50 Things That Make Me Happy

I've been tagged by Leanne at A Slice of My Life Wales to list 50 things that make me happy and, since she might be a bit cross if I just put 49 Maltesers and a large glass of wine, here's my list.  I bet quite a few of your little pleasures are on there too.....

1.  The Husband

2.  The Kids

3.  The rest of the strange tribe who comprise my family and friends

4.  Christmas

5.  Red wine (anti-ageing, antioxidants, who needs an excuse?)

6.  Cats

7.  Tarot Cards (I used to 'dabble' when I was younger)

A grainy photo of my last cat, Samson, now in cat heaven

8.  The Mind, Body & Spirit Section in Waterstones (if you can't find me, this is where I'll be, although I'm not one of those people who will actually sit down, open the book and start reading.  I don't want my books less than pristine thank you!)

9.  The Underground (still find it exciting, all those tunnels, escalators and the potential danger of all that electricity)

10. Paris - many fond memories of school trips and of a short stint as an au pair when I was 19.

11. Pub grub - can't beat a pie. Or a pie & chips.

12.  Wuthering Heights - any of the Bronte Sisters' novels in fact.  All that sexual repression and bad weather.  That's the definition of being British right there.

13.  Louis Vuitton - the Husband bought me an Alma bag for my 50th birthday and I am still so awed by it, I haven't got round to using it yet.  I am still in the 'staring at it with adoration' phase.

Baby Ieuan in his Christmas Hat

14. Red Lipstick - even though the wrong red makes me look like Vampyra and gives me a mouth like a cat's bottom. When I find the right red, I'll let you know.

15. Emeralds - don't own any just love the green beauty of those stones.

16. Playing the piano after too much wine - this is the time when I actually remember those pieces I knew by heart as a child.  Rousing rendition of "Onward Christian Soldiers" at 1 am anyone?

17. Jools Holland - genius musician and pianist.

18. Jamie Cullum - ditto

19. Pot Noodles - how can you ever tire of crunchy noodles and those sachets you can never open?

20. Rice Pudding.  Ambrosia.  Food of the Gods.  Enough said.

21. Sleep - once you become a parent, sleep becomes the Holy Grail of pleasure seeking.  Arguably, that also applies to sex.

22. Candy Crush & Pyramid Solitaire - yes, yes, it's sad but the growth of the gaming market is being driven by middle aged women apparently so I am supporting the economy...

23. Woman & Home Magazine - full of women older than me achieving stuff.  I read it and marvel.

24.  Sherlock (with Benedict Cumberbatch)

25.  James Bond (Daniel Craig)

26.  Coffee

27.  Danish Pastries & Hot Cross Buns

28.  My Skoda Roomster - a car that lets you bend down to put a child in a car seat without giving you concussion when you straighten up to shut the door.

29. Fitflops - never off my feet for approximately 5 years now

30. Marilyn Monroe Films

31. Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein 

32. Woody Allen's "Love & Death"

33. Rain

Caitlin's Not Too Sure About Fresh Flowers

34. Cushions - the Husband cannot understand why I love cushions and my prize ones are unceremoniously lobbed on to the floor.  I am plotting a suitable revenge.  Hiding all the toilet rolls for example.

35. Anything covered in faux fur. This may be because I miss having a cat.  

36. Blackadder

37  Monty Python

38. The Daily Mail

39.  Peanut Butter

40.  Emmerdale

41.  Diaries - I have been known to start one, get bored and buy another one when I'm in my "let's all change our lives and adopt another health regime" mood.

42. John Lewis

43. Ghost Trains

44. Pizza

45. Lava Lamps

Cheers!

46.  London Taxis

47.  Fresh flowers

48.  Beautiful gardens 

49.  Pinterest (you could lose days browsing on there)

50.  Halloween

Well, that's cheered me up.  Hope I've got you thinking of the things that make you happy now!

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Is it time to drop the "Worst Dressed On The Red Carpet" Bitch-Fest?

Ho-hum  It's the night after the BAFTAs and the Daily Mail's lead article is entitled "What Were They Thinking?  ....The Worst Dressed Stars on the Red Carpet at the TV BAFTA Awards".

dailymail.co.uk

Some of this year's unfortunate targets include Catherine Tate ("who wore an autumnal coloured dress with too much ruching that swamped her small frame and clashed with her nude courts), Made in Chelsea's Rosie Fortescue (who "opted for an unflattering metallic dress with sheer panels by Julien Macdonald), and Hollyoaks actress Jennifer Metcalfe (who wore a dress described as "a bizarre one-shouldered black dress... which fell flat").

dailymail.co.uk

Michelle Keegan was described as wearing "a loose dress by House of Fraser in an unusual pastel shade of pastel green that was very wrinkled, causing many to question the former Coronation Street star's red carpet choice". Bizarrely, a link to purchase that very same dress can be found directly below this helpful criticism.

Now, we can all have a few minutes of fun and shore up our frail egos by gloating at the usually perfect looking less so. 

Michelle Keegan would probably look good in a bin liner.  It doesn't matter how terrible the outfit choices are, these are still beautiful women out to enjoy themselves.  

Imagine if, when you go out on a Saturday night, your choice of outfit was pilloried in the press the next day? You'd feel crushed, wouldn't you?

Yes you can argue that as a celebrity you put yourself out there and have to take the knocks. Well fine, but the knocks should be related to what you actually do, shouldn't they?

The BAFTAs celebrate and reward the best formances on TV during the past year. And where do we find the actual list of winners?  They appear in a rather bald listing right at the bottom of the article after reams of red carpet dress photos.

I loved the #WeAreThey Twitter response in support of Plus Size women, (even though I would always champion being a healthy weight as being best for us).  

Here were loads of women taking a stand and saying "This is us.  This is what we look like.  We're happy with it.  Move on".  

Far removed, I think, from the misogynistic drubbing female celebs have to put up with every time they put on a less than perfect frock.

Is anyone talking about the sartorial choices of  Jon Snow (Fellowship BAFTA), Jason Watkins (Leading Actor BAFTA) and Ant and Dec (Entertainment Performance BAFTA)?

Reading articles like this may make me feel better about myself for about a minute but this is a temporary buzz, like eating too many chocolates.  Don't you find you feel a bit uncomfortable afterwards?

The problem is we women are so used to being judged on our appearance rather than our skills and we are often each others' harshest critics.  

Until we realise that we need to support each other and that criticising one of us is in many ways like criticising all of us, it's going to be damn hard to stop clicking on those insidiously unpleasant article links.

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Silent Sunday / My Sunday Photo - 10/05/2015

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Self Defence - A Short Film About Using Martial Arts On The Streets

As a parent, one of the prevalent terrors I face is of someone picking on and hurting my children. Whilst we can, of course, teach them good behaviour, empathy and communication skills, there are times when people can't be reasoned with and when violence may spark up unexpectedly.  

There are numerous benefits in teaching children martial arts.  Some of these include:

• increased activity - helping them to get fit
• conflict resolution - teaching them to respond but not react
• increased focus and stillness
• increased self confidence and self respect

Students of the Martial Arts learn discipline, listening and team work skills - all vital attributes for success later in life. We are certainly thinking of sending our kids to Tae Kwon Do to learn self defence.

My niece, Emily Jasper, is a Second Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do and is also a filmmaker. She is currently in her second year studying Media (film) Production at Staffordshire University.

She aspires to one day work within cinematography, working on television dramas and feature films. At the moment she is learning her craft by creating short films, both written and directed by her and others, where she either shoots or camera assists in.

This is Emily's film "Street Defence" which is a short documentary about the vital importance of self defence, and the reality of using Martial Arts out on the streets.

The film features interviews with top Martial Arts experts including Zara Phythian, Master Clive Harrison, Master Tony Sewell and Rachael Harrison.





Please take a moment to watch the film by clicking on the video above.

Otherwise, the links you need are:-

Youtube:  http://youtu.be/jLJLoBb9Fmc

Vimeo:   https://vimeo.com/126168509 

Emily also has a Facebook page which is at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Street-Defence-Using-Martial-Arts-In-Real-Life/371067329744168.

Watching it, there is only one conclusion - that learning a Martial Art is an invaluable life skill for all of us, no matter what age.  Even if you don't need to use these skills to protect yourself, having the ability to protect you and yours is a terrific confidence boost.

There is enough violence in our society as it is.  Learning to handle conflict in a non-violent way can only benefit all of us.

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A Bit About The Hobbis Family

It strikes me that I haven't told you very much about US.  So since today's Blogging Every Day In May challenge is to share "a day in the life",  I thought I'd redress the balance a bit.

There are four of us.  Me, 51 at the end of this month, previously Marketing Director for a local law firm, who gave it all up (oh the folly!) to have children and raise them whilst embracing the sometimes poisoned chalice known as "being a stay at home mum".

Our Wedding Day in 2011

My husband, Mathew (three years younger and therefore a toy boy much to his amusement) works for a telecommunications company and the lucky so and so gets to travel around the world whilst I mutter under my breath about the injustice of being constrained to trips to Tesco and Nisa.

I am English.  I was born in Rochford Hospital, Essex.  The fact that I am technically an Essex girl tends to cause great mirth.  My family moved to Dinas Powys, a few miles outside Cardiff when I was 5 and aside from a brief stint in Swansea during my university days, I have lived here ever since.

My younger sister, Sarah, lives in Stoke-on-Trent and has three children, Emily, Lloyd and Georgia who are in their teens and twenties.  Emily is studying film production and is a black belt in Tae Kwondo, as is her brother Lloyd.  Georgia is a talented singer. My sister works as a bereavement counsellor for a children's hospice in Worcester.  She is also a talented pianist and has an obsession with Skodas which is slightly worrying.

Cardiff is now a fabulous city to live in and I have seen so much development during the years that it's hard to remember how the city used to be.  I do remember trams in Queen Street and a big sprawling pub down the docks called the Big Windsor which is now an Indian Restaurant.  The Big Windsor used to be a great live music venue, hosting bands like Madassa and The Spasm Band.

Cardiff Bay at Night

My parents were born in Plymouth and that city is also very special to me and my sister, Sarah as it is where we had most of our childhood holidays.  Many happy days were spent on The Hoe eating ice cream and watching the sun glint off the water in Plymouth Sound.

Plymouth Hoe

I worked for many years in the field of Legal Services Marketing in Cardiff and met Mathew in 2005. Caitlin arrived in 2007, Ieuan followed in 2009 and we married in St. David's Hotel in Cardiff Bay in 2011.

Caitlin, is an ever moving combination of singing, dancing, pink and glitter. She will be 8 in November and loves ballet, reading, drawing and, when the mood takes her, playing the piano (taught by my dad).  She loves a bit of drama and is able to turn on the tears at will.  I think she will make a great actress.

Caitlin, a couple of years ago - she's still occasionally angelic

Ieuan, almost 6, is an fast moving ball of energy who runs everywhere and lives in a world filled with superheroes.  He is obsessed with Spiderman to the point of demanding holidays in New York so he can climb the buildings. (We've got as far as Devon).  He's very much a typical boy who loves taking things apart and, if there's a chance of damaging himself whilst playing, he will take it.  Usually within the first 5 minutes of arriving at a playcentre, he'll have managed to fall off a swing or zipwire.


He has also spent the first few of his formative years practising his audition for "Freaky Eaters", having what is probably a completely normal aversion to eating anything that could be good for him.

Mat and the kids are Welsh and Mat is training them to love rugby as it is such an important part of Welsh life.  I manage to muster up some enthusiasm but still don't really understand the game.  Mat spends the entire time shouting such things as "knock on" which I don't quite get.  

Whilst working in marketing though I do remember organising rugby hospitality for the local great and good which involved a slap up meal, far too much alcohol, tickets to the game and then hot dogs and more beer when they returned to our office.  On one occasion one of the law firm partners got so drunk, she sat down in a plant display and had to be pulled free by her colleagues. In those days, you expected to turn up to the stadium early so you could enjoy (and join in with ) the singing.

Wales -v- Ireland Rugby World Cup Quarter Final 2011

As a junior marketer I used to organise all sorts of functions, from cricket days with huge marquees, to exhibition stands, from corporate dinners to art gallery viewing and trips to the horse racing.  At the same time I would also be putting together and editing copy for about 6 different newsletters. 

Later, my job involved business planning and marketing strategy and believe me it is often a challenge to explain to lawyers that, yes, the two are related. I was also responsible for PR, advertising and just about every other aspect of making legal services attractive to the commercial marketplace.

Nowadays, I keep my writing hand in, so to speak, by blogging but I do miss the buzz of the workplace and meeting a wide variety of people. It was great to meet some of my fellow bloggers at BlogOnCymru earlier this year and I am really looking forward to going to Britmums Live 2015.

Being a full time mum is challenging but not always intellectually stimulating.  That said, I appreciate I am lucky to be able to have this chance to spend so much time with them.

One of the reasons that I blog is so that I can document these precious memories.  The other is so that I can reach out to other women like me who, in their forties, wonder whether the chance to have a family has passed them by.

I like to think I can offer some hope.

Like what you've read?  Why not join me on the Mother Distracted Facebook page, tweet me on @lindahobbis or follow me on Instagram.

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Home Sweet Home - A Right or A Privilege?

Today's Blog Every Day In May challenge is "Home Sweet Home" but today's Election has got me thinking about the whole concept of 'home'.

Those thousands of migrants risking their lives in boats with babies and young children as they cross treacherous seas from Africa?  They're seeking 'home'.

Those dispossessed individuals sleeping rough under newspaper and in refuse skips?  They're dreaming of home.

Those families crammed into dank, damp, poorly maintained rental accommodation?  They've probably given up on the idea of home.

Those old people left alone and dehydrated in dreadful care homes across the country?  They've lost their homes.

Our kids chances of buying a home of their own?  Remote.

Arguably home is more than bricks and mortar.  It is the word which describes the living, breathing love and protection at the heart of each family unit.  Home is the place where we can, ironically, let down our defenses and let our true selves show.

We know, logically, that those who live in stately mansions may not be as happy as we are in our starter homes or tiny cramped flats.  But somehow, property has become a channel for happiness.  It has always been a sign of status of course.  "An Englishman's home is his castle" as the expression goes.  Except even the concept of nationality has changed. I couldn't even begin to describe what it means to be English any more. And don't know if I should be able to.

So I'm not going to talk about interior decor, or fluffy cushions.  I'm not going to wax lyrical about herbaceous borders (you've seen pictures of my garden, it's pointless!) nor bake a batch of muffins.

But I am going to say that if you value the concept of home and if you care that people DIED to give you the chance to vote, then get to the polling station and make your views known.

It's the adult thing to do.  It's the mature thing to do and if you are not prepared to put a stake in the ground and say "this is my home and THIS is what I believe in", then you'll only have yourself to blame if your homestead is less secure in future.

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5 Life Lessons To Share With Your Kids

There is such a lot we need to teach our children and we have such a short space of time to do it.

These are just 5 of the life lessons I hope to instill in my kids.

An education is never a waste.

I've never believed that "school days are the best days of your life" because mine, frankly, were endured rather than enjoyed, but I do believe that if you stop learning, you stop growing as a person. 

You may not need to understand glaciation or the digestive system of a rabbit but you are learning how to assimilate information, how to analyse and apply it.

When we get the inevitable "I don't want to go to school" from the kids we gently explain that the subjects they are learning are like building blocks to a successful future. 

That if they learn to read, they can learn anything. That if they want to do a job they love, they need to learn now.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

As a general principle, this one stands the test of time. 

Friendship and money do not mix. 

That is not to say we would ever turn our backs on a friend in need but I think if you lend in those circumstances you are better off viewing the loan as a gift.

The kids are learning about money and the importance of saving at the moment.  

They are also learning about deferred gratification.  

The "I want it now" mentality has probably led an awful lot of people into the path of payday loans and a whole heap of credit card debt.

It's Often Not About You.

Yes you have to stand up for yourself when someone is horrid to you but it helps to remember that happy, well-adjusted people usually don't feel the need to bully, belittle or intimidate.  

If we can all remember that then perhaps we can treat bad behaviour towards us with sympathy and even a bit of compassion rather than letting the sad person indulging in it push our buttons to shore up their frail egos.

With the kids, whilst we tell them firmly that they must not put up with other children being horrible to them, we also tell them that if a special friend has been grumpy or a bit off, it is not necessarily anything to do with them.

Say sorry.

The flip side of this is that when we are in a bad mood it is very easy to take it out on other people.

As a family, we make a point of apologising when we need to, especially to the kids.  

We need to model the behaviour we want our kids to adopt so, if I've been a bit grumpy, I will explain the reasons why to the kids and apologise.

Make the most of every day.

This one is probably the most difficult of the lot. 

There are so many horror stories in Media that sometimes I can't bear to read them.  

Making the most of every day is one of the things I struggle with but sometimes you just have to sit down, breathe and say "this is where we are now, and it's OK".

The kids are always looking ahead to the next weekend, trip out, cinema visit or party and we gently remind them that we can have a good time NOW, today.

Which lessons would you add? 

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