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Sunday, 9 October 2016

How To Keep Your Kids Safe This Halloween

As Halloween approaches, many parents (including me) love to indulge their children by dressing them up in scary costumes, going trick or treating and hosting ghoulish Halloween parties.

But it's so easy to put your kids at risk in ways you might not even consider in the rush to make ghostly cupcakes or stock up on sweets.

The evening has a real party atmosphere now, inherited from our US cousins and we need to keep just as close an eye on our teenagers as we do our little ones.

So when I came across this infographic from fancy dress specialists Smiffys.com, I thought it well worth a share.  See what you think - and have a scary, but safe Halloween.


Halloween Safety Tips for Parents
Halloween Safety Tips From Smiffys.com
 
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Saturday, 8 October 2016

Review: A Fuss Free Way To Find The Perfect Private Tutor For Your Child At Tutora.co.uk

Many years ago I use to be an English Tutor.  I taught basic literacy and English Literature up to GCSE 'O' Level.

Finding the right tutor for your kids can sometimes be quite challenging!


An English Graduate myself, I have retained my love of classic literature and am a firm believer in the importance of kids having a good standard of written and spoken English.  If we can instill in them a love of literature too, so much the better.

As our schools get fuller and staff are not always able to give individual pupils the attention they need, hiring a tutor is an obvious solution.

You can hire a tutor for almost any subject you can think of, science, language, business but understandably maths and english are two of the most popular.



Time poor parents may struggle to know where to find the best tutor to work with their child but at Tutora.co.uk, who specialise in providing private tutors for home tuition, it is easy to locate a tutor close by and to ensure that they are fully qualified and security (DBS checked). They have over 3000 expert tutors from £15/hr and cover the major cities and surrounding areas in the UK.




Simply enter your chosen subject and your postcode and you will be presented with a list of tutors local to you with all the information you need about their qualifications, what their travel policy is (some will only travel within a set radius) and whether they are DBS checked.

You can then message them direct to book a lesson which can cost from £15 an hour upwards depending on where you live and how experienced your tutor is.

Some of the tutors already have reviews against their name which gives you an idea about the sort of person they are, however, there's no substitute for meeting your chosen tutor and seeing if they get on with your child.



When I was tutoring, I found that the most important thing was to listen to the pupil and to work out the best way to encourage them.  When you're a teenager, you often need to be listened to and to have your confidence boosted.  It was amazing how often my pupils hadn't received any positive feedback - they were only told what they had done wrong.

The other shocker was that the Shakespearean plays on the syllabus were often not read from beginning to end and never read out loud in class.  It's pretty obvious that the best way to appreciate a drama is to perform it!

Some kids will respond well to a strict tutor, some will rebel and pay no attention to them.  Others prefer someone who can use friendliness, humour and a coaching approach to get the best out of them.

The first tutor you choose may not necessarily be the right one but with Tutora there are plenty to choose from if your first choice doesn't work out.

You can also register a tutor yourself free of charge.  To get started you complete your profile, which is your chance to tell parents and students why you would be the ideal tutor for them or their child. You need to write your bio, mentioning your experience and expertise in your chosen subject and add a clear photo.



You will be asked to upload a copy of your ID - either a driving licence or passport and if you have a DBS check you can send it to Tutora to add to your profile.  If you don't have one, they can help you get one for £50.  It is not obligatory to register as a tutor with them but, as a parent, I would certainly be looking for tutors who are DBS checked.

You will also need to add your payment details and set your rate. There's a quiz for you to complete before your registration is complete. Tutora will take a commission of between 15% and 25% based on the number of sessions you have taught in the last 12 months. The higher this number, the lower the rate of commission.

Tutora.co.uk was founded by Scott Woodley and Mark Hughes.  Whilst working as a teacher in Sheffield, Scott was often asked by parents of children in his class to recommend good tutors. As I'm sure many of you know if you've tried to find a good tutor, this can take ages.

Scott joined forces with Mark, a Technology Analyst and long-time friend and the two created a website that brings parents and tutors together without having to pay large sums to tuition agencies, scour through endless message boards or worry about finding the right person for them.

I was impressed by how simple Tutora is to use and, if I weren't so busy blogging I'd be registering as an English Tutor with them.

If you're looking for the right tutor for your kids to help them get to grips with the next key stage or to cope with an increase in homework, or if GCSEs are looming,  my recommendation would be to find a tutor now.

In my English tutor days, I was often called in with 6 weeks to go before exams - that's really not enough time to build the kind of relationship you need to encourage a youngster who has had their confidence dented or to help them read through and analyse core texts.

The sooner you start the better.

You can find out more about Tutora at www.tutora.co.uk.
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Friday, 7 October 2016

We Took The Love Your Mouth Challenge With Aquafresh

We were recently asked to take the Love Your Mouth challenge from GlaxoSmithKline, who make leading toothpaste brands such as Sensodyne, Corsodyl, Poligrip and Aquafresh.



The aim of the challenge is to get people to understand that everyone's mouth is unique and will have different needs, so using specialised dental products is important.

You simply complete an online quiz, either for yourself of your kids which asks questions about your dental health - for example do you spit blood when you brush, do your teeth twinge when you sip hot drinks and do you wear a partial denture.

Depending on your answers, your recommended dental product is shown.

I completed the quiz for Caitlin and Ieuan and was recommended a brand with which we are already familiar and have used many times - Aquafresh My Big Teeth - since they are both over 6 years old.

We have used Aquafresh Milk Teeth and Aquafresh Little Teeth toothpastes too as dental hygiene is so important for good health and we have ensured that the kids have stuck to a strict teeth-cleaning regime from the moment their teeth started to appear.

We make sure that they both brush for the recommended 2 minutes each time and we were sent a sweet little 'tooth timer' to make sure they stick to this time properly.  You can also download the Love Your Mouth app which lets your kids brush a long to a song for 2 minutes.

Did you know that children's enamel is 50% thinner than an adult's? Their teeth need a little extra care to help avoid tooth decay and ensure they grow healthy and strong.

You can find some top tips about how to get your kids to look after their teeth and gums in this video.



Aquafresh My Big Teeth with Sugar Acid Protection is a gentle, foaming toothpaste specially designed for children six+ years plus. The Sugar Acid Protection helps strengthen enamel and protects not only their milk teeth from decay, but also their new adult teeth.

Aquafresh My Big Teeth comes in child friendly mint flavour. It is priced from £1.20 and available from Tesco, ASDA, Sainsbury’s, Morrison’s, Waitrose, Boots and Superdrug.

And grown-ups should make sure they avoid the 7 Oral Health Sins:-

Sin 1 - not brushing for 2 minutes
Sin 2 - using a finger nail to floss and adding lots of yucky bacteria to your mouth
Sin 3 - rinsing with water after brushing - don't wash away the fluoride protection from your toothpaste
Sin 4 - not brushing your teeth twice a day
Sin 5 - using the same toothbrush for longer than 3 months
Sin 6 - not using specialist products
Sin 7 - infrequent dental visits

Are you guilty of any of those?

For more information on the Love Your Mouth challenge go to LoveYourMouth.co.uk.

*PR samples were received for the purpose of this post.
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House of Lords Communication Committee To Examine The Safety Of Children Online

On 11th October, The House of Lords Communications Committee will examine how safe children are from the safety of children online, as part of its inquiry into the impact of the internet on children.



Representatives from the Information Commissioner’s Office and internet safety organisations will be among the witnesses.

The Committee’s investigation is looking into the risks and dangers presented to children by the internet, as well as the benefits, and also online governance and regulation.

In the first evidence session at 3.30pm the Committee will hear from Mr Mark Donkersley, Managing Director, e-Safe Systems Limited and Professor Derek McAuley, Professor of Digital Economy at Nottingham University.

Then at 4.30pm the Committee will hear from Adam Glass, partner at law firm Lewis Silkin, and Steve Wood, Deputy Commissioner at the Information Commissioner’s Office.

Questions which the Committee will ask across both sessions could include:

• What sorts of harmful behaviours are children exposed to?
• Which types are on the increase, and why?
• How well informed are children and parents?
• Do children of a particularly young age need extra protection?
• How well does filtering work?
• What role should schools play in safeguarding?
• What rights do children have with regard to the internet and the protection of their personal data?

The evidence session is open to the public. If you wish to attend you should go to Parliament’s Cromwell Green Entrance and allow time for security screening.

You can watch the session live on the internet at www.parliamentlive.tv. Sessions can also be viewed back at any time after the event and it is now possible to clip parts of evidence sessions and share them on social media and third party websites.

You can also follow the inquiry’s progress by signing up for alerts on the Committee’s webpage or following them on Twitter @UKHouseofLords.

I'll be reporting their findings on the blog when they are published but, as a parent I'd want to see some representation from the social media giants such as Facebook, Twitter and Snapchat so that their role in preventing cyberbullying and the online exploitation of children and teenagers could be examined.

Having a recommended age for using providers such as Facebook does nothing to prevent underage children accessing it and it is time, in my view, for social media to take more responsiblity for the protection of its users.

The findings of the Committee are going to be very interesting.
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New Releases, Free & Bargain Books Link-up Week 40



How are you all this week?  It's getting colder now so we're unearthing our warm winter coats and preparing to freeze on the school run!

On the plus side,the pre-Christmas buzz is beginning and, even though it is a little too early, I can't resist starting to plan our decorations and what we're going to have for Christmas dinner.

I've been reading a fabulous book about using mediation to solve disputes between pet owners called "Nipped In The Bud, Not In The Butt" by lawyer Debra Vey Voda-Hamilton (review to follow shortly).  Did you know that divorce proceedings often grind to a halt completely when warring spouses start to sort out custody of their animals?

Debra explains some useful mediation techniques which I reckon would even work on my kids!  Look out for my review on the 9th October - and there's a giveaway.

Happy bargain and freebie hunting on this link.

Have a great week!

Sharing the Love of Books
Enjoy our selection of New Releases / Free & Bargain Books this week

Authors please feel free to add your own books
Readers please free to add your own finds
(any genre except erotica welcome)

This weekly link up is hosted by Beck Valley Books & these awesome book loving blogs...
Monday
 Life as Leels | IrishdaisylovesRomance | Book Babble | All Romance Reader
Tuesday
It's My Side of Life | Celticlady's Reviews | First Time Mommy Adventures 
Wednesday
Beck Valley BooksCinnamon Hollow Reviews
Thursday
Miki's Hope | Nicki's Nook
Friday
Ebook Addicts | I Love Romance | Mother Distracted | Colorimetry | The Ultimate Fan Blog
Saturday
Totally Addicted to Reading | 3 Partners in Shopping | Angie's Angle I Create Purty Thangs | Wishful Endings
Sunday
Lynchburg Mama | LibriAmoriMieiAli - The Dragon Slayer | Wondermom WannabeDeal Sharing Aunt | Rambling Reviews 


For Pre-orders post - PRE-ORDER / genre / title /author
For New Releases post - NEW / genre / title / author
For Free Books post - FREE / genre / title / author / end date 
For Bargain Books post - SALE / price / genre / title / author / end date
(Strictly no Erotica please.  Steamy romance is fine but watch those covers people, incase any underage child is viewing it!)

Click here for this weeks awesome selection!
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Thursday, 6 October 2016

Relationship Dilemmas - What Was I Asked In Week 40?

This week I'm talking about keeping your older boyfriend a secret, dealing with 'psycho girls' and telling a friend her child is too badly behaved for your child to play with.  What would you do?

If you would like any advice, feel free to message me or pop a comment in the comment box at the end of this post. I promise to be gentle.



Here's just some of the questions I've been asked this week.

Q: Should I tell my parents about my older boyfriend?  I'm 16, he's 22.


A: It depends how old you are. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that if you are below the age of sexual consent in your country then your boyfriend could end up in a lot of trouble - and so could you if you are not using contraception. 

As a mother, I would want to know about your boyfriend. The fact that you are unsure whether to tell them tells me that there is something about this relationship that they will disapprove of. 

When we are young women, it is easy to fall for a charming older man but they are not always who they seem to be. Sexual predators can be very charming indeed. Men (and women) are not always who they seem to be. 

If you are mature but worry about an age gap relationship then, assuming everything is OK, then at that stage, it is your business and if you choose to continue with the relationship you may have to make a choice between your boyfriend and your parents. 

But I wonder why you feel you can’t tell them and even introduce him to them. For your peace of mind (and safety), that is what I would urge you to do. 

And if he’s a decent man, he should be telling you the same thing. 

Q: How can my boyfriend get rid of a 'psycho' girl?


A: I’m guessing you are very young. And rather jealous. 

I’m also assuming that the ‘psycho’ girl has a thing for your boyfriend and is chasing him. 

The person who needs to sort this out is your boyfriend. It’s very common in this situation to focus on the other woman, whilst the man gets off free whilst the women fight. Is this girl an ex girlfriend?

I can sense that you are feeling very threatened but getting bitchy and demanding won’t help. Has your boyfriend been encouraging this girl? 

Sometimes we choose to ignore what is going on right under our nose. Tell him to ‘shape up or ship out’. 


Q: Is chatting with strangers on the internet bad if you already have a girlfriend or boyfriend?


A: Not bad but it can be dangerous. Do you mean general chat or sexual chat? 

You don’t say how old you are but I’m guessing you are quite young. 

I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that it is often impossible to know who you are talking to on the internet. 

If you need to do this despite having a partner I would suggest that the relationship is pretty unfulfilling and it would be fairer to them to let them go and wait until you are ready to commit to a relationship in the real world - rather than a fantasy one in cyberspace.

Q: When children are not disciplined (or guided) and not held accountable for their actions does that cause emotional problems? 


A: Emotional problems for whom? 

As parents having to constantly deal with an out of control child is exhausting. I believe children actually need boundaries in order for them to feel love. They need to know their place in the family and how far they can go. 

They test our love all the time to see if it will break. 

So I agree with you that an over liberal parenting style can result in a child who, paradoxically, feels unloved. 

If nothing you do ever makes a difference would you feel like you mattered? 

And if we don’t set boundaries for our kids whilst they are under our care and guidance, what will happen to them when they enter the world of work and find that they are expected to toe the line and act like mature, responsible adults. 

Everyone’s parenting style is different. Every kids is different. But I think we should be parents first and friends second.


Q: My boyfriend just told me he thinks about his ex every day and wishes he could go back and change his mistakes that made her leave. How do I even reply?


A: I really feel for you. That must have been so hard to hear but the only way to view it is that he has done you a favour but letting you know that his heart is not really in your relationship. It is obviously his guilt talking and I wonder what the ‘mistakes’ were that made her leave. 

If he was unkind or controlling then I think you have just had (no matter how awful it feels like now), a lucky break. 

There is also something a little controlling in the fact that he is making YOU responsible for his upset rather than manning up and dealing with the consequences himself. He sounds very immature. 

I would suggest that you separate for a while so that he can get clear in his head who it is he really wants to be with. 

We always want what we can’t have and it’s the idea that he can’t have his ex back that’s making her seem so attractive. 

In reality, if they got back together the same problems would be there. And I’m wondering if these same problems are already in your relationship. 

But he’s an adult. You are not responsible for him and you DO deserve someone who wants a relationship with you. 

I suspect most women’s advice to you would be “show him the door”.


Q: How do you tell a friend that you don't want your 7 year old children to be friends because of their child's behavior issues?


A: I don’t think you can if you want to keep her friendship. 

Could you find a way for your children to play together under supervision with you and your friend and make her aware of when her child’s behaviour is unacceptable. 

You don’t say what the ‘behaviour issues’ are. It would be very hard on your friend to abandon her if, for example, her child is autistic or has a problem like ADHD. She needs your support, not your censure. 

If her child is just exhibiting bratty behaviour and bullying your child then you either have to tell her straight out or see less of her. Your child’s health and safety has to come first. 

But 7 year olds are ALL capable of bratty behaviour and their friendships go from best friend status to all out hatred in a heartbeat - and back again the next day. 

Are you sure YOUR child is a little angel? Could they be contributing to the behaviour in some way. 

Can you not sit down with your friend over coffee and tell her openly that you have noticed her child behaves in these ways and is there a reason why? She may confide in you and tell you that she knows but needs help dealing with it. 

 Makes sure you’re not about to jettison a nice friendship due to a couple of 7 year olds’ stroppy - and entirely normal - behaviour. 

How would you have responded to these questions? You can find more advice on my problem page.

All materials included in this post are intended for informational purposes only. This post/information is not intended to and should not be used to replace medical or psychiatric advice offered by physicians or other health care providers. The author will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages arising therefrom.

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Wednesday, 5 October 2016

Children's Book Review: Message In A Bottle By Tom Percival & Tuire Siiriainen

I have been privileged to be a member of the launch team for this lovely personalised book for children and it's been a real eye opener to discover exactly how much work goes in to writing, designing and producing a story like this.


Personalised children's books seem to be all the rage at present and readers of this blog may recall my recent review of The Little Boy Who Lost His Name.

This book, with words by Tom Percival and illustrations by Tuire Siiriainen is different because it combines the personalisation with an educational element and is complemented by an online kids club.

Message In A Bottle tells the story of little bird Kiki, a Scarlet Hawaiian Honeycreeper  who wants to explore the world and gets her chance when she finds a message in a bottle washed up on the shore.

This message is where the personalisation comes in.  Parents, grandparents or any other gift giver can send a personalised message in the bottle which is revealed towards the end of the story.

Even cleverer, by entering your child's name and address, these details are shared at certain points in the story so that you feel Kiki is really sending a special message direct to your child.  The rolled up message has your child's name and address on it and they are referred to by name in the story.

On her journey, Kiki meets a number of other animals who help her to track down the bottle's destination, and some are more of a hindrance than a help.  Will she get the bottle and its message to the right owner?

Some of these animals are easy to recognise but one of the great points about this book is that it introduces you to new species that your child may not have learned about - for example the Plover and the Sailfish.

The team at Blueberry & Pie, (the publishers) has worked closely with Szymek Drobniak, Ph.D. of evolutionary biology to ensure that the zoological and geographical facts are accurate and true. Dr Drobniak also helped to create content for Kiki’s Kids Club.

Not only that but the route of the journey is accurate as well with the story being specifically designed to start in Hawaii and end in Europe with the animals on the way geographically true to their locations.

At Kiki's Kids Club online your child can learn more about the animals in the story by clicking on an interactive map which takes them to the right continent and ex;plains a little more about the creatures who appear.

For example, by clicking on Europe you can learn more about the Long-Eared Owl and in North America you can learn about the Grizzly Bear.  In total you can learn about 14 animal species, the same number that appears in the story.

There is also a quiz, a monthly poll and printable colouring sheets to download.

The book is beautifully produced with warm, bright illustrations and the story is long enough to keep a child interested.  I would say that the ideal age range for this book is up to around 7 years old.

Message In A Bottle is ordered on line via a simple process.


You simply add the child's name, address and then your message.  There is even a selection of templates for you to choose from to help you write your note.

We chose a message to help Caitlin face her fears and stay brave in the face of a challenge. She loved this and was even more impressed because her photograph was printed on the page (simply upload when you order).

In fact, the whole 'message' of the story is to be brave, take a risk and you'll find people (or animals!) to help you get to where you want to go - a pretty good motto for life in general.

You can the preview the book to check that you're happy that the details are correct and then check out and pay in the usual manner.

The book, which is printed in the UK, costs £19.95 with free shipping.

I think it would make a lovely, thoughtful gift for Christmas.

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