Self Defence - A Short Film About Using Martial Arts On The Streets

As a parent, one of the prevalent terrors I face is of someone picking on and hurting my children. Whilst we can, of course, teach them good behaviour, empathy and communication skills, there are times when people can't be reasoned with and when violence may spark up unexpectedly.  

There are numerous benefits in teaching children martial arts.  Some of these include:

• increased activity - helping them to get fit
• conflict resolution - teaching them to respond but not react
• increased focus and stillness
• increased self confidence and self respect

Students of the Martial Arts learn discipline, listening and team work skills - all vital attributes for success later in life. We are certainly thinking of sending our kids to Tae Kwon Do to learn self defence.

My niece, Emily Jasper, is a Second Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do and is also a filmmaker. She is currently in her second year studying Media (film) Production at Staffordshire University.

She aspires to one day work within cinematography, working on television dramas and feature films. At the moment she is learning her craft by creating short films, both written and directed by her and others, where she either shoots or camera assists in.

This is Emily's film "Street Defence" which is a short documentary about the vital importance of self defence, and the reality of using Martial Arts out on the streets.

The film features interviews with top Martial Arts experts including Zara Phythian, Master Clive Harrison, Master Tony Sewell and Rachael Harrison.





Please take a moment to watch the film by clicking on the video above.

Otherwise, the links you need are:-

Youtube:  http://youtu.be/jLJLoBb9Fmc

Vimeo:   https://vimeo.com/126168509 

Emily also has a Facebook page which is at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Street-Defence-Using-Martial-Arts-In-Real-Life/371067329744168.

Watching it, there is only one conclusion - that learning a Martial Art is an invaluable life skill for all of us, no matter what age.  Even if you don't need to use these skills to protect yourself, having the ability to protect you and yours is a terrific confidence boost.

There is enough violence in our society as it is.  Learning to handle conflict in a non-violent way can only benefit all of us.

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A Bit About The Hobbis Family

It strikes me that I haven't told you very much about US.  So since today's Blogging Every Day In May challenge is to share "a day in the life",  I thought I'd redress the balance a bit.

There are four of us.  Me, 51 at the end of this month, previously Marketing Director for a local law firm, who gave it all up (oh the folly!) to have children and raise them whilst embracing the sometimes poisoned chalice known as "being a stay at home mum".

Our Wedding Day in 2011

My husband, Mathew (three years younger and therefore a toy boy much to his amusement) works for a telecommunications company and the lucky so and so gets to travel around the world whilst I mutter under my breath about the injustice of being constrained to trips to Tesco and Nisa.

I am English.  I was born in Rochford Hospital, Essex.  The fact that I am technically an Essex girl tends to cause great mirth.  My family moved to Dinas Powys, a few miles outside Cardiff when I was 5 and aside from a brief stint in Swansea during my university days, I have lived here ever since.

My younger sister, Sarah, lives in Stoke-on-Trent and has three children, Emily, Lloyd and Georgia who are in their teens and twenties.  Emily is studying film production and is a black belt in Tae Kwondo, as is her brother Lloyd.  Georgia is a talented singer. My sister works as a bereavement counsellor for a children's hospice in Worcester.  She is also a talented pianist and has an obsession with Skodas which is slightly worrying.

Cardiff is now a fabulous city to live in and I have seen so much development during the years that it's hard to remember how the city used to be.  I do remember trams in Queen Street and a big sprawling pub down the docks called the Big Windsor which is now an Indian Restaurant.  The Big Windsor used to be a great live music venue, hosting bands like Madassa and The Spasm Band.

Cardiff Bay at Night

My parents were born in Plymouth and that city is also very special to me and my sister, Sarah as it is where we had most of our childhood holidays.  Many happy days were spent on The Hoe eating ice cream and watching the sun glint off the water in Plymouth Sound.

Plymouth Hoe

I worked for many years in the field of Legal Services Marketing in Cardiff and met Mathew in 2005. Caitlin arrived in 2007, Ieuan followed in 2009 and we married in St. David's Hotel in Cardiff Bay in 2011.

Caitlin, is an ever moving combination of singing, dancing, pink and glitter. She will be 8 in November and loves ballet, reading, drawing and, when the mood takes her, playing the piano (taught by my dad).  She loves a bit of drama and is able to turn on the tears at will.  I think she will make a great actress.

Caitlin, a couple of years ago - she's still occasionally angelic

Ieuan, almost 6, is an fast moving ball of energy who runs everywhere and lives in a world filled with superheroes.  He is obsessed with Spiderman to the point of demanding holidays in New York so he can climb the buildings. (We've got as far as Devon).  He's very much a typical boy who loves taking things apart and, if there's a chance of damaging himself whilst playing, he will take it.  Usually within the first 5 minutes of arriving at a playcentre, he'll have managed to fall off a swing or zipwire.


He has also spent the first few of his formative years practising his audition for "Freaky Eaters", having what is probably a completely normal aversion to eating anything that could be good for him.

Mat and the kids are Welsh and Mat is training them to love rugby as it is such an important part of Welsh life.  I manage to muster up some enthusiasm but still don't really understand the game.  Mat spends the entire time shouting such things as "knock on" which I don't quite get.  

Whilst working in marketing though I do remember organising rugby hospitality for the local great and good which involved a slap up meal, far too much alcohol, tickets to the game and then hot dogs and more beer when they returned to our office.  On one occasion one of the law firm partners got so drunk, she sat down in a plant display and had to be pulled free by her colleagues. In those days, you expected to turn up to the stadium early so you could enjoy (and join in with ) the singing.

Wales -v- Ireland Rugby World Cup Quarter Final 2011

As a junior marketer I used to organise all sorts of functions, from cricket days with huge marquees, to exhibition stands, from corporate dinners to art gallery viewing and trips to the horse racing.  At the same time I would also be putting together and editing copy for about 6 different newsletters. 

Later, my job involved business planning and marketing strategy and believe me it is often a challenge to explain to lawyers that, yes, the two are related. I was also responsible for PR, advertising and just about every other aspect of making legal services attractive to the commercial marketplace.

Nowadays, I keep my writing hand in, so to speak, by blogging but I do miss the buzz of the workplace and meeting a wide variety of people. It was great to meet some of my fellow bloggers at BlogOnCymru earlier this year and I am really looking forward to going to Britmums Live 2015.

Being a full time mum is challenging but not always intellectually stimulating.  That said, I appreciate I am lucky to be able to have this chance to spend so much time with them.

One of the reasons that I blog is so that I can document these precious memories.  The other is so that I can reach out to other women like me who, in their forties, wonder whether the chance to have a family has passed them by.

I like to think I can offer some hope.

Like what you've read?  Why not join me on the Mother Distracted Facebook page, tweet me on @lindahobbis or follow me on Instagram.

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Home Sweet Home - A Right or A Privilege?

Today's Blog Every Day In May challenge is "Home Sweet Home" but today's Election has got me thinking about the whole concept of 'home'.

Those thousands of migrants risking their lives in boats with babies and young children as they cross treacherous seas from Africa?  They're seeking 'home'.

Those dispossessed individuals sleeping rough under newspaper and in refuse skips?  They're dreaming of home.

Those families crammed into dank, damp, poorly maintained rental accommodation?  They've probably given up on the idea of home.

Those old people left alone and dehydrated in dreadful care homes across the country?  They've lost their homes.

Our kids chances of buying a home of their own?  Remote.

Arguably home is more than bricks and mortar.  It is the word which describes the living, breathing love and protection at the heart of each family unit.  Home is the place where we can, ironically, let down our defenses and let our true selves show.

We know, logically, that those who live in stately mansions may not be as happy as we are in our starter homes or tiny cramped flats.  But somehow, property has become a channel for happiness.  It has always been a sign of status of course.  "An Englishman's home is his castle" as the expression goes.  Except even the concept of nationality has changed. I couldn't even begin to describe what it means to be English any more. And don't know if I should be able to.

So I'm not going to talk about interior decor, or fluffy cushions.  I'm not going to wax lyrical about herbaceous borders (you've seen pictures of my garden, it's pointless!) nor bake a batch of muffins.

But I am going to say that if you value the concept of home and if you care that people DIED to give you the chance to vote, then get to the polling station and make your views known.

It's the adult thing to do.  It's the mature thing to do and if you are not prepared to put a stake in the ground and say "this is my home and THIS is what I believe in", then you'll only have yourself to blame if your homestead is less secure in future.

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5 Life Lessons To Share With Your Kids

There is such a lot we need to teach our children and we have such a short space of time to do it.

These are just 5 of the life lessons I hope to instill in my kids.

An education is never a waste.

I've never believed that "school days are the best days of your life" because mine, frankly, were endured rather than enjoyed, but I do believe that if you stop learning, you stop growing as a person. 

You may not need to understand glaciation or the digestive system of a rabbit but you are learning how to assimilate information, how to analyse and apply it.

When we get the inevitable "I don't want to go to school" from the kids we gently explain that the subjects they are learning are like building blocks to a successful future. 

That if they learn to read, they can learn anything. That if they want to do a job they love, they need to learn now.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

As a general principle, this one stands the test of time. 

Friendship and money do not mix. 

That is not to say we would ever turn our backs on a friend in need but I think if you lend in those circumstances you are better off viewing the loan as a gift.

The kids are learning about money and the importance of saving at the moment.  

They are also learning about deferred gratification.  

The "I want it now" mentality has probably led an awful lot of people into the path of payday loans and a whole heap of credit card debt.

It's Often Not About You.

Yes you have to stand up for yourself when someone is horrid to you but it helps to remember that happy, well-adjusted people usually don't feel the need to bully, belittle or intimidate.  

If we can all remember that then perhaps we can treat bad behaviour towards us with sympathy and even a bit of compassion rather than letting the sad person indulging in it push our buttons to shore up their frail egos.

With the kids, whilst we tell them firmly that they must not put up with other children being horrible to them, we also tell them that if a special friend has been grumpy or a bit off, it is not necessarily anything to do with them.

Say sorry.

The flip side of this is that when we are in a bad mood it is very easy to take it out on other people.

As a family, we make a point of apologising when we need to, especially to the kids.  

We need to model the behaviour we want our kids to adopt so, if I've been a bit grumpy, I will explain the reasons why to the kids and apologise.

Make the most of every day.

This one is probably the most difficult of the lot. 

There are so many horror stories in Media that sometimes I can't bear to read them.  

Making the most of every day is one of the things I struggle with but sometimes you just have to sit down, breathe and say "this is where we are now, and it's OK".

The kids are always looking ahead to the next weekend, trip out, cinema visit or party and we gently remind them that we can have a good time NOW, today.

Which lessons would you add? 

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Guilty Pleasures. It's Confession Time

I always think you can tell a lot about a person by their guilty pleasures; those daily joys that lead a trail of breadcrumbs back to their heart (and possibly their current mental state).  The thing is, someone else's guilty pleasures are often quite surprising, making you exclaim "I did not KNOW that about you".  

To completely misquote Forest Gump, people are like Kinder Eggs.  You never know what you'll find hidden inside.  

My number one rule about guilty pleasures, though, is never to laugh at another person's.  Why deny someone a route to happiness (assuming it's legal and on the right side of healthy), even though their habit may run counter to whatever you think is 'cool'?  This rule does not, of course, extend to the Husband's love of shouty Viking rock which I view as being bad for everybody's health, even if it is legal.

The great motivational author and speaker, Anthony Robbins, teaches us that we most of the things we do are to avoid pain and to gain pleasure.  Actually, in terms of bad habits if you find what the pleasure (hidden or not so hidden) in carrying out that habit is, then you'll be in a much stronger position to deal with it.  But I digress.

Having now made it plain I do not expect you to laugh uproariously at my guilty pleasures, here's a couple for you to wonder at.

Judge Rinder.

Judge Rinder - metro.co.uk

I love Judge Rinder - the UK's answer to Judge Judy. Yes I know the show is camper than a field of yurts but I find the afternoon court session highly entertaining.  Who wouldn't have wanted to shout out in the middle of a board meeting "I'm going to write that IN BIG" or "I can smell a lie like a fart in a lift"? Oh the fun I could have had in meetings.  I find my mind boggling at the relatives who take their own family members to court for a couple of hundred pounds simply to be on the TV.  And then there are those who, to quote Judge Rinder, just vanish "up the cul-de-sac of stupid".  The Husband hates it of course, which adds that extra frisson of rebellion to watching it.

Pot Noodles

Curry Pot Noodle.  It's a Marvel  bmstores.co.uk

My idea of a balanced meal when I was a student in Swansea Uni was a spicy curry Pot Noodle, a small tin of Ambrosia Rice Pudding all washed down with a packet of cheese & onion crisps and a mug of tea.  You can play a sort of game with yourself which I like to call "is the Pot Noodle edible yet".  This involves picking out the noodles before the four minutes are up in the hope that you won't crack your teeth.  

Austin Powers

Some films just make you snort with laughter and the Austin Powers films do that to me.  A handy source of witty riposts for all social occasions e.g. "and I want a solid gold toilet but it's just not in the cards now, is it?".  Useful, no?  Or how about "why take the escalator when I have a perfectly good canoe right here?".

And lastly ( and probably most shamefully), Candy Crush.

They say sugar is addictive and this certainly is.  But I find it soothing and I can rationalise away the many hours I've wasted on it because, er, it's collaborative, isn't it.  You help others by sending them lives.  It, um, improves your pattern recognition.  I'm sure spotting things in rows of 3, 4 and 5 must be useful somewhere in the Universe and, ah, it's low calorie.  Genius.

I'm looking forward to hearing about your guilty pleasures!

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Silent Sunday / My Sunday Photo - 03/05/15

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Self Care - Do you Remember That Mums?

It's Day 3 of the Blogging Every Day in May challenge and today's theme is "self care". To be honest it may as well be motor cycle maintenance for all the self care that I do. 

This is supposed to be doing me good.

Now I'm not blaming anybody and this isn't a 'poor me' post, rather a reminder to myself that I need to make more of an effort to make myself feel good - in ways that are healthy, nurturing and preferable inexpensive.

I do get the occasional lie-in, ended only by the husband's appearance with a cuppa and a wry comment about me being still alive. I can't complain about that but when I think about the grooming I used to do when I was a single working girl, I wonder where I found the time or energy.

I used to wear make-up every day. Foundation, power, blusher, mascara, lippie, nail varnish - the works. Well, not in the league of the Kardashian Kontour technique but enough to look noticeably different from my just woken up self.

There have been studies which claim that women who wear make-up in the workplace earn more and are taken more seriously. (Here's one). Working in a law firm, as I did for over 12 years makes you well aware of the importance of looking the part and fitting in to the corporate environment. When you're selling a product which can be as expensive as legal services are, looking less than groomed is simply not an option.

I used to wear heels. Now I run about in FitFlop boots in the winter and FitFlop sandals in the summer. If I do put heels on I worry about how far I will be able to walk before my toes are mangled and the soles of my feet are burning.

Underwear is functional (matching? Oh, don't be silly). Earrings are non-existant. Wedding ring and watch is usually about it.

Favourite garments? My blue fluffy dressing gown (which the Husband claims makes me look like a blue polar bear) and my black leggings which I appear unable to get out of. When we have decent weather I will wear one of my selection of maxi dresses but that is generally for a very short period of time indeed.

Part of the problem, I think, is that it is difficult to know what a 50 something woman is supposed to look like. There are several strong role models for 50 + glam (Helen Mirren springs immediately to mind, ditto Sharon Stone, Jane Seymour, even Lorraine) but I feel as if I'm starting from scratch.

This is not who I was and I'm not sure how it's "who I have become".

But it's not as simple as slapping on a face pack and painting your toe nails, is it? The most important aspect of self care is keeping those negative thoughts in check, claiming your rights, making sure you're heard. It's about saying "hey, I'm a mother, I'm a wife but I'm still the woman I always was. And she deserves respect".

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