Playing Princesses With Caitlin

This morning, Ieuan went to his best friend's birthday party (dressed as Ironman for a change) and I stayed home with Caitlin. She announced she wanted to 'play princesses'.

It's funny isn't it, but we often forget that all our children really want to do is spend time with us; to have our undivided attention.  This is particularly important when the second child arrives and arguably more so when you have one girl and one boy.  Ieuan is lost in a world of superheroes and girls are woefully under-represented in the superhero department, save of course Bat Girl and Wonder Woman.  Playing princesses is something Caitlin rarely gets to do.

Now that I am in my 50's I have to confess that my princess days may be somewhat behind me and now that the distance between girlhood and womanhood is wide, play of this sort requires quite a bit of role play and memory retrieval on my part! This is one of those aspects of late motherhood you don't take into consideration.  But it's important. We teach our daughters to be women, don't we?

So we got out our dresses and my wedding tiara, which Caitlin has been coveting and played dress up.

This is, apparently, what Caitlin wishes I dressed like every day.  I love the world of a young girl where there are no bars to wearing tiaras whenever you feel it.  It's a bit of a shame, isn't it, that the pressure to conform makes some of us so uncreative with our dressing (and, admittedly, lazy!).

In amongst the talk about dresses and jewellery, confidences were shared and questions asked that would not have been mentioned if the topic had been raised directly - how old was I when I had children, what happens when you get old, will she have to move far away if she gets married. Questions shyly asked in a quiet space where the answers were thoughtfully received and digested. Usually,  it's a struggle to get much acknowledgement at all.

And really, how much time do we have for shared moments like these?  Our children don't grow up so much as sprint away from us it seems.  I will make sure that I spend far more one on one time with both my kids because, no matter how well you seem to know them when they play together, it's the time spent with them as individual people that I think may pay the greatest dividends.

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Silent Sunday / My Sunday Photo - 24/05/2015

Ieuan's growing up.

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Hey Prezzo - Much Pasta, Pizza & Colouring

It being the first day of Half Term, we decided to combine birthday present hunting with lunch in one of our favourite eateries, Prezzo in St David's Shopping Centre, Cardiff.

This is, like my other food reviews a completely independent post. I always think that eating out with kids can sometimes be quite a testing experience and many UK restaurants are either not the biggest fans of children or are poorly equipped to meet the needs of families.

So since I like to share my experiences with you, here goes.

This particular restaurant is not the biggest but it is well set out and has a roaring pizza oven at one end. This does make it rather warm.  We were sat on a seat where the table had to be pulled out and pushed back once the kids were ensconced so getting up to go to the loo (yes the kids have inherited my bladder) meant much getting up and down and moving the table.

Prezzo have a well thought out children's menu with three courses and a drink for £6.50.  (Pizza Express' Piccolo Children's Menu is the same price).  Prezzo's children's menu comes on a double-sided puzzle sheet so that the kids can colour and do puzzles to (hopefully) keep them occupied and quiet.

Caitlin and Ieuan started with the Mini Garlic Bread without mozzarella.

The kids' Mini Garlic Bread

It was a generous portion which despite looking rather lonely on the plate, was hot and very tasty.

Mat and I shared a starter of Bruschetta (cherry tomatoes, basil, red onion, pesto and garlic on a baked flatbread) which came as a generous sized portion and incredibly fresh.

The Bruschetta

For their main course, Caitlin chose a Grilled Chicken Salad and Ieuan had Cheese & Tomato Pizza with Pineapple. We were all amazed at the portion size which would have, frankly, suited an adult with a smaller appetite.

Grilled Chicken Salad from the Children's Menu

Cheese & Tomato Pizza from the Children's Menu

Mat chose the Chicken Ravioli with Pancetta, Leeks and Peas in a Carbonara Sauce, which he said was delicious.  Prezzo make their own pasta and hand fill the ravioli.  Everything is cooked fresh, rather than zapped to death in a microwave (a pet hate of mine).

Chicken Ravioli

I had the Vesuvio Pizza (Light) which has double pepperoni sausage, red chilli, mozzarella and tomato.  It came with a fresh mixed salad and dressing.  The pizza base is a flat bread which makes a refreshing change from the standard pizza base.

The Vesuvio Pizza

It is not as hot as Pizza Express' American Hot but extremely tasty nonetheless.  After this, Mat and I were so full, it was just coffees for us but the kids managed an organic fruit lolly each.

Caitlin with her Organic Fruit Strawberry Lolly

Ieuan's usually a little angel - once he's been fed!

Our bill (which also included one glass of wine and a beer) came to £58 which we thought compared well to the other chains.

The staff were very pleasant and friendly.  The restaurant and toilets were clean and we felt the food had a nice, home-cooked feel.  Definitely recommended.

Further information at www.prezzorestaurants.co.uk.

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My Hearing Loss: I lost my consonants & I've trouble with my vowels

It's funny, isn't it, that we think nothing of wearing glasses (well, I do, as you might have read HERE) but hearing loss is a completely different issue that seems to be rarely talked about.

About three or four years ago I went for a routine ear clean at the University Hospital of Wales (I actually have a loyalty card for that hospital now), and was given a hearing test which showed I had early onset deafness - mild to moderate hearing loss at mid frequency in both ears.  To say I was horrified at being diagnosed with a hearing impairment is an understatement.

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I could not believe it, despite the fact that I had been wearing glasses since I was 11, setting a precedent for my body's ability to have one or two slightly ropey bits.  I was offered one hearing aid to try and I remember feeling quite tearful.  A few years later, I have two hearing aids, largely to help with the additional irritation of tinnitus.

My mother, whose own mother was one of 12 children, helpfully volunteered that one of her many cousins had "had a bit of trouble with their ears".  She was, sadly, unable to recall the cause, or the degree of the problem.  My paternal grandfather was also quite deaf but this may have been a result from fighting in Burma in World War I.

My tendency with any medical complaint is to seek not only a diagnosis but the actual, undeniable, set-in-stone cause (paging Dr. Google!).  As I get older, I realise that things just happen to our bodies. That's life.

I have to confess that I am still in denial and that I wear them my hearing aids intermittently.  The difference is a bit like switching the world back on.  It's amazing how much you miss when you can't hear - the little pleasures of life which are so easy to take for granted.

- birdsong
- rainfall
- a cat's purr
- the hiss of a coffee maker in a coffee shop
- the tones and additional melodies in music
- TV dialogue which is either too quiet or drowned out by backing music

Worse than these, and why I will get over my reticence of wearing the damn things is that I had forgotten the true volume and pitch of my children's voices and the sound of joy in their laughter.

Deafness at my level is an irritation.  When I go to a pub (minus my hearing aids) I have to sit next to my friends to hear them or directly opposite to lip read.  I am always telling the Husband off for trying to talk to me whilst looking out of a window.  We are like a comedy double act (me:  "can't you speak up, you know I'm deaf", him: "put your bloody hearing aids in!!!).  It's not unlike one of my favourite episodes of Fawlty Towers with the deaf Mrs Richards where she refuses to wear her hearing aids because it runs the batteries down.

I find that I can hear the vowels in a sentence fine.  It's the initial consonants I completely miss. The brain, being quite clever (well, not mine necessarily but you know what I mean) spots the gap and fills it for me - with something completely random.

"you want to see that jelly gone?"
"No, mum I want the telly on"

"You want to have a rhubarb crumble"
"No, move those shoes in case Ieuan stumbles".

You get the picture.  It's like a highly dysfunctional episode of Countdown.

In all seriousness though, I can see how totally isolating deafness must be.  But I also understand how difficult and frustrating it must be for loved ones.  We need to think a little more, I feel, about how we treat those with hearing problems. We need to develop the patience to listen to them, to explain ourselves, to adjust our volume.  Otherwise the person suffering the hearing loss feels like they are existing in a huge ocean, where everything is muffled and they are left behind like seaweed on a rock abandoned by an ebbing tide.

So yes,  I need to wear my hearing aids.

The flip side of this is that we need to be so much more careful with our own hearing and teach our children how to protect theirs from noise induced hearing loss.  I used to listen to a Sony Walkman far too loudly.  I used to listen to my stereo by lying on the floor with my head between the speakers. I didn't go to too many gigs but I went enough to come out with my ears ringing.

I cringe when I hear people drive by with their car radios blaring or, more commonly these days, people on their car phones with the volume up so loudly you can hear the entire conversation.   I'm uncomfortable at the trend for children's discos (where I find the music too loud)! I can't believe, either, how loud the volume in cinemas is. I'm told that damage is mitigated by the use of surround sound but I don't believe it.  Read the Tinnitus boards on Facebook and you will find that many, like I do, carry artists' (musicians) ear plugs at all times to protect their ears.

One of the articles I read recently claimed that the number two problem for military personnel returning from war zones (after PTSD) was tinnitus and hearing related problems. Nothing in my league, of course, but an indication of how soul destroying unmanaged hearing loss can be.

If you think you need your hearing checked, I would suggest you talk to your GP first.  There are also many places where you can get a free hearing test - many opticians offer them now.  There should be absolutely no stigma about wearing hearing aids, as there is none about wearing glasses any more. You will be amazed at how much you may have been missing.

If you have any questions about my experience, feel free to tweet me or email and I'll answer as honestly as I can.

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32 Ways To Tell They're Just Not Into You

I'm sure you've had loads of dating tips about winning the man or woman of your dreams.  But what happens when the spark starts to fade?  Have you ever spent time with a couple where it was obvious that one half of the couple was just itching to get away and the other half was completely oblivious to the fact? What if, scary thought, you are the oblivious one? How do you identify the difference between a true lover and a fake lover?

There's surely nothing more damaging to your self esteem than finding out the partner you thought was your dream date can't wait to get away.

So, to ensure you can keep your head held high and your heart intact, check out the list below the next time you are on a date or spending time with your lover.

Here's how to spot the signs.

1.  They are frequently late for dates.

2.  You have to chase for a follow up date.

3.  They never phone when they say they will.

4.  They always text and never phone.

5.  They are always on their phone - even on dates.

6.  They are always 'working late' or have to go for a drink after work far too often.

7.  They never talk about you as a couple.  It's always 'I' and never 'we'.

8.  Months on and you still haven't met their relatives or close friends.

9.  They are not making future plans with you.

10.  They don't like holding your hand in public.  Public displays of affection are definitely out.

11.  They never take you anywhere new.

12.  They forget your birthday.

13.  Valentine's day is a "load of commercial rubbish" they refuse to acknowledge.

14.  They never want to dance with you.

15.  When they do dance with you they're eyeing up the rest of the room.

16.  Women you've never met or even heard of greet them in a way that just a tad too familiar when you're out together.

17   They try to check your behaviour. A bit too lairy when you've had a drink?  They'll be telling you to shush.

18.  They don't want to linger over coffee.

19.  They always have to leave early because they have an urgent appointment next morning.

20.  They would rather watch TV than go out

21.  They flirt openly on the basis that 'they're just being friendly and are like that with everyone'.

22.  They don't hold doors open for you, or help you with your coat.

23.  If you're ill they say "oh dear,  I'll catch up with you when you're better then".

24.  They never offer to pay.  Or expect you to pay for everything.

25.  They criticise your appearance or weight.

26.  Their clothes are always immaculately ironed but you've never seen an ironing board.

27.  There's a strange white patch of skin on an otherwise tanned wedding ring finger!

28.  They smell of a different perfume.

29.  They always pay by cash (card payments can be traced).

30.  They always take you to out of the way restaurants and pubs where you don't know a soul.

31.  When you stand close together, their feet are pointing away from you, ditto legs when they sit cross-legged.

32.  If you feel instinctively in your gut they're not really interested,  you're probably right.

Are there any others you'd add to this list? Remember.  You deserve someone who loves and values you just as you are.  Don't put up with anything less.

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Struck Dumb At The Hairdresser? Who Hit My 'Mute Button'?

Something very curious has started to happen to me and I noticed it most recently at the hairdresser.

Now I know that there are ways to communicate effectively with your hairdresser.

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For example:-

- discuss the look you are aiming for with your stylist before you are whisked away to the washbasin

- bring a picture of the style you would like (so much easier now with Instagram or Pinterest)!

- tell the stylist a bit about you - need a smart style for a corporate environment?  Something 'wash and go' if you've got kids?

- ask how easy your style will be to maintain at home.

- if you are having your hair coloured, ask how frequently you may need to return for root coverage and maintenance.

No, I'm talking about the strange phenomenon of finding myself unable to speak and tell my hairdresser and his team what I want.  

For example, my hairdresser likes to cut my hair dry because he says it's easier to chip into thick hair but I prefer a 'wet' cut.  Do you think I can tell him this?  "I'll cut it dry, as usual" he says.  "OK then", I squeak.

I have a dodgy jaw and hate having my hair roughly washed so I always ask the shampooist (quite politely) to avoid being too enthusiastic when shampooing.  "Oh yes" they always say.  

Two minutes later my head is pinging back and forth like a football and I'm thinking "I really should say something" but I don't.  And then regret it.

Everyone else gets a coffee.  Do I ask for one?  If I'm feeling brave.  Perhaps I'm not their favourite customer but I am always polite and never forget to tip at least 15%.  

I can't decide if it's some latent social shyness I've developed, some odd menopausal symptom perhaps.  I suspect it's one the Husband will be very happy about but surely at 50+ I should now be able to ask for exactly what I want without giving a stuff if I am being 'difficult' (a British term which usually means demanding the service you are actually overpaying for)!

On the other hand, there are things I definitely will ask for.  

Don't try seating me by a draughty door in a restaurant or serving me an overpriced glass of house red from a bottle that contains last night's dregs.  

Don't push in front of me in bus queues or swear in front of my kids.

But, if the dentist makes me wait for 45 minutes and then apologises,  "that's OK" I'll chirp. If a sales assistant tells me the item I want "is not there if it's not on the shelf",  I just shrug in resignation.  

What about you?  Have YOU lost your voice?  

Do we get less assertive as we get older?  Whilst having one of the highest levels of disposable income? 

It doesn't make sense, does it?

Many women around my age start to say they feel invisible. Time to take a stand ladies.  We will be heard! - Tweet that!

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Summer's Best Maxis - Take Your Style To The Max

I love maxis.  So wearable. Dress them up or down and they'll take you from the school run to a dinner date.  Throw on a shrug or scarf and it doesn't matter if the British weather is a little inclement. Best of all, there are beautiful dresses to suit every budget.

Here are some of my favourites so far this season.

M&S Limited Edition Floral Maxi Dress - £45

I love the olive colour of this dress which makes a change from the traditional floral pattern and the tassels add a fun touch. It's available in sizes 6 - 18.

Reiss Arleta Floral Maxi - £225

This is a beautiful floor sweeping dress from Reiss which would not be out of place at a summer wedding. It's available in sizes 4-14.

ASOS Pleated Swing Maxi Dress - £65

Gorgeous dress, gorgeous colour.  It's very hard to beat ASOS for on trend but purse friendly fashion treats. It also comes in black and is available in sizes 4 - 18.

Wallis Monochrome Scarf  Print Maxi £48 reduced to £33.60

I love Wallis Maxis and have quite a few in my wardrobe.  I'm not sure that this season's collection is Wallis' strongest but I love this one which would be incredibly easy to accessorize.  It's available in sizes 8-20.

F&F Floral Embellished Maxi - £55

I love this feminine, floaty dress which has an embellished neckline and cut out detail on the chest. It's available in sizes 6-18.

Jessica Wright Sweetheart Neck Panel Bodycon Maxi Dress - £80 at House of Fraser

Not your run of the mill daytime maxi, but how much va-va-voom does this fabulous maxi from the Jessica Wright collecton have?  Available at House of Fraser in sizes 6-14.  (16 is current out of stock).

Myleene Klass D-Ring Maxi Dress - £100 - Littlewoods.com

This is a lovely dress in a hot raspberry colour which has contrasting straps in white at the back. Available in sizes 8 - 20, it would set off a tan nicely, should you be lucky enough to find the sun this summer.

Joanne Hope Lace Maxi from JD Williams - £55

This is a body lined maxi which comes in two lengths (43" or 52") and comes in cobalt, coral, ocean green and navy.  Available in sizes 12-32.

Embellished Maxi Dress from Marisota - £60

A lovely maxi which has embellished detail to the waist and would an ideal summer wedding guest outfit.  Be quick though, stock is quite low on most sizes (12-26) which size 12 and size 20 already sold out.

Don't forget, before you go shopping on line to check what voucher codes may be available at voucher sites like topcashback.co.uk [my referral link] or www.vouchercodes.co.uk. Just a few minutes of searching on line can often save you 15-20% or at least get you free delivery.

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