Keeping Calm When You've Got Kids

Having kids is one of the single most incredible things you will do in your adult life. But oh my, it’s stressful at times. Being responsible for these little lives can put a whole lot of pressure on you; every parent has wondered if they’re doing things right, and when you’re constantly busy and sleep deprived it can make everything seem a whole lot worse. From the moment you wake up until the moment you fall asleep



Source: Pexels

Don’t Feel Guilty For Needing a Break

Every single one of us needs a break now and again. Being a parent is relentless, hard work. Having time off when you need it is no bad thing. Maybe you could book a babysitter and go out for a nice meal with your partner. Perhaps your children’s grandparents or other relatives will take them out for the day, leaving you free to visit a spa, have a deep tissue massage to relieve stress or just put your feet up and do nothing!

Make Time To See Friends

When you have kids, you change from being ‘just you’ to a mother, and that never goes away even when your children grow up. But it’s important to maintain some of yourself that’s separate from being a parent. Keeping in contact with friends can help you to do this. They allow you to express yourself and just be ‘you’ not the wife, mother and other roles you have. You might not get to go out like you once did, but the occasional girls night, cinema trip, brunch or lunch gives you a break and allows you to keep close bonds with the important people in your life.

Split Duties With Your Partner

Dividing up responsibilities with your partner can be tricky, but it’s essential to keep everything running smoothly in the household. Every now and again you could arrange for one of you to look after the children to give the other time to themselves. This allows you both to maintain hobbies and friends, while the other does something fun with the kids which they’re sure to enjoy. Then switch, so you both get a break.

Tire Them Out
Keeping kids tired is one way to give yourself an easier life! When they’re bored, irritable and bouncing off the walls, you’re likely to get far more tantrums and challenging behavior. Before or after school each day you could take them to a park to allow them to blow off steam. It’s fun, allows them to stay healthy, get some exercise and stops them from getting bored. At the evenings or on warm weekends you could go on hikes, bike rides or kick a ball around at the park. You could also take them to play areas where they’ll tire themselves out no hassle! Getting outdoors with the kids will help to keep you in shape too as an added bonus, you will end up doing exercise without it feeling like a workout.

What do you do to stay sane with kids? Do you have any tricks for getting through a stressful day or any cunning parenting hacks?

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The Retro Interior Design Trends Devaluing Your Home

A recent study commissioned by Bathrooms.com of 2000 people aged 16 and above across the UK has discovered 10 retro interior design trends which might lose us money when we come to sell our homes.

Wood panelling, avocado bathrooms and built in bars were named as just some of the fixtures most likely to put UK homebuyers off.

It is estimated that 324,000 UK homes still have an avocado bathroom suite and, on average UK homebuyers would reduce their offer by a massive £5,000 if a property still has one!

Research into the nation’s most hated retro décor trends has discovered the 10 interior design trends most likely to devalue your home are:

1. Wood panelling (46% of UK homebuyers wouldn't buy a property if it still had old fashioned wood panelling)

2. Avocado bathrooms (44%)

3. Built-in bars (41%)

4. Woodchip (41%)

5. Artex ceilings (40%)

6. Heavily patterned carpet (35%)

7. Textured wallpaper (34%)

8. Crazy paving (33%)

9. Brick fireplaces (33%)

10. Built in wardrobes over the bed (30%)

According to the study, UK homebuyers would look to knock £4,877.46 off the purchase price of a property if it still had an outdated avocado bathroom suite. One in six of us (16%) would expect to pay at least £5,000 less and 6% of 25-34 year olds would seek a price reduction of at least £10,000.

Almost three quarters of the UK (75%) think avocado bathroom suites are ugly and three out of four people (71%) say if they bought a new home and it had an avocado bathroom suite, it would be the first thing they’d rip out. But despite this, a fifth of UK homeowners (20%) confess they’ve never updated their bathroom, and around a quarter of the UK (23%) admit to being embarrassed by their outdated bathroom when their friends come over to visit.

Have you got any of the 10 worst offenders?

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Keep Your Family Healthy This Spring

We have survived another dank and dismal UK winter and are heading towards spring.  Just the word lifts the spirits.  We start to think of brighter, lighter days and evenings with the promise of summer warmth and lazing on beaches in the sun.

So it's time to think about getting the family fit, healthy and ready to enjoy everything the British summertime has to offer (even if that involves umbrellas).

Rather than stress yourself out by making wholesale changes, try subtle tweaks to your routine to gradually improve everyone's health - including your own.

Here are some great ways to improve your health as a family.

Get outside together and make the most of the daylight

Did you know that in the UK we get most of our Vitamin D from sunlight exposure from late March to the end of September?

Vitamin D helps our bodies to absorb calcium and phosphate from our diet, minerals which are important for healthy bones, teeth and muscles.

We make sure we take the kids out for a brisk weekend walk through our local woods, to our nearby beaches (usually Penarth) or Cosmeston nature reserve.

But make sure you use sunscreen

Many skin experts agree that THE most important thing we can do to protect our skin against aging is to use sunscreen.

And we know how vital it is to protect our little ones' skin against the power of the sun. The NHS advises that children under 6 months should be kept out of direct strong sunlight and that, from March to October in the UK children should cover up with suitable clothing and spend time in the shade (particularly from 11am to 3pm) and wear a sunscreen of at least SPF15.

In fact, Cancer Research UK says that getting painful sunburn, just once every 2 years, can triple your risk of melanoma skin cancer.

Early nights

We've always tried to maintain a regular bedtime routine for the kids (around 7:30 pm) which is just as important now that they are 9 and 7 as it was when they were babies.

Things tend to lapse during school holidays though but even then 8:30 pm tends to be the latest as the kids are grumpy and tired the next day.

We try to limit screen time before bed because research shows that it affects our sleep patterns, making it harder to drop off.

And the kids still have a drink of milk which, even if the jury is still out on whether the tryptophan it contains actually helps you sleep, has the effect of signalling it's time to relax and switch off.

Eat fresh and organic

We've all heard this a million times and it is basic, common sense advice.  Many people feel that organic food is overpriced and there certainly seems to be a noticeable price hike on produce such as organic berries.

To make the most of our food budget it's worth remembering that some organic fruits and vegetables are worse than others for containing pesticide residue - according to the campaigning charity Pesticide Action Network (PAN UK).

It all depends on the farming methods used so they advise switching to organic for the food most affected by chemicals and sticking with the standard versions of the least affected if budget is an issue.

So which fruits and vegetables should we always consider buying organic?  You can find a helpful list in this article from The Telegraph newspaper published in November 2015.

Protect young tummies with probiotics

There's nothing worse than an outbreak of the dreaded sickness bug and one simple way you can help your children's immune systems strong and hopefully keep the bugs away is to give them a probiotic.

These are live bacteria and yeasts in the form of a food supplement or yoghurt drink and are promoted as having various health benefits.

Probiotics are also thought to help restore the natural balance of bacteria in the gut when it has been disrupted by an illness or treatment.

As yet,  the NHS says there is little evidence to support many of the health claims made for them but I give Caitlin and Ieuan a probiotic every morning on the basis that it is unlikely to harm them and if it saves me having to swab down the bathroom - great!

Make drinking water interesting

We know that drinking water is vital for our health.  According to the National Hydration Council, kids should be drinking anywhere between 1.6 litres (ages 4-8) up to 2.1 litres (ages 9-13) a day. Note that this amount is water from drinks and food and includes milk, vegetable and fruit juices and plain unsweetened drinks.

As adults, we should be drinking around 2.5 litres a day for men and 2.0 litres for women.

We try to stay away from highly sweetened drinks and choose no added sugar squashes but we also serve up a jug of water at mealtimes to which we sometimes add ice and chopped fruits like strawberry slices and lemon.

We also try to bribe the kids with funky water bottles and straws!

We've found if we drink it, the kids are more likely to join in.  As they say you have to model the behaviour you want to see.

As you can see, there are loads of small changes you can make to get your family healthier without breaking the bank.

It's also a good idea to make sure that the family's medicine chest is fully stocked with everything you might need for minor injuries and illnesses.  We've usually got a bottle of Calpol stashed away and a job lot of plasters!

And remember the healing power of oxytocin, also known as the 'love hormone' which is released whenever we share a hug.

That's an easy one, isn't it?

*collaborative post

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Hack Your Home On Tour: Scientific Fun For Kids From The Royal Institution

The Royal Institution Lecture: How To Hack Your Home on Tour 

Professor Danielle George

Monday 13th March 6:30 pm - 7:30 pm 

National Museum of Wales, Cathays Park, CF10 3NP

When I was in school, our science lessons were decidedly low tech and uninspiring.  Back To The Future it was not.  More a cloud of chalk dust, bunsen burners and strange smells.

Every year, my dad made my sister Sarah and I watch The Royal Institution CHRISTMAS LECTURES in the hope to get us enthused and the programmes were always much more fun and grown-up than our school lessons.

Credit: Paul Wilkinson

And now kids of all ages have the chance to indulge their inner science geek and experience the magic of the CHRISTMAS LECTURES in our home town of Cardiff.

I'm sure you are aware of the impending arrival of smart meters to help us measure and better control our energy usage.  And there are already numerous smartphone apps which let you switch your heating or lights on or off.  We are bringing science in to our homes and daily lives more and more and at an increasing rate too.

Professor Danielle George, an Associate Dean for Teaching and Learning in the Faculty of Engineering and Physical Sciences at The University of Manchester, is currently presenting "How To Hack Your Home on Tour", an exciting and inspiring event which will show how you can use your creativity and imagination to engineer amazing things.

Professor Danielle George:  Credit Paul Wilkinson

You'll learn the simple scientific principles which underlie much of the modern world whilst watching a host of hacked robots perform amazing musical feats and witnessing everyday objects being turned into something wonderful - even a loaf of bread!

The lecture is suitable for all ages but particularly for ages 10+.

As a mother of a daughter, I think it is incredibly important to get girls interested in science and thinking about a science-based career.  And Professor Danielle George is certainly a bit of an inspiration!

How to buy tickets

You can buy tickets here and tickets are buy one get one free.

How to get involved with The Royal Institutions

Families in Cardiff area can get also involved with Ri programmes by becoming members of The Royal Institution and on the Ri website you can also find some great simple science experiments you can do at home.  You can also connect with the Ri on Twitter @Ri_Science.

Ticket giveaway

I also have 4 tickets to give away.  Entry is via the Rafflecopter widget and my usual terms and conditions apply.  UK entrants only and the giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Wednesday 8th March.

Please note attendee names and email address must be provided no later than Friday 10th March.

This looks to be a fabulous fun event and Caitlin, Ieuan and I will be there to learn as much as we can.  We hope to see you there too.


a Rafflecopter giveaway
Good luck.

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Diabetes in Children: Focus On The Positive

It can be one of the most overwhelming challenges any parent can ever go through, and that is because there are so many different things to think about when it comes to managing your child’s diabetes.

We, as parents have enough to think about, we already have to handle the immense pressures of doting on young ones, so having the added pressure of dealing with diabetes can be horrendously daunting a lot of the time.

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But don’t despair and don’t pull your hair out, because chances are you are doing the most fantastic job.

However, if you are doubting yourself now and then, or just want a little bit of advice on how you can make thing easier, then the following tips may help.

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1. Management tasks

It doesn’t matter what age your child is, you are going to need to take a really proactive role when it comes to the management tasks of diabetes.

This will not only make your life easier, but it will help them understand what they need to remember, which will encourage these steps to become a habit.

This includes meal planning, monitoring glucose levels in their blood, insulin injection and pill management. All of this is part of your life, it is just a matter of adjustment.

2. Understanding

Understanding what diabetes is, what can help and what can inflame is a tough task. It requires a real dedication to gaining knowledge. However, there are a few areas which you can concentrate on, and do as a family.

These include things like exercising, and knowing how, when, for how long and at what intensity they should be exercising. It includes things like understanding the importance of daily foot care, how to apply Allpresan, how to do a thorough foot exam and what footwear is best.

Above all, it also requires a detailed understanding of high and low glucose levels, how to treat and how to prevent.

3. Medical Team

Don’t just find a good medical team, work as closely as you can with them. Learn as much as you can from them, try and tap into their knowledge, especially when it comes to pediatric diabetes.

Speak to everyone on the team that you can; doctors, nutritionists, educators, mental health experts, and anyone else you can. It will all help, and it will all help hugely. The less stress, worry, and pressure on you the better, so do what you can to reduce that stress.

4. Honesty

This is so important and so underrated. The worst thing anyone can do in life - whether it involves diabetes, bereavement, cancer or anything else - is to suffer in silence.

So talk to your child about anything they may be feeling. Ask what they are struggling with, help them remain positive and upbeat. Tell them about all the things they are doing so incredibly well, and build from there.

It is easier to help them improve on their weaknesses by focussing on their strengths,; it will help their mentality. But don’t stop there.

Be honest with your medical team; tell them what you are struggling with and what your child is struggling with too. This will allow them to react accordingly and help you both make the right moves.

5. Focus

Don’t make their life all about diabetes, because it isn’t who they are it is just something they live with.

Talk to them about other stuff too, about school, friends, girls, hobbies and everything else you talk to your other kids about.

The last thing you want to do when your child comes back home from school starts asking them about their glucose levels and focussing on this again. Let them tell you off their own back.

Just ask them what they got up to and whether their friend Jack is still is still captain of the football team. Take the focus away from diabetes for a moment.

6. Normal

Yes, your child has diabetes, a condition that requires monitoring and attention and concern, but let them have a normal childhood too.

So many parents let the worry overcome all else, so much so that they forget the child has their own life to lead and one that they want to be as normal as possible. So let them play sports and have their friends over for sleepovers and go to parties and stay up late watching films with you once a week.

That is the best way to help them feel strong and not powerless, happy and not caged, grateful and not bitter. It is about mentality, and normality, both of which you will have a huge amount of sway over.

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I Had My Babies In My Forties

If you had asked me when I was a young career girl just setting out in the world whether I would be having a baby in my forties, I would probably have told you absolutely not. Despite this, I had my children at 43 and 45 (I'm now 52) and I know that I have been extremely lucky.

My grandmother had a child at 45 so, whether or not there is a genetic predisposition to being able to have children later in life, I'm still aware that I managed the best feat of my life just in time.



Can you have a baby in your forties?

What was surprising was just how long it took. Despite being in my 40's I somehow thought that conception would be nothing short of immaculate and, when it took over a year, I found myself reading numerous books on improving your fertility the natural way and taking my temperature every morning to track ovulation.

My temperature never seemed to budge. Tracking the 'ten most fertile days' made sex (or iggly boo as one of my stranger friends calls it) about as exciting as cardboard.

I suffer an early miscarriage

I lost my first child at approximately 6-7 weeks. The charmless consultant gynaecologist we saw made it clear that he viewed this miscarriage as nothing more than a missed period. "You can hang on to see if there's a heartbeat", he told us, "or we'll have you in and whip it out". A managed miscarriage at home was the option we eventually took, wanting to see if the initial scans were wrong. They weren't.

Caitlin, born 2007

It was back to the temperature taking and the headstands for about another year until, one Valentine's evening, having practically given up, we went out for a romantic meal and got ever so slightly sloshed.

Caitlin was born the following November. And then, the October before Caitlin's 1st Birthday, Ieuan was conceived. Having waited so long for Caitlin, we assumed it would take a couple of years to give her a sibling. I should have listened to my wonderful midwife who told me that once you have had a child, it's as if your motor starts to work properly, and that I shouldn't be surprised if it didn't take long.

Pregnancy Scans

We were aware of the risks of late pregnancy. I had a nuchal translucency scan with Caitlin and amniocentesis with Ieuan. What we would have done in the event of any genetic problems, I still couldn't tell you.

Why didn't I do it sooner?

I have friends older than me who have had children at an equally late age. I also have quite a few friends in their mid thirties who think that they have all the time in the world to reproduce, when the truth is, the clock is ever ticking. Some of my friends must look at me and think "well, SHE did it" but it's easy to kid yourself isn't it.

I regret not having had my children at least ten years ago. In the end, my career (as a Marketing Manager and later Director) simply could not match up to the joy of having kids but I didn't meet my husband until I was 41.

This is the dilemma facing many women. Do we put our heart and soul into a career and hope that Mr Right will just come along, by which time we may no longer be fertile or able to carry a child? Or do we pursue a partner and children whilst we are still in our most fertile years, hoping that we can resume our education and career when the children are in school?

Can Women Ever "Have It All"?

I am a great fan of the late Helen Gurley Brown (who, with her husband, created the Cosmopolitan magazine empire) and read her book "Having it All" (still available from Amazon) from cover to cover in my early twenties. Helen believed the sky was the limit - primarily in terms of work and sex, but I think most women will agree that, today, "having it all" is an impossibility. That said, I'd still recommend Helen's work just to admire her incredible work ethic and zest for life.

I'm now faced with the prospect of staying as fit, healthy and mentally 'young' as possible. Not so much because I worry about the opinion of other mothers (although I'd be lying if I said I was totally immune to it), but for the sake of my children. As Hubby says "well, we just can't conk out early"....

Whatever our decision, we have to live with the consequences - but my two 'consequences' are pretty wonderful.

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You Before Them: The Necessity Of Self-Care

Being a mum goes hand in hand with putting others before yourself. Parenthood changes everything. You can no longer do exactly what you want when you want to do it because there are others who rely on you. This is all fine, of course, and is completely natural. But there are times when it’s necessary to put yourself first. After all, if you’re not healthy and happy, you’re not going to be effective in caring for others.



Self-Care

The concept of self-care means taking care of your own needs. It means making time to focus on yourself for a while and do the things that are necessary to keep you well and happy. It is necessary for optimum health and your overall sense of wellbeing.

What Happens If You Don’t Practise Self-Care?

If you fail to take some time for yourself once in a while, it’s likely you’ll burn out. You’ll feel ill, frustrated, irritable, and unhappy. It may also lead to physical illness. And if you’re ill, you won’t be able to take care of anyone.

Little And Often

The difficulty, when you’re a parent, is finding time to practise self-care. What with the morning routines, preparing the kids for school, work, meals, housework, etc., there’s little time left for anything other than sleep. The trick is to take a ‘little and often’ approach. Each day carve out a short period of time just for you; even if it’s just for twenty minutes. It could be when you first arrive home from work, or at some point in the evening. Let the rest of your family know that you’re taking a little time and you won’t be available to them for the next however many minutes. If you know that you have this time to look forward to, it makes the rest of your busy day a little easier.



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Types Of self-care

Self-care isn’t just about practising yoga and meditation, though this works for a lot of people. It’s about doing the things that support, sustain, and nourish you. This will vary from person to person. The following are common examples:

1. Taking A Bath

Water is naturally soothing and has been used in therapy and health for thousands of years. The water and heat help you to unwind and relax, gently easing away aches, pains, and stresses. Throw in some Epsom Salts for added impact.

2. Pamper Night

If you have the time, you can extend your hot bath into a full night of pampering. This can include some or all of the following:

* Soothing your tired, aching feet with a range of treatments

* Spending time on your nails and toenails and applying your favourite nail polish

* Face and body masks

* Exfoliating

* A gentle steam treatment for your skin

* Applying a conditioning treatment to your hair




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3. Concentrating On Your Physical Appearance

If you rarely have time to get your hair cut or to try some new makeup techniques, set aside an evening or a couple of hours to do this. Looking and feeling your best sometimes go hand in hand and so it pays to spend a little time on your appearance. Try out some new hairstyles. Take out your straighteners, heated rollers or electric hair straightening brush. Watch some online tutorials and experiment with different styles and looks.

If your makeup is a little old, invest in some new items. Makeup doesn’t last forever, and over time it can attract bacteria. So keep it fresh and new. This is a great excuse to try some different colours and products.

4. Reading

For many people, getting lost in a good book is a welcome form of escapism. For the duration of the book, they can divert their attention from the stresses and strains of everyday life and enjoy being part of someone else’s life or another world. Audiobooks are also a great way to relax. You can sit back while someone else tells you a story.

5. Walking

There’s something about being in nature that helps clear your mind and helps you feel more focused. You don’t have to go anywhere special. Just fifteen or twenty minutes with your iPod and the fresh air is all it takes.



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6. Exercise

Some people use exercise as a form of self-care. It gets their blood pumping and heart racing. You don’t have to go to the gym if that’s not your thing. Find a physical activity that’s right for you, whether it’s running, cycling, tennis, etc. Some people find that low-impact exercise such as swimming helps them to relax and wind down.

7. Gardening

Gardening not only gives you a good workout but it can help with aches, pains, and anxiety. Because it tends to last for a few hours, a gardening session can burn off more calories than going to the gym. If it’s a sunny day, you will also get a good dose of Vitamin D, and the close proximity to nature has a positive impact on the mind, helping ease stress and worry.

8. Meditation, Yoga, And Tai Chi

Forms of meditation, yoga and tai chi often go hand in hand with self-care, and there is a good reason. People who practise these activities report feeling calmer, less stressed, and generally happier. Much research has been done on this topic, and results show that exercising your mind has many physical and mental benefits.

9. Keeping A Gratitude Diary

Keeping a gratitude diary is much easier than it sounds. It doesn’t require you to write pages and pages. Many people do this each day, by simply recording three things they’re grateful for. Over time, it has been shown to increase positivity and refocus the mind. The idea is that no matter how busy or stressful your life is, there are lots of good things that are often forgotten or taken for granted. Focusing on these things helps to reset the mind and ease some of your worries.

It may be that you’re already practising self-care without even knowing it. What steps do you take to look after yourself and maximise your health and wellbeing?

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