Tips To Help Introduce Your Baby To The Bottle

Readers of this blog may recall that my own attempts at breastfeeding were not particularly successful and, after 10 weeks with sitting with Caitlin for what seemed like hours, I swopped to formula feed and never looked back.  Caitlin wasn't putting on enough weight and as soon as I made the change she started to really thrive.  

Perhaps the problem was, as an older mum at 43, my milk just wasn't up to the job.  When Ieuan was born just 19 months later, he went straight on to formula. 

At some point, though, most children learn to take a bottle and it can be a bit of a daunting experience - particularly if you need them to learn this new skill in a bit of a rush.

There are many reasons why you want to introduce your baby to a bottle. You might want to start using a bottle so that you can start feeding your little one some expressed breast milk; or, know that you will need to leave your baby when returning to work, and you want to ensure they have some milk while you’re away from them.

Whatever the reason, here are some useful tips from Tommee Tippee whose bottles got both my two through their early years. 

The guide sets out how to go about giving your baby their first bottle, top tips in the early stages of introducing your little one to a bottle, and tactics that you can use when your child resists a bottle:

How to give your baby their first bottle

The common issue for babies being introduced to a bottle is that they will need to use a different sucking action compared to when they were breastfed and, it's likely to take them some time to get used to this new feeling.

To help, give your child their first few bottles when they are relaxed and happy as opposed to instances when they’re hungry and more likely to want to get fed by a method that they are used to. 

It is also a good idea to offer your baby a bottle in the evening once their regular feeding has been complete — you don’t need to give them that much milk in this instance, as it will be more about getting your child used to the feel of a bottle’s nipple.

Another tip is to get someone else to give your baby their first few feeds — the dad or a friend or family member — as that way your baby will not be near you and smelling your breast milk. 

It may also be best if the mother is out of the house while the baby is being bottle fed, as many youngsters can smell their mother even from a distance. You only need to do this a handful of times until your child is used to drinking from a bottle.

Refrain from forcing your baby to feed from a bottle too much, and only feed them enough milk until they let you know that they’ve had enough. This needs to be a smooth transition, so your child will be more likely to rebel if they aren’t enjoying their bottle in the early stages.

What to do if your baby is resisting

If you are struggling to get your baby to make the transition from breast to bottle, there are some techniques that could help.

You should take the time to find a suitable product for your baby. A bottle with a nipple that is similar to your child’s dummy will likely make it more appealing to your little one, for instance. A slow-flow nipple can get around times when your baby gags due to regular bottle nipples delivering them with too much milk at once.

A First Sippee Transition Cup from Tommee Tippee ticks all of these boxes, not to mention the fact that they are specially designed for a baby’s first sips and has a super soft spout that is gentle on your child’s sensitive gums. 

These cups may well be known to you, following a dad’s desperate search last year to find a replacement cup for his autistic son. The plea received over 12,000 retweets and the full story can be read on the BBC website.

It’s not just the design of the bottle or cup that can help your baby with the transition. Your baby may start sucking from the cup or bottle’s nipple if you place some breast milk on it and your child tastes it and enjoys the familiar taste.

Let your infant get used to their new bottle or cup in their own time too. Don’t be quick to take the product away from them if they begin to chew on the nipple — let them do this for now as they may switch to sucking on it once they are familiar with the feeling.

Babies may also feel more comfortable drinking from a bottle or cup when they are held in a different position to how you breastfeed them. Feed them from a bottle or cup when they are in a semi-upright position in a car seat, for example, or by having them on your lap but with their back to your chest.

Hopefully with this advice, your baby will be reaching for his bottle or cup for their feed before you know it.

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Aren't We All Just Looking For A Sign? - The SmartSign.com Blogger Challenge

Procrastinators of the world - and I'm including myself in their number - will do anything to avoid taking action.

In fact, I believe procrastinators are almost wholly responsible for the ever increasing global sales of coffee.

Got something you have to do?  Better put the kettle on and have a darn good think first.

I've lost count of the number of tender documents, presentations, powerpoint slides (the very axis of evil) and marketing projects which have been started and then lapsed into the ether like an X Factor winner.

Now this is understandable and possibly excusable in a work situation but when you're a parent the opportunity cost of all that time you waste is huge - and hugely expensive.

Oh, not in terms of money but in terms of watching your little 'uns grow, develop, learn and explore the world while you faff about with post-it notes and hunt for a pink highlighter to mark up your latest content planner.

It's the summer holidays and even as I sit here typing I am listening to Caitlin and Ieuan playing some (mildly destructive) game downstairs.  There is much laughing and giggling and it is always fascinating to observe the relationship between siblings in which we mothers play no part.

Sometimes, in the absence of parental attention, Caitlin and Ieuan are their own world - mysterious, capricious and never still.

Almost on a daily basis I tell myself I will get myself organised and prioritise family time.  I will take them to one of the places on the ever-growing family bucket list.

I'm stopped by a lack of energy and, if I'm honest, a lack of confidence.  How, at 53 years old, the thought of taking the kids an hour and a half away to somewhere like Clearwell Caves, or Dan yr Ogof (I'm big on caves at the moment), can fill me with dread I'm not sure.

Perhaps it's some peri-menopausal, hormonal backlash or too many carbs. Whatever.

I'm sure many of us wish that something, somewhere would give us the impetus to get our priorities straight, to finally work out how to balance our own needs with the needs of our children.

You can blame your work ethic, modern life, the Tories, Brexit, Donald Trump or your addiction to social media (why did nobody warn you?).

But aren't we all just looking for a sign?

It doesn't really matter what it says.  We all just need an existential prod from above - whether that's our god or guardian angel or even the nagging of our own parents.

The problem is life continues while we keep searching for this sign.  Sometimes life takes matters into its own hands - an accident, a health scare, redundancy.  Like a bolt out of the blue, our ability to choose to prioritise our time is gone in an instant.

So here's my sign.

It's short, to the point and needs to be placed on the bathroom mirror, on the kitchen wall, on the toilet door and plastered large as a screen-saver on all my gadgets.

It can be any colour, any size, any shape but this is all it needs to say.

THIS IS THE SIGN YOU ARE LOOKING FOR.

 “This post is an entry into the #MyCustomSign www.smartsign.com blogger challenge”

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Try Tennis For Free This National Great British Tennis Weekend 22-23 July

Wimbledon may be over but there's no chance of rain stopping play now that Caitlin and Ieuan have found a sport they can actually play together.

Image credit: Pixabay

Ieuan's never been keen on taking up ballet and Caitlin is too worried about the possibility of being hit during Tae Kwon-do but, they have recent discovered tennis and have been playing out in the garden in relative harmony.

Those of us parents facing 6 weeks of full-scale sibling rivalry when school ends this Friday are very appreciative of the prospect of some peace, I can tell you.

And there are some pretty good reasons to encourage our youngsters to take up the sport, not least because we Brits are very proud of our tennis champions and we all know the importance of starting kids young.

Look at that concentration - and yes, that court is a bit, um, overgrown

Here's ten very good reasons to play tennis, courtesy of Tennis Wales who are organising the Welsh version of the National #GoHitIt campaign to encourage as many of us as possible to pick up a racquet and practise our serve.

1. Tennis may help you to live a longer life - scientists and doctors say tennis is one of the healthiest activities that you can participate in.  The overall physical, mental and emotional gains it delivers could add years to your life.

2. It can make you happier - tennis engages the mind and body at the same time. Tennis players are more confident, healthier, less stressed and more socially interactive.

3. You'll make friends.  Tennis encourages interaction and communication.  Especially if you're playing doubles with a partner.

4. The whole family can join in - no matter what your age, ability or fitness level, tennis is great for bringing the family together. Few other sports can offer the opportunities for families that tennis can.

I'm not going to tell her that's backwards as I'll stand more chance of winning.

5. Tennis teaches life lessons - players, particularly youngsters, develop a work ethic, learn sportsmanship, how to manage mistakes, enhance their discipline, learn to compete and learn teamwork.

6. Tennis can be anything you want it to be - competition, social play, a good workout or time with family or friends.

7. Tennis is fun - whether at entry level, for the under 10s or the senior leagues all players have fun while getting a workout at the same time.

8. It develops your mind.  Tennis requires alertness, tactical thinking and problem solving.  Evidence suggests it may generate new connections between nerves, promoting a lifetime of continued development of the brain.

Not totally sure about Ieuan's co-ordination to be honest ...

9. It builds fitness - the constant movement and action in tennis will burn calories, build muscle, increase bone strength, improve flexibility, fine-tune coordination and enhance overall health and fitness.

10.  Tennis is a sport you can play your whole life - you can play throughout your lifetime from the earliest ages to your later years.

And from the point of view of teaching our kids sportsmanship, then tennis is a great way to teach them both competitiveness AND how to deal with defeat graciously (NOT McEnroe style).

If you want to join in with #GoHitIt, you can find your nearest participating court at https://www.lta.org.uk/go-hit-it.

And this weekend (22 - 23 July) is the perfect opportunity to hit your local tennis court (or playing field or garden!) because it's the National Great British Tennis Weekend where selected venues will be offering free tennis for everyone, regardless of age, ability or fitness level.

To find your nearest participating court visit https://clubspark.lta.org.uk/OpenDays.

That's more like it.

Tennis Wales are also hosting Tennis Tuesdays to encourage more female tennis players back into the game.  The sessions as specifically geared towards women who used to play and want to return to the game.  There is also a Nike rewards programme attached to session attendance.

Find your nearest participating court at https://clubspark.lta.org.uk/TennisTuesdays.

If you are looking for a local league to get involved with to hone your competitive streak and make some new friends, then go to https://localtennisleagues.com.

Enjoy your tennis!

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Encouraging Your Kids To Travel Could Be One Of The Best Things You Do For Them

We all want the best for our kids. We want them to get the best education, to have their pick of jobs, and to live incredible lives. But have you considered that you should be encouraging your children not only to do well in school but to travel? 

Encouraging your kids to travel could be one of the best things you ever do for them. It can be scary, picturing them in a foreign country far away, maybe even on their own. However, there are so many ways it could help them to learn and grow as people. When your child is old enough, encouraging them to explore could mean the following things: 

They Experience Different Cultures And Walks Of Life

When you encourage your kids to travel, they will experience different cultures and walks of life. This will change the way they relate to the world and other people as a result. They’ll become more accepting, and see the world with a much wider view. They should often be able to see the bigger picture and develop an appreciation for people and things that are different to what they know.

It Looks Great On A CV

There’s no denying that an extensive experience with travel can look great on a CV. If you encourage your child to travel, make sure you also encourage them to do CV-worthy things too, such as volunteer at homeless shelters and schools. They can still explore and have lots of fun while doing this, and they don’t have to spend the entire time doing it. They may even be able to get some paid work if they’re lucky!

Image credit: Flickr

Develops Important Life Skills, Such As Independence

Travelling will not only enable your children to take on new challenges; it’ll help them to develop important life skills, such as independence. Sure, you can book homestay accommodation for them; just make sure you don’t hold their hand too much. Encourage them to do their own research and be as independent as possible. This will only ever be a good thing for all of their future endeavours.

Push Their Educational Horizons

On top of all of the things above, seeing amazing things for themselves will push their educational horizons. For example, your child may not have an immediate interest in architecture, but all that could change when they see some famous historical structures for themselves, up close. They may develop new interests, passions, and appreciations for all kinds of things.

Will you encourage your kids to travel when they’re old enough? It really could be one of the best things you do for them! Not only that, there’s only usually one time in a person’s life they have the opportunity to do this kind of thing before their own kids and jobs get in the way. 

If you want to start them off early, make sure you take lots of trips with them while they’re young, helping them to develop an open mind and appreciation for different cultures. Have fun with it!

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The Top 5 Health Priorities To Make For Your Kids

We all know how important good levels of health are, but when it comes to your kids, that level of importance gets kicked up a few notches.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/nature-people-girl-grass-129029/

As a parent, we all want the best for our kids. Not only does that mean we do what we can to protect them, comfort them and make sure that they’re happy, but that we want them to be healthy too. However, it’s not always easy to know if you’re doing the right things and making the best decisions for your kids. But if you want to make sure that you’re putting their health first, here are a few priorities to make.

Nutrition

As a parent, we’re programmed to feed out kids when they’re hungry. But, are you more likely to feed them something that they want rather than something that they need? It’s okay if that answer is yes, because we all do it from time to time. However, if you want to make sure that you’re doing the best thing for their health, you’re going to want to make sure you get their nutrition right. This is particularly important when you’re kids are still growing.

Medical Services

Then, you’re also going to want to make sure that you’re kids have the right access to any medical services that they need. Now, the NHS is pretty good for most things, but you may find that you need more. So, you could look into same day access services like the ones that www.samedaydoctor.org provide should you ever need them. That way, you know that you have access to an almost instant medical service for times that you need it.


https://www.pexels.com/photo/bridge-child-children-fashion-191034/

Exercise

Then, you’ve also got their fitness levels to think about. Years ago, kids were always running around - both in school and out of school. But now, things are different. Kids tend to play inside and find themselves attached to a screen more than they do play outside. This means that they are less active than they could be. So, you may want to think about getting them out a bit more, running around with them, or even working on some sports and exercises for them.

Mental Health

This is definitely an area of health that gets overlooked or hushed a lot more than most. But, if you want to raise a healthy child, you need to be able to encourage good mental health in them as www.activebeat.com suggest. As the modern world develops, it’s all too easy to get stressed. But, if you prepare your children early on, they should be better equipped to deal with any mental health issues they’re faced with.

Emotional Wellbeing

And finally, you also have their emotional wellbeing to think about. When your child is unhappy, it can harm their overall health levels. So, you’re going to want to make sure that you’re there for them, and able to nurture them emotionally too. Showing them love and affection and supporting them should be all it takes to make sure that they are emotionally healthy as they grow.

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Review & Giveaway: What Does Baby Want? A Book On Breastfeeding For Kids

This is a really cute and whimsical board book about breastfeeding.  It has been created for the enjoyment and engagement of babies, toddlers and adults by Japan's top design duo, Tupera Tupera.

It's a short but sweet story that features a hungry baby and a breastfeeding mother. The baby won't be soothed by a teddy, ball or even a shiny tambourine and eventually, mum realises that the only thing baby wants is milk.

The design of the book is amusing because when open it resembles two breast-shaped rounds and it provides a handy tool for parents to explain to young ones why their younger sibling might be rather noisy and unwilling to settle down.

The book is aimed at nursing babies and their older siblings, parents and parents to be and, the authors suggest, every child who has a doll to feed.

As World Breastfeeding Week approaches (1-7 August), this little book is a great conversation starter and, let's be honest, the topic certainly has the potential to polarise opinion among nursing mothers and parents in general.

I have written before about my own breast-feeding challenges and whilst "What Does Baby Want" would make a lovely gift, I would hesitate to call it an ideal baby shower gift.  Firstly because I'm not a great fan of the American baby shower tradition which seems to have come over here and secondly because I am always wary of making any mother feel that she has to breast feed.

If you would like to make your own mind up, I also have 2 copies to give away.  Entry is via the rafflecopter and the usual terms and conditions apply which you can find on my competitions page. UK entrants only.  The giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Sunday 30th July.

What Does Baby Want? is published by Phaidon as a shape board book RRP £8.95 22 pages.

Good luck!


a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Why You Shouldn't Be Happy If Your Child Has A Suntan

After the recent heatwave in which the UK experienced the hottest June day since the summer of 1976, NHS England and the Met Office are reminding parents that a suntan is a sign of sun damage.

And a recent survey of 1000 parents with children under 11 suggests that a third of parents still believe going brown is good for children. Presumably, the same people who think slathering themselves in SPF 2 and stripping off as soon as the clouds part is a good idea.

A quarter has even encouraged their children to tan and, worse, a few have even allowed them to use sunbeds.

More than one in five (21%) of the parents questioned said they would only think about applying sunscreen if their child started to go red and burn.

Yes, it seems we still have an awful lot to learn about protecting ourselves against the damage the sun can do to our health, in particular, skin cancer.

A tan won't stop the sun's rays from causing harm and is our skin's way of saying it's damaged and is trying to protect itself.

It doesn't even have to be warm. Since you can't feel UV radiation, you can even get sunburnt on a cloudy day. The Met Office says that UV levels are usually highest between May and September and you can check the UV forecast on the Met Office website or app.

You know all those greyer, chillier summer mornings when you wonder whether you should slather sun cream on the kids before they go to school - well, you should.  

We now know that repeated sun exposure can lead to skin cancer in later life.  Caitlin and Ieuan's grandad has had at least 3 cancerous moles removed, most likely due to the (typically male) insistence that they don't need sun cream.

It was in 1920's that having a tan became a sign of wealth and influence because it meant you could travel to warmer climes. Tanning was allegedly made popular by the French fashion designer Coco Chanel. 

Prior to that, it was a sign of being lower class as you were most likely a labourer or worked on the land in the heat of the sun.  A status symbol having a tan in past times was certainly not.

Funny how perceptions change, isn't it?

So how should we be protecting our kids (and ourselves!) in the sun?

The basic advice is this:-

Infants under 6 months old should be kept OUT of direct strong sunlight.

From March to October in the UK children should cover up and spend time in the shade particularly from 11:00 am to 15:00 pm.

(I still find it gob-smacking that some school trips are organised for the beach at the hottest time of the day).  

Kids should wear at least SPF15 sunscreen - mine get covered in SPF30 minimum. Face, ears, back of the neck, nape of the neck, arms and legs if they're off to school.

Yes, it adds a good extra 10 minutes to the morning routine but it's too important to miss.

Mine also wear sun hats and some of the best hats have a flap at the back of the neck to protect the delicate skin there.

Everyone should drink plenty of water to keep hydrated - that's water not fizzy, sugary drinks.

You've probably heard, conversely, that we need some exposure to the sun to boost our Vitamin D levels but, according to Dr Nigel Acheson from NHS England, the recommendation is "that people spend no longer than 10 to 15 minutes in the UK summer sun, unprotected, several times a week".

When that time is up you should apply sun protection.

A very handy mantra to use is 'slip, slop, slap' - originally from the anti-skin cancer campaign in Australia in the 80's featuring Sid The Seagull and recently updated.

Slip on sun protective clothing that covers as much of your body as possible.

Slop on SPF 30 or higher broad-spectrum, water-resistant sunscreen, at least 20 minutes before sun exposure. Reapply every two hours when outdoors or more often if perspiring or swimming.

Slap on a broad-brimmed hat that shades your face, neck and ears.

Seek shade.

Slide on sunglasses.

Wise advice for all ages.  

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Tips To Help Kids Sleep In Hot Weather

It's been so hot of late that the kids have really been struggling to get to sleep.  Ieuan can't quite believe how hot it is and keeps demanding that I turn the heating off!

Image credit: Pixabay

It's not so bad at the weekend because the kids can sleep in.  I say can but obviously they're still up early and then dissolve into a major grump around lunchtime. But on school nights, I really want to help them to get some sleep so that they can cope with their busy day.

I don't think altering their sleep schedule is a good idea, tempting though it is to let them stay up a bit longer to make the most of the lighter evenings.

Having worked so hard to get our kids into a regular sleep schedule, I would rather try to make their sleeping environment more comfortable.

Here are some tips you might find useful.

- let your kids sleep in the coolest room in the house and make sure that air can circulate around them, for example by removing any padding around a cot

- don't leave babies to sleep in a pram - they can be hot and airless.

- don't use a pillow or mattress that your baby sinks down into and put them to bed in just a nappy.

- keep curtains closed during the day and, if at home, keep the windows ajar.

- cover mattresses and waterproof sheets with thick layers of cotton sheets to absorb perspiration and prevent prickly heat rash.

- take duvets out of duvet covers and let kids sleep under these or just use a plan cotton flat sheet. If you still use a duvet make sure it is a low tog.

- or you could try letting them sleep under a very thin sleeping bag liner or under a damp towel while keeping the mattress protected with a washable mattress protection pad.

- close windows and stick blackout material on them during the hottest hours; you can open them again when it's cooler.

- consider investing in a small portable air conditioner unit

- some mums recommend letting their kids sleep with a wet tea towel on their chest or you could try a cool flannel on their feet if they won't kick it off!

- give kids a cool bath before bed.

- some advise spraying with a plant mister

- place a fan at a low level near a window to circulate the cooler air at night but keep it well away from little fingers.

- swop to light cotton nightwear which is excellent absorbing sweat and may actually keep you cooler than sleeping naked.

-  hang wet towels over chairs or windows to cool the air.

- put your child’s pillowcase or favourite toy in a plastic bag and place it in the fridge for a few hours before bed. When you take it out and put it in their bed, they’ll have a nice cool pillow to help them drift off with, or a cool toy to hug themselves to sleep with.

- you could also try wrapping the ice packs used for picnics in tea towels or filling a hot water bottle from the cold tap and placing it in the fridge.

It 's important to remember that sweating makes you lose both water with the risk of dehydration. This can be compounded if you have excessive and unprotected sun exposure.

Make sure you keep your water levels topped up and are using a suitable sunscreen for both you and the kids.

Have you any 'keep cool' tips to share?

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4 Easy Ways To Make £1500 A Month Extra From Home.

When you're a stay at home mum, especially one who has given up a good job, your mind quickly turns to ways in which you can boost the family's income.  

There are so many get rich quick schemes out there waiting to trap the unwary (and usually getting you to part with cash into the bargain), so here's some sensible advice from Jon who runs The Money Shed, a great website dedicated to earning money from home.

Over to Jon....

Who wouldn’t want an extra £1500 each month? What would you do with that money? An extra holiday or maybe a house repair that needs doing. No matter what getting that money is easier than you might think and I’m going to show you 3 easy ways to earn an extra £1000 from home without any trouble.

Just before we get going I better introduce myself. My name is Jon and I run The Money Shed which is the UK’s largest community website dedicated to earning money from home so I spend my time helping others (ESPECIALLY stay at home parents) earn money from home so they can look after their little ones and not have to return to work. With that in mind here are 4 easy ways to earn an extra £1000 form home

Web Search Evaluator - £500+ a month

Ever wondered how search engines give you the results that they do? There’s actually a human element attached to it all and you can get PAID to help out!. Leapforce are a company who offer you the chance to work as a Web Search Evaluator. The job is paid BY THE HOUR and you just login to work whenever you want so there are no set hours or anything. The role basically involves you helping to critique the results that you get when you search for something when when someone searched for ‘Pictures of Cats’ they don’t get presented with a page full of Dog photos! 

Racing at Arlington Park:  Paul Kehrer

Risk Free Matched Betting - £1000+ a month

Betting in NAME ONLY, Risk Free Matched Betting is a fantastic way to earn a HUGE amount of money for very little work. In a nutshell Matched Betting is where you take advantage of the endless amount of bookie offers along the lines of ‘Bet £10 get £20 free’ using a systematic and mathematical approach which is why it’s RISK FREE and you make money endlessly no matter what the outcome.

I’ve made over £25,000 from it so far over the last 18 months and have had 2 trips to Florida, a new conservatory and a car so far so it’s WELL WORTH doing.

If you fancy giving it a go I’ve written a VERY EASY TO FOLLOW Beginners guide to it here on Slummy Single Mummy.

Evaluating Websites - £60-£100+ a month

Ever used a website and though it could look better. There are companies out there which will pay to hear you opinion on websites. WhatUsersdo and uTest are two such companies which will pay you £15 a time and more to record your experience on some BIG NAME retailer websites. They use some clever software to record your screen and Mic as you narrate using a particular website. What works well? What could be improved? You can let them know! The reviews take around 15 minutes to do and payment is very quick so if you have an eye for detail you have nothing to lose by applying!

Image credit: Jason Howie

Smartphone Apps - £200+ a month

These ‘task’ based smartphone apps have exploded in the last few years and you can earn more money than ever on them now. The main players are Task360, Field Agent, Roamler, BeMyEye and StreetSpotr. All are available to download from the App Store / Play Store on your phone. A basic task usually involves going into a store taking a photo or two of a display, answering a question and then submitting all that via the app. It takes a few minutes to do and best of all your can loop the task together if you can see a load all near you on the app.

I hope this post has helped you out. If you ever fancy earning even more than please pop over to The Money Shed as we’d love to have you on our forum and help get you earning the most you can for the time you have available!

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10 Ways To Teach Your Kids About Finance

There are a variety of important things that parents need to be able to teach their children. One of these things is how to deal with finances and look after their money. After all, the last thing you will want for them when they are adults is to find themselves struggling to manage their debt and seeking debt help and advice. 

Image credit: Ken Teegardin

The trouble is, so many parents simply do not know where to start when it comes to teaching your kids about finance. So, to help, we have put together 10 ways that you can teach your children about finance, for their future.

Show them that money doesn’t grow on trees

A common phrase is that money doesn’t grow on trees. Something that as an adult, we are only too aware of. However, chances are that our children simply don’t understand this concept, that money is not infinite and plucked out of the air. A great way to show that money doesn’t come from nowhere is to show your children how you withdraw money from a cash machine, teaching them that this money has come out of your bank account rather than from nowhere.

How to budget

It is important that your child learns how to budget. They will need to think about how they cannot afford two larger toys and choose which one that they would prefer to buy. Set an example for them by telling them about the different things that you would love to buy and why you can’t go out and buy each and every one.

Not to rush out and spend their money

Children are not particularly patient by their very nature. If they receive money, then chances are that they will want to rush out and buy that toy that they have always had their eye on. Instead, they should try to approach any purchases, particularly those that are larger, with patience. A great way to show them that you take a careful approach to your spending is to show them that you are thinking about a bigger purchase. Shop around with them, ask them to help you to compare the different deals that are out there.

Teach them that saving is cool

Saving can sometimes get a bad rap, especially when compared to spending. It is a good idea to teach your child that it is cool to be a saver. Especially when saving gives you a reward such as the ability to buy something nice for yourself. A simple way to do this is to have a savings jar that you as a family pay into. Show your child how the money builds up over time, and let them know when you are using that money, such as for a holiday or a new TV.

Help them to keep track of their money

Being able to monitor your spending habits is an incredibly useful skill to have in later life, and this is something that you can encourage right from childhood. If your child receives pocket money on a weekly or monthly basis, why not encourage them to make a chart? This could contain the pocket money that they receive each time, as well as what they spend it on. That way, they can keep an eye on where their money is going.

Get them to write a wish list of things that they want to buy

Having something in mind is a great way to achieve a goal. This is particularly true when it comes to saving. If your child is struggling with the concept of putting away their money, then why not ask them to create a wish list of things that they want to buy? You can write down how much these things are going to cost, as well as how many weeks pocket money that is, showing them how long it will take them to save for it. 

Image credit: Pexels

  Teach them about the importance of charity

Charity is important, no matter your generation. However, if a child doesn’t understand why charity is important, or how to donate to them, then this won’t carry on growing. Encourage your child to give a portion of their savings or pocket money to charity, not all the time, just sometimes. That way, they have some awareness of what is going on in the world around them, and how some people are not lucky to have the same money as them.

Always have some boundaries

We all love spoiling our children, there is no two ways about it, after all, we love them. But spoiling them can have a negative impact later on in life. You should try and set some boundaries on spending and what they can get, as this shows them that you are not always able to get what you want, and sometimes you simply have to wait for it.

Open them a bank account

Having a bank account is something that we all need to have later in life, so why not introduce this concept to your child from an early age. Go with them to the bank to open their own account, and encourage them to pay money into on a regular basis. This means, that when the time comes to open an adult bank account, it won’t be quite as much of a novelty for them.

Let them make their own decisions

You may be tempted to take charge when your child wants to spend out on a particular item. However, it is better to let them make their own decisions. If after a couple of days or weeks they decide that they have made a bad decision, then they will realise that they have wasted their money. This will encourage them to think more carefully about the choices that they make in the future.

We all want the best for our kid’s future, and one of the aspects to think about is their financial stability. By teaching them everything that they need to know about money, you are giving them a great start that they can build on.

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Hello And Goodbye To The Feminax Years

The thing about being an 'older' mum is that just as you are coming to terms with the end of your fertility, your daughter is approaching the beginning of hers.

And while, in many ways, I am thinking "good riddance!" and looking forward to many Feminax-free years (other pain killers are available), Caitlin has all the fun of this to deal with.

Of course it's a natural part of being a woman, but the arrival of menstruation heralds a new phase of life in which nothing is ever quite the same again.

There may be some lucky souls who breeze through it and, as in the Bodyform adverts, find it no impediment to a combat-level workout, or a bar to water skiing across lakes with their long hair streaming like a glossy curtain behind them.

Frankly, I've never met one of these women.

'Monthlies' have always been more curse than blessing, despite the persistent attempts of sanitary protection companies to convince us that life can continue at an even higher octane pace than usual.

No.  Anyone who has had the misfortune to wrestle with a Tampax Super Plus in a dank public toilet in Inveraray on a family holiday in the 80s, will understand that, rather than being an affirmation of femininity, it's proof that our creator had a very dodgy sense of humour.

Of course, society in general tends to regard the ending of periods as proof of old age.  I believe the term 'dried up' is often applied.

Nobody, you'll notice talks about the withering shrinkage which affects older men.  I can't ever remember hearing the phrase 'withered old bachelor'.

But, because I have a 9 year old daughter, I have to put a brave face (or foof) on things and pretend it's all a glorious adventure.

In all seriousness though, our daughters are lucky to have access to sanitary protection and medical care which is severely lacking in poorer countries.  And I once read of a woman who used to buy old handbags and fill them with personal hygiene supplies such as toothbrushes, toothpaste and tampons to give out to the homeless women she found in her city centre. What a brilliant idea.

Menstruation is as much a political as a biological issue in some quarters but that is a topic for another post.

But I digress.  I have compiled a few snippets of advice which I will pass on when needed.

*Always carry sanitary protection with you

Because periods are often irregular and will catch you out.  The wrapping of many sanitary towels will rustle louder than a Roman legion marching up a gravel path so it's pointless to try to conceal the noise.

*Try to stop period pain as soon as you can

If you have period pain, try to stop it in its tracks before it gets worse.  Painkillers (Feminax was always my saviour), a hot water bottle and a nap work wonders.

*Tell your employer if it's becoming a problem

Should employers allow women with period pain sick leave? That's tricky but I've always felt that if you suffer from the kind of dragging period pain that floors you then you should be able to stay home.  Sometimes of course, you can't but if you genuinely can't perform then I think you should at least explain your predicament to HR.

*If your period pain is frequently bad, see your GP

If your period pain is that bad, you should see a doctor.  The most common treatment used to be the prescribing of the contraceptive pill but you should get yourself checked out for other causes of extreme pain such as cysts or endometriosis.

The contraceptive pill, of course, comes with its own set of risks so you will need to carefully weigh up the pros and cons.

Some mums might not be too happy about their young daughters taking the pill which is understandable but if it helps them to cope with extreme pain I think it is worth considering, on the basis that there are regular GP check-ups, particularly for blood pressure.

*Be aware of Toxic Shock Syndrome

I have never liked tampons and given the risks of Toxic Shock Syndrome, I am surprised more women don't avoid them.

Toxic shock syndrome is a rare but life-threatening condition caused by bacteria getting into the body and releasing harmful toxins. It's often associated with tampon use in young women and it can get worse very quickly and even be fatal if not treated promptly.

*Consider alternative forms of sanitary protection

These days there are other alternatives to traditional pads and tampons, such as moon cups , menstrual sponges and reusable sanitary towels.

*Listen to your body

The old joke is that a woman with PMS needs chocolate or carbs to help her feel better.  I've always found my appetite would increase significantly and, as long as you don't go mad, the odd chocolatey treat won't hurt.  By this I mean a Twix or two and not three pounds of Hotel Chocolat's finest.

*Expect some mood swings

Crying at random stuff is normal during your time of the month. Nature documentaries, sad words on Countdown, missing your bus, insufficient choice of sarnie for your Boots Meal Deal - there really is no telling what might set you off.  But it's all completely normal.

We become slaves to our Oestrogen, just one of our hormones that is capable of creating havoc.

*Take extra care of your skin

Spots and break-outs are common around the time of your period.  Much pocket money was spent on Clearasil and Neutrogena, both of which were great at dealing with oily, spotty skin.  Later came the Clinique 3 Step regime and their trusty concealer which I use to this day.

*Gentle exercise will help

Particularly to get things flowing and to help ease that horrid dragging feeling.  Just a gentle 30 minute walk will help.

*Try to stay regular

Make sure you are not constipated as this seems to make the pain worse.  Bran flakes or a high fibre cereal every day from the middle of your cycle onwards may help avoid this.

*Nappy sacks might be a life saver

Bear with me but since having kids I've realised that nappy sacks (plastic bags designed to help dispose of soiled nappies) are great to use a sanitary bags if you are out and about and there is no sanitary towel bin - and let's be honest, most of these are not emptied anywhere near as often as they should be.

*Brands DO make a difference

If there is one area where paying that little bit more makes a difference, it is with sanitary protection (as it also is with nappies!).

If you're not sure which absorbancy towel or tampon to buy, buy one level higher than you think you'll need.  It's always good to keep a stash of lighter absorbancy towels or panty liners for those days when you're just about to start or your flow is tailing off.

*Your cycle will vary

If you're stressed or lose a lot of weight for example, your cycle may vary dramatically.  A classic example of this is when you are studying for exams or an equally challenging life event.

You may also find that stressing about getting pregnant may not only prevent you conceiving but may affect your cycle so much you don't know where you are with it!

You should also see a GP if you suffer from a very heavy flow.

So there you have it.  While it would be great to pretend it's all hearts and butterflies, I think it's better to prepare our tween / teenage daughters for what is to come.

It's hard, isn't it to know exactly when to broach the subject of menstruation with your tweenage daughter - or sex come to that.  My parents bought me a book about fruit flies.  Truth.  It's OK though.  I think the fruit flies really loved each other.

Have you discussed menstruation with your daughters?  How did you approach it?  And for those of you with sons, did you explain it to them too?

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Keep Track Of Your Kids With The dokiWatch 3G Enabled Smartwatch For Kids

A couple of years ago we lost Caitlin.  A family squabble over lunch in Cardiff Bay led to an act of defiance and our feisty little daughter marching out into the thronging crowds whilst we scrabbled after her.

For a few, heart stopping minutes, we couldn't see her but luckily she hadn't wandered too far.  I can still remember the sickening lurch in my stomach as I realised she was completely out of sight and anything could happen to her.

Which is why I was happy to road-test the dokiWatch, the world's most advanced smartwatch for kids aged 6 to 12 which is both a wearable phone and a tracking device. If I had had one of these finding Caitlin would have been quicker and far less stressful.

Whilst the jury is still out on the safety of kids using mobile phones and the inevitability of our children having them at some point continues to be a major point of parental discussion, the dokiWatch offers a kind of half way platform which allows both child and parent the comfort that comes with being able to stay in touch.

The dokiWatch is the first ever 3G enabled smartwatch for children and it has video calling, voice calling and messaging.  Not only does it have GPS tracking but there's an electronic 'dokiPet' which acts as a fitness tracker and awards achievement badges.

So what exactly does it do?

Connectivity

To use the dokiWatch you need a Nano SIM with a voice and data service from your mobile provider. It is incredibly easy to set up - just insert the sim, turn the watch on and scan the QR code with the doki app.

Functions

Voice Calling - parents and kids can call each other and you can also have a preset friends list when contacts can be called at the touch of a button (for example grandparents).

Voice Messaging - parents and kids can send each other voice messages up to 30 seconds long.

Text Messaging & Emojiis - great for sending reminders to your kids.

Emergency SOS Mode - a red SOS button on the side of the watch will send an emergency notification to designated contacts including 60 seconds of your child's voice and any background noise.

Smart Locator - you can track the position of your child on the doki app which uses GPS, GSM and WiFi to pinpoint their location.

Alert Area - you can configure the watch to alert you when your child leaves a designated area.

Classroom Mode - you can turn the watch off so that it doesn't interrupt lesson.

What we liked

Caitlin and Ieuan took turns wearing it and loved the messaging function and being able to call me every five minutes with an update on their location.  In turn, I could see their location on the doki app.

The watch is bright, colourful and comfortable to wear. Ours was 'Sonic Blue' but there's also Dazzle Pink, Shark Grey and Mango Yellow. I worried initially about the watch falling off when the kids ran about but it fits quite securely without being uncomfortable or irritating to the skin.

It gives you the confidence of knowing where your kids are within a set radius and encourages a little more independence in your kids.

Caitlin also liked that the watch is a bit of a head turner and attracted quite a few admiring glances!

What we didn't like

Nothing, in all honesty.  For the less than tech-savvy, a basic 'quick start' guide would be a handy addition to the pack and our only other niggle was that the charging cable is magnetic and will fall off the watch if you knock it whilst it is charging.  I would have preferred a charging cable that could be actually inserted into the watch.

We gave our dokiWatch a thorough road test on our holiday in Devon and the only problem we had was that it was tricky to get the video messaging to work due to the poor signal in some parts of the countryside - a problem which afflicts all mobile devices.

We had absolutely no problem with voice calling or messaging.

If you would like to try the dokiWatch, the manufacturers, Indiegogo.com are holding a flash sale for 48 hours only starting from 12 AM GMT on June 5th where the starting price will be $119 USD (40% discount) for the first 50 purchasers and $139 thereafter (30% discount).  The Doki Web Store is also selling the watch and will ship to over 30 countries.

Sale Link: 

www.indiegogo.com/projects/dokiwatch-world-s-most-advanced-kids-smartwatch#/

I have to say that, having lost Caitlin once, we will be keeping our dokiWatch charged and certainly ready for use on holiday and trips to town.  We used a free pay-as-you-go SIM from GiffGaff which offers a data / call bundle for £12.

Not all schools, of course, will permit the wearing of gadgets but given the number of parents I see speeding to pick up their kids on the school run, this particular one would be a great help when you're stuck in traffic (again!) or, like me, have got distracted leaving the house and can't find your keys! One quick call and you can let your child know where you are and tell them what you need them to do.

The only function the dokiWatch lacks is getting your kids to do what you ask.

In some case I fear we're a few years off that yet.

*a PR sample was received for the purpose of this post.

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Are Your Kids Ready For Their Own Phone?

Kids are growing up faster than ever. You only have to switch on the news to hear of another child subjected to online bullying, or being pressured by social media posts. 

And while we all want to protect our children from online horrors, we have to accept that they’re growing up in a world very different to our own - one where technology rules. 

Image credit: Anthony Kelly

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when a child should get their first smartphone, but one thing’s for sure: acceptable ages are getting younger and younger. And this isn’t a surprise - in fact, it’s a good thing. 

Our children will work in a world where digital is key, and if they aren’t digital-savvy, they could miss out. Schools all over the world are putting more and more emphasis on using IT in lessons, even introducing coding lessons. 

So, if you know it’s going to happen anyway, it’s time to start weighing up when your kids are ready to get a phone. 

How responsible are they?

This is the most important question to ask yourself. If you can trust your children to use their phone sensibly, and give you complete access to apps, websites and passwords, then you’re onto a winner. NSPCC.org.uk has some great resources for parents and children alike, to help teach your kids the dangers of going online, and how to stay safe. 

Nearly all phones come with parental locks and controls, so before you pick a phone, see which has the best ratings for enforced security and passwords. 

How financially savvy are they?

We all hear about the kids who accidentally spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on sneaky in-app purchases, so it’s vital that your children have a good grasp about money. This is a two-fold approach really. They need to know the consequences of just clicking ‘buy’ when they need help in a game. And they need to know the average running costs of a phone. 

You might not ask them to contribute towards their plan, but it’s good to sit down together to see what the costs are. 

Sites like SimOnlyDeals.co.uk are good to give your children an idea of what they can get for their money. You could also explore comparison sites for phones too. 

You could use this helpful infographic to explain the details of budgeting and finances, in an easy-to-understand way. 

How good are they are prioritising?

Image credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/squirrel02/12631904423/

Smartphones give children an endless source of amusement. From going on sites like Facebook.com to sending funny pictures to each other on SnapChat, it’s easy to get sucked into spending hours in front of the screen. 

If you can trust your children to enjoy their off-screen lives as much as their on-screen ones, then it’s time to consider letting them have their own phone. There are some great ideas in this article, about how to balance time on and off screen. And if you think you’re guilty of too much screen time, you might find them quite helpful too!

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Making Memories - The Importance Of Outdoor Play

If you think back to the happiest times in your childhood, I'll bet a lot of your memories involve being outdoors.  Whether it's camping (hmm), horse-riding, exploring parks and woodlands, beaches and caves, I think it's the sense of freedom you remember most as a child.

And this is certainly not something you get to experience stuck on a sofa with an iPad.

Caitlin cartwheeling on Barry Island Beach 

In fact, over half (56%) of British adults have revealed that their fondest childhood memories were made whilst exploring and socialising outside, according to a survey of 1,672 UK adults by garden and conservatory furniture e-tailer Alfresia.co.uk.

The research indicates that today's children may well be missing out on key childhood memories due to an over reliance on indoor play.

Despite this, over half of parents (58%) in 2017 reveal that they regularly have to battle with their children to get them outdoors and 24% say that their children ‘rarely’ play outdoors during their free time.

Ieuan exploring Bantham Beach in Devon

For many this is due to the overuse of technology, as 69% of British parents believe their children spend more time playing indoors on computer games and technology than embracing nature and the outdoors.

Just 9% believe their kids would play outdoors even while it was raining, compared to almost 1 in 5 parents (19%) who claim they would have done so when they were children.

The outdoor activity that evoked some of the strongest memories for British parents was building dens, which was cited as a favourite for 68%.

This was followed closely by playing in the park (65%) and trips to the seaside, which was remembered fondly by 57%.

Other top childhood outdoor memories include playing games like hide and seek, hopscotch and tag (56%) and participating in ball games, such as rounders, tennis and football (52%).

Playing in the paddling pool was a memorable pastime for 49%, followed by enjoying picnics (45%), having water fights (41%), embarking on camping trips (38%) and having barbecues (31%).

More than 1 in 3 adults (35%) remember regularly pleading with their parents for extra time to play outside with friends and 44% stated that they preferred playing outside over being indoors during the summer holidays.

Whilst we adults may well wistfully remember our den building in the woods, many parents now shake their heads and say "yes, but times have changed".  Media coverage of crimes against children seems to be a daily occurrence and whilst my mother would happily let my sister and I spend hours cycling up and down the road outside our house, I wouldn't be happy to let Caitlin and Ieuan do that now - not least because of the increase of traffic.

Father & Son on Thurlestone Beach, Devon

Let's be honest here though.  Whose job is it to make sure that our kids get outside and play?  As parents we are as much to blame, I sometimes think, as our kids.  It's all too easy to rely on those 'electronic babysitters', isn't it?  Or to give in to the fears I've alluded to.

There's no easy solution, but perhaps families should prioritise more time spent outdoors playing together.  

And everyone has a role to make sure that happens.

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The Importance Of Pursuing Your Hobbies As A Mum

When you become a mother, all selfishness tends to fly out of the window. Overnight, your responsibilities for your own happiness pales in comparison to your responsibility for another human life. When you have someone completely dependent on you, not just for survival, but for happiness and prosperity, taking time for yourself can be at the bottom of your list of priorities. But is that actually healthy?

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According to a study, the average mum gets only 17 minutes of “me” time a day. 17 minutes?! What can you even do with that? A quick trip to the loo and slurp down a cup of lukewarm coffee, all the while waiting with half an ear for the baby monitor to start squawking? It isn’t good for us to lose sight of ourselves. Our lives obviously revolve around our families, but we need to be able to pursue who we are as well, without feeling overwhelming guilt at the “selfishness”. So here’s a bit of a guide for striking this compromise: for having time for you to pursue your hobbies, while still being the best mummy you can be.

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Give yourself space

When time to yourself is so elusive, you need to be able to make a space for yourself in the world. Typically, as mothers, we give over our world to our children. That means every corner of our homes become theirs, and we realise a few months down the line that we have nowhere to go to call our own. 

Men often carve this personal space out in the garage, cellar, or garden shed, but it’s harder for us mums. They have a place they can go to escape, away from the screaming, shouting, and excitement of the home. But mums need this space too. Even if it’s just a bathroom which isn’t overflowing with bath toys and No More Tears. A bathroom in which we can slip down and soak in the tub with candles, salts, and soft music, and not have to worry about the children, just for half an hour. But, what is optimal, is a space in which you can carry out your favourite hobbies. Whether it’s a music room in which you can sing and play the violin, a sewing room, or a room for painting and practicing yoga. 

Having this space to which you can escape is essential, but being able to undertake these hobbies keeps that part of you alive. When your children are born, it’s easy to give everything over to them, but it’s essential to keep that part of yourself alive. So if you can set up your easel in your bedroom, that’s great, but if you can spare a whole room, garden shed, or garage space for your hobby, that’s even better.

Give yourself time

As mentioned previously, women with young families, on average, only get 17 minutes alone to themselves in a day. That is hardly time to do anything, and woman quickly fall out of love with themselves. 

With young children, sleep can be elusive, so relaxation must be sought in other ways. Without it, it’s easy to become frayed, overwhelmed, and exhausted. When your children are very young, is it possible to arrange for childcare with your parents, partner, or a friend to allow you some time to yourself between feeds? Even if it’s just an hour for a nap, a bath, or a walk in the fresh air, it will do anyone the world of good. But once they start to get a bit older, they’re in school, or they can occupy themselves for a while longer, it becomes easier to take a moment for yourself. 

When you don’t need to be on feeding duty every hour, it’s easy to go out for a few hours and leave them in someone else’s care, and this is the perfect time to start rekindling interests you held previously. 

Were you an avid horse rider, a competent musician, or a lover of badminton? Did you have to give all those up because you simply didn’t have the time or energy when you had young children? As soon as you feel comfortable leaving them for a while longer as they get older, take this time to go back to your hobbies. 

This time is essential for your own mental health. It allows you to be you, the person your partner fell in love with, rather than just a mother to beautiful children. It gives you time to be yourself again, and let your hair down. This time, for any mother, is the best gift you can give yourself. 

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Take a class

Sometimes, motivating yourself to leave the house, put down the chores, and say goodbye to the kids for a couple of hours to go to the gym, go for a cycle, or play a sport can be difficult. It can feel selfish and self-indulgent, but also like a waste of time or money. 

For the same reason we are encouraged to take antenatal classes, we are encouraged to take hobby classes in adulthood. It is essential that we surround ourselves with like-minded people, support, and fun. These people become our support network, but they also become our friends. Because, chances are, if you can’t get out to do you hobbies, you probably don’t have must time for friends either. So enjoying a class or a club, just once a week, gives you a huge boost in your socialising, and you learn a new skill as a bonus. 

So whether it’s going back to your horseriding lessons from before your pregnancy, or you’re going to give beginner singing lessons a go, surrounding yourself with support and laughter is essential. And it isn’t like taking up your new hobby is going to seriously detract from your children - it’s only an hour or so in class each week, and a few hours practising at home if you’re lucky. Just don’t be tempted to bring your kids along while you’re in your class - not only will everyone else probably not appreciate it as much as you, the whole point is that you’re supposed to be away from them, and developing yourself, not them.

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Don’t bite off more than you can chew

Once your child is weaned, and no longer attached to you, it can be tempting to try to make the most of your new-found freedom. After all, you’ve got a taste for it now, and it might be addictive. But you want your hobbies to become long-term enjoyment, not just a fleeting thing, so they need to be sustainable. 

Don’t decide that all of a sudden you will dedicate all day every Saturday to your new floristry course, with badminton on Wednesdays and trumpet classes on Thursdays, because you’ll soon realise that you miss your kids, it costs a lot, and the laundry is just piling up. Start slowly with just one hobby. 

A gentle change in your routine is far easier for you to get used to than a huge overhaul. A class one evening a week, even after the kids have gone to bed, could be the perfect first step into this, and it won’t even detract from the time you get to spend with your family.

Find a hobby buddy

Have you ever started a hobby, only to give it up within a month or two though a lack of motivation? We’re all guilty of it! Which is why taking a hobby buddy along with you is the perfect way to motivate each other. 

If you have someone in a similar boat, perhaps a new mum with similar interests to you from your antenatal classes, you share concerns, but you will also share the desire to spend the time to yourselves. This is perfect for motivation. 

When you’re feeling like it’s a slog getting to your class or your club, and you’d prefer a night in front of the telly, your desire not to let down your hobby buddy will prevail. You’ll want to get out there and help them, as much as you want to help yourself. So be sure to put the feelers out among your friends and see if you share any hobbies, and can find a time to explore these together.

With starting a hobby, getting out, and enjoying time away from your family, it’s important not to rush it. Many new mums feel the desire to return to their pre-pregnant self before they’re fully comfortable with the change. You might give it a few goes, only to keep giving up. And that’s okay.

Sometimes, you’re just not ready to be away from your family, or you might be far too tired to actually enjoy any extracurricular activities. The key is not to give up giving up. If one activity doesn’t work for you, wait a while and try something new. Exploring hobbies is a bit part of maintaining a sense of self when your life becomes so selfless, so keep on trying. And if you’re worried about leaving the kids at home, find hobbies they can get involved in too.

Are you a mum with some great hobbies? How do you juggle the two, and what do your family and partner do to support you?

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