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Thursday, 21 May 2015

32 Ways To Tell They're Just Not Into You

I'm sure you've had loads of dating tips about winning the man or woman of your dreams.  But what happens when the spark starts to fade?  Have you ever spent time with a couple where it was obvious that one half of the couple was just itching to get away and the other half was completely oblivious to the fact? What if, scary thought, you are the oblivious one? How do you identify the difference between a true lover and a fake lover?

There's surely nothing more damaging to your self esteem than finding out the partner you thought was your dream date can't wait to get away.

So, to ensure you can keep your head held high and your heart intact, check out the list below the next time you are on a date or spending time with your lover.


Here's how to spot the signs.

1.  They are frequently late for dates.

2.  You have to chase for a follow up date.

3.  They never phone when they say they will.

4.  They always text and never phone.

5.  They are always on their phone - even on dates.

6.  They are always 'working late' or have to go for a drink after work far too often.

7.  They never talk about you as a couple.  It's always 'I' and never 'we'.

8.  Months on and you still haven't met their relatives or close friends.

9.  They are not making future plans with you.

10.  They don't like holding your hand in public.  Public displays of affection are definitely out.

11.  They never take you anywhere new.

12.  They forget your birthday.

13.  Valentine's day is a "load of commercial rubbish" they refuse to acknowledge.

14.  They never want to dance with you.

15.  When they do dance with you they're eyeing up the rest of the room.

16.  Women you've never met or even heard of greet them in a way that just a tad too familiar when you're out together.

17   They try to check your behaviour. A bit too lairy when you've had a drink?  They'll be telling you to shush.

18.  They don't want to linger over coffee.

19.  They always have to leave early because they have an urgent appointment next morning.

20.  They would rather watch TV than go out

21.  They flirt openly on the basis that 'they're just being friendly and are like that with everyone'.

22.  They don't hold doors open for you, or help you with your coat.

23.  If you're ill they say "oh dear,  I'll catch up with you when you're better then".

24.  They never offer to pay.  Or expect you to pay for everything.

25.  They criticise your appearance or weight.

26.  Their clothes are always immaculately ironed but you've never seen an ironing board.

27.  There's a strange white patch of skin on an otherwise tanned wedding ring finger!

28.  They smell of a different perfume.

29.  They always pay by cash (card payments can be traced).

30.  They always take you to out of the way restaurants and pubs where you don't know a soul.

31.  When you stand close together, their feet are pointing away from you, ditto legs when they sit cross-legged.

32.  If you feel instinctively in your gut they're not really interested,  you're probably right.

Are there any others you'd add to this list? Remember.  You deserve someone who loves and values you just as you are.  Don't put up with anything less.

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Wednesday, 20 May 2015

Struck Dumb At The Hairdresser? Who Hit My 'Mute Button'?

Something very curious has started to happen to me and I noticed it most recently at the hairdresser.

Now I know that there are ways to communicate effectively with your hairdresser.

Hairdresser cutting lady's hair - struck dumb at the hairdresser - motherdistracted.co.uk
www.photl.com
For example:-

- discuss the look you are aiming for with your stylist before you are whisked away to the washbasin

- bring a picture of the style you would like (so much easier now with Instagram or Pinterest)!

- tell the stylist a bit about you - need a smart style for a corporate environment?  Something 'wash and go' if you've got kids?

- ask how easy your style will be to maintain at home.

- if you are having your hair coloured, ask how frequently you may need to return for root coverage and maintenance.

No, I'm talking about the strange phenomenon of finding myself unable to speak and tell my hairdresser and his team what I want.  

For example, my hairdresser likes to cut my hair dry because he says it's easier to chip into thick hair but I prefer a 'wet' cut.  Do you think I can tell him this?  "I'll cut it dry, as usual" he says.  "OK then", I squeak.

I have a dodgy jaw and hate having my hair roughly washed so I always ask the shampooist (quite politely) to avoid being too enthusiastic when shampooing.  "Oh yes" they always say.  

Two minutes later my head is pinging back and forth like a football and I'm thinking "I really should say something" but I don't.  And then regret it.

Everyone else gets a coffee.  Do I ask for one?  If I'm feeling brave.  Perhaps I'm not their favourite customer but I am always polite and never forget to tip at least 15%.  

I can't decide if it's some latent social shyness I've developed, some odd menopausal symptom perhaps.  I suspect it's one the Husband will be very happy about but surely at 50+ I should now be able to ask for exactly what I want without giving a stuff if I am being 'difficult' (a British term which usually means demanding the service you are actually overpaying for)!

On the other hand, there are things I definitely will ask for.  

Don't try seating me by a draughty door in a restaurant or serving me an overpriced glass of house red from a bottle that contains last night's dregs.  

Don't push in front of me in bus queues or swear in front of my kids.

But, if the dentist makes me wait for 45 minutes and then apologises,  "that's OK" I'll chirp. If a sales assistant tells me the item I want "is not there if it's not on the shelf",  I just shrug in resignation.  

What about you?  Have YOU lost your voice?  

Do we get less assertive as we get older?  Whilst having one of the highest levels of disposable income? 

It doesn't make sense, does it?

Many women around my age start to say they feel invisible. Time to take a stand ladies.  We will be heard! - Tweet that!

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Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Summer's Best Maxis - Take Your Style To The Max

I love maxis.  So wearable. Dress them up or down and they'll take you from the school run to a dinner date.  Throw on a shrug or scarf and it doesn't matter if the British weather is a little inclement. Best of all, there are beautiful dresses to suit every budget.

Here are some of my favourites so far this season.

M&S Limited Edition Floral Maxi Dress - £45
I love the olive colour of this dress which makes a change from the traditional floral pattern and the tassels add a fun touch. It's available in sizes 6 - 18.

Reiss Arleta Floral Maxi - £225
This is a beautiful floor sweeping dress from Reiss which would not be out of place at a summer wedding. It's available in sizes 4-14.

ASOS Pleated Swing Maxi Dress - £65
Gorgeous dress, gorgeous colour.  It's very hard to beat ASOS for on trend but purse friendly fashion treats. It also comes in black and is available in sizes 4 - 18.

Wallis Monochrome Scarf  Print Maxi £48 reduced to £33.60
I love Wallis Maxis and have quite a few in my wardrobe.  I'm not sure that this season's collection is Wallis' strongest but I love this one which would be incredibly easy to accessorize.  It's available in sizes 8-20.

F&F Floral Embellished Maxi - £55
I love this feminine, floaty dress which has an embellished neckline and cut out detail on the chest. It's available in sizes 6-18.

Jessica Wright Sweetheart Neck Panel Bodycon Maxi Dress - £80 at House of Fraser
Not your run of the mill daytime maxi, but how much va-va-voom does this fabulous maxi from the Jessica Wright collecton have?  Available at House of Fraser in sizes 6-14.  (16 is current out of stock).

Myleene Klass D-Ring Maxi Dress - £100 - Littlewoods.com
This is a lovely dress in a hot raspberry colour which has contrasting straps in white at the back. Available in sizes 8 - 20, it would set off a tan nicely, should you be lucky enough to find the sun this summer.

Joanne Hope Lace Maxi from JD Williams - £55
This is a body lined maxi which comes in two lengths (43" or 52") and comes in cobalt, coral, ocean green and navy.  Available in sizes 12-32.

Embellished Maxi Dress from Marisota - £60


A lovely maxi which has embellished detail to the waist and would an ideal summer wedding guest outfit.  Be quick though, stock is quite low on most sizes (12-26) which size 12 and size 20 already sold out.

Don't forget, before you go shopping on line to check what voucher codes may be available at voucher sites like topcashback.co.uk [my referral link] or www.vouchercodes.co.uk. Just a few minutes of searching on line can often save you 15-20% or at least get you free delivery.
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Monday, 18 May 2015

Summer Time & The Walking Shoes Are, Um, Flat

OK. Confession time.  I have spent all winter in these.  My feet have barely seen daylight since last August and it is definitely time to spruce them up in anticipation of much posing in swanky Cardiff bars and intimate dinners for two at some of our restaurant hot spots.

I've walked miles in these - as you can probably tell.

What is more likely, of course, is that I will be visiting our usual haunt of Pizza Express, followed by a spin on the carousel and a bit of a sit down on the comfy seats in the Millennium Centre whilst Ieuan runs amok in the children's area (Millipwts) and Caitlin coerces me into the gift shop.

Oh, Yes!  I'm Ready

It's a source of constant disappointment to the Husband that I don't saunter everywhere in high heels since I unwisely told him I wore them all the time in my days as a wage slave in Legal Services. I was going to say "when I worked" but I don't feel I've stopped working since I gave birth. On one occasion I was late for an interview in Bristol and actually ran from Bristol Temple Meads Station to the city centre wearing stilettos.  This is clearly, in the Husband's mind, the sign of a "real woman".

Then there's the matter of the school run. There are mums in our playground bravely wearing heels but they are few and far between.  Other mums wear their running trainers, some wear flipflops and still others are welded into their comfy boots.  These days, I can't bear to compromise between style and comfort - and I need a pair of summer shoes I can actually run after Ieuan in.

Ieuan currently runs everywhere, barely pausing for breath and so the Husband has no choice but to sprint after him, with Caitlin and I bringing up the rear. Caitlin, though, is feeling left out.  "Mum", she said to me last week in an accusing tone, "you don't run, do you?". Then, more alarmingly, "I know, why don't the two of us go out for a run one morning".  I'm currently avoiding this by claiming I can't run "because my glasses may fall off" but I don't think I'm going to get away with it much longer.

We must be a very odd sight in the mornings resembling some sort of family obstacle race with much lolloping, ambling and flat out running.  Needless to say, all the other parents and their kids tend to walk sedately together, holding hands and making barely a sound.  Ieuan stands at the traffic lights bellowing "oh come ON lights, the girls are catching up".  

So, I think a good pedicure is in order and then some shopping for sandals.  I'm tempted by the lightweight comfort offered by Skechers Go Walk range.  Not least because I can tell Caitlin they're only designed for walking and I'm sure she'd approve of the hot pink ones.  And if the Husband starts nagging, I'll tell him he can buy his own heels.  Grayson Perry never seems to have any problem, does he?




Do you live in your 'old favourite' shoes or do you like to treat your feet with different pairs?


This is a collaborative post.



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Sunday, 17 May 2015

Silent Sunday / My Sunday Photo - 17/05/2015





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Saturday, 16 May 2015

Glossybox - May Edition - Summer's Calling

This is box four of a six month subscription to Glossybox. For those of you not aware of the concept, Glossybox is a monthly beauty subscription box containing 5 hand picked beauty samples wrapped in a signature pink box. Some of these samples may actually be full size products.

This month Glossybox is all about getting ready for summer - beautifully. It contains "all the essentials you need to prep for the balmy days ahead".








I was ready for a change of products and was pleased to find Glossybox had mixed it up a bit this month. I'm not sure I could have coped with yet another lip balm. Unlike last month's box, which looked a bit spartan, this one looks good value as soon as you take the lid off. Funnily though, the actual value of this month's box is hard to gauge. It contains two full sized products worth £22.88 together and three sample products, one of which is £3.99 and the value of the other two aren't listed. The cost of each box is £10 plus packaging (£3.25), so I have still received more than I paid for.

The box contained:-






The star product in this month's box is the MeMeMe Enchanted Eyes Dual Ended Eye Wand which has two blue tones. The shadows are beautifully soft and do not drag on the skin - always a pet hate of mine. The full size product costs £6.95 but MeMeMe are offering 25% off all orders made on their website by the end of May using the special Glossy code.




The second full size product in this month's box is the Aloe Vera Ultra Moisturising Gel by Etre Belle. This product is designed as an instant rescue product, being a cooling gel which is claimed to deliver moisture "deep below the surface" and help post sun skin. I am always suspicious about claims that a product can penetrate the dermis (deeper layers of the skin) but this gel does offer a cooling effect (albeit fleeting) and absorbs quickly. I did find it rather sticky but you would need this to help the product to last long enough to soothe sun sore skin. The Etre Belle Aloe Vera Ultra Moisturising Gel costs £15.93 and is available from their website at www.etre-belle.co.



The first sample product is Zerreau's Towel Off Shampoo Foam in a 70ml size which retails at £3.99. This is the next generation of dry shampoo, say Glossybox. It has a towel off foam formula which allows you to wash your hair without water. You apply, massage it in and towel it off. This product is infused with a delicate apple scent so your hair smells fresh. The full size product (180ml) retails at £7.95.



The second sample and fourth product in the box is coincidentally from a range I had already heard about. SASS is a new range which claims to maintain your 'intimate harmony and help to prevent unwanted smells, has products which are dermatologically tested and gynaecologist approved and are not tested on animals. The range includes cleansers, freshness mists and gels and an anti-dryness product.

The one in the box is SASS Intimate Perfect Skin Concentrate which is meant to soothe the skin and reduce hair growth post-shave. It has exfoliating ingredients including salicylic acid and fruit enzymes which, SASS say, "delicately exfoliate to ensure ingrown hairs are a thing of the past". The product retails at £12 for the full size. There is a sample of 30 ml in the box. Time will tell with this one. I have not tried it but the mention of salicylic acid makes me a bit wary. The SASS range is exclusively available at www.boots.com.



The last of this month's treats is a sample size of Philosophy's renewed hope in a jar refreshing & refining moisturizer. Philosophy is a range I have heard of but never tried, finding their price point a little high, compared to the many lower priced excellent moisturizers out there. This product is said to be a favourite from "celebrities to top dermatologists". It is said to work to "reduce the appearance of lines, discolouration and uneven texture". I can see where it got its name from. Any fans out there? I'd love to hear if it's worked for you. The full size product retails at £35.50 and is available from boots.com. If you want to try this product, you can get £7.50 off when you buy either the moisturizer or eye cream using the Glossy code before 23 June.

Am I happy? Again, yes. I must admit I do enjoy the arrival of my Glossybox each month. It's like receiving an extra birthday present. Full marks to Glossybox so far.

Do you subscribe to a monthly beauty box? Which one is your favourite and are there others I should check out?

Disclosure: This is a completely independent review; The Glossybox subscription is my own purchase.

Glossybox can be contacted at www.glossybox.co.uk, on Twitter at @glossyboxuk and on Facebook as www.facebook.com/GlossyBox.co.uk

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Friday, 15 May 2015

Revision Tips To Show Those GCSE's Who's Boss

It's the time of year again when revision stress wreaks havoc in family homes and our youngsters (and sometimes not so youngsters) feel the nightmare of the approaching exam season.




You will find reams written on the subject of revision and mine include some of the common sense basics.  


But I've also included what worked for me.  I studied the old 'O' and 'A' Levels, got a Degree in English Literature and later spent a couple of years studying Administration for Personal Assistants (sadly no James Bond included) and Chartered Institute of Marketing qualifications, so I have done plenty of studying and completely understand that lurch of the stomach when you contemplate the moment when you are asked to turn your paper over. 


I have also tutored in English to GCSE standard and understand how confidence sapping and stressful the revision process is if you don't grab it by the scruff of the neck and show it who's boss.   I have also seen the consequences of leaving your revision until the last minute - clue, not great grades.


So let's, um, revise some of the things you need to do: 

1.  Plan your revision timetable.


As well as studying, allocate time within it for eating, sleeping and some leisure activities (yes, browsing Facebook, Twitter and Snapchat is not classed as revision!).  Filling it with wall to wall studying is unrealistic and will make you just want to bin  / delete the whole thing.


2.  Start weeks before.  Not days.


As soon as you have the dates for the exams, arguably even sooner, you should be starting your revision.  Re-read your course notes.  Make sure you have actually read the set texts and re-read them.  I remember in University being told by one (possibly over zealous) English lecturer that you don't really 'know' a novel until you have read it at least FIVE times.  Clearly, this may not apply to non-fiction texts but I don't think it's that bad a maxim to apply!


3. Break your revision sessions into chunks of approximately 45 minutes with a 15 minute break per hour. This is because your brain and your memory need a rest to absorb your learning.


4. And do something in the break - get up and move around.  Make a coffee (better, have some water) and a protein based snack.  


5. Build in a reward - whether it's an episode of your favourite soap or current box set passion but give yourself a clear objective.  "I will watch Game of Thrones when I have re-read the first three chapters of my textbook".  Sitting in your room painting your nails whilst staring vacantly at your notes does not count.


6. Write it down. I found it invaluable to test myself by writing my answers and thoughts down on paper (or typing them up on a PC).  There's something about seeing your notes in writing that helps cement them in your brain.


7.  Get a blackboard and play teacher. No, I haven't lost it, honest.  It's amazingly effective if you pretend to be the teacher in front of a class (or your favourite celebrities) and teach them your study topic.  You may want to pretend you're a world class lecturer at an international conference.


Go on, see if you can talk clearly about your topic for 15 minutes and illustrate your points with quotes / facts / figures on the blackboard.  From MEMORY.  


You could even get someone to record your lectures on camcorder


8.  Make a Mind Map. All in the spirit of making it a bit more fun,  the theory goes that using visual cues will help you remember more effectively.  A mind map is a simple diagram you make with lots of branches demonstrating related ideas.  Why not start each session by drawing a mind map and you may find you include ideas you had forgotten or that may be genius inclusions even your teacher or lecturer has not considered.







9.  Record it. I once learned the whole of Shakespeare's Macbeth almost word for word.  I did this by recording the whole play on an old fashioned tape recorder (tricky doing all the parts, I can tell you) and then I used to play it to myself whilst going to sleep.


Never underestimate the power of the subconscious. You'll find information coming to you effortlessly rather than having to struggle to recall it.


You could do something similar by recording the key facts you need to know and then playing them back through the day or just before you sleep.  Possibly not the most exciting track on your iPod but just consider the fabulous career getting your qualifications may lead you to.


10. Revise on the move. Having your notes recorded means you can listen to them anywhere - on your morning commute, whilst waiting to see the dentist etc.


11. Make it mini. If you prefer something written down, challenge yourself to note down key facts on postcards and whip them out for a quick run through during the day.


12. Flashcards are king. Or, create full A4 size flashcards with important points on and get your relatives to test you on them (hey, why should you be the only one to suffer)?


13. Buy / lend past exam papers.


If you can afford copies of past papers, please contact your local exam board and get them - even if it's just for the past 2 years.  You'll get a sense of what the questions are like and, if you know what came up last year, you may be able to guess what will come up this year.  NOTE:  you still need to revise everything but just give a bit more emphasis to the themes which may appear.


14.  Have a mock (we won't mock). Sit those papers.  Recreate the exam scenario.  Desk, watch, water, fruit pastilles - the whole shebang.  Do the paper to time.  Get the cat to invigilate.






15.  You are the evil examiner. Now that you have sat the paper - be absolutely ruthless.  Mark yourself as harshly as possible.  Penalise yourself for spelling mistakes and grammatical howlers.  Be honest.  Would you have passed?  If you're not sure, take the paper in and ask your teacher or lecturer.

16.  Prepare the night before. Not by cramming, not by panicking but by having a decent meal and an early night.  Reread your flashcards, listen to one of your home-made recordings, try to relax.


Remember, there is no such thing as failure.  If you don't pass this time then you have learned what not to do next time.  


And if you have tried your best with your revision and you can honestly say you did the best you could, pat yourself on the back and tell yourself this is just one step towards success.  And even Rome wasn't built in a day.



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