Firework Lovers - Will Your Private Display Be Breaking The Law?

It's Bonfire Night on Saturday and I'm sure many people are planning small get-togethers with family and friends for a few fireworks, but did you know that as an organiser of these events you will be subject to the 2004 Fireworks Regulations?

The days of just a humble sparkler in the back garden are long gone

Event insurers Arag.co.uk are warning private firework party organisers about the legal responsibilities and risks that garden displays entail ahead of Bonfire Night - and there could be stiff penalties handed out to amateur pyrotechnicians who breach these regulations.

ARAG’s checklist for anyone planning garden displays this weekend is:

• Keep it at home - It has been illegal to set off fireworks “in or into any highway, street, thoroughfare or public place” since the Explosives Act of 1875

• Adults only - Possession of category 2 (garden) and category 3 (display) fireworks in a public place by anyone under the age of 18 is also an offence

• No pro, no show - Only pyrotechnics professionals are legally allowed to buy or possess category 4 (public display) fireworks

• Observe the curfew - Private firework displays must normally end by 11pm but the curfew is extended to midnight on November 5

You can find more safety tips for bonfire night, including a downloadable guide at bonfire-night-safety.co.uk.

The penalty for breaching the regulations is a fine of up to £5,000 or up to 6 months in prison. Such offences can also be dealt with through on-the-spot fines of £90.

Anyone hosting a private party or setting off fireworks could also face civil action if a guest is injured by a firework or the bonfire.

And of course there's the potential distress to our pets.

This is, of course, all well and good but I hope that these regulations are enforced.

I also think it's time to supermarkets and other major retailers to review their policy on selling fireworks direct to the general public.

Having listened to fireworks being let off in the streets around me in the middle of the night for days now, I suspect there are quite a few who would agree with me.

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My Problem Page - What Was I Asked In Week 44?

This week I'm talking about the best way for a mistress to end an affair, how to deal with a man who lies about his age and advising a husband whose wife's patience with him has run out.

If you would like any advice, feel free to message me or pop a comment in the comment box at the end of this post. I promise to be gentle.

Here's this week's questions.

Q: My wife claims I don't care about her, don't listen, and that I'm stagnant. I don't want her to feel held back and unloved. What can I do?

A: Firstly I think you need to remember that you are not wholly responsible for your wife’s happiness.
That, to a larger degree is hers and it sounds as if she is blaming you for her unhappiness.

What makes her say you don’t care about her or listen to her? Are you dismissive? Do you switch off or belittle her problems?

There’s a difference between hearing and listening and it sounds as if she is not getting the answers she wants from you. Is there a central issue here that is not being addressed? Are you out of work, struggling for money, trying for a baby?

What is it your wife wants to do - because what I’m picking up is a lack of action on both your parts.

All you can do is reassure her that you do love her, listen to her and offer suggested solutions with your support. But she will have to take action herself - and as long as you are there to help her, then you will have done all you can.

It’s not fair for you to take all the blame for her low mood.

Q: I think my boyfriend needs to focus on himself. Should I break up with him? We’ve been together for 3 years.

He’s depressed and desperately wants to get out of school but it doesn’t seem like he exerts his best effort. He can’t seem to motivate himself. I’ve honestly tried helping, but my efforts were often in vain. Now, I just want him to be happy and be the person he wants to be.

A: I think you’ve answered your own question. When we say someone needs to focus on themselves, we’re essentially saying “for heaven’s sake leave me in peace”! 

There’s no shame in admitting you’ve had enough you know. 

The most important thing is to end the relationship with kindness. 

If you don’t want to end it then you do need to renegotiate new terms for going forward. You clearly want some space or a bit more freedom. 

Is your boyfriend clingy, refusing to let you go anywhere alone? Is he too concerned with organising you whilst letting his own life slide? 

Only you can decide if you want to continue and what would make that a possibility for you. 

It’s time for some frank talking.

Q: He lied about his age. Should I leave him or give him another chance? I am 22 years old (female). He told me he was 33 years old. 

We have known each other for 3 months and entered into a relationship after a month. In these past couple of months, I asked him several times if he is 33 and he always said yes. Just recently, I found out from his college's online records that he is actually 38 years old. In our next meeting, I asked him if he has ever lied to me. He said no. I told him I had run a check online and showed him a printed version of his year of graduation. He tried to say that it could be that someone else had the same name as him. I then told him that I had to enter the first name, last name, and exact date of birth in order to retrieve the data. It was at this point that he was silent before asking me if an age gap of 16 instead of 11 years mattered. His defence for why he denied lying for several times? He said he was too shocked and embarrassed to admit at that instant. He then apologized for lying. Is this understandable? My trust in him has been shaken.

A: The problem here is not the age difference, it’s the repeated lying and I can quite understand why your trust in him has been shaken. 

Unfortunately in your shoes I would be wondering what else he was lying about. His reaction was pretty immature for a 38 year old. 

I do wonder though what led you to check up on him so thoroughly. You must have had a sixth sense that something wasn’t quite right. 

It sounds as if he has a major hang up about his age and needs a younger partner to shore up his rather shaky self-worth. 

For that reason alone, I’d be thinking twice - and listening to the sixth sense that led you to check up on him in the first place.

Q: My ex girlfriend invited me to her birthday after being split up for 8 months, should I go?

A: It depends on how the relationship ended. 

If it was an amicable split and you remained friends then I can’t see the harm in going. But it sounds as if she is keen to rekindle the relationship and you need to decide whether this is something you want to do - if you go you will be signalling that you are still interested in her to some extent.

Birthdays are usually loaded with emotional significance so I suspect that she wants you back. 

Or, if she has a new boyfriend she may just want to show him off in front of you to make it clear she has moved on. There may be an element of revenge there. 

You don’t say if you have a new girlfriend and whether the invite is to you alone but either way, you need to be clear what you want before you hurt her feelings and if you are happy to remain split up, the kindest thing to do will be to send her a card and wish her well for the future.

Q: I am 35 and I like a 22 year old girl. I am married but I like her very much. We talk a lot - this is how things started. What should I do?

A: Are you asking for permission to have an affair? Because it certainly sounds like it. 

At 35, you should have the maturity to recognise that being married does not mean you won’t find other girls attractive - but it is rarely worth jeopardising a happy marriage for a quick fling with a younger woman just for a boost to your ego. 

Before you do something you may regret for years to come, why don’t you talk to your wife and see if you can put the spark back in your marriage? 

That’s where your focus should be.

Q: What is the best way for a mistress to end an affair?

A: It’s quite simple in theory. Just tell him it’s over. 

The problem is that very often a mistress will want to end the relationship to force the man to choose between her and the wife. 

Having been in your shoes, I can tell you that issuing ultimatums does not work. 

I hope you have not fallen for the oldest line in the book - he loves her but he is not in love with her and of course they are not sleeping together. 

The sad truth is they most likely are and when a mistress realises this - and that the chances of him leaving are remote, she tries to end the relationship to force a resolution. 

I hope you would not be tempted to phone up his wife to land him in it - especially if children are involved. You can be sure that if you do that, he will side with her and claim you ‘meant nothing’ to him and probably beg forgiveness. 

Some women think there is a kind of status or cachet about being a mistress - but there really isn’t. 

Who wants to constantly be second fiddle or alone during holidays and Christmas? 

If you really have had enough and want him out of your life, just say thanks for the fun times but you’re looking for a meaningful relationship with someone who wants to be with you full time. 

And move on.

How would you have responded to these questions? I'd love to know. You can find more advice on my problem page.

All materials included in this post are intended for informational purposes only. This post/information is not intended to and should not be used to replace medical or psychiatric advice offered by physicians or other health care providers. The author will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages arising therefrom.

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Turbo Trax-Pro - Toy Car Fun From Idealworld.TV

Christmas is on the horizon and pencils are being sharpened to write those letters to Santa.  It's always tricky to come up with something that will hold a child's imagination for more than two seconds and I'm always on the look-out for gifts and stocking fillers that will be played with for at least a few weeks!

We recently tried a great little car set - the Turbo Trax-Pro and the Turbo Trax Bridge and Track set to add some extra excitement to the route.  The tracks also glow in the dark for a rather spooky effect.

The Turbo Trax-Pro Set - £29.99

In the main kit you get

*160 x Glow in the Dark Track
*1 x Car
*4 x Spare Car Tyres
*4 x Clip on Trees
*2 x Beams
*4 x Tiers

The track just clips together and you can create ramps with the beams supplied.  Everything just slots into place.  You will need to supply batteries for the car (2 AA batteries) but it whizzes round and is very brightly lit.  It is simply operated by a push button on the top that even the littlest fingers can use.

The way you assemble your track is up to you and there are a number of suggested variations on the box.

The Turbo Trax Bridge And Track Set - £9.99

The Turbo Track Bridge and Track contains a clip together bridge and some extra sections of track.

Caitin and Ieuan have had a lot of fun with this, although arguably it is designed for slightly younger children. The recommended age for the product is 6 years. What hooked their interest was the ability to change the design of the track - if your kids like Lego this is likely to be popular with them too.

And we can confirm that the track does indeed glow in the dark when you switch the lights off and it looks quite impressive when the little car is whizzing around.

I liked that the set comes with a bag for you to quickly disassemble the track and put it all neatly away - literally in minutes.

This was a great toy which was surprisingly versatile and kept my two entertained for far longer than I expected.



And yes, it does really roll! You can find out more at Idealworld.TV.

*We were sent a Turbo Trax-Pro and a Turbo Trax Bridge & Track Set for the purposes of this review.

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Win £200 Amazon Vouchers In The Bloggers' Santa's Surprise Giveaway

Welcome to November and the second to last month of the year! We all know that December is an expensive month and to try and help 2 of you out, I have teamed up with a fantastic team of bloggers to offer a duo of great prizes.

However before I tell you more about the prize, lets meet the bloggers:

Adventures of a Yorkshire Mum | Keep Up With The Jones Family | Sparkles at Midnight | Mother Distracted | Missing Sleep | Hubby Helps | Mums Wine HQ | Chilling With Lucas | Purely Amy | The Mighty Duxburys | Petit Moi Big World | Sally Akins | The Adventures of a Silver Surfer | My Life As A Mummy | Bump and Beyond | EmmaDrew.info

A Testing Time | Melanie's Fab Finds | Spanish Mummy | Precious Little Worlds | Life As Mum | We Made This Life | Nine to Three Thirty | Hex Mum Plus 1 | Big Family Little Adventures | The Diary of a Jewellery Lover | Kumbear XO | Cosmic Kick | Becster.com | Accidental Hipster Mum | Mummy Vs Work | Life at 139a

Charli B | Renovation Bay-Bee | Ickle Pickles Life and Travels | Tanned Beauty Addict | Life in a Break Down | UK Bloggers

The Prizes

What can you win? Well one grand prize winner will be walking away with £200 of Amazon vouchers, while a runner up will get £50.

How to enter

So how do you enter? To be in with a chance of winning all you need to do is let us know: What would you spend the vouchers on, should you be the lucky winner?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good Luck!

The prize draw opens on 1st November at 11:00 GMT and closes at 23:59 GMT on the 30th November, the competition is open worldwide, with winners outside of the UK receiving their prize via paypal funds. For full T&C please see the rafflecopter application.

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A Hobbis Family Halloween

We love Halloween and this year it was made all the more special by seeing the burning of The Wicker Man at St. Fagins (National Museum of Welsh Life) on the Sunday.

When the wicker man burns you are supposed to make a wish and the crowd were asked to scream as loudly as they could to repel evil spirits for the forthcoming year.

I love decorating the house and the kids were on red alert for trick or treaters but this year we only had 2.  I know lots of people really don't like this tradition - particularly since it can be scary for the elderly, younger children and pets but it is nice when you find fellow Halloween enthusiasts!

The Husband and kids did a great job of the pumpkins this year

Mr Bones announced he needed a holiday

The kids with my mum, Kay

Ieuan as the Grim Reaper

Caitlin as a gothic bride

I'm a zombie bride 

The kids with my parents, John and Kay.

I always think it's important to take every opportunity to celebrate the yearly events in the religious calendar or those times which were marked by rites and rituals by our Pagan forefathers.  Life goes by so fast and it's good to make some memories, isn't it?

When you're an older mum, like I am, you are very conscious of the passage of time so these times have an additional significance.

Did you celebrate Halloween?  What are the events which mean the most to you?  I'd love to know.

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Time To Take Steps To Stop Your Child's Screen Time Affecting Their Education?

Many parents will be familiar with the weekly Sunday night battle to get the kids to finish off their homework.

And how many of us secretly curse ourselves for not being stricter with the screen time that has overtaken the spare time that could have been given to homework?!

It's so easy, isn't it, to see the kids happy on their gadgets whilst we do household chores or take a little precious 'me-time' but the problem is it's like entering a vacuum.  The time just goes and it's Sunday evening again.

Gadgets are so prevalent now in our, and our children's lives that parents and teachers are starting to notice a negative effect on our kids' education.

Social media is everywhere, from Facebook to Twitter and Instagram to Snapchat and we now lead our lives by connecting with each other through our social accounts. For many of us, our phones are the first thing we check in the morning and the last thing we check at night. And our kids are picking up our bad habits.

A new study conducted by the leading voucher website in the UK, My Voucher Codes, looked into the ramifications of children living their lives on social media, specifically looking at the way social media can affect education.

In the survey, entitled "Distracted To Failure" 2,500 parents were asked a number of questions based on their children’s internet usage including how long they spend each day online, whether there are any restrictions such as banned apps and whether they think that social media sites affect their child’s education.

The survey discovered that 23% of teachers feel that children in their classes don’t get enough sleep to get the most out of at school and 75% of parents feel that mobiles, tablets and gaming devices create a negative effect on their children’s education.

The survey discovered that the majority of children are spending 2-3 hours online every day, with a staggering 34% of children spending between 3-4 hours a day online.

Here are the results to the question "how long do your children spend online on mobile or tablet devices?"

• Under 1 hour a day - 0%
• 1 to 2 hours a day - 25%
• 2 to 3 hours a day 41%
• 3 to 4 hours a day 34%
• Over 5 hours a day 0%

Much of this has been blamed on the parent’s reluctance to monitor their children’s online activity especially when it comes to social media and, in fact, 38% of parents also admitted to not monitoring their children’s online activity.

When asked ‘do you restrict their time on mobile or tablet devices?’ 42% of parents said yes, while half said no and the remaining 8% said that they didn’t need to either because their children knew the rules or stopped of their own accord.

Over a third (34%) of parents stated that they removed mobile and tablet devices while their children were studying, with 16% saying that they were thinking of doing so. Half of those polled said that they did not remove mobile phones or tablets when their children were studying.

The survey went on to ask ‘do you think using mobiles, tablets or gaming devices late at night, has a negative effect on your child’s ability to concentrate in school?’ A staggering 75% of parents admitted that they felt mobiles, tablets and gaming devices created a negative effect on their children’s ability to concentrate in school, while 25% disagreed.

When it came to the question "do you think social media sites have a negative effect on your child's education", parents were split 50/50.

Commenting on the findings Chris Reilly, Managing Director of My Voucher Codes said: “It’s interesting to see that three quarters of parents feel that mobiles, tablets and gaming devices have a negative effect on their child’s education, yet half admit that they do not restrict the time that their child spends on the internet".

I think we can all agree that monitoring your child’s internet and social media usage is now more important than ever because despite benefits such as increased communication and access to information, there is also the risk of online bullying, depression caused by online altercations and exposure to inappropriate content.

Arguably we should all be setting ground rules, checking privacy settings and monitoring what our children are sharing to ensure their safety - as well as enforcing sensible amounts of screen-free time.

In fact excessive internet usage by children is becoming such an issue that the safety of children online is currently being discussed in the House of Lords and it will be interesting to see whether pressure is brought to bear on the social media giants themselves to assist parents in managing their children's online time and increasing security.

Meanwhile, I for one, certainly need to be far stricter with my kids' screen time - and as I'm sure many bloggers would agree, my own.

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Keeping Your Pets Calm On Halloween & Bonfire Night

Already there are fireworks being let off late into the night and, with the anti-social bangs, you can hear dogs barking right across the village.

I can't understand why fireworks are still available for sale to the public given the risks to health and safety, particularly to our children and animals.

But, whilst we have to put up with it - and the late night explosions seem to start earlier every year, here are some things you can do to keep your pets calm, especially on the night itself.

And since it's Halloween on Monday night, there's the extra possible disturbance of trick or treaters ringing the door bell and setting pets howling or running for cover.

Animals have very acute hearing and loud noises can cause them real distress so here are some simple steps you could try.

As Kennel Club Secretary, Caroline Kisko says, “dogs can react very badly to the unfamiliar sights and sounds that are common around Halloween and Bonfire Night. Fireworks, people in costumes knocking on the door, flashes of light and other things that dogs would not normally experience can be terrifying for dogs and could result in them behaving unpredictably which could put their safety, or the safety of people, at risk."

Try to keep them indoors

In the days when we had Samson, my beloved old black and white moggie, we always made sure he was kept indoors and that the curtains were drawn. It was a little easier for us because Samson was an indoor cat anyway and it's obviously more difficult if your cat wants to go out for a loo break!

Walk your dog earlier in the day

For dogs, the simple solution is to walk them a little earlier in the day so that they can be safely indoors when the banging and flashing starts, or when people in scary costumes start turning up.

The Kennel Club advise dog owners to walk their dog before trick or treaters start their rounds and keep a firm grip on the lead as many dogs are frightened by people in costumes and could potentially react aggressively through fear.

Distract them

A special chew or some extra kitty biscuits might go some way to taking their mind off the din.  Obviously you don't want to feed your dog any chocolate from the Halloween sweet stash.  You might also need to keep pets' water bowls topped up as dogs in particular will drink more through the extra panting that results from being scared.

Create A Safety Zone

If you are having people around which will add to the noise and stress for your pet, you could bed them down in a separate room away from the hubbub.  The staff at Battersea Cats & Dogs Home suggest this could be something simple like a blanket draped over a table and to set this up so that your pet has a chance to get used to it before it needs to be used.

Try A Firework DVD or CD

The Kennel Club suggest that, in the run up to Bonfire Night, you could try playing a sound CD with firework noises or firework sound videos on Youtube at a low level to let your dog get used to the sound in the background.

Behave normally

Close the curtains and turn the television or radio up and try to behave as normally as possible to encourage your pet to do the same. Don't shout at your pet or tell them off - it's not their fault they're scared.

Ensure your pet is chipped or tagged

If they run off you'll have a far better chance of getting them back again if they have been micro-chipped and are wearing an ID tag.

Fix Broken Fences & Gates

Check that your pets can't escape from your garden if you have one. Fixing that broken fence before the festivities start might be a good idea just in case your pet makes a break for it.

Talk to your neighbours

Ask your neighbours if they are planning any parties or firework displays of their own.  That way at least you'll be prepared and could even relocate to somewhere quieter for the evening.

Talk to your vet

There are calming sprays and plug-ins that might help and it's always worth asking your vet for some advice.

With a little preparation you may be able to make Halloween and Bonfire Night less of an ordeal for your pets.

Do you have any tips for helping to keep pets calm?

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