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Tuesday, 3 May 2016

Choosing The Right Care Home For A Loved One With Dementia


I have written a lot lately about the challenges facing us when our elderly loved ones need residential care.

Woman visiting elderly mother in care home
Source:  Flickr: Jonas Boni
It is probably one of the most difficult, and important, decisions adult children have to make for their parents.

This decision is doubly hard when your mum or dad is suffering from a long-term illness such as Dementia.

Research carried out by Alzheimer's Research UK in 2014 found that older people are more fearful of developing dementia than they are of cancer.

Of the 500 adults over 50 surveyed across the UK, two thirds feared they would develop Alzheimer's while just one in 10 feared getting cancer.

There are currently around 850,000 people with dementia in the UK but as the population ages, this figure is expected to soar in coming years.

Despite this, awareness of the disease seems to receive nowhere near the amount of media coverage given to cancer.

May 15 - 21 is Dementia Awareness Week, the aim of which is to encourage everyone to confront dementia and share their own experiences and concerns in order to offer much needed support and information.

If you are faced with the dilemma of finding a care home to look after a loved one suffering from dementia, care homes provider Barchester Healthcare has homes across the country specialising in different kinds of care, including dementia.

They have a dedicated Director of Dementia Care and a team of Dementia Care Specialists who work across the homes providing further support and training.

Time is spent learning about the different types of dementia that the person may have and how they might best support each resident as an individual, as well as learning what is needed to help your loved one when they are distressed and to promote their well-being.

When my grandmother Jesse went into residential care in Plymouth back in the 80's there was no such option as a care home offering specialist care.  Nana suffered mild dementia and we would arrive to visit finding her already distressed because she couldn't find the kettle or a table-cloth to set out tea.

It is this inability to soothe and to communicate directly to your loved one that is so hard, isn't it? The pressure on those caring for dementia sufferers in their own home must be immense.

If you are at the stage where residential care is needed, Barchester Homes have produced a useful guide to choosing the right home for someone living with dementia.

It contains a useful set of questions and checklists to help make the process a little less stressful. For example, you are guided through issues such as the environment, the approach of the staff and whether the residents seem happy and engaged.

Although dementia cannot be cured, the current renewed focus on this distressing condition and a determination by those offering residential care to give specialist support to families and sufferers can only be a good thing.

Look out for more information about dementia from 15th May 2016.  There is also the Alzheimer's Society National Dementia Helpline which is 0300 222 1122 which provides information, support, guidance and signposting to other appropriate organisations.

*collaborative post
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Monday, 2 May 2016

Kid's Birthday? That'll Be £545 Please.

There's no doubt that the costs involved in raising your kids are rising.

I don't know about you but there seems to be a new expense every two minutes - whether it's for school trips, kits for sports and after school activities and school shoes (which seem to last about 6-8 weeks before having to be replaced).

Little girl eating her first birthday cake - cost of children's birthdays - motherdistracted.co.uk

Christmas and birthdays are times when the expenses seem to ramp up even further.

As Princess Charlotte turns one today,  American Express® has carried out some research into exactly how the costs of a child's birthday can mount up - and the company has discovered that parents plan to spend, on average, £545 to celebrate their little one's birthday.

Now I'm not entirely sure who they asked because a straw poll of mums here in Dinas would find some who will pull out all the stops and others who will happily say "enough is enough" and impose a modest budget which covers all the bases without being overly extravagant.

Here's how the costs in American Express' research mounted up:-

Gifts - £122
Entertainment - £94
Party food - £91
Party venues - £90
New outfits - £85
Party bags - £62

And you don't escape the expense if you're a guest at a child's birthday.  Parents were found to spend on average £32 on presents and £28 on new party outfits.

I suspect that some of these parents are strangers to the words "Mothercare Sale" and are desperate to keep up with the Jones'.

I have always thought you could do away with a child's birthday party altogether and just go straight to handing out the party bag and slice of cake after school because that seems to be the main lure of attending these things.

In fact, if the Sugar Police in our schools weren't so hot on scanning each child for the merest hint of dried fruit in case something that could rot teeth has sneaked in, this is a scheme that would save parents hundreds of pounds each year.

Caitlin Hobbis aged nearly 1 - cost of children's birthdays - motherdistracted.co.uk
Caitlin just before her first birthday in 2008
On the basis that I'd like to save Jamie Oliver the stress of starting another campaign, here are American Express' top tips to help you cut the costs when planning a child's birthday celebrations.

Venue

If the thought of having 20 children running round your house is too much to bear but you don’t want to hire a venue, then local parks or an outdoor play area can be the perfect location for a summer party. Just make sure to check the weather.

There's always your local soft play centre of course (and you know how fond I am of those).

Entertainment

Professional party entertainers are expensive, so keep the stress levels and costs down by doing it yourself. Ask friends or family members who could do simple activities such as face painting. I don't think you can go far wrong with the old favourite party games like Pass The Parcel of Musical Chairs. I did once ask the Husband to appear as Spiderman in a morph suit but he still hasn't "got back to me" on that one.

Party bags

Those little bags can often be the things that cause costs to rack up quickly. So get creative and make them yourself. One of the simplest ways to do this is to fill clear cellophane bags with sweets or pocket-money toys or even put a book into each bag.

Back to haunt the party-ware aisle in your local ASDA it is then. I still have a cupboard full of small bouncy balls and unsharpened pencils.  (Why can you not buy sharpened pencils any more?!).

Go halves

If a friend’s child has a birthday around the same date, then you could coordinate with their parents and throw a joint party. Your child would probably love to share the day with their friend, but you’ll also save money by splitting the cost of the party.

Keep it fun

If the planning becomes hard work, the party could end up feeling forced and often costs rise. Remind yourself to opt for the simpler, easier options. By keeping the guest list manageable and offering a few kinds of drinks and snacks, not only will this be more manageable for you and enjoyable for your child, but you can save some money.

This does, however, lead neatly into the social minefield of how many children to ask to your child's party.  Do you ask the whole class, their special buddies, just relatives? Whatever decision you make has the potential to upset somebody.

I think it's worth reminding ourselves that, in many instances, one or two nice presents, oodles of love and affection on the day, time spent on a favourite activity and perhaps one or two special friends to tea is probably all that is needed to give your child a memorable birthday.
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Sunday, 1 May 2016

My Sunday Photo - 01/05/2016

The Cold Knap Beach, Barry, Vale of Glamorgan - motherdistracted.co.uk
The Cold Knap Beach, Barry, Vale of Glamorgan, South Wales


OneDad3Girls
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Saturday, 30 April 2016

40% of Brits Don't Brush Their Teeth At Least ONCE A Day?

Over 40% of Brits, over 24 million of us, don't brush our teeth at least once a day, according to research undertaken by White Glo toothpaste.

This goes some way to explaining why the guests of Jeremy Kyle's morning TV show are so dentally challenged.



A quarter of those surveyed admitted they are concerned about the colour and health of their teeth with a third saying that they notice discoloured teeth on others.

Although many of us don't bother to clean our teeth, we will admit to being too self-conscious to show our teeth.

Brits aged between 26-34 were found to be the worst at caring for their teeth, with over half not brushing at least once a day (50.87%) whilst the most conscious 'brushers' are the over 55 age group (68%).

The three counties with the best oral hygiene and the lowest number who don’t brush at least once a day were the North East (23%), South East (33%) and East Anglia (37%).

Surprisingly, the three worst offenders were London (47%), Northern Ireland (47%) and Wales (45%).

The research, based on a survey of 2,000 UK adults, was conducted to find out Brits’ feelings towards teeth, not just their own but also those of other people.

Nearly a quarter (23%) admit to be ashamed of their own teeth, with 40% admitting they would never show their teeth whilst smiling and 41% feeling too self-conscious to show their teeth in a photograph.

1 in 10 (10%) admitted to never showing their teeth in any photo.

Surely we all know that brushing your teeth at least twice a day is important to keep teeth and gums healthy?

I've made no secret of the issues I've had with mine but are we Brits really that atrocious at looking after our teeth?

Discolouration, which can be caused by smoking, coffee, tea and other strongly coloured foods and drinks was the biggest concern, with a third (33%) admitting that they noticed discoloured teeth on others and nearly a quarter (23%) admitting that they are concerned about the colour of their own teeth, according to the research.

I don't know about you but I really notice someone's teeth.

I also can't understand why we would take so much care with our skin and hair but neglect an aspect of our appearance so glaringly obvious to others.

If you lose your teeth your face sags.  There is less structure to support your complexion.

No amount of skincare products, luxury or otherwise, is going to help that.

It's the same logic as investing hundreds of pounds on expensive skin products whilst continuing to smoke or drink heavily.

The research says that there may be a glimmer of hope because the stars of programmes like TOWIE and celebrities like Simon Cowell and Rylan Clark flash such bright, white smiles.

There's a healthy, pearly white and then there's the sort of day glo brightness which ensures that you'll never be lost in a cave. I tend to prefer the latter.  When Stacie Soloman appears in those clothing adverts I am so dazzled I never remember what she's wearing.

Using a low abrasion, daily whitening toothpaste is a safe way to gently return teeth to their former glory and lift the teeth a few shades whiter.

As parents we surely spend hours drumming the importance of daily tooth brushing into our kids. We started to clean Caitlin's and Ieuan's teeth from the moment they appeared.

Why would we not invest the same care in our own mouths?

My teeth are still going after nearly 50 years
If you're a dental malingerer for heaven's sake get the toothpaste out and give yourself something to smile about.

Twice daily brushing or the lovely sound of the dentist's drill?

I know which I'd choose.
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Friday, 29 April 2016

Fun In Wales This May Bank Holiday

If you're lost for something to do this on Monday, why not check out one of the great guides below.

You're sure to find an activity you'd like to try.

Just click on the links.

21 Things To Do This May Day Bank Holiday Weekend

As usual, Walesonline.co.uk have a great guide. From Dylan Thomas' poetry in Laugharne to falcolnry in the Black Mountains, there's something for everyone.

Dylan Thomas Boathouse Laugharne - things to do May Day Bank Holiday 2016 - motherdistracted.co.uk
Dylan Thomas' Boathouse At Laugharne
#FindYourEpic with VisitWales.com

Wales is such an amazing country.  Just click on the link about to find a wealth of events near you, from seeing archaeological treasures such as mummies and even Indiana Jones' hat and whip at Cardiff Museum, to learning about artillery warfare in Newport or what about a deep sea fishing trip in Ceredigion?  No excuse for spending another day buying bedding plants at your local DIY superstore....

Cwmcarn Forest - things to do May Day Bank Holiday 2016 - motherdistracted.co.uk
The Beautiful Cwmcarn Forest
Events in The Valleys

There's never a dull day in the Valleys.  What about going on the International Dawn Chorus Walk in Cwmcarn Forest on 1st May or the Annual Nantgarw China Works Antique Fair on the 2nd?

Cadw

Cadw's bank holiday fun includes the Company of the Raven at Kidwelly Castle where you can try your hand at archery, or you can Dare To Meet The Dragon at Caerphilly Castle and be captured by this mythical monster.

Caerphilly Castle - things to do May Day Bank Holiday 2016 - motherdistracted.co.uk
The Majestic Caerphilly Castle
The National Trust

Why not learn to play croquet at Dyffryn Gardens,  walk through wildflower meadows at Lanlay or explore the 17th century beauty of Tredegar House with its wild and flamboyant history?

Or there's the Mother Distracted weekend guide for any time of year.

Caitlin & Ieuan at Dyffryn Gardens - motherdistracted.co.uk
Caitlin & Ieuan at Dyffryn Gardens
Let me know if there are any events I should add!

Have fun!
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New Releases, Free & Bargain Books Link-up 29 April 2016



It's Friday already - where has the week gone?  Whilst we're still waiting for some decent weather, a book and a mug of coffee seems to be the best way to pass the spare time.

I don't know about you but I like to make sure I have a good selection of books on my Kindle so that while I'm waiting for Caitlin and Ieuan to finish ballet or Tae Kwon-do I have something to occupy myself.

There seems to be an awful lot of waiting around when you're a parent, doesn't there?  Although I think I spent just as much time stuck on trains and buses when I was commuting to work in the days when I was child-free and could remember what a lie-in was.

If you're reading pile is dwindling, why not have a look at the fab books on offer this week?

Sharing the Love of Books
Enjoy our selection of New Releases / Free & Bargain Books this week

Click HERE for this week's awesome selection.

Authors please feel free to add your own books
Readers please free to add your own finds
(any genre except erotica welcome)

This weekly link up is hosted by Beck Valley Books & these awesome book loving blogs...
Monday
 Life as Leels | IrishdaisylovesRomance | Book Babble | All Romance Reader
Tuesday
It's My Side of Life | Celticlady's Reviews | First Time Mommy Adventures | Bound 2 Escape
Wednesday
Beck Valley BooksA Library of Reviews | Cinnamon Hollow Reviews
Thursday
Miki's Hope | Taking Time for Mommy | Nicki's Nook
Friday
Ebook Addicts | I Love Romance | A Bit Bookish | Mother Distracted | Colorimetry
Saturday
Totally Addicted to Reading | 3 Partners in Shopping | Angie's Angle I Creat Purty Thangs | Wishful Endings
Sunday
Lynchburg Mama | LibriAmoriMieiAli - The Dragon Slayer | Wondermom WannabeMy Bizzy World |  Deal Sharing Aunt 


For Pre-orders post - PRE-ORDER / genre / title /author
For New Releases post - NEW / genre / title / author
For Free Books post - FREE / genre / title / author / end date 
For Bargain Books post - SALE / price / genre / title / author / end date
(Strictly no Erotica please.  Steamy romance is fine but watch those covers people, incase any underage child is viewing it!)

Click HERE for this week's awesome selection.

And don't forget you can always add some of your own!
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Thursday, 28 April 2016

Child Backless Booster Car Seats - New Rules From December 2016

Changes to the rules relating to the use of backless booster seats for children are coming into force at the end of 2016.

UK law currently states that children must use a child car seat until they're 12 years old or 135 cm (4 ft 5 in) tall, whichever comes sooner.

Little boy about to climb into a play wagon - child backless booster car seats new rules 2016 - motherdistracted.co.uk

In Ireland and in some European countries such as Germany and France, this height limit is higher at 150 cm (4 ft 11 in).

Children under three must be in a child car seat.

If you don't have room for a third child seat in the back of your car, children aged three or under can use the front seat but they must be in a child car seat.

You can’t take children under three on an unexpected journey in a vehicle without a seat belt or the correct child car seat.

The only exception to this rule is if it's in a licensed taxi or minicab and the rear seats are separated from the driver by a fixed partition and the child travels on the rear seats.

If you ignore the law you are liable to a fine of £500.

At present, children weighing as little as 15 kg (2 stone 5 lbs) can travel in backless booster seats

Under the new rules, backless booster seats must only be used for children taller than 125 cm (4 ft 1 in) and weighing more than 22 kg (3 stone 6 lbs).

Child Backless Booster Car Seat - new rules from Dec 2016 - motherdistracted.co.uk
The rules about using these are changing
Many child car seat experts feel that this type of seat is unsafe for young children and you can easily see why.

The only security these seats offer is via the adult seat belt and there is no protection for your child if you are involved in a crash sideways on.

You can easily pull a booster seat back and forward even when your child is sitting on it and there is a risk of them sliding forward on the seat.

The problem is that backless booster seats (or booster cushions) can be bought relatively cheaply, costing anywhere from £10 - £30.

If you have more than one car, or share the responsibility for driving your children about with other family members (such as grandparents), the costs of multiple car seats can really stack up and it is easy to see why booster cushions are relied on.

They can be thrown in the boot or swopped from one car to another in a matter of minutes.

Car safety experts, however, would prefer us to use high-backed booster seats because they guide the adult seat belt across the child's body properly and in crash tests carried out by Which?, they were found to offer much more protection in a side-impact crash than a backless booster seat.

These changes to the child car seat regulations are expected to come into effect in December 2016 but will only apply to new products on the market.

If you plan to buy a booster seat next year, you will have to check the height / weight limit on the seat you buy to ensure that it complies with the new rules.

You can still use the booster seats you have already bought but, given the warnings by safety experts it is worth reviewing the child seats you use to check your family travel is as safe as possible - even if that means investing in new, and potentially safer, child car seats.
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