Mother Distracted

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

Start Now To Help Your Child Grow Up Healthy

It’s normal for parents to want the best for their children. After all, you want to ensure your child grows up to be a happy and healthy adult.

But it’s easy for parents to make vital mistakes when it comes to health when their child is young. Therefore, here are some steps to take so that your child is healthier when they are an adult.

Image Credit: Pixabay

Take control of their diet now

It’s so easy to fall into bad habits when it comes to your kids. They want to eat sugary snacks after school, and it's easy to give in to crisps and chocolate. You might be surprised to know recent government reports found that 1 in 3 UK kids are overweight by the time they reach the age of 11 so it’s more important than ever to try and limit their intake of high fat and sugary foods while they are young.

Try to find healthier snacks for your kids. Encourage them to eat carrot sticks with hummus and fruit with yoghurt, rather than heading for the crisps. Also, you need to make healthy dinners that you can eat as a family. If you are all eating the same meal, your children hopefully won’t moan as much about the lack of chicken nuggets and chips!

Image Credit: Pexels

Let them cook with you

A lot of the reason why people fall into unhealthy territory with foods is that they don’t actually know how to cook healthy dishes. It leads to people just sticking in an unhealthy ready meal into the oven! Therefore, you need to try and implement cooking skills into your kids as young as possible. That way, they will be able to cook and make healthy dishes when they are older. And as this article says, involving your kids in the cooking and preparation will mean they are more likely to eat fruit and vegetables.

Image credit: Pixabay

Make them brush their teeth daily

It’s an unfortunate fact that a lot of people in the UK have bad dental health. They end up having teeth removed sooner rather than later. A lot of the reason is down to us not brushing our teeth enough. You can read in my previous blog post that 40% of us don’t even brush our teeth once a day!

By not brushing, plaque builds up, and people end up needing fillings and cheap dental implants to cover the imperfections. Therefore, you need to encourage your kids to brush their teeth every day. Also, make sure they attend their dental appointments every year. You should also be limiting their fizzy drink intake as this will cause long-term damage to your teeth.

Encourage them to exercise daily

You might not realise that only one in three kids is actually getting enough physical exercise every day. Instead of getting outside and being active, a lot of kids prefer to sit inside on their tablets, computers, and phones. But by doing this, they are more at risk of obesity and heart problems when they are older. Therefore, sign them up for an energetic class in the evening such as gymnastics or martial arts. By doing this, it will ensure they are getting regular exercise in their life.

Image Source

Remember that parents are one of the biggest influences in their children’s lives. So you need to lead by example and follow the above so that your children are inspired to follows suit.

74% Motorists Fear Being Ripped off by Garages - Can You Trust Yours?

We've been pretty lucky with our cars so far. The Husband has an 8 year old Beemer and I have my beloved and equally old Skoda Roomster.

In the absence of much mechanical knowledge and having an inherent distrust of garages, we tend to stick to where we know (i.e. the local dealerships). Whilst the service is reliable, the price is reliably higher than some of the smaller independent garages.

But how do you know who to trust. We've all heard the horror stories about parts not being replaced, or replaced with second-hand bits. Then there are the tales of oil not changed or topped up, brakes not checked and unnecessary repairs undertaken to make a quick buck.

Let's be honest - when the car is in for its service or MOT, everyone dreads that phone call from the mechanic where they start listing everything that needs to be fixed.

How do you know if they are telling the truth?

74% of respondents to a survey of 1,000 car owners, by BookMyGarage.com, an online booking directory of UK garages, stated that either hidden costs or being oversold were their main worries when using a garage.

Depending on where we live, mind you, we seem to be more or less relaxed about being ripped off

The survey found that those in the North East feared being oversold the most, with 74% of respondents stating this as a concern. Northern Irish respondents fretted the least about being oversold, with just 22% stating this as a worry.

People living in North West appear to be the most worried most about hidden costs, with 43% of those surveyed indicating that this was an issue for them. However, only 22% of Welsh respondents said that the chance of garages hitting them with hidden costs was a major concern.

I am not one of the 22%!

As Karen Rotberg, director of BookMyGarage.com, says: “Our survey shows that garages have a long way still to go to build trust with their customers. As cars become more complicated, due to new technologies, many motorists don’t always know what maintenance their cars need and feel that mechanics take advantage of this lack of knowledge.”

“This is why we launched BookMyGarage.com. By being able to compare prices of local garages and see genuine customer reviews, garages and customers can start to trust each other again.”

What customers want from their garages?

• 53% of the UK population uses a preferred garage because they trust them to resolve the issue or because they have used the same garage for years

• Only 3% of the UK population selects its garage because it is a well-known brand

• Only 9% fear poor customer service when booking a garage, which suggests that financial issues, rather than customer care concerns, are at the front of customers’ minds

• 51% of respondents book a car service by phone with 31% doing so in person. Only 18% book a car service online

• Reputation is the key deciding factor when choosing a new garage, according to 54% of the UK sample.

BookMyGarage.com is a nifty website which gives you a list of garages according to your postcode, together with the services they offer.

Just by popping in my postcode I'm told there are 66 garages near me and the date of my MOT renewal. There's a map of their location and I can compare three garages side by side. I can then book online and there is a contact number which allows me to talk to an expert mechanic.

Some of the garages already have customer reviews available to read which is just what you want to have to hand.

Certainly worth a look if you have the dreaded MOT or service approaching.

Because some of our family members have had a squint, both Caitlin and Ieuan were taken to the optician at a very early age because we were advised that the sooner child vision problems are sorted out, the better.

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Luckily everything was fine but, because both Mat and I wear glasses, we are keeping a watchful eye (if you'll pardon the pun) on our two's sight.

This week is National Eye Health Week (19 – 25 September 2016) which aims to raise awareness of the importance of good eye health and the need for regular sight tests for all.

New figures released by National Eye Health Week and Boots Opticians show that more than 1.6 Million school–aged children in England could be living with an undiagnosed vision problem that impacts on their educational and social development.

And, a study by a team of UK academics published in the British Medical Journal found that children with reduced visual acuity had significantly lower literacy development.

Poor Vision In Children

Poor vision in younger children is often due to the presence of Amblyopia (lazy eye) – a developmental disorder that leads to reduced vision.

The human eye continues to develop until we reach about eight years of age giving just a small window of time where good vision can be restored through early detection and treatment.

Unfortunately, there are few signs and symptoms to observe so detection is very difficult for parents, carers and teachers.

David Cartwright, Chairman of National Eye Health Week advises “As a child’s eyesight is usually fully developed by the age of eight, regular sight tests, every two years unless advised otherwise by your optometrist, are crucial. Sight tests for all children in the UK are free and funded by the NHS – the only investment parents have to make is time.

Conditions such as squint or amblyopia can lead to lifelong problems so it really is a case of ‘After Eight is too Late’. If detected early amblyopia and squint can often be corrected and other visual problems such as childhood myopia can be managed effectively, yet, fifty per cent of parents with children aged eight and under have never taken their child for a sight test.”

Levels of Myopia (short-sight), which typically occurs in childhood between the ages of six and 13, have more than doubled over the last 50 years and currently affect around a fifth of all teenagers in the UK.

Tell-tale Signs Your Child Is Struggling With Their Vision

It's often difficult to tell if your child is having problems with their eyes but some tell-tale signs that there could be something wrong include struggling to recognise colours and shapes; frequently bumping into things; not showing any interest in learning to read; not progressing or being disengaged at school; complaining about headaches and sitting very close to the TV.

You may also recognise some physical signs, including:

• Rubbing eyes frequently
• Squinting, head-tilting or closing one eye when trying to focus
• One eye turning in or out
• Blinking a lot
• Excessive tearing
• Red, sore or encrusted eye lids

A New Guide To Help Care For Your Child's Eyes

Working with Boots Opticians, National Eye Health Week is launching a guide to help care for your child's eyes.

This digital resource includes seven ways to help keep kids’ eyes healthy, tell-tale signs your child could be struggling with their vision and common childhood eye conditions explained.

There are also links to resources such as the Boots Opticians eye check story book, Zookeeper Zoe which contains a range of interactive eye check activities to help parents and carers understand if their child might need support with their vision.

For more information visit www.visionmatters.org.uk/children or to share Zookeeper Zoe’s adventures visit www.zookeeperzoe.co.uk.

Bleurgh! Win Gross Magic From Drumond Park Games

As we all know, despite trying very hard to monitor the appearance of all things gross and bottom-related, there's nothing kids enjoy more, with the exception of making their friends and family even more disgusted.

I've 2 sets of Gross Magic to give away

Gross Magic by Drumond Park is a highly entertaining magic set with a difference - it's best not attempted on a full stomach. It's a set of props to help kids carry out 39 funny magic tricks involving poo, cockroaches, veins, loose teeth and all manner of yuk guaranteed to create shouts of "yuk!".

The set comes with an informative guide to help kids carry out the tricks. Gross Magic is aimed at kids over 8 and even so, some of the tricks will need an adult to explain how to carry them out. There are a number of small parts in the kit which definitely makes it unsuitable for younger kids - for example dummy teeth and cockroaches!

Contents of Gross Magic Set Inside The Box

The Contents Of The Magic Set

The tricks are split into groups according to the props they use - a dustbin, sponge bogies, veins, bogie paddles and other accessories like the cube and the telepathic brain.

Of the 39 tricks in the instruction booklet, 31 of them need the Gross Magic props but the remaining 8 can be carried out without them using things you may have in the house. The one I like most is pretending you have a toothache and then spitting out tic-tac mints to pretend you've lost your pearly whites!

Or, even more revolting, pretend your eye has burst with the aid of one of those little sealed pots of milk some cafes give you for your tea. I won't break a magician's confidence but you can probably guess how it's done.

Gross Magic was just the right level for Caitlin (nearly 9) but there was plenty to keep Ieuan (7) happy - including some disgusting brown slim and pretend veins.

The instruction booklet has some great tips for aspiring magicians (don't tell everyone how it's done) so that the tricks can be carried out as professionally as possible.

And with Halloween coming up, Drumond Park's Gross Magic would be ideal to kick off the party games - adults will enjoy it too - or if you've the stomach for it, the set would certainly make a change from charades at your Christmas party.

I think I may use the Tic Tac trick anyway.

Gross Magic costs around £19.99 and is available from Argos, Tesco, Amazon and major toy stores.

Ieuan doing the vein trick from Gross Magic

Ieuan pulling out his veins

If you want your Halloween to be even more revolting than usual, I have TWO copies of Gross Magic to give away to two lucky winners. Entry is via the Rafflecopter widget below. UK entrants only and as mentioned above Gross Magic is suitable for children 8+.

The giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Sunday 16th October 2016. Terms and conditions apply and are on my Competitions page.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck!

Relationship Dilemmas - What Was I Asked In Week 37?

After a refreshing summer break, Relationship Dilemmas is back. As usual, the questions I am asked can be about any aspect of relationships, and sometimes parenting and health.

If you would like any advice, feel free to message me or pop a comment in the comment box at the end of this post. I promise to be gentle.

Here's just some of the questions I've been asked this week.

Q: How do I tell my kids sorry for not being a strong mom after a divorce? They lived with their dad from ages 13 to 18.

A: I think it’s natural for most people to feel guilty after a divorce - or at least a sense of failure - whether they were the person who left or the one who stayed.

If your kids are happy, well-adjusted individuals who are doing OK at school and have friends then don’t worry too much. The most important thing is that they know they are loved equally by both their parents.

My kids are 8 and 7 and have school friends whose parents have split or are in the process of splitting up.

All we can do is explain that we are all human, nobody is perfect and that relationships are not always carved in stone.

I don’t think we are doing are kids a favour by pretending that the traditional nuclear family is a lasting solution to happiness, nor by hiding the fact that as mothers we are not infallible. Mothers are women first, aren’t they?

Why don’t you take the kids out for a burger and just have a general chat about how they feel about things and ask them if they have any questions you can answer for them. I think that’s a better approach than saying “I was a terrible mother, don’t hate me”.

You may find that lots of these worries are in your head.

I think you may benefit from talking to a good friend about your feelings or perhaps a little counselling?

Good luck.

Q: Why can't I feel romantic love or excitement?

A: The off-the-cuff answer would be because you haven’t found that special someone or thing that will truly excite you.

The more serious answer is that, when we feel like this, sometimes we are suffering from anxiety or depression. It’s not for nothing that depression is called the “black dog” because it follows us about sucking the joy out of everything.

There is insufficient information in your question to give you a clear answer but I would also suggestion that you can’t force romance or excitement.

It’ll happen when the time is right and when you aren’t looking for it.

If you are feeling down and unhappy I’d suggest you talk to somebody about your feelings, perhaps your GP.

Sooner or later the clouds will lift, I promise you.

Q: Is there such a thing as not being ready for a relationship?

A: You don’t say how old you are so I’m wondering if your question is really “when will I find someone”

Otherwise, I’d say you don’t have to be in a relationship.

Some people are happier on their own, doing their own thing and if someone comes along they want to spend time with, great. If not, well, no problem.

The problem comes when we feel others judge us for not being in a relationship. And those who judge the most, by the way, are usually looking to distract themselves from their own less than sucessful relationships!

Ultimately, it’s your choice. It’s not about “being ready”. It’s about finding someone who is a great friend with that added romantic spark.

I would spend time with friends, meeting as many people as you feel inclined to and developing your interests.

You may just find a relationship turns up without you even needing to be “ready”.

Q: Do I have to help my broke parents?

A: You don’t say why your parents are broke or whether this is a sudden turn of events but I think most sons and daughters would feel morally and emotionally obliged to try to help out in some way.

Of course, if you have a poor relationship with them or they have been cruel or abusive then, understandably, I can quite understand why you would feel wholly justified in walking away.

If you do have a good relationship with them then a sensible first step is to sit down with them and understand their exact financial position, the amount of their debts and how soon these must be paid off.

In the UK, for example, 3 defaults on a mortgage payment may lead, as I understand it, to having your property repossessed.

Could you sort out a debt counsellor for them? Or help them make an appointment to talk to their bank or other lenders? Is this debt something that is continuing to rack up? Are there, for example, gambling problems?

I think, rather than wading in with a cheque book, the situation needs a clear, logical analysis and it is likely that it may take a professional to sort it out.

If you cannot afford to help then you are perfectly reasonable if you explain this to them but are there non-financial ways you could help tide them over? Cooking meals, driving them places, helping with some DIY, finding some books on budgeting and financial planning?

The most helpful thing you can do for your parents is to show them how they can get their finances back in order so that debt is reduced and does not mount up.

There’s no point throwing money at a problem if it is only a short term solution - unless of course there is a risk to their health and security which needs immediate action.

Q: What are the advantages and disadvantages of dating a man who has 4 children under the age of 5 and we are both in our 20's and I don't have children?

We have been dating for 2 years and I'm helping him with his 3 kids. We have discussed marriage. He’s a loving dad & hard working. I'm fond of his 3 kids. We're in love. Our issues are his family & ties to his exes. He found out that while separated from ex he got a friend pregnant. He's done a Paternity Test and has another 4 year old.

My boyfriend’s older sister (single parent of two children) lives with him (rent free) and watches his kids while he works. He pays her. His older brother also lives with him (rent free) because he's been down on his luck lately. He has an older sister that is married with kids that got overprotective and confrontational with me because sometimes I watched the kids and she was “concerned”. She never apologized for calling me up and being rude to me.

I'm 25 years old and although my parents aren't trying to stop me from dating him, they have asked me to move out (and test out living with my boyfriend). I'm hurt that they are pushing me out. [question edited due to length...]

A: This man seems to have had an incredibly chequered romantic history and a rather cavalier attitude to contraception.

I’m afraid I can quite understand why your parents aren’t too keen on him. Are you sure there aren’t more kids dotted about somewhere that he hasn’t told you about?

Unfortunately, the kids are part of the package and I think there’s a chance you will end up taking over responsibility from his sister without the payment!

I know you say you’re ‘in love’ but this man seems to have been in and out of relationships an awful lot.

It’s all very well for him to say that he is going to “step up and be a dad” but what about the mothers involved in all this? By default he will always have a relationship with them - and so will you.

It also sounds like his family are very much a part of the package and it looks like the older sister views you as another one in a pretty long line - hence her confrontational attitude to you.

This man seems to have created quite a bit of havoc and is happy for his family to mop up the mess.

In your shoes I would think very carefully indeed about what a future with him, his family and his copious kids would look like. 25 is very young to be saddled with all that.

Q: I separated from my husband two months ago and now I want him back.

A: In the absence of any explanation about what happened, all I can say is “it depends”.

Who instigated the separation? Was one of you unfaithful? Or unkind? Or abusive? How long had you been married?

Nobody can wave a magic wand and tell you it will all be OK.

First you need to tell your partner how you feel and see if he is willing to talk.

As you say you are separated, have either of you started divorce proceedings? In the UK, a good course of action is to consider relationship counselling with a professional organisation such as Relate, or mediation via your solicitors if things have gone that far.

You don’t say whether you have children, but if you do their happiness and security should come first.

Whatever your situation, you have taken the first step of being honest about how you feel.

Talk to your husband and see if there is a way forward - but be aware that the best outcome you may reach is friendship, rather than a rekindling of your original relationship.

If either of you were unfaithful, then the affair needs to be over and the extra person out of the picture completely if you are to give your relationship another shot.

Q: My boyfriend wants a break from our relationship, I am trying hard to be respectful of his space. What are things I can do to lessen my anxiety?

We have been fighting more and he is starting to feel depressive. He agreed to take a break instead of break up. It left me anxious, I’m trying to control the want to call/text/go see him. It is getting really hard, the chest pain is worsening and the panic attacks more frequent.

A: Your health comes first. Please see a doctor and explain about your panic attacks and the chest pains.

Do you have any friends and family you can talk to for support?

This relationship does not sound very healthy and when we say we are “trying to be respectful of someone’s space”, often it means we are letting them do exactly what they want to hold on to them.

If your boyfriend suffers from depression then he should seek help too, but it is unfair to blame you for it.

You don’t say what you have been fighting about but your relationship sounds as if it is a co-dependent one - with each of you supporting the other in really unhealthy ways of relating and behaving.

That’s no way to live.

I understand the urge to call and text and sit outside his house but these behaviours are more likely to drive him away.

The only way to make someone miss us is not to be there.

And it’s only by staying away for a while that you will give him a chance to decide whether he wants to be in a relationship with you.

But why are you happy for him to have things all his way?

Rather than obsess and panic, try to build your self confidence and self worth. You really DON’T need to chase after a man who shows no sign of wanting you.

You are worth more than that.

And because you are worth more than that, you don’t need to panic.

It’s time to get angry and strong.

Get yourself checked out by your doctor, read some self help books or some biographies of strong women and go and enjoy yourself for a bit.

Then, if your boyfriend does want to come back you will be in a much better place to handle the relationship - and indeed to decide whether you want HIM back.

How would you have responded to these questions? You can find more advice on my problem page.

All materials included in this post are intended for informational purposes only. This post/information is not intended to and should not be used to replace medical or psychiatric advice offered by physicians or other health care providers. The author will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages arising therefrom.

Getting Your Kids Ready For University: Here's How You Can Help

Now that all the kids are back at school, university students will be going back to their studies within the next month or so. Do you have a child who is going off to uni for the very first time? They might be quite apprehensive about the whole thing.

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One thing is for sure, though; they will certainly be extremely excited! If they aren’t all prepared for moving to university, it is probably time that you gave them a helping hand. Not sure how you can help? Here are my top tips.

Explain How To Budget

It is extremely important that your child knows how to budget properly once they go off to university. It could be their first time being completely independent of you. And without anyone to help them with their money, they could end up blowing it far too quickly! So it will certainly pay off if you sit down with them and talk to them about the importance of budgeting. Make sure that they reserve enough money for rent each month. And they should think about how much they need for food, and set this aside. Explain that they now need to be sensible with their money. Otherwise, they might not have enough to last them until their student loan is paid into their bank account!

Teach Them To Cook

There is one way to make sure your child doesn’t survive off expensive and unhealthy takeaways at university. Offer them cooking lessons! If your child already helps out in the kitchen, then you might not have to spend too long teaching them some important tips. However, if you child doesn’t cook much, you may have to spend some time ensuring that they know the basics. Make sure that they know which basic ingredients they should always have in their kitchens, and the simple meals they can cook with them. Why not get them a student cookbook as a leaving gift?

Help Them Move

If your child is going to a university quite far away from home, it is a nice idea to help them move. After all, they may not be able to take their car to uni for the first year while they are in halls. You can pack up most of their belongings into your car. For any bulky items, think about using a special courier service such as shiply. If the drive is going to be a long one, you could spend the night over somewhere. Enjoy some final time together before they enter the big world of university!

Chat To Them

If your child is nervous about university, it could help to have a quick chat to them about how they are feeling. This can help to settle their nerves. It could also help to explain about your own experiences at university. They might be working themselves up about little things such as the laundry. Be sure to talk to them well in advance so that they don’t get too worried and anxious.

Hopefully, you will be able to give them plenty of support in the run up to uni!

How are you all this week? We're back in the old routine now and, to cheer ourselves up, we're planning our next summer holiday. I can't believe it's over again already, can you?

Luckily I can lose myself in a good book or two. I've just finished the fabulous Late For Fate by Lori M. Jones (and there's a lovely little giveaway too).

If you enjoy romantic thrillers, I recommend this one.

I'd love to know what you're reading. Feel free to pop a comment below.

As ever, there are some great books to choose from on this week's linky.

Sharing the Love of Books
Enjoy our selection of New Releases / Free & Bargain Books this week

Authors please feel free to add your own books
Readers please free to add your own finds
(any genre except erotica welcome)

This weekly link up is hosted by Beck Valley Books & these awesome book loving blogs...
Monday
Life as Leels | IrishdaisylovesRomance | Book Babble | All Romance Reader
Tuesday
It's My Side of Life | Celticlady's Reviews | First Time Mommy Adventures
Wednesday
Beck Valley Books | Cinnamon Hollow Reviews
Thursday
Miki's Hope | Nicki's Nook
Friday
Ebook Addicts | I Love Romance | Mother Distracted | Colorimetry | The Ultimate Fan Blog
Saturday
Totally Addicted to Reading | 3 Partners in Shopping | Angie's Angle | I Create Purty Thangs | Wishful Endings
Sunday
Lynchburg Mama | LibriAmoriMiei | Ali - The Dragon Slayer | Wondermom Wannabe | Deal Sharing Aunt | Rambling Reviews

For Pre-orders post - PRE-ORDER / genre / title /author

For New Releases post - NEW / genre / title / author

For Free Books post - FREE / genre / title / author / end date

For Bargain Books post - SALE / price / genre / title / author / end date
(Strictly no Erotica please. Steamy romance is fine but watch those covers people, incase any underage child is viewing it!)

Click here for this weeks awesome selection!

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