Brilliant Hacks For A Stress Free School Morning From belVita

It's not surprising to learn that over 40% of parents say back to school stress begins the week before the new term starts, threatening to send some of us over the edge!

And, as the new school term looms, a huge 80% admit to feeling stressed at the thought of having to get everyone back into the school routine after the holidays, with the dreaded morning school run amongst the most stressful things about parenthood, according to the nation’s mums and dads.

The study on parenthood stresses by belVita Breakfast Biscuits found that 5 of the 10 top parent pressure points start the moment we wake up, with 31% agreeing that getting the children ready and out of the door in time for school and settling back into the flow of the morning routine post-holiday, are key parenthood stress triggers.

And it's not just kids who bear the brunt of the ‘morning madness.’ Unfortunately for parents, 65% of mums and dads forego something to get the kids out of the front door like breakfast (36%) or end up fighting with their partner over who takes on the most in the morning (38%).

It can sometimes be a battle to get the kids to eat breakfast!

Parents don’t just feel the ‘back to school’ pressure at home…44% feel under pressure to appear to be stress-free and 'together' in front of the other parents at the school gate in the morning - with dads feeling the pressure more than mums (49% men versus 46% of women).

Dr Linda Papadopoulos, who has been working with belVita Breakfast to help advise parents, particularly in the morning where most of the pressure lies, says:

“The stress and challenges of parenting can feel overwhelming - especially when we feel under pressure to get a lot done in a short space of time- morning can be especially challenging and it’s key to develop a positive, convenient routine in the morning as it sets the rhythm for the day. And it's not just kids who bear the brunt of the ‘morning madness.’ Unfortunately for parents, 65% of mums and dads forego something to get the kids out of the front door like breakfast (36%) or end up fighting with their partner over who takes on the most in the morning (38%).

Parents don’t just feel the ‘back to school’ pressure at home…44% feel under pressure to appear to be stress-free and 'together' in front of the other parents at the school gate in the morning - with dads feeling the pressure more than mums (49% men versus 46% of women).

The research, focused on 2,000 parents, reveals that thanks to the frenetic morning routine, nearly a third (32%) forget to pack an important school item and a fifth (20%) drop the children off late for school.

1 in 10 parents even do something ridiculous before leaving the house, including sending the kids outside with socks on their hands instead of gloves or they walk at out the house in an item of nightwear!

When it’s ‘back to school time’, trying to get everything done and leaving the house on time is at its most pressurised so developing strategies that you give you and your family a sense of control is really important.”

Over a half (51%) of parents feel stress would be reduced if the kids just did what they were asked, whilst over a fifth (21%) of pray for a fairy god mother out of pure desperation!

However, others look for solutions to deal with the battle of the morning routine, with nearly a quarter (22%) wishing they tackled what was thrown at them with ease and 21% wishing to find cheats to help them out in the morning.

Here's a list of the top parenting stressors the researchers found:

*Keeping the house tidy and the chores up to date (38%)
*Getting the children ready and out of the door in time for school (31%)
*Getting back into a school/morning routine after the school holidays (31%)
*Getting children to do their homework/reading (27%)
*The bedtime routine (26%)
*Getting children to eat certain foods (26%)
*Getting children to clean their teeth (24%)
*Making sure my children are well behaved in public (23%)
*Getting children out of bed in the mornings (21%)
*Meal times (20%)
*The School run (19%)

“Parents don’t need to panic! There are ways we can relieve the morning madness, simple strategies like connecting with kids in the morning so they're more co-operative or preparing things from the night before can make a big difference to the morning mood of a family unit. Small changes and combining some short term quick wins and convenient cheats will pay off in the long term.”

belVita believe that a good morning can set you up for the day – and that means making sure neither you nor the kids miss out on a breakfast.and their breakfast biscuits are a tasty and convenient breakfast option.

And if you're looking for some great hacks to make your morning routine simpler, check out the video below.




All you can do is come up with a routine and stick to it come hell or high water in the hope that your kids will eventually do what they're asked automatically.

Either that, or just muddle through like the rest of us with coffee.  An awful lot of coffee. And I can confirm that belVita biscuits are great to dunk.

The belVita range includes belVita Breakfast Biscuits, belVita Breakfast Yogurt Crunch and Duo Crunch, belVita Breakfast Tops – three tasty breakfast biscuits with smooth topping, belVita Breakfast Soft Bakes and belVita Breakfast Crunchy – three tasty bigger breakfast biscuits - which we tried in Apricot.

A PR sample was received for the purposes of this post and very tasty it was too.

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New Mothers Need More Than Just Employment Protection

Women don’t just need employment protection whilst on maternity leave, they also need support to transition back into work, according to diversity consultancy, The Clear Company.

Time to return to work?

In light of recent reports from The Women and Equalities Committee and calls from MPs to address the discrimination pregnant women and new mothers face at work, The Clear Company has urged businesses to consider long term support for these individuals.

The diversity consultancy has outlined that while ensuring women can return to work after maternity leave is vital, providing them with the training and support they need to transition back into work is crucial to prevent them from feeling alienated from the rest of the workplace upon their return.

Kate Headley, Development Director at The Clear Consultancy, explains:

“While the numerous initiatives to encourage more women back to work after maternity leave are positive moves to address the issue, there are additional supplements that employers must consider in order to retain these individuals long term. Yes more females need protection at work in terms of being able to return to their job, but they also need support in making this transition.

Business owners need to remember that these individuals have gone through a time of incredible change and have been away from work for a lengthy period. Not only are they likely to consider the impact of working hours on their home life, but there’s also the potential that they will hit a few bumps in the road when they start back as they learn to juggle their new personal and professional lives.

“By providing greater support for women once they are back in employment, companies will really benefit from an engaged employee who feels valued and respected and is subsequently likely to have better productivity levels and be more loyal to the brand.

That’s not to say that huge amounts of money need to be invested in schemes – simple moves such as linking them up with other mothers or new parents in the business will give them a support group to turn to for advice.

If you still need convincing of the benefits of encouraging more women into work, a recent report from The Anita Borg Institute (The case for investing in women) found that Fortune 500 companies with at least three female directors saw an increase in return on invested capital by at least 66%, return on sales by 42%, and return on equity by at least 53%.”

I left work in 2007 to have Caitlin and have since worked from home but I can understand how daunting it is to return to full time employment, even more so after a lengthier gap than statutory maternity leave. Not only would you have to renew working relationships and make new contacts, but all your previous skills (particularly IT) will need to be refreshed.

Many returners suffer a huge crisis of confidence at returning, coupled with the guilt and sadness of leaving their children, even if it is for a few hours a day. And well-paid part time jobs, particularly in my previous sector, Legal Services, are few and far between, which is a huge consideration when thinking about childcare costs.

I know of many women whose salary is almost entirely swallowed up by childcare costs but they continue working for the social aspect and because they need to contribute and maintain their professional qualifications.

I think a lot more could be done to ease a new mum's -or a stay-at-home parent's - return to work but, in my view, childcare is the biggest issue which needs to be addressed before we even think about continuing our careers.

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Redundancy: An Employer's Weapon Against Pregnant Women And New Mothers?

Having spent over 15 years working for several law firms, it comes as no great surprise to read, according to a press release from Stockport and Manchester solicitors, Gorvin's, that "drastic action is needed to give new and expectant mothers more protection at work after another “shocking” and "damning" report reveals a huge increase in pregnancy discrimination over the last 10 years.

I have heard enough anecdotal evidence to know that this form of discrimination occurs more frequently than you might realise - and the Legal Sector itself is not exempt.

MP’s are calling for more “urgent action” after the latest Women and Equalities Committee report shows the true level of discrimination against women in the workplace.

The report, announced on the 31 August 2016, sheds light on further issues for women in the workplace following on from the gender pay gap issues already witnessed over the past few weeks.

Gorvin's employment lawyer Danielle Ayres, who specialises in pregnancy and maternity discrimination cases, suggests that “We need a German style system putting into place in the UK, which makes it harder to make women redundant during and after pregnancy.”

Currently in the UK, although it is wholly illegal to dismiss a woman for reasons relating to having children, a company can still choose and find other reasons to make her redundant.

In 2015 a further report highlighted that more than 54,000 new and expectant mothers had been forced to leave their jobs as a result of discrimination by their employers.

Danielle who regularly holds free employment law clinics for women experiencing issues at work says “over the past 6 months I have taken on cases from women who have returned to work to find their job is no more, or who have not been properly consulted throughout a redundancy process.

Probably more shocking is the number of women who receive notification of redundancy just before their return to work with no warning or explanation".

Further findings in the report also call for more protection for new and expectant mothers who are casual, agency or zero hours workers.

Although the right to statutory maternity leave and pay only applies to employees, the ERA 1996 does afford protection to a wider class of new and expectant mothers including these contracted workers and self-employed contractors.

Danielle who works closely with Joeli Brierley, owner and founder of pioneering group Pregnant then Screwed, has been campaigning with leading charities, maternity groups and the equality and human rights commission to afford a change to the current issues affecting this group of women.

Angela Rainer, shadow minister for women and equalities, said the report shows thousands of pregnant women are being “priced out of justice” because of tribunal fees introduced by government.

Gillian Guy, chief executive of Citizens Advice, said it was a “confusing landscape” that meant “some bad bosses” were “getting away with treating their employees unfairly.”

“At such a crucial time in their lives when these women want to be enjoying time with their new baby, the last thing they need is to be affording a legal battle with their employer; something has to change and I believe this report is one step further in highlighting the abhorrent truth which still occurs in today’s modern society.”

Have you experienced this kind of discrimination?  Don't be afraid to take legal advice or talk to someone at your local citizens' advice bureau.

You can also search for a local law firm in your area and see if they offer free legal advice or employment clinics on Yell.com.

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The Back To School Guide For The Introvert Mum

Many of us will be facing the return to school of our little darlings with a mix of relief and sadness.

We have loved our time with them (mostly), but now that our house looks like it has been the scene of a 6 week long rave and there is nothing left to eat in the cupboards, apart, of course, from the chick peas you bought circa 2014, it is time to give them back to the ministrations of the local authority (the kids not the chick peas).

Sighs of relief all round.  There are even some marriages which are still intact.

But for some of us, it's not taking junior back to school tomorrow that's the worry, it's having to run the gauntlet of the school run mums.

I've written before about how isolating it can be if you are shy and don't mix well with people.  Bizarrely this can happen to those who have had jobs in professions which you might think are really sociable.  And social shyness can strike at any time and at any age.  A slight loss of confidence and then blam!  You have all the social skills of Donald Trump.  Sadly, some of us have the hair to go with it.

Why we get ourselves in such a state about two brief stints outside a school gate I'm not sure.  It may be because it brings back memories of when we were in school.   There is no doubt, however, that adult bullying goes on and, no matter, how many times you tell yourself that it is these sad individuals who have the problem, it does not take away the sting.

Sometimes though, we are our own worst enemy.  The Law of Attraction (I know, I know, weirdy, beardy shite, as the Husband calls it), says that what you give out, you get back and I'd say that is certainly true of social interaction. Someone has to make the first move and the sad thing is, very often nobody does.

Every played "hello" chess?  It goes like this.

Day 1

You see a mum.  You say hello.  She says hello back.

Day 2

You see the same mum.  You say hello.  She nods.

Day 3

You see the same mum.  You nod, she ignores you.

Day 4

You both ignore each other.

This tends to progress to being totally blanked when they drive by or ignored if they spot you in a supermarket.

We tend to assume, don't we, that if we are not acknowledged, it is all about us but we should remember that others have their own problems and, if you're anything like me, it's quite easy to become completely absorbed in a world of your own.

We also assume that others have Grade A social skills and have no trouble making friends themselves but that is quite likely to be untrue in many cases.

All you can do, I think, is decide on your own standard of behaviour and stick to that.  That way you can be sure that it's not you.

If you are being picked on or ostracized for whatever reason your choices are stark, but simple.

Either confront the bullies or ignore them.  A confronted bully, as we know from childhood experience, will often back down and then pick on someone else.  They crave power and attention and if they don't get it, they get bored.

Sometimes you just need to accept that, rather than being a rich pool of potential friendships, the school run cliques are often anything but and actually, when you think about it, in many cases the only thing you have in common is a child at the same school.

In any other walk of life this would not be enough to create a long-lasting supportive friendship so isn't it a bit irrational to pin such high hopes on other parents?

If you are dreading tomorrow, remember that you are a nice person. Be pleasant.  Say hello. Show an interest in what your fellow parents have done over the summer.

But if you are blanked or ignored, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?

Better to concentrate your efforts on finding friends with whom you have something in common.  Join groups, take up a hobby, take an evening class if you can get the childcare.

If you still don't want to give up, then you have to be prepared to take a risk.  Ask one of the other mums for a coffee. There's bound to be someone just like you standing alone staring into space.

They probably feel just as lost as you do.

And there's a very good reason why socialising with other parents is important.  Isn't it gutting when you realise that all the children of the parents in the popular cliques get to play together and yours are never invited?

You owe it to your kids to brush up on your own social skills so that they can learn to make friends, to be the ones brave enough to take the first step and never to be the ones who make others feel unwelcome, or alone.

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New Releases, Free & Bargain Books Link-up 2 September 2016

How are you all this week?  It's September already and the kids are back to school on Monday.  I don't know whether to be happy or sad about that.  Each summer school holiday is a kind of milestone as they grow up a little more and a little further away from you.

If you're feeling a bit "emosh" as the teen's say, why not lose yourself in a book?  You'll need something to do in between watching the X Factor, Strictly Come Dancing, Victoria and, probably, I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, won't you?

I'll bet the judges are all reading their Kindles when the camera stops rolling.

As ever, there are some great books to choose from on this week's linky.

Sharing the Love of Books
Enjoy our selection of New Releases / Free & Bargain Books this week

Authors please feel free to add your own books
Readers please free to add your own finds
(any genre except erotica welcome)

This weekly link up is hosted by Beck Valley Books & these awesome book loving blogs...
Monday
 Life as Leels | IrishdaisylovesRomance | Book Babble | All Romance Reader
Tuesday
It's My Side of Life | Celticlady's Reviews | First Time Mommy Adventures 
Wednesday
Beck Valley Books | Cinnamon Hollow Reviews
Thursday
Miki's Hope | Nicki's Nook
Friday
Ebook Addicts | I Love Romance | Mother Distracted | Colorimetry | The Ultimate Fan Blog
Saturday
Totally Addicted to Reading | 3 Partners in Shopping | Angie's Angle | I Create Purty Thangs | Wishful Endings
Sunday
Lynchburg Mama | LibriAmoriMiei | Ali - The Dragon Slayer | Wondermom Wannabe | Deal Sharing Aunt | Rambling Reviews 

For Pre-orders post - PRE-ORDER / genre / title /author

For New Releases post - NEW / genre / title / author

For Free Books post - FREE / genre / title / author / end date 

For Bargain Books post - SALE / price / genre / title / author / end date
(Strictly no Erotica please.  Steamy romance is fine but watch those covers people, incase any underage child is viewing it!)

Click here for this weeks awesome selection!

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Wow. What An Insult.

If there's one word lately that's guaranteed to make my hackles rise (and it doesn't take much, as you know), it's people using the word "wow" to express incredulity, disagreement and wonderment at your (unstated) level of stupidity.

Beware keyboard warriors typing "wow"

It's become a linguistic shorthand for "you complete idiot, I have a pot plant with a higher IQ than you".

Are we really all so terrified about giving a contrary opinion that we have to hide behind "wow"?  It's worse than LOL which shouldn't, in my humble opinion, be used by anyone over 12, even though I do it all the time.

"Wow" makes you sound like a moody adolescent with an addiction to US sitcom box-sets.  "Wow-ers" can probably quote every single episode of Friends off by heart.

There's something really passive-aggressive about "wow", particularly on Facebook.  You can almost feel the sneer looming out of your PC screen whilst you know that, to your face, the "wow-er" would probably stutter, retract their statement or quickly justify the reason why they think you're a pillock.

"Wow-ing" is trolling-lite for the sanctimonious.  You see it all the time.  Someone will post a selfie of themselves in a new dress - "oh wow, you must really have lost some weight to fit in that".

Or, on the online parenting forums, any move away from the accepted parenting methods (usually from Chelsea and involving flowery wellies and a Joules raincoat, plus beards - lots of beards), will set the "wow-ing" off.

"I let little Sinjin miss his morning nap to take him to Junior Polo".  "Wow - I'd never be so cavalier with Paraphernalia's and Juxtaposition's naps. They'd just be Impossible".

Everyone's doing it but it's a shame we've lost the art of the good old fashioned insult lobed with wit and intelligence.

You think I'm talking rubbish?

Wow.  Just wow.

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Book review: Mindful Mama: Happy Baby - Calming Techniques For Both Of You

Becoming a new parent can, it goes without saying, be extremely stressful and wouldn't it be great to have a manual to hand which explains how to gain your inner calm back - and, better still, to pass that calmness onto your baby or toddler?

I've recently discovered a new book, "Mindful Mama: Happy Baby Over 60 calming techniques and creative activities for babies and toddlers by Maja Pitamic and Susannah Marriott" which would have been a great help to me when Caitlin and Ieuan were younger.

Mindful Mama: Happy Baby, published by Modern Books, RRP £12.99, 25th August 2016

I'm sure you have heard of the concept of mindfulness, which involves living in the present moment and directing your focus to whatever you are doing, thus removing your ability to worry and stress about things because it is impossible to do both at the same time.  Believe me I've tried!

There's no doubt in my mind that parents pass their stresses, and their stress related behaviour on to their kids and, despite some recent media reports claiming mindfulness is not as effective as it's claimed, my personal belief is that it is an extremely useful technique to use in all walks of life.

New parenthood tests not only our bodies but particularly our minds.  Nothing prepares you for the feelings you have when you become a parent and mindfulness is a great way of remaining calm and keeping a sense of perspective.

Mindful Mama: Happy Baby is a practical and accessible guide for new parents, designed to give you the skills to calmly navigate the early years of child rearing, from birth to three years of age.

The authors say that 'mindful parenting' makes time for meaningful interactions with your child, which have a profound effect on bonding during the crucial developmental stages.

Their techniques focus on the well-being of both parent and child, and help to bring peace and perspective to the emotional whirlwind of having a new baby.

The activities in the book are suitable for children (both boys and girls) from birth to 3 and each chapter contains activities for a specific age group.

The first chapter contains mindfulness meditations, visualisations and movement exercises to help you to adjust to your new role as a parent.

The activities in subsequent chapters are based on Montessori principles of learning through experience. As your baby grows into a toddler, the exercises change to allow their particular age group to fully explore the world around them and engage their senses in a fun and playful way.

The authors explain that playing with a child with awareness daily is the most mindful thing we can do as parents. It shows children we are available and passes on the self-acceptance that comes with engaging fully with an activity. As children reveal their personalities and unique ways of doing things so we learn from them, our relationships with them become richer

Both practical and inspiring, Mindful Mama: Happy Baby gives you and your child the building blocks for an enjoyable and mindful first few years.

The book contains:-

*Over 60 mindful activities and play ideas for bonding with your child

*Sensory games, songs, dances and outdoor activities to share

*Advice on nurturing, feeding, bathing, sleeping and carrying

*Meditative techniques to relax your mind and keep you calm

I really like this book and it would make a great gift for a new parent, as well as being a worthwhile investment for yourself. Dads may benefit equally from the exercises too!

Maja Pitamic is the author of I Can Do It, the successful Montessori activity book for ages three to five, as well as the co-author of I Can Make Music, Modern Art Adventures and 3D Art Adventures. Susannah Marriott is a freelance author and mother of three. Her books include Green Babycare, Natural Pregnancy, Pregnancy Herbal and The Pregnancy and Baby Book.

You can order Mindful Mama: Happy Baby (£12.99) from www.amazon.co.uk/Mindful-Mama-Techniques-Creative-Activities/dp/1906761833 or by telephoning the publisher, Modern Books, on 01256 302 692.

*A proof copy was received for the purpose of this review

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