Celebrating Roald Dahl Day

Today is the 100 year anniversary of the birth of beloved children's author Roald Dahl and it is Roald Dahl Day in his honour. We have a special fondness for him here in Cardiff, of course, as it is his birthplace (Llandaff).

Ieuan as Willy Wonka

Our local schools are celebrating by allowing the kids to go as their favourite Dahl character and even the staff are getting into the act.

"If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." - Roald Dahl

So which Roald Dahl character would you be?

Willy Wonka - Charlie & The Chocolate Factory
Miss Trunchbull - Matilda
The BFG - The Big Friendly Giant
The Twits
Mr Fox - Fantastic Mr Fox?

Caitlin as Matilda

“Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog.” - Matilda

For me, the outright winners are the Oompa Loompas and possibly Mike TV, a great warning to our screen-obsessed kids that there are consequences to too much TV watching.

“So please, oh please, we beg, we pray Go throw your TV set away And in its place you can install A lovely bookshelf on the wall…” - The Oompa Loompas

A sentiment which should surely be echoed around all our schools today.

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My Sunday Photo - Penarth - 11/09/2016

We are so lucky to live where we do, in Dinas Powys, just outside Cardiff.  We are never far from the countryside or the sea and a quick car ride takes us away, both physically and mentally from the stresses of the week.

Yesterday it was such a beautiful evening that, rather than waste the entire day on ballet and shopping, we went to Penarth for a wander on the beach then fish and chips and ice cream at the little cafe next to the pier.

I can heartily recommend the Lemon Meringue Ice Cream.

We found plenty of shells but little of Caitlin's current passion, sea glass.  There are bags of shells all over the house now and we need to decide what we're going to do with them!

Still, despite only finding one or two tiny pieces of green glass, a double ice cream made up for any disappointment.

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Feeling Too Mumsy? Fashion Tips For Mums

It’s quite common for ladies who have had babies to begin feeling ‘mumsy’ after a while. In some cases, they feel out of touch with themselves. They forget who they were before they had a baby! They also want to wear clothes that keep them as comfortable as possible, and this sometimes mean sacrificing style. You don’t need to worry about this anymore. These fashion tips for mums will help you!

Image Credit

Invest In Some Awesome Shapewear

If you’re self conscious of your body after having a baby, invest in some awesome shapewear. You can wear this under anything, from your going out dresses to your casual wear. If you really invest in a good brand, it should be comfortable enough to wear whenever you like. It’ll smooth you out in the right places and help you to feel more confident. When you look for things like Debenhams offers and coupons, you don’t have to spend a fortune.

Define Your Personality And Buy To Suit It

If you want to get your style back and stop dressing like a ‘mum’, define your personality. Maybe your personality has changed a little from when you were younger. That’s fine! Just work out what it is. Are you a bubbly lady with a love of pink and cute animals? Then buy a pink jumper with a bunny on it. Obviously that won’t be everybody’s ‘thing’, but you’ll be much happier when you wear clothes that suit your personality.

Consider Your Lifestyle

Not only do you need to consider your personality, but your lifestyle too. If you spend most of your time out of the house, then you’ll want durable clothing that will keep you comfortable. If you’re in the house a lot, it doesn’t make sense buying a ton of pretty dresses!

Know Your Body Shape

If you want to feel your best, knowing your body shape and dressing for it can make you feel amazing. You could show off more of your waist with dresses that flatter your figure, for example. There are plenty of guides on this online. However, you should know that if you like something, you should wear it! There are no strict rules, and you should feel free to wear anything that calls to you.

Black Always Wins 

Black clothing can look great, but you need to make sure you’re doing it right. It can hide a multitude of stains, flatter, and be perfect for mums. Just make sure you include different textures, to stop the outfit looking drab. Making sure you balance it with your fit can help too.

Use Accessories To Finish Your Look

Don’t forget accessories to finish your look. A waist belt, watch, or statement ring could make all the difference. Even the most boring of items can be dressed up with the right hardware!

Don’t lose who you are just because you’re a mum. Celebrate your style and personality and you’ll feel great every day! Do you have tips you like to use when dressing? Leave a comment!

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Relationship Dilemmas - What Was I Asked In Week 36?

After a refreshing summer break, Relationship Dilemmas is back. As usual, the questions I am asked can be about any aspect of relationships, and sometimes parenting and health.

If you would like any advice, feel free to message me or pop a comment in the comment box at the end of this post. I promise to be gentle.

Here's just some of the questions I've been asked this week.

Q: How honest should I be with my kids about their father’s drinking?

I feel like a traitor to my husband when I lie for him and a traitor to my children when I don't, when the children ask me about his drinking and other behaviors that concern them. What is right? They are 17 and 21 and still living at home. I am so confused. I don’t know how to handle this.

A: Your kids are old enough to hear the truth but it depends how you tell them. 

If you are saying their father is an alcoholic then you need to tell them that he is ill - because he is. 

If your husband is a heavy drinker and his drinking is starting to impinge on your daily life together then he needs to be encouraged to seek help (easier said than done I know). 

If he is an occasional drinker and comes back drunk from time to time, then that, despite being annoying, is quite a frequent occurrence in many homes. Your husband may need help. 

By keeping quiet you are just letting the problem continue and, over time, it will get worse. 

I understand that you want to protect your kids but they are young adults now and probably well aware that their dad has a problem - even if they aren’t sure exactly what it is. But you also need to make sure that your attitude to alcohol isn’t colouring their perceptions too. 

If, as I mentioned, your husband only gets occasionally drunk, then many people would not class that as problem drinking. 

Only you know whether your husband has a real problem with booze or not but addressing the issue as a family may help your husband as well as your kids.

Q: Why would a significant other choose to lie to their partner? Especially if the question has nothing to do with cheating? 

I’m married to someone and, over the years, I’ve noticed that their answers to questions seem a little off. I’ve even got into the habit of asking questions that I know the answers to, and most of the time, they miss their opportunity to not only be honest, but to build trust and connect with me.

A: Why do you put up with such awful behaviour? 

Never mind missing the opportunity to ‘be real’, how about treating you with a bit of respect? 

It may be your partner is bored and lies for a bit of excitement. It may be that they are a habitual liar - in which case I would suggest that little lies lead to even bigger ones. 

The reason why is not the issue here. 

The issue is that you know they are a liar and you are not calling them out on it. 

At best it’s extremely childish and at worst you need to question their behaviour on a wider scale. 

You say that the lying is nothing to do with cheating but even if that is the case, it’s time for them to grow up and start treating you with respect. I certainly wouldn’t put up with it. 

Q: Do girls like sensitive and emotional boys?

A: Why wouldn’t they? 

I don’t think that stereotyping boys as “hard, macho, tough,” for example rather than “sensitive, emotion, soft” is very helpful these days. 

Most of us are a mix of both sensitive and insensitive traits - it depends on the situation. 

Some will cry at wildlife programmes, some won’t. It’s often arbitrary and random. I’m not quite sure what you are asking. 

Are you asking if it is OK for girls to like sensitive and emotional boys? In which case, if he makes you happy who cares what others think. 

The key question is whether you get on OK and whether you find the ‘emotional behaviour’ acceptable or a bit grating. 

There is no ‘checklist’ you know. You just have to find someone who makes you happy. 

Q: How do you get over someone you never had?

I first started to have feelings for this guy in junior high. He was my senior and was a cute popular kid with so many fans. I wasn't one of the popular kids nor am I pretty so I didn't think I stood a chance. We never really talked. For years I'm not even sure he knew I existed. But as it turned out, he did.

When I met him 2 years ago at a school reunion, he asked me some basic and polite questions such as how am I doing or what I've been up to .That's the only conversation I've ever had with him. To begin with I thought it was just a crush. But here I am, 10 years later, unable to stop thinking about him. And no, he's never been a jerk to me, never acted rude, taken advantage of me or given me false hope. And if the story isn't pathetic enough, I've just found out that he's seeing an old school friend and they're about to get engaged.

How do I get over this feeling? How do I get over someone I never had? How do I get over this heartbreak, this misplaced feeling of something that never belong to me?

A: It sounds as if you have build up a little romantic movie which you play in your head every time you hear his name. 

He has come to represent your perfect man when, in reality, he might be a complete sleazeball with all the personality of cheese. Nobody is that perfect. 

You have to be strong and say to yourself “no, I’m not going to replay that old movie” and focus on the future and the men around you. 

Isn’t there someone who makes your fantasy man look less attractive? 

It’s also very easy to avoid going out and rejection by living in your fantasy world. 

You are safe, cocooned but, if you are honest with yourself, a little bit lonely. 

Don’t be lonely. There’s no need. 

It is nothing to do with looks; it’s to do with being a kind, caring human being who is interested in others - as they really are - not as you dream them to be. 

Time to leave your ivory tower and let Prince Charming canter off into the sunset. He was probably a rubbish dancer anyway.

Q: Should I tell my parents about my boyfriend's past?

We’ve been dating for over 2 years now. He's told me about his past. In his high school, he was a weed smoker and he also had sex with several women. But now, he’s completely changed. We've commited to never having sex before marriage. I've only told my parents he used to be a very bad student and a thug.

A: This all sounds a bit too good to be true and as a parent, I’d be naturally highly suspicious about this change to whiter-than-white behaviour. 

He may well have changed but lots of women subscribe to the “my love is so powerful it will change him” fantasy. 

I think you don’t need to say any more to your parents but it sounds like you really want to discuss this with them for their advice and counsel. 

This leads me to suspect you’re not all that sure that he has really changed. 

Everyone deserves a second chance, it’s true. You need to make sure that you aren’t having the wool pulled over your eyes. 

I bet you know that if you talk to your mum and dad about this they’ll tell you to get rid of him. To be frank, I think you should talk to them anyway. 

Talking about smoking weed really polarises people. Some are OK with it. Personally, I think it’s a short route to taking something harder. That is of greater concern to me than the sex but you’ll find others say this is nothing to worry about. 

You have to make that decision. And I think you’ll find it easier with your parents’ help. 

Q: Why did this girl call me a pervert for just asking a question?

The other day I asked a girl I know why girls wear spandex shorts under their skirts and dresses and she said “pervert stop looking up girls skirts and dresses” then walked off. She also told other girls I was a pervert who looked up girls skirts and dresses.

A: Well have you been? If you have then the girl is right to feel that your behaviour is a little inappropriate - or at least openly admitting it is. 

If on the other hand, you have just read or heard about spandex and were asking an innocent question, this is a huge over-reaction from her and it was very immature to tell the other girls this. 

Next time ask someone you can trust if you’re curious - like your mum or sister. 

Asking women about their underwear is not the wisest conversation starter in any situation. 

The actual answer to your question is that spandex shorts suck in any wobbly bits and give a smooth line under tight fitting clothing. It’s considered a no-no by some to be able to see your knicker line through your clothing. 

I’d just ignore this girl and the furore will die down soon enough when she finds something else to be outraged about.

Q: How can I make sure my network admin is not monitoring me?

A: I’m not sure you can and, in any case, what are you doing that you want to keep hidden from them? 

It is not clear from your question but I’m assuming you are talking about computers and a work situation. 

There are many sophisticated programs used by employers these days to monitor their employees use of inappropriate websites (porn, gambling etc) and social media sites can also be blocked, as can games. 

If you are using these then you risk disciplinary action and possibly the loss of your job. 

If you are saying that you are being picked on and your work is being monitored closely then you need to talk to HR about your worries and to find out what is going on. 

Q: What does he mean by telling me that he is like my brother?

My best friend who I have feelings for is a far friend of my brother who died 5 years ago. He used to send signals but became cold so I tried to move on with my life.  But last year he came back and is doing everything he can to gain my attention and trust - but he always says he is like my brother - why?

A: Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been enormously difficult for you and I can understand why you have become so attached to someone who has a link to your brother via a mutual friend. 

There are two possible reasons why this guy is telling you he is like a brother. 

Either he wishes you to rely on him the way you did your brother and he wants to be a part of your life 

Or he is gently trying to tell you that while he is fond of you, there is no romantic spark there. 

It sounds like he is rather confused himself and is unclear whether he wants a romantic relationship. 

The fact that he went cold suggests he does not but because he showed you lots of attention afterwards, he may just want to keep you as a friend. 

My advice would be to worry a little less about this guy and concentrate on finding someone else who clearly wants to be with you. 

If you date other guys or express an interest in them, it may also prompt this guy to make his mind up. 

I know there is a slight link to your brother with this guy but you deserve to be happy and if this guy can’t offer anything other than friendship, it may be time to move on.

How would you have responded to these questions? I'd love to know. You can find more advice on my problem page.

All materials included in this post are intended for informational purposes only. This post/information is not intended to and should not be used to replace medical or psychiatric advice offered by physicians or other health care providers. The author will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages arising therefrom.

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New Releases, Free & Bargain Books Link-up Week 36

How are you all this week?  Caitlin and Ieuan are both safely ensconced back in school and it's back to the old after school routine too - ballet, swimming and Tae-Kwondo.

Luckily I can fill my waiting time with a good book or two.  There seems to be an awful lot of waiting, doesn't there? At the moment I'm reading Late For Fate by Lori M. Jones and you can read my review later on this month.

I'd love to know what you're reading. Feel free to pop a comment below.

As ever, there are some great books to choose from on this week's linky.

Sharing the Love of Books
Enjoy our selection of New Releases / Free & Bargain Books this week

Authors please feel free to add your own books
Readers please free to add your own finds
(any genre except erotica welcome)

This weekly link up is hosted by Beck Valley Books & these awesome book loving blogs...
Monday
 Life as Leels | IrishdaisylovesRomance | Book Babble | All Romance Reader
Tuesday
It's My Side of Life | Celticlady's Reviews | First Time Mommy Adventures 
Wednesday
Beck Valley Books | Cinnamon Hollow Reviews
Thursday
Miki's Hope | Nicki's Nook
Friday
Ebook Addicts | I Love Romance | Mother Distracted | Colorimetry | The Ultimate Fan Blog
Saturday
Totally Addicted to Reading | 3 Partners in Shopping | Angie's Angle | I Create Purty Thangs | Wishful Endings
Sunday
Lynchburg Mama | LibriAmoriMiei | Ali - The Dragon Slayer | Wondermom Wannabe | Deal Sharing Aunt | Rambling Reviews 

For Pre-orders post - PRE-ORDER / genre / title /author

For New Releases post - NEW / genre / title / author

For Free Books post - FREE / genre / title / author / end date 

For Bargain Books post - SALE / price / genre / title / author / end date
(Strictly no Erotica please.  Steamy romance is fine but watch those covers people, incase any underage child is viewing it!)

Click here for this weeks awesome selection!

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10 Quick Tips For Saving Money On Your Energy Bills This Autumn

After the mortgage, our utility bills are one of the biggest chunks of our monthly expenditure.

Many of us, of course, know that we should be shopping around for a better deal but, if you're anything like me, you suspect that any rises or falls in utility costs will eventually spread to all the other utility providers and even out over the long term and you find the thought of switching provider is just too much of a hassle.

But since Which suggest you could save up to £369 by switching your energy provider, it may be well worth while making the change.

In the meantime, there are lots of ways we can reduce our existing utility bills by making a few practical adjustments.

Here are some quick tips:-

*  Turn down your thermostat.  The Energy Saving Trust say you can save around £90 just by turning your thermostat down 1 degree.  Sweaters and hot water bottles can be your new best friends.

* Try a smart thermostat.  That way you can control your heating via the internet and could switch it on in time for your return from work, rather than keeping it on all day.  Have a look at Nest or Hive.

*Make sure the dishwasher is full before you switch it on or, if you hand-wash, use a bowl to wash up rather than a running tap and save £30 a year in energy bills.

* Fill the kettle with the amount of water that you need and save around £7 a year.

* Reduce your washing machine use by just load per week and save £5 a year on energy, and a further £8 a year on metered water bills.

*Check your windows for draughts. You can buy draught-proofing strips to stick around the window frames which are cheap, and easy to install, although they may not be a long term solution.You can get metal or plastic strips with brushes or wipers attached which are long-lasting, but cost a little more. For windows that don't open, use a silicone sealant.

*You can also prevent heat loss by using thermal / black-out linings on your curtains (great at helping the kids to sleep too) or by fitting blinds from the company VELUX which have a special heat blocking aluminium coating on the back to retain heat in the room in winter and reflect solar heat in summer.

*Similarly, check your doors for draughts too.  Keep doors closed to stop cold air from moving into the rest of the house and if there is a gap at the bottom of the door, use a draught excluder.  You can make your own with some spare material or even a stuffed pair of tights.

*Draught-proof your front door by

 -getting a keyhole cover (a metal disc that drops over the keyhole)
- fitting your letterbox with a flap or brush
- blocking any gap at the bottom with a brush or hinged flap draught excluder.

*Don't leave all your gadgets on standby.  Switch them off to save £££s.

For more great ideas on how to save money on your utilities, go to www.energysavingtrust.org.uk

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The Smartphone Survey 2016 - Sex & Romance At The Touch Of A Button?

In my relationship dilemma columns there is one method of communication which seems to cause more hang-ups, misunderstandings and problems than any other - yes, you've guessed it - texting.

So it's not surprising to read that, according to a survey, commissioned by gadget insurance website Row.co.uk, over 700,000 Brits believe their addiction to their mobile phone has got in the way of their sex life. (And not just because at some point you do have to actually put your phone down).

On the other hand, a larger number say it has helped them. Far easier to hide behind a phone screen than face outright rejection, isn't it?

There are over 40 million smartphone owners in the United Kingdom and these devices are certainly having an impact on our day to day lives, including our romantic pursuits.

New figures suggest that 3 in 20 Brits admit to using their mobile phone to secretly flirt with other people while in a committed relationship.

No wonder so many of us have trust issues! The same research shows that 28% of us regularly read our partner’s texts and snoop through their email inbox.

We don’t just use our mobile phones to be unfaithful; 39% of us use our smartphones to start new relationships by asking people out via text or an app like Tinder. 13.5% then use our phones while out on a date. How rude and a great way to guarantee you'll never get a repeat date.

For 1 in 4 of us, text is our preferred method for ending a relationship. Technology also takes away the need for chivalry, apparently.

Worse still, 13% of us have missent a flirty message and 7% of us have sent a flirty photo of ourselves to the wrong person! Several survey respondents admitted sending revealing photos to their ex, while one claimed to have done so to a family member!

So go on, 'fess up.  Do you snoop through your partner's phone messages and texts?

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