I love to peruse the weighty Christmas editions of the women's monthly magazines and fantasize about smoked salmon blinis, a handmade Beef Wellington with seasonal veg, and a cheesecake smothered in a wild berry compote with a sprinkling of the darkest chocolate.
My dining room will be a-glow with candlelight or even fairy lights (primarily just to annoy The Husband) with beams dancing off gleaming champagne flutes and wine goblets.
The wine will be chilled, the canapes prepped and I will have a leisurely hour or so to dress and do my face and hair.
Anyone who has kids, of course, knows that this is about as likely as snow in July.
The reality is that time will drift away so we're late putting things in the oven.
The crockery won't match.
There will be, for some paranormal reason, several dessert spoons missing and the kids will have hidden the teaspoons.
I will probably have bought a cheesecake and forgotten to defrost it and the local supermarket will have absolutely no cream.
By the time we have finally got the kids to bed, I'll have approximately 10 minutes to change into a dress and will be barefoot because I won't be able to find any tights.
Bed socks are not a good look for a dinner party.
Then there's the question of the guest list.
It's usually us four, plus my mum and dad.
The last time we 'entertained', the guests got so tipsy on red wine we found a pair of them lying outside on the pavement counting the stars.
If I hadn't gone to put the rubbish out for the bin men at 11 pm, I suspect they would still have been there in the morning.
No, to play it safe, I think I'd choose from the ranks of the famous, past and present for a memorable dinner party with less chance of any health and safety infringements.
These would be my top 6 guests.
Hercule Poirot
although he'd probably spend the time in my kitchen rearranging my crockery in order of height
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| David Suchet as Hercule Poirot |
because Caitlin has Elizabeth as a middle name in her honour and good Queen Bess was a great feminist role model.
Stephen Fry
So many fabulous stories to tell and he could take charge of the after dinner quiz.
Albert Einstein
to explain quantum physics and to find out his views on "The Law of Attraction".
Dame Helen Mirren
for her great pro-age stance
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| Dame Helen Mirren |
to see if she'd turn up or just wanted to be alone
The Husband would just invite the Welsh Rugby Team or Five Finger Death Punch to provide the music. I say music. Everyone has their own interpretation.
Still, at least these days the phrase "do you need a hand with the dishes" is practically redundant now many of us have dishwashers.
And given my special talent of usually breaking at least one glass when hand-washing, I'm rather glad about that. Thankfully, Finish dishwasher products offer lasting glass protection too!
To help you keep your glasses sparkling, I have a bundle of Finish dishwasher tablets and dishwasher salt to give away.
The prize consists of:-
1x Quantum Max Shine & Protect apple and lime 40 tabs
1x Quantum Max Shine & Protect lemon 30 tabs
2 x Performance Enhancing Dishwasher Salt 1kg
Just enter via the Rafflecopter widget in the usual way. UK entrants only.
The giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Saturday 31st October 2015.
Good luck!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Further information about Finish dishwasher products is available on their website, on Facebook or on Twitter.
*PR samples were received for the writing of this post.
