8 Things Great Parents Do Everyday

If you're anything like me, you never know whether you're doing the right thing raising your child, do you?  Parenting skills don't come naturally to many of us.

It's easy to spend time worrying about what you have, or haven't done and whether your children are truly happy.

Ieuan - The Messy Years!

But I think if you do some or all of the things that great parents do every day, you won't be going too far wrong.

They tell their children they love them

It doesn't matter what age you are, everyone needs to hear that they are loved, and loved unconditionally.  It is unfair to tell anyone that you would love them more if only they did this, or were like that (or cousin Elsie).

They read to their children

We know how important it is to read to our kids in order to improve their literacy and understanding of the world around them.  But the night-time bedtime story is a chance to snuggle up and forge strong emotional bonds that will last a life time.

They listen to their children

Really listening involves removing yourself from any distractions and focusing on the child in front of you who may be telling you about something that has shaken his or her world.  How upsetting to find that your mum or dad is more interested in checking their email on their phone whilst going "um, ah, oh," and not really paying attention.

They say NO.

We are not being great parents if we allow our kids to constantly indulge in habits that are harmful for their bodies and minds.  The occasionally sugary treat is only to be expected but constantly agreeing to sweets and chocolates because we don't want to be seen as "the bad guy" is not helping our children.

They set clear boundaries

Great parents tell their kids exactly what is expected of them and what is acceptable.  This may mean explaining that there are certain words or phrases we don't use, or that lashing out in anger is never acceptable.  Unless we have these conversations with our kids, we cannot expect them to make the best decision for others, and themselves.

They are excellent communicators

Great parents know that they have to find a way to communicate effectively with their children, and that the best way may vary from child to child.  NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) teaches us that everyone has a preferred communication style.  Some of us are 'visual' - we like pictures and diagrams.  Some of us prefer to listen - the sound of the words used is the most important thing.  And for some of us, a kind and loving touch is the most effective way to get the message across.  Who can deny the power of a cuddle?

They are not afraid to indulge their own 'inner child'

I always think great parents are the ones who know how to play and, no matter what age they are, can let their hair down and goof around with their kids.  On a recent visit to Raglan Castle in Monmouthshire with the kids, we spent at least an hour playing hide and seek - and it was hilarious.

They practise self care

Parenting is hard work and a never-ending task.  Great parents make sure they take time out to recharge their batteries and reconnect with their partners.  For single parents, time out with friends is incredibly valuable. As the saying goes, you have to apply the oxygen mask to yourself before you can help others.

Parenting is one of the toughest jobs there is, but if we take the time to step back and honestly appraise our efforts, most of us will see that we are doing a great job and quickly identify ways in which we can be an even better parent and improve our parenting skills.

For loads more parenting advice, visit my parenting page.

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Beat Back Pain With These Tips

As we get older, sadly, we are no longer as flexible as we used to be, which can lead to many problems. One area of the body that can cause a lot of issues is the back, especially the lower area. From constant aching to spasms, back pain comes in many shapes and sizes.

If you suffer from back problems, you will know just how upsetting it can be. There’s not just the pain to deal with, but also how it affects your daily life. Simple tasks like picking up your son for a hug or carrying the groceries to the house can be all it takes to put your back out.

For serious back pain caused by an accident or illness, it’s always best to consult a doctor. For mild back pain, however, the best thing that you can do is treat it at home.

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To help you do that, we have put together a guide to beating back pain yourself. For everything that you need to know, keep reading, below:

Stay active 

It might be painful, but the worst thing you can do is lay still. Our spines are meant to be constantly moved, even when they’re feeling a little sore. Don’t spend the day sat still, get up and move about.

Take the dog for a walk, go to work, do everything that you normally would on a daily basis. While your back is healing, avoid strenuous exercise. Once it’s healed, however, aerobic exercise, like swimming and cycling, can help to keep your back healthy. Weights are a big no-no, but any form of aerobic exercise is perfect for strengthening your spine.

Relieve the pain 

When it comes to fighting back pain, often taking a couple of ibuprofen tablets can work wonders. If you are unsure about what will work best for the type of back pain that you have, ask your pharmacist to recommend something.

You might not like the idea of taking drugs to remedy the pain, but often, they can work wonders. There’s no point struggling with the pain if a couple of tablets can make you feel better, is there? As well as taking medicine to relieve your back pain, you may find that applying hot and cold compresses also helps.

Switch your mattress 

Did you know that 10 percent of back pain is caused by sleeping on a mattress that is uncomfortable? You may not have thought about it, but something as simple as your mattress could be causing your back ache.

If you think that your mattress could be the problem, consider replacing it was a double latex mattress. While buying a new mattress might be a little pricey if it helps to keep your back pain at bay, it’s worth the cost.

Stretch regularly 

Did you know that backache can be caused by not stretching out your muscles enough? To help reduce your back pain and aid healing, take the time to stretch at least twice a day. There are various stretches that you can do to help your back, but the best ones will depend on exactly where the pain is.

Dealing with back pain is never easy; living with it can be incredibly upsetting. However, by following the tips above, you can make beating back pain a little easier.

For more tips on Health, visit my Health Page HERE.

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Plan A Fun, Memorable Trip To Italy With The Kids In Tow

I have always loved to travel. When I was younger, there was nothing I looked forward to more than my next trip away. I could go where I wanted when I wanted. I didn’t need to plan, I could hop on a plane and head off to any corner of the globe I fancied, without a second thought.

Nowadays, however, that’s no longer the case. With a family to think about, including two young children, traveling takes a lot of planning. There is still excitement, of course, but there’s also that massive fear that my partner and I won’t survive the trip, due to the stress.

Photo source

That being said, we still love to travel as a family. It might be a lot more stressful than traveling child-free, but we want to make fantastic memories with our kids. So we always make sure to plan at least one family trip a year. This coming year, Italy is on the cards. So I thought that I would put together a guide to making a family trip to Italy fun and memorable, for yourself, as well as the kids.

Don’t worry about boredom 

The good news is that in Italy, kids are welcome in every region. Being a bright and vibrant place, children will love the look and feel of this fabulous country. They’ll also enjoy the attention they’ll get from locals; Italians are very child-friendly.

The surprising thing about Italy is that in every place, there is something that will excite your little ones. From Gondola rides in Venice and beautiful sandy beaches on the Amalfi Coast to yummy pizzas in Tuscany, Italy is a child’s dream. Not forgetting the fact that Gelato - aka, Italian ice cream, is everywhere.

Be choosy about where you go 

While Italy is a family-friendly place, you’ll still need to be choosy about your destination. Think about the type of trip that you want, and your kids will enjoy. Look at the different destinations, and choose one that suits your hopes for your trip.

Are you a beach family - a trip to the Amalfi Coast could be perfect for you. Do you love exploring cities - Venice is the ideal location for your trip. Are you history mad - Rome could be the best place for you. Each of Italy's regions is different, so choosing your destination carefully, is a must.

The Colosseum in Rome

Pick your accommodation carefully

Once you have chosen a destination, the next step is to select your accommodation. While there are plenty of family hotels, with kids in tow, self-catered accommodation is often, best.

Firstly, because staying in a villa or rental house will give your kids more room to play and run around. Secondly, you won’t need to worry about the noise your children are making. And thirdly, because kids can be fussy eaters, especially when away from home. So having access to a kitchen to cook them something you know they’ll eat is a good idea.

To find the perfect place to stay, have a look at the selection of houses online. Often, you can find some fantastic deals on holiday villas if you shop around. So don’t go with the first option you come across, take some time to look around.

Plan before you go

Once you know where you’re going and have your accommodation booked, start planning the details of your trip. Ideally, by the time you arrive, you should have every detail of your trip planned out. From how you will get around while you are there, to what you will be doing each day.

When there are kids involved, doing lots of planning in advance is crucial. You'll find that your trip is much less stressful, if you plan out as much as possible in advance.

To ensure that your family holiday to Italy is as enjoyable as possible, take note of the tips, above.

Thanks for reading Mother Distracted.  I really appreciate your support and I'd love it if you could share this post across social media. If you’re new to Mother Distracted, why not join me on the Mother Distracted Facebook page, tweet me on @lindahobbis or follow me on Instagram.

For loads more parenting advice, just visit the parenting section of my blog.

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A 7 Step Guide To Choosing The Ultimate Pushchair

When you have a baby, you want to know that they’re going to be safe and comfortable at all times. The majority of people use a pushchair to get their babies from A-B, so you need to make sure you spend a considerable amount of time finding the right one for you. Use this 7 step guide to help you!

Set a Realistic Budget 

Set a realistic budget for your pushchair. You’ll need to consider how long you expect to use it for, whether you’ll have any more kids anytime soon, whether you can sell it on afterwards, and more. Pushchairs are really expensive. You could buy a small second hand car for the price of some of them! But that’s because they specialize in keeping your baby comfortable and safe, and you can’t put a price on that. Set a maximum budget so you can begin looking at pushchairs in your price range as soon as possible.

Compare Models and Features You Like 

Compare the models and features you like before buying. Some pushchairs will come with extras for free, while you will have to pay for others. Make sure you work out what’s best for your budget. Pushchair footmuffs are a good addition for winter, but some models won’t come with them for free.

Do Your Research on Safe Brands

Do your research on the safest brands to put your mind at ease. Many of them are very safe, but there have been product recalls and stories that might make you think twice about buying from a particular brand. Knowing as much as possible before splashing out will really help you.

Read Reviews

If you have one or two models in mind, make sure you read reviews to see how other parents like them. Take these with a pinch of salt; everybody is different. However, if the majority of the reviews say the same thing, you know that you will likely think the same.

Photo credit

Consider Your Lifestyle

Will you want to take your baby off roading through the woods in their pushchair? Or would you rather take them shopping? Consider your lifestyle and what you expect to be doing when you have your baby. Different pushchairs are good for different things, so be smart!

Pay Attention to the Size and Weight

You might be surprised at how large or heavy a pushchair can be. Make sure you pay attention to the model’s size and weight. Will it fit in your car? Will you be able to handle it? It might even help you to go and look at models in store so you can test them out.

How Often You Use the Car

If you use your car very often, make sure you can fit the chair in the back when you need to. It might also benefit you to go for an all in one travel system!

Use these tips and you’ll have the ultimate pushchair for your baby in no time. You can’t put a price on your baby’s safety!

Thanks for reading Mother Distracted.  I really appreciate your support and I'd love it if you could share this post across social media. If you’re new to Mother Distracted, why not join me on the Mother Distracted Facebook page, tweet me on @lindahobbis or follow me on Instagram.

For loads more parenting advice, just visit the parenting section of my blog.

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Five Steps To The Most Wonderful Wedding

Every bride wants their wedding to be absolutely incredible - that’s perfectly normal. You’ll only have one wedding day, so making it the most wonderful experience is important. Not just for yourself and your groom to be, but also for your guests. You want everyone in attendance to have an amazing time, right?

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While most brides know that they want their wedding day to be spectacular, knowing how to go about it can be stressful. I can remember wondering how I would be able to plan every last detail of my wedding - I didn’t think it would be possible. However, by taking the right steps, I was able to plan the most amazing wedding, and you can too.

Here is my guide to five steps to the most wonderful wedding:

Step 1: Choose your venue

Before setting a date or sending out invitations, the first thing that you need to do is choose your venue. If you set a date before picking the venue, you may not be able to get married in the place that you want. That’s why, it’s important that the first step you take is looking at and choosing venues.

Step 2: Set a date

Once you have found the perfect place to say your vows and hold your reception, set a date. It’s important that you set your date at least six months in advance, so that your guests have lots of notice.

As well as being important for your guests, setting the date sooner rather than later is also crucial for your vendors. If you want to ensure that you get the vendors that you want, you need to book them in advance. Obviously, without having a date for your celebrations, this would be impossible.

Step 3: Choose your wedding party

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Before sending out the guest invitations for your big day, you need to select the wedding party. This means that you need to pick your bridesmaids and maid of honour, and your husband-to-be needs to pick his best man and groomsmen.

Choosing these can be difficult, especially if you have a large group of close friends and family. Pick who you want to help you plan your wedding - choose people who you think would be useful when it comes to planning your big day.

Step 4: Send out save the dates, followed by invitations

Once you have set a date and chosen your wedding party, the first thing that you need to do is send out save the dates. These simply tell your guests the date of your wedding, so that they can put it in their diaries. Ideally, these should coordinate in terms of design, with your invitations. So make sure to think the design and style of your save the dates through.

Around a month after sending out your save the dates, you then need to send out your wedding invitations. These should include all of the information about your wedding, including the date, time, location, and dress code. There are various designs of wedding invitations to choose from, what style you opt for is up to you. To get some inspiration, take a look at these classic wedding invitations by Paper Themes and have a browse.

Step 5: Get planning the details

Once you have done all of the above, all that’s left to plan is the ‘small details’ of your big day. This includes picking your colour scheme, wedding dress, flowers, and also, your wedding photography.

Leave yourself at least four months to get all these seemingly small details sorted out. As often, these things can take a while to get sorted. Write a list of everything that you need to do, from choosing a wedding dress to hiring the wedding cars, and tick each thing off as you do it. That way, you can ensure that you won’t forget to do anything.

Wedding planning can be incredibly stressful. However, if you are organised about it, you can make planning a fantastic wedding, much easier for yourself.

Thanks for reading Mother Distracted.  I really appreciate your support and I'd love it if you could share this post across social media. If you’re new to Mother Distracted, why not join me on the Mother Distracted Facebook page, tweet me on @lindahobbis or follow me on Instagram. 

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Teach Your Kids To Save & Understand Money With The Jangle App

If only there was a way of solving the pocket money problem.  It's difficult to know when to give pocket money, how much and on what basis.  What if there was a way to teach kids about the value of money and empower them to make their own (guided choices) whilst earning their treats?

I recently got the opportunity to meet entrepreneur Sarah Willingham (Dragons Den) and the lovely people at Experian and Pfeg (Personal Finance Education Group - part of Young Enterprise) who have been busy creating an app for children aged 7-11 which will teach them how to save and, more importantly to understand the value of money.

Jangle is a clever piece of software which allows the creation of savings pots for specific goals such as buying an iPad or yet another Lego collection. (Ieuan has recently spotted the Millennium Falcon Lego set and I really don't think I'm emotionally ready for that level of foot pain and general frustration).

Caitlin, learning about coins

The child decides on a savings goal which is authorised by the parent.  The child can watch the pot grow as they earn (yes - you read that right - earn) the money by completing tasks around the house or selling unwanted toys or clothing.

Rather than just hand out pocket money or succumb to pleading and all-out stropping in the supermarket, Jangle gives parents a valuable negotiation tool, and children a framework for understanding that there is a direct correlation between earning and spending.

It will also teach children how to be a critical consumer and how to get the most from the money they save.

It's really important that children learn about finance at a young age because, by the time they reach their teens, spending patterns are generally firmly entrenched.

We all know students who have blown their student loan on nights out, beer and clothing before the end of the first term.

And we probably all have friends who live hand to mouth and struggle to put anything by for a rainy day, even though they don't deny themselves any treats.

To me, parenting is about teaching your offspring to survive and thrive in life - and educating them about finance is pretty key in my book.

Did you know that many adult money habits are set from the age of seven (Cambridge University/Money Advice Service (MAS) Research 2013), yet there is no statutory provision for financial education across UK primary schools (PFEG).

Pfeg (Personal Finance Education Group part of Young Enterprise) have found that, on average, children begin to receive pocket money aged seven, own their first mobile phone at eight, and purchase items online at 10, with one in five having used their parents’ or older siblings’ credit or debit card to purchase these items.

Children can open a bank account and have a debit card at 11. At 18 they can apply for a credit card or loan, and before they leave school they have to make crucial decisions about jobs, student loans, and living independently.

Now more so than ever, parents need to be able to talk to their children about how to manage money well but it’s not something that parents often find easy ·

Parents of young children are less likely than the average population to feel like they are good at managing their money (Experian Consumer Affairs TNT Research April 2015).  “Rather than waiting until their son or daughter has 'earned' the privilege of being treated to something new, six in ten parents admit they buy their children the latest trends and collectables as soon as they ask for them” (Skipton Building Society Research 2012).

It's so easy to cave in sometimes just for peace and quiet - but we are not helping our kids by doing this.

Actually it's already working.  Ieuan announced he wanted a transformable bat cave (a mere snip at £40) but then paused and said he was going to 'jangle it'.

The family cars are going to be spotless next year and I'm hoping the pocket money problem will be solved.

The Jangle app for iPad is available to download free from the IOS app store.

You can find out more about Jangle HERE.

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Think You're Forgetful? I Took My Son To Start Nursery A Week Early

I was born a week early. According to my mother, anyway, whose memories of my induced birth, due to sky high blood pressure are sketchy to say the least.

Ieuan

I've been early for things ever since. Meetings, conferences, seminars, exhibitions, theatre performances, I've been early for them all. I have spent countless hours sat in lobbies looking at dreadful carpet, listening to the sort of piped music that makes you yearn for death. I have shelled out hundreds for unnecessary coffees and Danish. I have read acres of dull newsprint and flimsy celebrity magazines.

Whether this is a strange streak of perfectionism (Freud would use a less polite word) or an inherent love of organisation is debatable.

When I was still working, I prided myself on my multitasking and organising skills. I'd arrange numerous events, write and proof-read numerous newsletters and maintain databases without any problem.

In Law, as in any other field, time is money and each unit of time is measured and, if you're a lawyer, billed.

Since I gave up work to have my children (July 2007), it appears all these skills have gone out of the window. Now that 'deadlines' and 'targets' have been removed, I seem to have lost all impetus and the smallest task takes on a Herculean perspective.

You might have thought that with something as important (to me at any rate) as my son's first day at nursery I would, in true helicopter mummy fashion, be there on time, in a non-stained dress with infant duly spruced and perky.

Unfortunately I am mortified to report that, although these 'critical success factors' were partly met, today I took my son to start nursery a WEEK early.

Admittedly I am not 'without form' in the area of the curricular cock-up, having missed a dressing up day and book fair. It doesn't help, I know, that my Parentmail email address is the one I don't really use and I am not really in the 'mummy gang' who congregate there serenely each morning while we bomb up breathless and dishevelled.

It wouldn't have been so bad if Ieuan hadn't practically run in to start playing without so much as a backwards glance. The staff probably think I have some form of dementia or that I drink. The correct date for Ieuan's induction was, it turned out, written at the back of an information leaflet I hadn't fully read. (Why at the blummin' back?!).

So I had to drag him screaming his head off OUT of the school and march back home.

Hubby of course was his usual sanguine self. "Hmm", he said "I should probably have read the leaflet too". My worries about Ieuan now being psychologically scarred were duly dismissed. "He's fine about it", said Hubby, "why aren't you"? Um.... because after 20 years of organisation and method I'm becoming scattier than ... I can't remember what!

So, roll on next week's induction. At least we had a dummy run. A dummy mummy run!

Thanks for reading Mother Distracted.  I really appreciate your support and I'd love it if you could share this post across social media. If you’re new to Mother Distracted, why not join me on the Mother Distracted Facebook page, tweet me on @lindahobbis or follow me on Instagram. 

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