Mother Distracted

Sunday, 19 June 2016

Win Skippy Peanut Butter & Pretzels - 5 Sets To Give Away

I've written before that, when he was much younger, Ieuan went through a serious 'peanut butter' phase when literally the only thing he'd eat was peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

Luckily now he's 7 at the end of June, he will eat foods of a colour other than brown, but his passion for peanut butter hasn't abated - and neither has mine. I'd happily eat it off the spoon.

Actually, in one of my panic sessions about Ieuan's nutrient free diet, a vegetarian friend of mine pointed out that peanuts are packed with protein - just 1/4 of a cup contains 19% of the recommended daily intake. Plus peanuts are rich in monounsaturated fats which have been shown to decrease the risk of cardiovascular disease. So Ieuan wasn't doing so badly after all!

If you are considering giving peanut butter to your kids, here's the NHS' advice.

"Whole nuts, including peanuts, shouldn't be given to children under five, as they can choke on them. As long as there's no history of food allergies or other allergies in your family, you can give your baby peanuts once they're six months old, as long as they're crushed or ground into peanut butter."

You can, of course, also cook with peanut butter - peanut chicken satay, peanut butter cookies, even peanut butter fudge!

Our favourite brand of peanut butter is Skippy® which we load up with at our local Costco but you can find it in most supermarkets and I have 5 sets of peanut butter and pretzels to give away so that you can watch the Euros whilst snacking on something nutritious, or if you're avoiding the footie, whilst wading through the box set of your choice.

Each prize contains two 340g jars (one each of the following) and bag of pretzels to dip.

Skippy® Super Chunk® Peanut Butter - every jar is blended with loads of real peanut pieces so you get the fun flavour of SKIPPY® Peanut Butter, plus crazy amounts of crunchiness.

Skippy® Creamy Peanut Butter Spread - the smooth, creamy cousin of Skippy® Super Chunk® - and our favourite.

Find out more at www.peanutbutter.com where you can find a great range of snacking suggestions.

To enter the giveaway, simply click on the Rafflecopter below. UK entrants only. Terms and conditions apply. The giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Sunday 10th July 2016.

Good luck.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Relationship Dilemmas - What Was I Asked In Week 24?

I spend a lot of time responding to the questions I am asked about dating & relationships on Quora.com and I thought I'd share some of my answers with you in case you are going through anything similar.

Obviously I am not an expert but I am a 50-something married mum of two with quite a few years' experience under my belt. I take the view that, sometimes, you need to hear it like you would from your own mother - however tough the truth may be.

Here's just some of the questions I've been asked this week.

Q: My son brings a lot of girls to his room in our house. He's 17 but I know what they're up to. How can I make sure he's playing safe?

A: I get the feeling you are putting up with your son’s ‘dalliances’ because you are too hesitant to broach the subject with him.

I would not be happy for my kids to be having sex under my roof but I appreciate that this may be an old fashioned view for some.

But if you are not happy you have every right to raise this with your son. You are, after all, the adult and it’s your home.

I’m assuming you have discussed contraception and STDs with him, as well as the impact on his life were he to become a father. Then there’s the matter of treating women with respect and not putting himself in situations where sexual consent could be misconstrued.

Is there a trusted male you could get to have a ‘man to man’ talk with him?

If it were me I would frankly ban him from using my house as a ‘shag pad’ and set firm boundaries about what is and is not acceptable - suitable hours for these girls to appear for a start. Is he bringing them back at all hours of the day?

A reminder that his time might be better spent studying or working in order to build the kind of future which allows you to support kids might be in order.

I think if you don’t address this soon you are likely to be explaining your decision to adopt such a liberal approach to some of these girls’ parents.

You have my sympathy though - I have all this to come in a few years (I have a son and a daughter).

Good luck!

Q. When you are dating someone do you talk to them every day?

Some guys I have encountered lately claim they are interested in dating me but they rarely talk to me and only talk to me if I approach them first. We don't seem to have much to talk about and I don't want to seem too needy so I don't hit them up every day.

A: It sounds like you have absolutely nothing in common with these guys beyond physical attraction. Relationships based on this often fizzle out. You want a romance AND a friendship and when you have those it’s natural to talk daily or at least every other day or so.

Also, if it’s you doing all the ‘hitting up’ then it sounds like you are doing all the chasing which may turn them off.

Why not let them chase after you - that way you’ll know they are definitely interested and will be better able to assess whether you have anything in common with them.

I think you need to relax - it sounds like you are trying too hard.

Q: I don't have any feelings for my boyfriend, even though we're a perfect match on paper (academic achievements, temperament etc). Should I let him go?

A: Yes you should. You want a boyfriend not a pet.

It’s not about ticking things off a list, it’s whether you feel a connection, whether there’s a spark. If there are no feelings, what’s the point?

You don’t need a relationship to validate you. I think you need to build your self confidence and focus on your achievements - then one day when you’re not looking you’ll find the guy who does make your heart beat faster.

Q: I want to date but I'm not allowed to. What would be the best way to discuss this with my parents?

A: You don’t say how old you are. Whilst you are still a minor, your parents are responsible for your care and, annoying though it is, I’m sure they have your best interests at heart.

If you are 14 / 15 it might be worth asking for a bit more freedom but if you are younger than that, I think you just need to be patient and concentrate on more important things, like your school work.

Q: Is it OK not to be friends with your boyfriend on social media?

My boyfriend blocked me on all his social medias one time we fought. We made up but he is still blocking me on all his social media accounts. I asked him why, he said he would reinvite me when he feels like it. We are in a long distance relationship with about 9000 miles between us too. Is this normal? Should I be worried?

A: No it’s not normal and it’s extremely childish of him. It sounds like there is something on his social media accounts he doesn’t want you to see.

You say you have ‘made up’ but if that’s the case he has no excuse for blocking you on his accounts.

Why are you accepting this?

I would ask him for the last time to reinstate you and if he still will not, I think it’s time to end the relationship and find someone else.

His behaviour is deeply suspicious and I’m sure you can find someone who deserves you much more closer to home.

Q: I've been in a 3 year relationships with a 24 year old. I'm 52. We can't seem to make it work. He says it's because I need to be submissive. I disagree. What do I do?

A: I am your age and to be honest I would not consider a relationship with someone as young as 24. You are both at completely different places in your life.

Why would a 52 year old woman accept being told to be ‘submissive’ by a guy as young as that? In other words he’s saying “do what I want or it’s over” which is extremely immature.

You have been together for 3 years so there is obviously something there but in your position I would want a relationship with an equal to go forward in life with as a true partner.

Not to spend the next few years worrying about keeping my partner happy by kow-towing to his every whim.

If it was me, I find myself a sexy silver fox to worship the ground I walked on.

Q: Why does my ex say he loves me but he doesn't want to be with me?

A: I’m afraid it’s the oldest line in the book, usually trotted out by those who haven’t the guts to admit they want to break up.

There may be a chance of friendship later on down the line but for now I would take what he has said at face value and concentrate your efforts on finding someone new who does want to be with you.

Q: Is it normal for your partner to keep sleazy pictures of his exes on his phone?

A: How do you know - I’m assuming either you’ve been snooping or he has shown you?

It may be that, to him, they’re just photos but personally I would be a little suspicious.

Reading between the lines it sounds like you don’t trust him much and in your shoes I’d be looking for someone who is less concerned with keeping photos as trophies and more considerate of your feelings.

Q: Can I date my ex's sister who is unhappily married?

A: So you’re asking should you have an affair with the married sister of your ex-girlfriend.

The fact that the woman is unhappily married has nothing to do with it.

It sounds to me like you want to get one over on your ex by dating her sister.

Have you considered the feelings of everyone else involved? Your ex, her sister’s husband, the girls’ parents, any children?

Time to move on and find a new love a little less close to home. This has disaster written right across it.

The best revenge is a happy new relationship - not making yourself look an idiot by wrecking another family’s relationships on purpose.

Q: When will I know it's time to leave her?

A: This is a very odd question. It sounds like you already want to leave but are searching for a ‘sign’ that it’s the right time.

If you want to go, the right time is now because it is unfair to string her along.

You need to have the bottle to have ‘the talk’ - whether you DO want to leave now or whether there are aspects of your relationship which could be improved to allow it to continue.

Q: He's been ignoring my calls and texts for the last two months but I can't stop calling him. I need closure. What do I do?

A: If he is ignoring you, you have all the closure you need. I understand that you are desperate to get him back but making a nuisance of yourself by constantly calling and texting him is really not working, is it?

Why did the relationship end? Were you unfaithful? Was he?

I think you need to talk to someone (a close friend or family member) about how you are feeling and possible a doctor too to help come up with some coping strategies before this behaviour turns into a full blown obsession.

How would you have responded to these questions?

You can find more dating advice on my problem page.

All materials included in this post are intended for informational purposes only. This post/information is not intended to and should not be used to replace medical or psychiatric advice offered by physicians or other health care providers. The author will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages arising therefrom.

New Releases, Free & Bargain Books Link-up 17 June 2016

It's turning into a typical British summer, isn't it? We've been deluged this morning by torrential rain. Actually I think it might have been caused by me putting a sun lounger out in the garden. I have been planning to while away a few hours topping up my tan (well, going slightly less pasty, anyway) with a glass of something chilled and a good book - if only the sun would come out - and stay out!

I suspect my reading spot is more likely to be my favourite armchair as usual. We are not going on holiday until August and then it will be to Devon - so kagools at the ready.

Perhaps you're off to more exotic climes and are looking for something to while away the hours on the beach or when you travel.

Here are the fab books on offer this week. You're sure to find something that takes your fancy.

For Pre-orders post - PRE-ORDER / genre / title /author

For New Releases post - NEW / genre / title / author

For Free Books post - FREE / genre / title / author / end date

For Bargain Books post - SALE / price / genre / title / author / end date
(Strictly no Erotica please. Steamy romance is fine but watch those covers people, incase any underage child is viewing it!)

Click HERE for this week's awesome selection.

And don't forget you can always add some of your own!

Is Drinking Our Supplements The Answer To Younger, Fresher Skin?

Now that I have reached the age of 52, I'm on a mission to find ways in which I can stay looking younger for longer - without necessarily going under the surgeon's knife.

I recently wrote about some of the non-surgical treatments available but these will only have a temporary effect if your diet, and your lifestyle in general is not up to scratch.

In our menopausal years we face the double-whammy of hormonal upheaval both mentally and physically. Our skin becomes less firm and begins to sag. Our hair loses colour and becomes coarser or thinner and our nails become weaker and more brittle.

It's not surprising then that the old adage about a woman having to choose between her face and her figure after a certain age makes sense because we have to decide whether to lose those stubborn middle-age pounds that we can gain or keep them and maintain a relatively plump and unlined face!

A sensible diet with the right balance of protein, carbs and healthy fats plus lots of fruit, veggies and water has been drummed into us all daily. But if you are still working and raising kids, it's not so easy to spend time in the kitchen pursuing the latest 'clean eating' strategy, substituting digestive biscuits for almonds and covering everything in Chia seeds.

It's not just the cooking either. It's the organisation needed, the planning, the shopping and, with many of these diets, the cost.

And, much though we would like to pretend we are all nutritionists (unfortunately buying a Nutribullet does not automatically give you that qualification), how do we know we are getting the right balance of vitamins and minerals?

As we get older, the needs of our bodies change and there are a number of supplements which are recommended to help protect against ageing.

You may have heard of some of these, such as Hyaluronic Acid, which plays an important role in skin hydration and stimulates the production of collagen in the skin. The bad news is that by the time we're in our mid-40s we are producing roughly half the amount of Hyaluronic Acid we need with the consequences of wrinkles and thinning hair.

Then there's Glucosamine which occurs naturally in our body as part of our cartilage and when used as a supplement can treat UV damaged skin and hyper-pigmentation, and Biotin (also known as Vitamin H) which supports the B vitamins in our bodies to correctly metabolise our food so that we can extract the nutrients we need from it. As a supplement, Biotin helps with hair loss and dry or scaling skin.

I often joke that my favourite liquid supplement is red wine because of the anti-aging effects of the mysterious compound it contains - Resveratrol - which is also found in nuts. It is a renowned anti-inflammatory agent and an antioxidant that helps repair the damge 'free radicals' do to our skin.

Free radicals are generated by our bodies when we convert food to energy and, broadly speaking, they are toxic compounds which can start a chain reaction causing cells to function poorly or die.

Too much red wine, of course, is horrendously dehydrating and I don't know about you but one large glass tends to be my limit as I find any more and the hangover I get seems far worse than it did in my youth!

Have you got the time to make sure you have the right amount of anti-oxidants each day?

So short of spending an arm and a leg in the supermarket loading up our trolley with berries or at our local natural health store buying a wide range of supplements (don't forget Vitamins C and E or Selenium), is there a way we can quickly top up our supplies of these without the expense of buying multiple bottles of different supplements?

Liquid supplements offer a convenient solution to this problem and there is a wide variety of these available in combinations to suit any number of healthcare issues, particularly for those of us in the 40+ age group. Liquid supplements have the advantage of being quickly absorbed and easy to take. The last vitamin supplements I bought in tablet form were so big I had difficulty swallowing them!

Are liquid supplements effective? It certainly seems so. Some research has suggested that only 3-20% of vitamins and minerals in tablet form are absorbed by the body whereas a whopping 98% of liquid vitamins are absorbed because digestive processing is bypassed and they enter your bloodstream within minutes.

This may well be a more effective approach to anti-ageing skincare than relying on face creams alone, no matter how much sunscreen we diligently apply or whatever the latest miracle serum claims to do.

It all depends on your lifestyle and budget, of course, but an excellent skincare regime supported by skin-enhancing liquid supplements may well reduce the need for more intrusive skincare treatments - and will certainly benefit our overall health, not just our complexions.

You can find out more about liquid supplements here.

Win A Yankee Candle Riviera Escape Votive Gift Set & £10 Voucher From lovearoma.co.uk

I've been thinking a lot lately about ways to improve your home without spending huge amounts of cash, although it has to be said the Hobbis Towers needs quite a bit of serious renovation.

Aside from changing the soft furnishings or lighting fixtures, a great way to add some pizazz and ring the changes is by using home fragrance.

Caitlin and I absolutely love Yankee Candles and our Christmas treat each year is the Yankee Candle Advent Wreath or, last year, the Advent House. There is something really comforting about the variety of scents you find in these and nothing like the romantic glow of candlelight to add atmosphere and a sense of comfort.

In fact, so obsessed am I by this concept that my Amazon wishlist currently contains "The Art of Hygge - How To Bring Danish Cosiness Into Your Life" by Jonny Jackson & Elias Larsen (available to pre-order).

But it is, of course, summer and to celebrate this Yankee Candles has released it's "Riviera Escape" collection of candles and accessories which you can find at Love Aroma, specialists in Home Fragrance.

As well as their online store, Love Aroma has a number of stores across the country and they stock a wide range of home fragrance products, from candles, to diffusers, lamps and accessories. They have also helpfully categorised their fragrances to help you pick something suitable by room, by fragrance and even by occasion.

The company also has a panel of experts in scent and style who have tested every scented candle, diffuser or room spray for its ability to fill rooms with fragrance and look stylish in the home. The panel members come from a variety of backgrounds including perfumery, wine-making, floral design, events, styling, interiors and baking which gives them a wide range of experience when it comes to advising on scent and style.

The scents in the Yankee Candle Riviera Escape Collection are divine.

There is:-

* Riviera Escape - summery, floral & fresh
* Sea Salt & Sage - warm sage with the clean fresh scent of Sea Salt
* Lavender - evocative of a beautiful garden - in England or abroad
* Summer Peach - sweet, comforting
* Sicilian Lemon - fresh, zesty and crisp
* Olive & Thyme - fresh, herbal, musky

Each scent is available in jar, votive or wax melt size. My favourites are definitely the Sicilian Lemon and the Sea Salt & Sage.

You can also find a wide range of Yankee Candle fragrances in jar size, such as the delicious Mango Peach Salsa Fragrance which we were sent to test in the Medium Jar Size. This fragrance is sweet and zesty with the scent of juicy mangoes and peaches livened with citrus, ginger flowers and pink pepper.

This was definitely Caitlin's favourite!

If you would like to try the Yankee Riviera Escape fragrances for yourself, I have a votive gift set to give away, together with a £10 gift voucher to use on the Love Aroma website.

I also have a discount code for Mother Distracted readers which entitles you to 20% off your first purchase at Love Aroma valid until the end of July. Just enter "MotherDistracted" at the checkout page. There's also free delivery on purchases over £30.

Entry to the giveaway is via the Rafflecopter widget below. UK entrants only and the usual terms and conditions apply. The giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Friday 8th July 2016.

Good luck! a Rafflecopter giveaway

Free & Low Cost Father's Day Treats If You're On A Budget

It's Father's Day in the UK on Sunday 19th June and you may be rushing around trying to find something suitable for the kids to give to their dad. Let's be honest, it usually falls to us mums to sort these things out, doesn't it?

Dads all have their own unique personality, don't they?

But what do you do if you are strapped for cash? For many of us it's an expenditure we can do without.

It is possible to celebrate the day without spending money and by involving our kids we can help them to understand that the true reason behind the day is to show their dad how much he means to them.

For some, Father's Day is fraught with potential difficulties if, for example, parents are separated or divorced. For others, Father's Day will be spent in quiet reflection thinking about the dad who is no longer with them.

These ritual of these annual celebrations is often emotionally, as well as financially challenging.

But if you are all going to be under one roof for the day, here are some ideas you might want to try, depending on the ages of your kids of course.

- let dad have a lie-in!

- bring him breakfast in bed (this one needs quite a bit of supervision in this house).

- record his favourite sports fixtures and let him have a 'sports' day' where he can sit in state in a comfy armchair whilst the kids bring him a drink and snacks.

- make him his favourite sweet - fudge for example is quite easy to make but again you'll need to supervise the kids with that boiling sugar.

- let the kids clean his car - or at least clean out their mess from the back seat (Fruit Shoot bottles, sweet wrappers, crisp packets!)

- dress the kids up as butlers, cooks and servants and get them to serve dinner Downton Abbey style

- get them to write secret messages on the loo roll (well, dads do tend to spend ages in there, don't they)?!

- the kids can make home-made cards and banners and decorate them themselves.

The dynamic duo have a number of cunning plans for Father's Day apparently

- why not make a 'cheque book' of promises from the kids e.g. "I promise to tidy my room", "I promise to help you clean the car", "I promise not to wake you before 7:30 am on a Sunday"

- how about making a scrap book of old family photos that have a special meaning to him or create some online photo collages ?

- get the kids to recreate his favourite TV programme - how about getting them to do a mini 'Top Gear' using their bikes and scooters or toy cars in the garden.

- older kids can write dad a special poem.

- give dad his absolute favourite Sunday lunch - in our house this will involve Sticky Toffee Pudding but the kids could dish up some jelly and ice-cream with sprinkles...

- have a gaming competition - if you have something like a Wii or just a good old fashioned game of rounders in the park, or skimming stones into the sea

- find the lyrics to dad's favourite songs online and get the kids to give him a show. The thought of Caitlin and Ieuan having a Killswitch Engage concert for The Husband is, um, intriguing. Although a whole heap better than an afternoon of Amon Amarth and their shouty Viking rock.

- make hand or foot prints using poster paint and frame them simply with some plain card.

- get dad to play Sherlock. Hide a simple gift like a bar of dad's favourite chocolate in the house and get the kids to write a series of clues to its secret location. If he doesn't find it, he has to share it.

- help the kids to make a sign for dad's shed or his 'man cave' using some strong card. Stick it up and throw a few strings of fairy lights around the space to jazz it up a bit.

No matter how you choose to acknowledge the day, the most important thing is to spend time together.

These days we are all so strapped for time, Father's Day is a great opportunity to make some special memories.

And it doesn't have to cost a fortune.

Win A Beautiful Papilion Lightshade from KaiGami.Com Worth £67

Sometimes you want to freshen up a room without the bother of redecorating. This is particularly true when you have kids. Just the thought of the mess, the dust, the upheaval is enough to make you think twice.

The beautiful Papilion Lightshade from KaiGami.com

A brilliant way to quickly change the look of a room is to play around with your use of lighting and perhaps invest in a new lightshade and I have discovered some beautiful, ornamental shades produced by KaiGami.com which are unique and would definitely be a talking point.

KaiGami is a British company which designs and manufactures functional, aesthetically pleasing, innovative and affordable products for the design-conscious luxury market, whilst exploring premium materials.

One of the things that makes the company different is that 90% of its designs are made using Laser Cutting technology.

Their motto is "The world around you creates you: fill it with beauty” and KaiGami, devised by Guillaume Lyons, draws inspiration from an ancient art form - Origami, invented in the Far East in China in AD 100.

KaiGami follows the principle of origami in the idea that one can create an object from a flat piece of malleable material. KaiGami pieces go beyond the ornamental as each is designed for a specific function and it is important to the company that they support the UK economy by having everything made in Britain.

To create a piece of KaiGami sculptural design a profile, either symmetrical or asymmetrical is cut from a piece of flat malleable material before the final process of creation begins. Once cut the profile is usually bent into shape rather than folded and it is this process that gives each design its curves and volume - quite unlike origami's angular ornaments.

KaiGami lightshades are so unique that they would make an ideal house-warming gift or a present for a design-conscious friend or relative.

KaiGami has kindly given me a Papilion Shade worth £67 to give away.

Inspired by the contours of a butterfly's wings, the shapes created are soft and easy on the eye and evoke the freedom of a butterfly in flight.

The shade is made from Polypropylene, a highly durable material, as are the rivets which hold this light shade together, so it can be easily recycled. The shade is designed to be used with a 60 watt equivalent energy saving lightbulb.

It comes in two sizes: Large Papillion measures: L 50cm x W 50cm x H 30cm Small Papillion measures: L 35cm x W 35cm x H 25cm. The shades come either flat packed or assembled for a small additional charge.

The shade I have to give away comes fully assembled. Entry is via the Rafflecopter below and the usual terms and conditions apply. UK entrants only. The giveaway ends on Friday 1st July at 11:59 pm.

Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Mother Distracted

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Recent Posts

Sunday, 19 June 2016

Win Skippy Peanut Butter & Pretzels - 5 Sets To Give Away

Saturday, 18 June 2016

Relationship Dilemmas - What Was I Asked In Week 24?

Friday, 17 June 2016

New Releases, Free & Bargain Books Link-up 17 June 2016

Is Drinking Our Supplements The Answer To Younger, Fresher Skin?

Thursday, 16 June 2016

Win A Yankee Candle Riviera Escape Votive Gift Set & £10 Voucher From lovearoma.co.uk

Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Free & Low Cost Father's Day Treats If You're On A Budget

Monday, 13 June 2016

Win A Beautiful Papilion Lightshade from KaiGami.Com Worth £67