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Tuesday, 7 July 2015

England's Football Lionesses are "going back to being mothers" - the FA's own goal

If you blinked, you might have missed it.  Yesterday the FA welcomed the England Women's Football Team on their return from the World Cup with the following tweet (which was rapidly deleted).

Source:  www.telegraph.co.uk
It read "Our #Lionesses go back to being mothers, partners and daughters today, but they have taken on another title - heroes."

The author of the tweet, James Callow, Content Editor at the Football Association rejected any allegation of sexism. He said, on his own Twitter account, "the piece is intended to sum up a nice moment when players are reunited with their families. Human interest is a big part of any sports reporting. I'd have done the same for England men, absolutely."

This did nothing, however, to avert the media storm which led to the tweet being featured on the front page of the Metro and covered on other media outlets such as Sky. Allegations of sexism and patronisation of the women by the FA flew.

My take is that the tweet was badly worded but unfortunately hinted at what mothers suspect some men really think of professional women - that their jobs, their vocations, their sporting activities are something done to pass the time when not up to their ears in dirty nappies and pureed fruit.

Are women still defined primarily by whether or not they are a mother?

I have never seen news coverage which suggested that the England Squad were "going back to being fathers" after their last (dismal) World Cup attempt.  Nor have I seen male soldiers returning to greet their families to speculation about the amount of DIY waiting for them to get their teeth into.

I worked for over 20 years before having my kids, reaching director level in the last law firm in which I was employed.  Now, I'm a full time mum and there are some who really don't know how to pigeon-hole me.  Am I just a drain on the tax-payer (even though I contributed since the age of 17)? Is my value to society reduced because I am not inputting data in an office somewhere?

I'm sure many of my fellow Stay-At-Home-Mums are familiar with the echoing silence that occurs in conversation when they are asked what they do and reply "oh, I'm at home full time with the kids".

We can't win either way can we?  It sometimes seems as if we're neither valued as mothers or employees (or entrepreneurs!).

Just because I currently am lucky enough to be able to raise my kids full time does not mean that I have become a one-dimensional, cardboard cut-out unable to contribute in other areas.

Has anyone ever asked JK Rowling when she is going to stop writing and go back to being a mother?

Mothers, whether working or not, are all raising the next generation which is endless, tiring but ultimately life-affirming and beyond value.

This does NOT mean that we are unable to stand shoulder to shoulder to our male peers in every sphere - whether professional or sport.

And this is not a feminist rant.  I am not tarring all men with the same brush.  Today men are often as likely to be at home raising kids as their partners - and risk the same social alienation and identity issues as women.

But implicit in that misguided tweet is the fact that even in 2015 women are somehow expected to choose what they want to be famous for.

The legacy of the Lionesses in this World Cup has been to bring women's football home to many of us who previously haven't taken that much notice of it, all without flash cars, ridiculous pay packets and falling out of nightclubs.

The FA might want to take a look at its definition of  "sportsmanship" - and avoid any future own goals.
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Monday, 6 July 2015

6 reasons to take your child to the optician

Ieuan has morphed seamlessly out of his Spiderman phase (at the point, obviously where we have just invested in a new costume for him) into his new alter ego of Harry Potter.

Ieuan as Harry Potter
No, the scar probably isn't accurate!
We have just watched the entire box set of Harry Potter DVDs and we were all totally transfixed.

Mind you, given the number of pairs of glasses Harry breaks during the series I hope he had them insured.

This has led to Ieuan wandering around in an old wizard robe from his cousins and sporting a very fetching Potter-esque scar (black eye liner - well I've given up trying to do that cat-eye eyeliner thing so I may as well use it for something).

His new most precious possessions are his Harry Potter glasses and wand.

There is a certain degree of irony in the fact that he happily wears these glasses all day and is delighted now I have given him an old glasses case to keep them in.

I started to wear glasses at age 11 - the old-style, black NHS frame - and I hated them.

I still hate wearing glasses to this day due to my OCD but the difference in frames, both in terms of materials used and styles, is vast.

Both the Husband and I are short-sighted so the likelihood is that both Caitlin and Ieuan will end up wearing glasses or contact lenses.

Perhaps they may even opt for laser eye surgery - something which didn't exist back in the days when I was struggling to see the blackboard in 1975!

In fact, opticians Optical Express advise that children should have an annual eye exam, even if they are not yet wearing spectacles and there are several very good reasons for this.

Children can be tested at any age but children's eyes are fully developed by the time they are 8 years old so it is very important to have any problems detected before this, not least because, if left undetected for too long, some sight defects cannot be corrected.

Nowadays only 60% of schools provide eye tests and, even then, this is not a full eye test carried out by a pediatric optometrist.

Distance vision is checked but the test may not pick up all levels of long-sight and an eye exam carried out by a registered optometrist is advisable.

You should also consider the following:-

The eye exam will check general health, not just that of the eye.

Any defect in vision can be picked up and quickly rectified.

Poor vision may impact on learning in school - your child may not be able to see the whiteboard clearly, for example, and you are unlikely to know this without the benefit of an eye exam.

Excessive use of iPads and too much 'screen time' may lead to tired eyes, eye strain and headaches - which may impact on vision.

Eye infections and eye injuries (such as a foreign body in the eye) are better diagnosed by opticians than by your GP (who will not have the equipment needed to thoroughly examine the eye).

Glasses are no longer 'uncool' - there is a great range of child friendly glasses.

All children under 16 qualify for an NHS voucher entitling them to a free eye test.

If your child needs glasses they will also qualify for an NHS voucher that enables them to choose free glasses from a selected range or most opticians will have a budget friendly range of glasses for kids.

Caitlin goes into Year 3 in September and Ieuan starts Year 2.  I'll be getting both their eyes tested, just in case, although I hope that they both have a few more years' glasses free.

It's best to be on the safe side, though, isn't it?

This is a collaborative post.
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Sunday, 5 July 2015

My Sunday Photo - 05/07/2015


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Saturday, 4 July 2015

Review: Vionic Shoes With Orthotic Technology

Thanks to Fighting Fifty, the lifestyle website for those of us lucky enough to be embracing this fabulous decade, I was given the opportunity to road test these extremely colourful, and comfortable trainers from Vionic.

My Venture Walker Vionic Trainers - £85 from QVC
Now I've turned 50 (well, 51 actually) I'm finding that exercise is more important. When I was younger, it was relatively easy to keep the weight off but nowadays I seem to be developing a cross between a mum and a menopausal tum.  Yes, I'm "mumpausal"- an entirely new syndrome for us older mums to wrestle with!  So one of my birthday resolutions was to get off my butt and start moving.

I have to confess being unaware of the Vionic brand but had a major "a-ha" moment when I discovered that Vionic is endorsed by the much respected American doctor and best-selling author on holistic health, Dr Andrew Weil MD.  Even more impressive is the fact that Dr Weil donates all of his after-tax profits from the royalties on sales of Vionic orthotic shoes to his not-for-profit foundation - "The Weil Foundation" which is dedicated to supporting integrative medicine through training, education and research.

Vionic shoes were developed by Phillip Vasyli, a renowned Australian podiatrist and founder of Orthaheel Technology. This leading orthotic technology is based on more than 30 years of podiatric success and Vionic sandals, shoes and slippers are bio-mechanically engineered to hug your arches, which supports natural alignment.

This means that the shoes help combat heel pain, ball of foot pain, shin pain, knee pain and, of greatest interest to me, back pain.

Mr Vasyli's theory is that constantly walking on flat surfaces such as pavements and wearing footwear which does not support our feet, leads the feet to roll inwards (over-pronation) when we walk, which in turn leads to these different types of pain. Vionic shoes have an orthotic footbed which help lift your arches and stop this chain reaction of pain from developing.

I was sent the Venture Walker which has a lightweight, durable mesh and man-made overlay to give breathability and comfort.  The shoes have a removable covered EVA footbed and the bio-mechanic, orthotic footbed (FMT Orthaheel Technology) mentioned above that naturally aligns your feet and reduces over-pronation (the rolling inwards). The EVA midsole absorbs shock to help reduce the impact on your knees and ankles.


I have to say that I found the shoes incredibly light and comfortable to wear with no noticeable negative effect on my legs or back. I mention this because when I started to wear my Fitflops (readers of this blog will be familiar with my love of them), I definitely noticed some mild muscle tenderness and tightness for the first couple of times I wore them.

You can definitely feel the orthotic device in the shoes cushioning the arch of the foot and, having walked several miles in these now, I would be quite confident wearing them on long walks or going sight-seeing in them. I've been wearing them on the school run and I am much better at keeping up with Caitlin, and particularly Ieuan, who goes everywhere at an easy canter, now my feet are properly supported.  I'm not promising but I may even break into a jog occasionally.

Vionic shoes are now available in the UK at www.qvcuk.com and there are a great variety of styles and colours to choose from. If you do suffer from foot-related pain and you have a holiday coming up or you are looking for better support from your work-out footwear, I'd suggest you take a look at the range.

Incidentally,  if you are, like me, "fighting fifty",  check out the Fighty Fifty website at www.fightingfifty.co.uk..  You can also tweet them at @fighting_fifty or talk to them on Facebook at www.facebook.com/FightingFifty.
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Friday, 3 July 2015

Wedding Dresses For Mature Brides

This is the second in my series of features about bridal wear by www.venusbridal.co.uk.  In this post, we're considering the type of wedding dresses more mature brides may prefer.

I know that when I married at 45 (for the first time!) in late September 2011, I didn't want a 'meringue'.  Hands up, I did try a few wedding dresses, but much as I wanted to look like Scarlett O'Hara, I just didn't feel comfortable with all that froth and voluminous material.  And since we were having a civil wedding ceremony in a hotel, acres of train and anything uncomfortable to sit in was also unsuitable.  For my bridal headpiece, I also discounted a veil and went instead for a more modest tiara.

wedding dresses for mature brides

I think that if you choose a simpler style, you can make up for it with embellishment and extra detail, for example crystals or extra lace.

Anyway, here is the advice from Venus Bridal.

Wedding Dresses For The Over 40's

Maybe you have found love late in life or it’s your second time around. Whatever the reason for being a mature bride, one thing doesn’t change, choosing your wedding dress will be one of the most important decisions you make for your special day. You’re not a baby but neither are you old. You are in your prime and you deserve to look amazing.

wedding dresses for mature brides


There has been no better time than now to be a mature bride. Most of the taboos have gone and you can wear what you want. There are no rules and all you need to do is find the perfect dress for you. With this in mind there are two things to accomplish - looking fantastic and feeling comfortable.

Many late brides want to feel like themselves and not as if they are in costume. In a recent mature bride survey, most of the participants said they wanted some sort of sleeves on their wedding gown, with 3/4 length being the most popular. When it came to necklines, the number one choice was the V neckline. Many went for streamline silhouettes, like a sheath or medium full A-line, and a lot of the late brides preferred a shrug or a jacket to a wrap.

All in all, the general preference was more coverage but without feeling matronly and the desire to feel relaxed.

Then there’s the choice of what type of style of gowns are most suitable for brides who are 40 plus.

Contemporary

Fashion trends keep moving all the time, so do the trends of wedding gowns. However, age is no barrier to looking sleek and current.

Classic

A classic wedding dress does just what it says on the packet. It doesn’t date and it’s always in vogue.

wedding dresses for mature brides

Vintage

Choose the era you love for an individual look on your special day. But whatever year, a vintage dress is bound to add glamour to your day.

Two Piece

Two pieces can be more versatile than one. The outfit can be traditional or why not be more daring and mix and match.

As with any bride, mature brides need to play to their figure strengths and hide any weaknesses.

Empire waist

While the empire dress fits well on most body types, it is especially suited for those brides with a smaller bust since it draws attention to the neckline and creates definition. The design of the empire dress is also ideal for covering other unwanted body features such as a long torso, short legs, or a pear shaped figure. Since the dress flows from the bust line, it can easily leave these areas undefined.

Strapless with a jacket

A stylish jacket worn with a strapless bridal gown with look elegant and will cover the back and arms, which can sometimes be a problem area.

wedding dresses for mature brides

A-Line

The A-Line style dress is flattering to all figure types and is a great choice of style for older brides.

Lastly, you will need to think of what material you want your dress made out of. Many mature brides prefer something that is care and wrinkle free. Draping fabrics such as satin, chiffon or polyester silk blends that require less maintenance are a popular choice for brides getting married in their later years.

Once you’ve decided more or less what you want the fun begins, as remember, the perfect dress is out there waiting for you, no matter what your age is.

This blog post was written by Venus Bridal, bridal gown designers and manufacturers who provide timeless, glamorous and diverse wedding gowns to stockists throughout the whole of the UK.
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Thursday, 2 July 2015

Why Getting Divorced May Lose You Your Friends

My friend J remarked the other day that she was sure she was being deliberately ignored on Facebook.  What had been a lively page full of fun banter and conversation now had the social media equivalent of drift wood blowing across it.

What if there's no happily ever after this time round?

J is in the middle of a messy divorce, having left her husband in a move which has led to the family living in two different towns.  After 25 years of marriage, though, J says she and her husband had simply just grown apart and life at home was becoming unbearable for her and her three teenage children. She has a new partner which has probably led to a judgement that "there's no smoke without fire" and got fingers well and truly wagging.

It's not surprising that J has found herself left out and ignored, because the truth is that when one of the couples in your friendship group splits, everybody starts to examine their own relationship.

It's said that the only people who know what goes on in a marriage are those in it. I think every marriage has a secret contract - the real reason that a couple stay together.  This would explain why some will put up with endless cheating - because they are validated as a person in other ways.  For some, simply being in a partnership is enough.  (Note I am not talking about domestic abuse or violence here and if that is your situation I urge you to seek help and talk to somebody about it).

It's the 'smug married' syndrome Helen Fielding's singleton heroine Bridget Jones loathed and yearned for in equal measure.

So why would your friends shun you when you split?

Jealousy - rarely admitted but I'm sure that some may wish they were brave enough to take the first step to long-desired freedom

Embarrassment - we never really know what to say. Should we mention your divorce? Should we mention your ex?

Loyalty to your ex. They were your ex's friends first - no matter how shoddily he or she may have behaved, long-standing friends may feel compelled to remain loyal

Disapproval - yes, some of your friends will  judge and they won't approve.  There are those whose attitude to marriage is that you suck up the bad times and make it work.  People's boundaries for cheating also differ hugely.  For some kissing someone else is unforgiveable.  Others will put up with the occasional fling as long as there is no love involved.

On the other hand, you are likely to find that one friend who becomes your new ally, confidant and sounding board.  These are the friends who love others' misery and are there like a shot to ramp up the bitterness and criticism of your ex.  You know these kinds of people because an hour in their company leaves you feeling worse and full of self doubt.  The advice these people give will be of the "take him / her for every penny", "you gave them the best years of your life" and "you deserve to be happy" variety.  The latter of course is true but I think if you have children, your own happiness should be second priority to ensuring that they come through the ghastliness of a family separation as unscathed as possible.

Parental divorce hits teens and young adults just as hard as younger children. (There is an excellent article on Parental Divorce and Adolescents here.) Where possible mediation should be considered so that both parties can discuss matters in an adult way and move forward with the needs of their children fully addressed.  This is likely to be far more productive than listening to the advice of your new confidante who may not even have your best interests at heart.

What if you are the friend, wondering how best to behave?  Bear in mind that siding with either party is a risky strategy if there is the remotest chance that they will reconcile.  You will be the one left with egg on your face if you have advised "making them pay".

I would advise polite concern.  Is there anything you can do to help?  Could you babysit the children or take them out so that the couple have a chance to talk?  Could you damp down gossip when it arises by changing the subject or refusing to be drawn?

Could you help your friend by accompanying them to a solicitor or mediator?

The most positive thing you can do is probably just to listen without judgement (not always easy).

No matter what you think about the partner who has instigated the divorce, they are still their kids mum or dad - and no child wants to be on the receiving end of negative comment or gossip about their parents.  These things have a way of coming back to those discussed.

Everybody in this situation needs to act as an adult.  Unfriending on Facebook, unfollowing on Twitter and any other form of social media alienation, no matter how tempting, is not really the mature way to deal with things.

Friends are harder to come by and keep as we get older and if your friend instigated the divorce, I'm sure they would far prefer to put their side of the story, than find themselves suddenly shunned.

And one day, you may find you need their shoulder to cry on.





Everything Mummy

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Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Review: ClaireaBella Medium Jute Bags for Girls

You may remember I recently posted about my lovely personalised jute bag made by ClaireaBella. Loved by celebs and previously featured on ITV's This Morning, I bought my personalised bag during one of stockist Toxic Fox's occasional discount offer periods and both Caitlin and I fell in love with it.

Since then, the ClaireaBella range has exploded with a whole raft of girls' accessories which can be personalised - not only jute bags but hoodies, t-shirts, mugs, wine glasses and phone covers to name just a few.

Caitlin was overjoyed when she recently got the chance to have her own ClaireaBella medium jute bag courtesy of Toxic Fox.  The bags are an ideal birthday present for girls of all ages and great for taking on holiday to pose on the beach!





How are the bags personalised? Simply go to the Toxic Fox website, click on ClaireaBella and then select the most appropriate dress design, hair style, hair colour, eye colour, skin tone and name (up to 12 characters) for you, then sit back and wait for your unique bag to arrive. You can design your own 'aBella' character in about a minute and it is really easy to do. 

Choose your outfit and then customise eye, hair, and skin colour and choose an accessory.





And it's so simple, Caitlin designed hers in a couple of minutes. In fact she revisited the application quite a few times to play around with different looks and combinations.



In terms of quality, the bags are very well made and the jute is of a sturdy quality. Caitlin's is a Girls Medium Jute Bag which measures 30 cm wide x 27 cm high with a 15 cm gusset. The handles are nicely rounded so that the bag is comfortable to carry.  You can have a name up to 12 characters painted on your bag.



The bag also features Swarovski elements, a cute rosette bow, a 'hand made with love' silver charm and a gorgeous rosette and bow. Each design is also surrounded by matching bubbles. Because there are so many ClaireaBella impersonators out there, each bag also says "yes it's a ClaireaBella" on the reverse.

The jute bags can take up to 15 Working Days to produce as they are hand-made with love. Because each bag is hand painted by a fully trained ClaireaBella artist there may be some slight colour variations, but this makes every bag unique.

The Girls' Medium Jute Bag measures 30cm wide by 27cm high with a 17cm gusset and is priced at £34.99 with free delivery when you spend over £40.

More information is available at ClaireaBella at Toxic Fox. @ClaireaBellaLtd on Twitter or on Facebook.

Be warned though,  Caitlin already has several "mum & daughter" shopping trips planned so we can show off our ClaireaBella personalised bags!



This is a collaborative post..
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