Letterbox Florist guaranteed to melt the frostiest heart this Valentine's Day.

Beautiful Valentines Day Roses From Beards & Daisies - The Letterbox Florist

Using Beards & Daisies couldn't be easier.  You simply choose your flower box and select a delivery date. Their florist carefully packs your flowers and greetings card and the flowers are delivered straight to the recipient's doormat.

There are currently 6 boxes to choose from, each one named after a bird:- the Hummingbird, the Nightingale, the Wren, the Dove, the Firecrest or the Skylark. Each box has a different combination of flowers and colour themes.

You can choose from a one-off box or a three month gift subscription - which would be an ideal Mothers' Day gift too.  (This year Mothering Sunday falls on Sunday 6 March).

I was sent "The Hummingbird"  and this box is filled with Alstroemeria, Solidago, Wax Flower, Madiba and Hypericum.

The Hummingbird Arrangement 

Each box contains fresh, locally sourced flowers posted straight through your letterbox in a purpose designed, 2ft ventilated flower box. It’s as easy as receiving a letter and the flowers will be waiting on the recipients doormat when they get home!

This is how the flowers arrive.

The flowers are lovingly packed in premium gift wrapping, including an A6 ‘A Little Note to Say’ greeting card with a hand written message, perfect for any occasion.

The flowers are beautifully packaged.

Lovely additional touches to your flower box

As you can see, the box contains a card which explains which flowers you have received and, on the reverse, there are detailed instructions for both caring for, and arranging your flowers - a great help for those of us who tend to use the "plonk them in a vase" technique!

There is also a discount code to save 10% on your next order.

The Hummingbird box costs £25.99 for one box and £59.99 for a 3 month subscription (a saving of approx £18).

This includes free Royal Mail 1st class delivery in a ventilated box which fits through a standard letterbox.

Order by 4:00pm for free next day delivery.  Note that to ensure the freshest flowers, Beards & Daisies deliver Tuesday-Saturday. Flower boxes are delivered to mainland UK only. The recipient doesn't have to wait in, it's as easy as receiving a letter! Protective packaging ensures flowers are delivered in perfect condition. Signature gift wrapping is included with every flower box, together with a free A6 gift card 'A little note to say' with every flower box.

I found the flowers to be in great condition and they have added a lovely and much needed touch of spring to the house.  The quality of the Beards & Daisies box is excellent and would make a great gift.

Now, to my giveaway.

To win a beautiful dozen red roses for your Valentine (or to cheer yourself up!), just enter via the rafflecopter below.  Mainland UK entrants only.  The giveaway ends at 11:59 on Monday 8th February.  Terms and conditions, together with details of other Mother Distracted giveaways are on my Competitions page.

Note:  Beards & Daisies are only able to deliver to mainland UK. The winner will be required to respond with their details within 48 hours in order that their flowers can be received on Valentines Day.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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My Sunday Photo - 17/01/2016

Daddy & Daughter - A Special Bond

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Will You Be Blue This Blue Monday?

Monday 16th January is "Blue Monday" - no not a celebration of the now-classic song by New Order, but the day in the year when the combination of post-Christmas debt, dreadful weather and the lapse in our New Year's resolutions combine to make us reach a peak of misery.

There's a big difference between "black dog" and feeling a bit down.

The first bank holiday is weeks away. The approach of Valentines' Day is ramping up the pressure on singletons to find true love, whilst some married couples have thrown in the towel and are headed for the divorce courts.

The seasonal fun and frolics of Christmas seem a very distant memory indeed.

The concept of "Blue Monday" was apparently coined by a travel company some years ago to push us into booking our summer holidays.  Marketing has a lot to answer for doesn't it!  Even Santa's distinctive red robes were invented by Coca Cola.

Still, there is certainly some truth in the idea that having something like a holiday to look forward to is a great psychological tonic.

But, let's be honest shall we?

There's a huge difference between feeling a bit down and 'under the weather' and truly suffering from depression.

Most of us, if we stop and think about it, can very quickly come up with a list of blessings, things to be grateful for, things that help us to celebrate living.

We can even, usually, come up with a list of solutions to those problems.

Spent too much?  Talk to your bank manager about your overdraft. Consider consolidating your credit.  Cut back on unnecessary expenditure.

Feeling bloated and unfit? You know what to do, don't you?  Take more exercise, eat better. The old hoary chestnuts of advice stand the test of time, don't they?

Some of us suffer badly from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). The lack of sunlight sends us spiraling into a winter depression.

The symptoms often begin in the autumn as the days start getting shorter and are typically most severe during December, January and February.

Symptoms may include a persistent low mood, irritability and feeling lethargic and sleepy during the day.  Sufferers may find themselves sleeping for longer than normal and finding it hard to get up in the morning.  They may also crave carbohydrates and gain weight

But there are things you can do about this, for example light therapy.  You can buy special light boxes which replicate the effect of sunlight on the body.  You can find more information about Seasonal Affective Disorder and light therapy on the SAD website.

The cure may obviously not be as simple or as instant as buying a light box. I am merely saying that, sometimes, if we take matters into our own hands, we feel better.  Having some control over our problems makes us feel more empowered.

Most of us can find a way to lift ourselves out of the 'Blue Monday Slump'.  A little time out for reflection may help.  Why not try mindful meditation?  Calming your inner voice may help you recognise what is making you feel so discontented.  It will certainly reduce your stress and improve your focus.

A long, hot, calming bath may also help perhaps with a herbal bath oil or a natural treatment such as Bach's Rescue Remedy.

An early night will help.  We are all guilty of TV channel surfing when we know we should be going to bed - or, my particular downfall, playing the 'odd' game of Candy Crush.  One hour's sleep before midnight is said to be worth two hours of sleep after midnight.  Lack of sleep has been proven to have very real consequences to our health and mental wellbeing.

Make sure too, that your bed is as comfortable as possible so that you get a good night's sleep.  If your mattress is over 8 years old, the advice is to change it, but this can be done quickly and at a reasonable cost by searching for mattresses online.

It is important to recognise though, that if you feel things are really getting on top of you, or that you just cannot cope no matter what simple adjustments you make to your lifestyle, then you should talk to your GP.

There are also many organisations you can talk to, day or night, who can help you.  You can find a list of some of them here.

So, if this Blue Monday you feel your outlook is less than sunny, take the opportunity to be a little bit kinder to yourself.

And a bit kinder to others.

We never know exactly what others are feeling.  But by offering a few kind words, everyone's day suddenly becomes a whole lot brighter.

And spring will be here before we know it.

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After School Activities For Kids - Have We Gone Too Far?

Back to school, back to reality.... and the merry-go-round of kids' clubs, after school activities, parties and play dates has started to gain momentum.

Caitlin & Ieuan

Currently, Ieuan has Tae Kwon-do on Wednesdays and Caitlin has ballet on Fridays and Saturdays. They both go swimming on Thursdays.

I find that I struggle to arrange play dates with their close friends because we're often fully booked up which seems, to me, to be entirely the wrong way around.

I'm not disputing the value of after school activities.  They are great for teaching our kids physical and social skills, helping them to make new friends and keeping them occupied in the 'arsenic hours' of 4-6 pm.

But leaving aside the cost of these activities, not only in terms of class fees, uniforms and insurance, there's also the time and cost of taxiing to and fro.

I know some kids who are so booked up that they are doing several activities on school nights. Already their parents are wearing that "how long till half term" expression and have their car keys permanently in their hand like a rookie get-away driver.

When does anyone find the time to do homework?  Or simply relax with the family?

I sometimes suspect that after school activities are a brilliant way to postpone the job of parenting which, for all of us, is sometimes stressful and pretty darn challenging.

Equally likely is that after school activities help occupy our kids whilst their parents are at work. Who has the luxury of leaving work at 4 pm?  Very few.

When I was young, I went swimming in our local pool occasionally and I had a ballet lesson (just the one), every Saturday morning.  My mother has never learned to drive so my sister and I had to go when dad could take us - which was weekends only.

Other activities had to be within walking distance such as our local Brownie pack.

Now, too, it seems that kids are pushed to be experts in whatever activity they undertake.

Perhaps I'm just a hopeless under-achiever.  After all,  I used to like playing Left Back in hockey only because my initials were on the bib (I was Linda Brooks in those days) and there was seldom any danger of coming into contact with the ball.  At least, the way I played.

What happened to doing an activity because you like it?

I think sometimes we push our children too much.

I asked Caitlin the other day whether she wanted to change her after school activities and her reply was very telling.

"Really", she said, "all I want to do is spend more time with my family".

How many other children are feeling the same way?

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Planning Tips For Your Next Family Camping Trip

A family camping trip can be the best way for your family to bond and strengthen relationships. But for that to happen, you first have to make sure that the whole thing goes as smoothly as possible. Here are some top family camping trips to help you out.

Make Sure the Tent is Fit for Purpose 

The tent is where you will be spending your time at night, and it’s where you’ll get shelter when the rain starts to fall. For that reason, you need to make sure that it is up to the task before you go on your trip. There’s nothing worse than getting to where you want to camp and finding that your old tent has a hole in the top. You should always put up the tent in the garden to test it before you leave.

Photo Source

Have a Plan to Keep Everyone Entertained 

Keeping the entire family entertained when you go away on a family camping trip is no small task. It’s not something that can be done unless you have a real plan in place. You can only manage to make the trip go smoothly if everyone is entertained; there’s nothing worse than bored children! Think about what you are going to fill your days with. And you can also prepare some small games and activities to keep them busy and distracted. It could save the trip from disaster.

Take Backup Clothes 

You never know what the weather or the environment is going to throw your way when you go on a camping trip. And your trip might be ruined if you run out of clean clothes after the first day! You should always take more clothes than you think you will need. It’s better to be safe than sorry. It’s also important to make sure that you have the right clothes for the climate and the environment. If it’s going to be muddy, make sure you take the right footwear. Having the wrong footwear can be disastrous.

Take An Ice Chest 

You’re going to want to keep your food and drinks cold when you get there. The only way to do this is to take an ice chest with you when you leave. You can find ice packs for coolers on the internet. This allows you to eat good food, and that’s not always easy when you are camping. You could even take some things that you and the kids can roast over the campfire. I’d recommend buying some marshmallows and toasting them over the fire. This is a great idea for anyone who wants to keep their kids entertained in the evening.

Clean Up As You Go 

When you’re spending time in a natural landscape, it’s important to treat the landscape with care and respect. That means cleaning up as you go along. To do this, make sure that you take bin bags that you can take with you when you leave. And cleaning up as you go along is the best way to do the job. That way, the campsite and your tent won’t become too messy and hard to keep under control. It will also mean that you don’t have to do too much cleaning up at the end.

*collaborative post

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Giveaway: £45 Off Your First FoodZube Online Shop At Tesco

There are loads of food sites which offer meal plans.  There are also lots of supermarkets who deliver.

What if there were a site that helps you to combine your meal planning with your shopping in one location and suggests suitable recipes into the bargain?

FoodZube is a very clever site that allows you to plan your meals according to your taste, budget and the time you have available.  (I'm guessing limited if you're a parent).

FoodZube helps you to organise your favourite recipes in one place, create meal plans and do your weekly shopping in one go, either on your PC or your mobile.

If you would like to try the service, FoodZube offers a free one month trial which doesn't require a credit card sign-up.

Once you have filled in your basic personal information, you will be asked about your preferences - the food you like, dietary requirements (e.g. gluten-free), any nutritional limits (for example protein or carb limits), the time you have and the number you are cooking for,

There is also an option to choose low budget recipes and a very handy 'up to 30 minutes' flag for when there's little time to cook.

You then have the option to add your own recipes, together with the date you intend to cook them so that you create a meal planner.

You can also import recipes from other websites to keep them in one handy location.

Or simply click on "Instant Organizer" which gives you a great list of recipes to choose from based on the requirements you have input on the preferences page.

For someone like me whose repertoire tends to revolve around a combination of pizza, spaghetti bolognese and fish fingers, this is a fabulous tool.

I actually find thinking what to have for tea more stressful than having to cook it.

Once you are happy with the recipes suggested, simply click on "Weekly Shopping" and FoodZube will create a shopping list for you.

It's easy to edit the ingredients you would like and you can also add other non food items to complete your weekly shop in one go.

Click "Buy Online" and you'll be asked to confirm which recipe ingredients you would like FoodZube to add to your shopping list.

Then, very cleverly, FoodZube does your shopping by filling your virtual basket for you to sort through, adding and removing items as necessary.

Currently the supermarket used is Tesco but I imagine there will be a wider choice in the near future.

From this point, all you have to do is check out in the usual way and wait for your shopping to be delivered.

You'll find you've saved quite a bit of time on your shop because you don't have to look for all the ingredients - and you might even save some money since I find when I'm searching it's very easy to add one or two extra treats to the virtual trolley!

You can even start your own food blog on FoodZube's site and connect with other FoodZube bloggers.  This is a service I have never seen offered by any other food-based website.

There are over 50 specialised designs from which to choose and dozens of recipe templates to give your blog a professional edge.

The FoodZube team will even set up your blog's Pinterest account and help you launch it!

FoodZube is free for the first month and costs £7.99 per month thereafter, which I think is incredibly good value.

And I have a fabulous giveaway of £45 off your first FoodZube shop at Tesco.com.

Please note that the winner must sign up to FoodZube in order to receive the prize.  This is free and you can cancel after one month.  No credit card details are required to sign up with FoodZube. The prize will be delivered from Tesco.com which will require an online account with them. Again, there is no charge to do this.

There is no cash prize. The winner will be required to send an email with their home address to FoodZube who will sort out their delivery for them.

Entrants must be over 18 and able to receive deliveries from Tesco.com.

Entry is via the Rafflecopter.  Terms and conditions apply.  UK entrants only.  The giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Saturday 30th January 2016.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Further information about FoodZube is available at www.FoodZube.co.uk, on Twitter or Facebook.

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