Glossybox Vive La France - July Edition

This is the last box of my six month subscription to Glossybox.

For those of you not aware of the concept, Glossybox is a monthly beauty subscription box containing 5 hand picked beauty samples wrapped in a signature pink box.

Some of these samples may actually be full size products.

This month Glossybox is a collector's edition inspired by "all things French" and claims to be a "tour de force of our favourite French finds that contain ingredients that really work".

The box is curated by Jamie Lee Reardin who is France's "it" artist of the moment who has put pencil to paper for Chanel, Givenchy and Christian Dior and created "Mademoiselle Glossy", who features both on the box and on the cute little travel pouch which is the centrepiece of this month's box.

You can find out more about Jamie on Instagram at @JamieLeeReardin.

Frankly I would have preferred a 'Madame Glossy' but clearly Glossybox is targeting a younger audience who are perhaps more likely to immerse themselves in a wider variety of brands and are less brand loyal than older subscribers.  (Remember the tattoos from last month?!).

Actually, the whole beauty box concept needs a bit of a shake-up I think - where are the boxes targeting the 40+s?

I have written before about the fact that this age group (and higher) is actually where the most disposable income is but, as usual, the beauty industry has not yet worked out what to do with us, nor (with the possible exception of L'Oréal) how to market to us.

I still don't think Glossybox is using the information it collects from its subscribers to maximum effect.  It's still a one-size-fits-all box.

But I digress.  Let's dive in to this month's contents.

There's an interesting mix of products in this box and, yes, they're French.

The strange thing about French skincare products is that they often manage to be very effective whilst at the same time being unremittingly dull and unengaging, lost in a sea of meaningless beauty marketing speak.

The value of this box is a little questionable too.

Aside from Glossybox's own travel pouch (which is valued at £3.99), there is just one full size product in the box and, you've guessed it, it's a lip balm - Lollipops Balm Délicieuse at £4.15.

There is no way of valuing the sample products which are 25 ml, 15ml and 2 x 3 ml.

That makes this box the worst of the six in terms of value.

The move into its own products is an interesting one but a bit of a shame if this is the route Glossybox is going down.

The whole point of a beauty box subscription is to try other brands and to provide a platform for those brands who would otherwise not reach a wider audience.

You can only imagine how difficult it must be to win a spot on the shelves in Boots or Superdrug.

Although perfectly understandable from a business point of view, there's something a little cynical about passing off 'Glossybox' own products as a bona fide item in a beauty subscription box.

Mademoiselle Glossy Travel Pouch - £3.99

So this is centrepiece of the box, the travel pouch designed by Jamie Lee Reardin.

This is a zip-lock pouch to keep your beauty essentials safe through security or for use as an everyday make-up bag.

noxidoxi Enhancing Serum Base Sample Size - 25 ml (Full Size £33.46)

This serum is from Bordeaux brand noxidoxi and has a "CRC6 moisturising complex" (see what I mean about jargon!) to hydrate the skin's surface as well as the deeper layers and includes "a cocktail of antioxidants and anti-inflammatories to protect the skin".

It is to be worn under moisturiser.

Teoxane Cosmeceuticals Perfect Skin Refiner - Sample Size 15ml (Full Size £70)

This is Perfect Skin Refiner for night from Teoxane Cosmeceuticals.

It has hyaluronic acid "to plump and hydrate skin" and 10% glycolic acid to "help resurface the skin". You are advised to use it every other night because you might feel a 'mild tingling' at first.

You're also advised to wear a high SPF during the day.

I can confirm you certainly DO feel a tingling (I'd call it stinging) and if you have sensitive skin I'd be tempted to leave this one in the box.

Vichy Ideal Soleil Tinted Velvety BB Cream, 2 x 3ml (Full Size £15.50)

Then we have two 3 ml samples of Vichy's Ideal Soleil Tinted Velvety BB Cream.

I always find Vichy's products to be very good quality and this BB cream, although quite dark when applied, blends to a really nice finish with a subtle hint of colour.

I'm not sure I needed Glossybox to introduce me to Vichy which you can pick up in Boots, even though it is a French brand in keeping with this month's theme.

Surely there are loads of other French brands just waiting to be discovered.

Lollipops Lip Balm Délicieuse - Full Size £4.15

Lastly, we have yet another lip balm.

This is from Paris-based brand Lollipops - Lollipops Lip Balm Délicieuse, which is described as containing antioxidants and vitamin E.  It's colourless and has a strange sweet taste.

Am I happy?

I would have preferred less art and more product in this box.

A beauty subscription box should be about the products and not the box - and this is the third 'collectors' box I've had out of 6.

Let's not forget that, even though the cost of the box is anywhere from £8.50 to £10, depending on the length of your subscription, the postage is a static £3.25 irrespective of the weight of the box.

Glossybox claims that the minimum value of this box is £52.

I don't think anyone really considers the value of sample sizes in their box because the whole point of a sample is that it is given away FREE at point of sale to encourage sales of the full size product.

So no, I really don't think this month's box is worth a fraction of that.

I have enjoyed receiving my Glossybox each month but most of the products are still sitting in them waiting to be used or, more likely given away.

I may subscribe to another beauty box to see if any of them get the balance right between value of product and the brands they contain.

But for around £14 each month, I may just be better off going to my local highstreet drugstore.

Glossybox can be contacted at www.glossybox.co.uk, on Twitter at @glossyboxuk and on Facebook as www.facebook.com/GlossyBox.co.uk.

*This is a completely independent review based on my own Glossybox purchase.

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What to tell yourself when you're tempted to interfere

It dawned on me last night after yet another "put my foot in it" moment that there is something very simple to tell yourself when you are tempted to interfere, meddle or offer unsolicited advice.

Constantly offering your 'advice' may put you in the dog house!

An interesting concept I have come across whilst reading the acreage of self-help tomes which fill our groaning bookshelves is that our daily lives are very much a product of the thoughts we constantly run in our heads.  And most of these thoughts are endless reruns - like a hamster on a wheel.  Our world, such as it is, is literally constrained by the number and variety of thoughts gambolling through our minds.

Thoughts, according to the Law of Attraction, become things.  Now, you may not believe in magic but if you consider, everything you have created in your life started off as a thought - and this includes the bad things as well as the good.  Your thoughts tend to create your beliefs.  Your beliefs tend to create your feelings and then your feelings release more thoughts which lead to actions. It's a never-ending cycle if you are unaware of it.

It's a bit like constantly running the same old movie over and over again.  Or, you could choose to think of it as reading yourself the same never-ending story.

But, and this is my point, your story is not my story.  You have no way of knowing what is really going on in my head (unless you are a neuro-linguistic programming expert, in which case you may be able to 'read' me quite well).

You can change your own story by unearthing the thoughts which trigger your beliefs.  For example, you may be reluctant to date after a bad relationship because you think you are unattractive, or unlovable.  You may believe you are destined to be alone.  You may feel too anxious to even think about someone new and the resulting action will be to hide at home and to reject the friendly smiles of anyone who tries to strike up a relationship with you.

But this won't necessarily be true for the friend you have been pushing to come out clubbing or bowling or any other form of tortuous organised 'fun'.  (I'm not big on 'organised fun' - can you tell?)

M* is a terrible interferer.  She just cannot help but offer advice, even if it is based on random googling and something she read on Facebook.  M* finds she frequently upsets her elderly parents by offering her thoughts on subjects such as applying for a carer's allowance and buying the right type of mattress for the elderly. She constantly cautions about hiring unvetted workmen and fears (not without some justification) that her parents will be conned into endless charitable donations.

This advice is met with a certain degree of grumpiness and hurt feelings from her parents who feel that they should be allowed to make their own decisions since they are still in full control of their faculties!

This leads M* to add the burden of guilt to her worry and her compulsion to offer advice.

C* has the same compulsion to 'advise' on her best friend's separation and divorce.  She has been pushing her friend to seek legal advice and has told her that she should make sure she has a secret nest-egg to protect herself in the event that her husband 'takes her to the cleaners'.  C* thinks everything should be sorted out immediately whereas her friend is carefully negotiating the mine-field of hurt feelings and coping with three teenage children who are equally bewildered.

And, unsurprisingly, C* finds her advice rejected and there is a certain frost in the air between her and her best friend.

It is so difficult, isn't it, to refrain from offering advice but if you are reaching the stage where you are no longer feeling good about it, and your relationships are suffering, here's what you need to tell yourself.

"It's Not My Story".

Because, you know, it really isn't.  Half the time, the advice we give is already known by the other person.  By the time you get to your 30s, most of us are pretty savvy and know how the world works. We hear what we want to hear.

Of course, if a friend's partner is cheating, or they are being abused then the situation is different. Your actions will depend on your own moral compass and your beliefs.  You may feel you have a duty to intervene - but even then, it's still not your story.

So when you feel compelled to advise or interfere (and especially with your partner who views interfering as nagging),  sometimes it won't hurt to step back and let them make their own decisions. This also applies to your children. We grow by experience and learning how to deal with these experiences, both practically and emotionally.    It's not your story.

Instead of rushing in with warnings of dire consequences from something you've read in the papers, why not take a moment, make yourself a coffee and ask what's happening for you in your story today.

As busy mums, that might be a much needed interference.

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Why I'm buying pregnancy testing kits in my 50's

It's highly ironic, I think, that I have spent more on pregnancy testing kits in my late forties and early fifties than I did in my twenties.

This has nothing to do with not using contraception but everything to do with not knowing exactly whether I am menopausal or not.

My periods now turn up every 8 weeks or so and it seems to be a lottery as to which month they choose to appear.

It can take so long that it's a toss up whether the menopause has finally started, or whether I am pregnant - which, at 51 would be a surprise I really don't want.

In fact, the trip down to chemist for a pregnancy testing kit is far more fraught with mixed emotions than it used to be.

One the one hand a late baby (and mine were already pretty late at 43 and 45) would turn our lives upside down but the thought of no longer being fertile is quite a psychological event in any woman's life.

I can understand why menopause used to be referred to as "the change".

Some women define themselves by their fertility.

They love having babies.

For them, it is the ultimate proof of womanhood.

For many of us though, having children is something we do to complete a relationship - because we believe in family - rather than an obedience to the ticking of our biological clock.

There is plenty of information online about pre-menopause symptoms.

This article at www.patient.co.uk lists no less than 66 symptoms to look out for - including headaches, exhaustion, decreased motor co-ordination, night sweats, insomnia, muscle cramps and backache.

But there is such a wide variety of symptoms that could apply to almost any illness, it doesn't really help you to decide whether you do indeed have menopause symptoms.

Irregular periods are certainly one symptom, as is menopause weight gain, the appearence of a rounder, fuller middle.  And while I suspect I might occasionally have experienced a hot flush or flash (as our American cousins call them), I'm still not entirely sure.

My GP says that, to see whether or not I am menopausal, I would need a blood test  to measure the level of the follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) which can be an indication of menopause, but there is no definitive test.

This could only be carried out if I stopped taking the contraceptive pill.

That sounds way too risky to me so I'm stuck in some sort of peri menopausal wasteland until I haven't had a period for at least a year.

So, what are the chance of conceiving naturally during your 40s and even 50s, and what about pregnancy after menopause?

In your 40s, your chances of getting pregnant naturally are about 20%, falling to less than 5% in your mid 40s and 50s.

There is also the increased risk of chromosomal abnormalities and a higher chance of miscarriage.

Nevertheless, I conceived naturally twice during my mid to late forties so there is hope if you have also left it late to start a family.

In terms of IVF, in your early forties you have roughly a one in five to one in 10 chance of a live birth per treatment cycle.

From age 43 onwards, success rates fall to around one to five live births for every 100 women .

From 43 to 44 onwards, your chances of success using your own eggs really are minimal, because conception rates per cycle of IVF are so low. (source www.babycentre.co.uk).

Also, mothers over 50 are at almost three times the risk of low birth weight, premature birth, and extremely premature birth and their risk of giving birth to an extremely low birth weight baby and the risk of fetal mortality was almost double. (source:  Wikipedia).

Surprisingly. pregnancy after menopause (which you'd think would be impossible since you're not producing any eggs), is possible. Here's an explanation from www.babymed.com.

"Menopause drastically changes a woman’s body. When menopause occurs, a woman no longer gets a monthly menstrual period.

This is because the hormones that trigger ovulation and pregnancy are not longer as strong in the body as they were when the woman was twenty years younger.

Estrogen and progesterone will drop, and this will cause the body to no longer have the ability to get pregnant.

But since the process of menopause takes anywhere from five to ten years to complete, this is an awkward time in a woman’s life.

She will still have a chance of getting pregnant.

 With menopause, the hormone levels will drop, but there are times when they will spike during the course of the change.

At this time, a woman’s body can be able to still conceive a child, giving into the fact that a woman can get pregnant during or what they think is after menopause".

So, even though I know the chances of conceiving are very small, I don't want to take any chances.

If I were to get pregnant through some random last throw of the fertility dice, I would have the baby but as a late mother I am already worried about being in my 60s when my kids leave school.

That's the thing late mothers may not admit to;  the pressure to live longer, not to conk out, to remain a fully functioning parent to support their kids as long as possible.

To undertake this commitment in your 50s must be huge.

The other day I was asked by a lady who had her three children in her twenties whether I thought having children in your forties was selfish.

My honest, and immediate answer was yes.

I've written before that having children is in many ways a selfish act at any age but there is the extra poignancy of having a late baby - a kind of bitter-sweetness overladen with a hefty dollop of guilt.

For the next year or two, I'm guessing I'll be a frequent visitor to the chemist.

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Book Review: Kidnapped in Paradise by Deborah Brown

I must confess that I rarely read fiction these days.

My tome of preference is anything from the Self Help or Mind, Body & Spirit sections.

(I think I may actually have worn the carpet away in my local branch of Waterstones).

So when I had the opportunity to review "Kidnapped in Paradise" courtesy of Beck Books, I thought I'd see if I could rekindle my love of light-hearted, fun, easy to read fiction.

This is the seventh in Deborah Brown's "Paradise Series" so I have managed to be spectacularly late to the party but, despite the fact that I thought I was in line for some twee, romantic froth where all the women have long, honey-coloured limbs and all the men have their own teeth (sorry, too much Jeremy Kyle), I really enjoyed the book. (The synopsis is below and I'm not going to spoil the ending for you).

Briefly, this is the story of two female private detectives who find themselves in trouble when one's ex husband gets embroiled in a drug deal that goes very, very wrong.

Brown's two heroines, Madison and Fabiana are gutsy women who take no nonsense from anybody.

They do not need to reapply lipgloss before setting off on a car chase.

There is a fair old slew of violence that the pair have to withstand and the dialogue is punchy and realistic.

There is an element of romance, but nothing to make your mother blush.

I once made the mistake of lending a Jackie Collins novel to my mum only to be told by my father that he'd taken it off her because it "wasn't doing her blood pressure any good".

No such worries here, I'm happy to say.

Also, although the dialogue is spicy, the text isn't punctuated by profanities which is always a pet hate of mine.

Brown's action is relentless.

There is literally never a dull moment as Madison and Fabiana (private detectives living in the Florida Keys) go from case to case with barely a pause.

The book is fast, funny and very enjoyable.

And, it's quite a rare occurrence when I read a fiction book from cover to cover - as I did with this one.

I'd highly recommend "Kidnapped in Paradise" as a beach read or something to transport you to more exotic climes when you're stuck on your morning commute.

Book Synopsis

In the Florida Keys, trouble is brewing along with the coffee. Friends Madison Westin and Fabiana Merceau search for the mastermind behind gruesome warnings showing up on their doorstep. Fab’s infamous new partner and Madison’s reappearing ex-husband complicate matters in this sexy and humorous action-adventure, the seventh installment of the Paradise series.

Can they slip the bonds of protective custody and solve the mystery before they are Kidnapped in Paradise?

Kidnapped in Paradise, is the seventh novel in Deborah Brown's Paradise series, which can be also read as a stand alone book.

Available to buy from.....

Amazon.com    Amazon.co.uk   Barnes and Noble

"I loved it. Couldn't stop reading; real page turner! Would highly recommend. Can't wait for the next book in the series!" 

"Deborah Brown has done it again. The whole crew of South Florida lunatics are flying in every direction in this, the seventh book of the Paradise series." 

"I love the characters with their attitudes and personalities not always agreeing it is a great read!I hope there is more to come can't wait to see what these two cook up next! Definitely two thumbs up Deborah Brown!"  
above reviews from Amazon

About the Author

I've been writing, in one way or another for as long as I can remember; writing poetry, short stories, a romance novel secretly stashed under the bed and sappy love letters. Fiction should be fun. I wanted to create the perfect beach book, to make the reader laugh, cry and cheer... and then run out and tell their friends about it.

My love of reading began when I was seven, the day I opened the cover of my first Mrs. Piggle Wiggle book. Mrs. P gave lessons to other children in how to behave and to me I learned to love the written word. I live with my family and demon children aka rescue cats in South Florida.

Find the author on the following sites...

  Facebook,   Twitter,   Pinterest,   Google+   Goodreads 

Also available in the Paradise Series

Follow the Book Tour

I received this book to review through Beck Valley Books Book Tours, all the opinions above are 100% my own.

NOW FOR THE AUTHOR'S GIVEAWAY

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*post contains an affiliate link.

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I Like My Holidays Fully Medicated

Readers of this blog will know that I have terrible trouble packing.

Or rather I have trouble fitting in clothing to the metric tonnage of toiletries and tablets I am compelled to take on holiday.

For our approaching week in a log cabin in the wilds of Malvern, I am obviously preparing for sudden climatic change and an outbreak of some terrible fever or ice-cream related injury.

There will be an outdoor hot tub (will it have a mosquito net?) and a hammock (with a gym mat underneath in case of falling out, I'm hoping).

What has all the hallmarks of a really fun place has turned, in the wry twisting of my neurotic mind, into an endurance test a bit like "Ninja Warrior" mixed with "The Cube".

Needless to say, the Husband, who travels around the world with a spare vest and a toothbrush, cannot comprehend how I could possibly be allowing the dark clouds of holiday anxiety to roll not just over my head, but over the whole family.

But then, men rarely do the packing, do they?

Mind you, the Husband says he spends most of the time taking stuff out that I put in so that the car will actually move and we can fit the kids in!! That's after one of his comprehensive car maintenance sessions of course. Cue much huffing and puffing and shouts of "where is the tyre gauge"?

It's ridiculous because nothing usually goes wrong on our infrequent trips  I did, to be fair, spend my 25th birthday in bed in an Egyptian hotel room in Luxor with terrible travellers' tummy.

That particular anniversary was marked by my managing to ingest one finger of a Twix.

An Egyptian doctor was sent to my room who gave me a strange injection in my bottom and wrote a sick note which said I had "psychic problems" (true, my tarot reading is very dodgy).

I was duly flown home by British Airways and felt better as soon as I put one foot inside the plane.

Is it any wonder, then, that I am a bit nervous when travelling, health wise?

My coping strategy is shopping for toiletries and medications and I have been whiling away the odd half hour internet shopping at Chemist Direct, which carries a surprising large range, including an online doctor service and offers a prescription service for both you and your pets.  (You simply order your prescription and post the prescription slip to them).

The brands include the usual favourites such as Colgate, L'Oreal and Vaseline but also some surprises such as La Roche-Posay and Roger & Gallet.

I ordered the La Roche-Posay Anthelios XL Comfort Tinted BB Cream with SPF 50+  at £14.95 which offers UVA and UVB protection with a matt tint and the Roger & Gallet trio of soaps in "Jean Marie Farina" at £12.99.

I have been searching for Roger & Gallet "Fougère" soaps ever since I was an au pair in Paris at 19 but with no luck.

I'm hoping this Mediterranean inspired fragrance will be a good substitute.

In preparation for our holiday, I stocked up on a Stereoplast Holiday First Aid Kit at a bargain £4.95 and a Jungle Formula Plug-In Mosquito Killer at £8.99.

I also found some TravelMAX travel tablets for motion sickness and traveller's tummy which contain ginger as the main ingredient - a bargain 60 tablets for £1.  I'm planning to use these instead of the full strength travel pills to see if the ginger plus the 'placebo effect' might work.

I placed my order on 8th July and received it two days later via courier, on the 10th July.

Everything was well packaged and as I had ordered it.

Delivery is free over £40 or otherwise £3.49 for delivery within 5 working days.

Next day delivery options start at £4.75.

I thought the service was great, the prices reasonable and, unlike shopping in store at the two main big name UK drugstores, there's less of a risk of being lured in by BOGOFs and promotional gifts which tempt us toiletry addicts to spend far more than we should, or need to.

That doesn't mean I won't be having another quick 'check' before we go though.

Doesn't hurt to be prepared for every eventuality, does it?

*A voucher was received for the purposes of this review.

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Help! I'm Going Glamping - That'll Be An Experience

This year, we're off glamping.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that this is an act of bravery not surpassed since I had hysterics whilst abseiling off Merthyr Viaduct.

I am a B&B type of girl. Better still, a 5 star hotel type of girl.

Comfy beds, soft sheets, a deep bath and an exciting range of mini toiletries and I'm happy.

But the thing is, when you have kids, it's not about you any more is it?

I'm working up to the full 'under canvas' experience but at least this year we're giving the kids the chance to (sort of) experience a life slightly wilder than living in a suburban semi.

I did go camping with my parents and my sister a couple of times when I was a teenager.

We stayed on a campsite just outside Stow-on-The-Wold in the Cotswolds and then on a site in Stratford-Upon-Avon a year or so later.

I imagine that camping facilities are much more sophisticated these days but then it was still the wafer thin ground sheet and an 'off with a toilet roll into the bushes' experience.

After a week of sunburn, sleep deprivation and flop bot I was glad to go home.

I admire those mums who chuck their off-spring into a sling, don a pair of Hunters and trot happily off to a festival, irrespective of the threat of hearing damage to their little ones and numerous hideous diseases from the porta-poos.

I wish I could sit on a camping stool knitting my own bunting and teaching my kids about the starry constellations lighting up the night sky.

There is such a romance about it.

This time, there will be an extra challenge for us.

One that never existing even 20 years ago.

There will be no electricity.

So no phone charging or iPad charging.

In the confines of our wooden cabin we will have to, gasp, talk to each other, interact as a family, play games, chat and share confidences.

Isn't that what really makes a holiday though, no matter where you are?

It's the shared experience.

That's a really unique gift to give your children (and will help strengthen your relationship with your partner too).

When I look back on my camping trips now, although I hated the accommodation, I remember the beauty of the Cotswolds - particularly the quaintness of Bourton-on-the-Water and The Slaughters.

I remember sitting somewhere on the edge of a traditional English green watching the locals play cricket in the sunshine.

At Stratford, Mum and Dad took us to see the Royal Shakespeare Company perform Othello (Donald Sinden was the lead) and I can remember it to this day - seeing Shakespeare performed in a truly authentic way, surrounded by an audience so awed by the play you could have heard a pin drop.

(No mobiles going off or the constant irritation of mobile phone cameras flashing in those days!).

So I'm going to grit my teeth and pitch in.

My parents did it for my sister and I so it's my turn to bequeath the same chance of life-long memories to my kids.

And if it all gets too much for me, I'll be investing in some experience days of my own when I come back - starting with a massage and ending with an afternoon tea!

This is a collaborative post.

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Blog Tour Book Review: Be A Happier Parent with NLP by Judy Bartkowiak

Today is my stop on the Be A Happier Parent with NLP blog tour and I am happy to feature an incredibly useful guest post from author, Judy Bartkowiak.

I have been interested in NLP for many years but my studies have been mainly concentrated in the business and marketing, and personal development arenas.

Using NLP to improve our parenting skills and our relationships with our kids makes perfect sense and offers us all a great tool to boost our self esteem as a family.

I see NLP as an incredibly valuable set of tools to gift to our kids to help them both now, as they face the challenges of school and in later life.

In case you're wondering what NLP is, it stands for neuro-linguistic programming.

This is a method of influencing brain behaviour ("neuro") through the use of language ("linguistic") and other types of communication to enable a person to "recode" the way the brain responds to stimuli ("programming") and manifest new and better behaviours.

Judy's book explains the concepts and philosophies using a blend of helpful case-studies and exercises for you to do both as a parent and with your children.

Judy reminds us of one of the key points of NLP that "the map is not the territory" - in other words what we think (our map) is not necessarily the reality (the territory) and how we see the world as adults is vastly different from how our children see it.

Spending time together doing the exercises in Judy's book will certainly help to at least put parents and children on the same map, so that they can go forward and explore the territory together!

This is a book to be kept as a useful reference for times when the usual responses to stressful situations just don't work (yelling, anyone?) and I really recommend you take a look.

Below is Judy's advice on a particular topic of interest to all parents - how to manage your child's anxiety.

Managing Anxiety

From time to time your child will feel anxious before exams or new situations in their life.

You might even find that something they usually do with no problems becomes a problem for no apparent reason.

Anxiety doesn’t disappear because you tell a child that there is no reason for it.

Notice though that even though they might feel anxious about one situation they won't be anxious about everything.

By focusing on that thing they are anxious about may not be as helpful as focusing on the things they are brave about because sometimes children are inclined to generalise.

They are anxious about this thing so therefore they are an anxious child and it can become their identity.

Teachers and you and your partner may step in and become over protective because of the anxiety but in fact they may be resentful that this has now become an issue.

How they are brave in some situations will be the strategy for how to be brave in other situations where currently they are anxious so ask them about it.

Find out how they are brave.

You may find that for them knowledge is important, maybe the more they know about the situation will help assuage their anxiety.

For another child it may be about how you present it to them.

Some children are highly visual and have a great imagination so something they can't imagine because it is new to them will make them more anxious than someone who is more auditory or kinaesthetic.

In this situation maybe you can find pictures to show your child to enable them to get a handle on the anxious situation.

An auditory child will be more anxious about situations where it could be noisy or excessively quiet, where someone is shouting at them or where they aren't allowed to express themselves.

Again, find a way to talk about it with them because for an auditory child that will help them feel less anxious.

A kinaesthetic child will be anxious because of how they feel, the atmosphere, the temperature even.

They will be more tuned into this than a visual or auditory child.

They need some sort of physical way to calm themselves down.

Anchoring is a good way.

Here's how to do it and this will be a helpful technique for all children.

1. Tell them that you are going to ask them about a time when they felt really great, brave, confident, able to do anything, go anywhere.

2. Then when they have this time in their mind ask them to close their eyes and imagine that this is that time right now. They are feeling this right now so as they feel great, who is there, what can they see, how do they feel, what do they hear? They need to imagine it but if they want to they can tell you all about it.

3. When they have that moment in their mind they are to squeeze their earlobe.

4. Repeat the exercise a few times, in between goes, give themselves a little shake to ' break state'.

5. Remind them that when they next feel anxious they can use their anchor by squeezing their earlobe and remembering the time when they felt great.

You can find out more about how to help your child with anxiety by liking Judy's Facebook Page Family NLP https://www.facebook.com/FamilyNLP or downloading her app from the website www.nlpfamily.com or http://www.nlpfamily.com/nlp-app.html where tips are posted regularly on this issue.

About the book

"Be A Happier Parent with NLP" gives you the skills you need to raise a confident, secure child in a confident and secure manner. The book uses the tried, trusted and proven techniques of neuro-linguistic programming to help tackle areas in which you may feel you lack confidence as a parent, while at the same time giving you the skills to help your child be happy, fulfilled and confident him- or herself. You'll find yourself feeling less guilty, more in control, and communicating better with your child--at the same time be able to support your child in difficult situations and help him or her grow into a well-rounded adult.

Includes: Personal insights from the author's many years of experience of working with children Practical exercises to help you engage with the book and act on what you learn One, five and ten-minute introductions to key principles to get you started Lots of instant help with common problems and quick tips for success, based on the authors' many years of experience Tests in the book and online to keep track of your progress Quick refreshers to help you remember the key facts.

Information about the book:

Author: Judy Bartkowiak

Title: Be A Happier Parent with NLP

Genre: Non-Fiction, Self-Help, Living and Learning

Publisher: McGraw-Hill

Pages: 209

Published: January 1st 2011 

Goodreads Link

Amazon Link

About the author

Judy Bartkowiak is the author of ‘Be a happier parent with NLP’ a guide to using life coaching skills to enhance your parenting. Judy and her husband Edward have four children – Lucy, Alex, Jess and Paul and live in rural Berkshire with their dogs Roxy and Holly and nine hens. Other NLP Family (www.nlpfamily.com) titles are:


Workbooks

NLP for Parents
NLP for Children (5-10yrs)
NLP for Tweens (11-14yrs)
NLP for Teens (15yrs+)
NLP for Teachers
NLP for New Mums
NLP for Weight Loss
NLP for Work
NLP for Back to Work

Self-Esteem Workbook
NLP Workbook
Secrets of the NLP Masters


Judy Bartkowiak comes from a business background where she worked with Toy companies and TV production companies helping them to understand children and their relationship with brands such as LEGO, Baby Born, Bratz, Thomas the Tank Engine, Pocoyo, Fireman Sam and many other well-known names.

She runs Kids Brands Europe alongside her NLP training and coaching www.kidsresearch.co.uk and has a Facebook Kids Panel for Market Research which is done online or from her home.

She has an NLP training and coaching practice NLP Kids www.nlpfamily.com, specialising in child and parenting issues and runs Kids Brands Europe (www.kidsresearch.co.uk) as well as writing for children as JudyBee.

Judy loves playing tennis and reading as well as spending time with her family.

Email Judy judy@nlpkids.com for your FREE mini book ‘Be a happier parent with NLP’ and apply code ‘Blog’ to get 10% discount off Judy’s books at www.nlpandkidsbooks.com

You can follow the rest of the tour HERE.

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