Guilty Pleasures. It's Confession Time

I always think you can tell a lot about a person by their guilty pleasures; those daily joys that lead a trail of breadcrumbs back to their heart (and possibly their current mental state).  The thing is, someone else's guilty pleasures are often quite surprising, making you exclaim "I did not KNOW that about you".  

To completely misquote Forest Gump, people are like Kinder Eggs.  You never know what you'll find hidden inside.  

My number one rule about guilty pleasures, though, is never to laugh at another person's.  Why deny someone a route to happiness (assuming it's legal and on the right side of healthy), even though their habit may run counter to whatever you think is 'cool'?  This rule does not, of course, extend to the Husband's love of shouty Viking rock which I view as being bad for everybody's health, even if it is legal.

The great motivational author and speaker, Anthony Robbins, teaches us that we most of the things we do are to avoid pain and to gain pleasure.  Actually, in terms of bad habits if you find what the pleasure (hidden or not so hidden) in carrying out that habit is, then you'll be in a much stronger position to deal with it.  But I digress.

Having now made it plain I do not expect you to laugh uproariously at my guilty pleasures, here's a couple for you to wonder at.

Judge Rinder.

Judge Rinder - metro.co.uk

I love Judge Rinder - the UK's answer to Judge Judy. Yes I know the show is camper than a field of yurts but I find the afternoon court session highly entertaining.  Who wouldn't have wanted to shout out in the middle of a board meeting "I'm going to write that IN BIG" or "I can smell a lie like a fart in a lift"? Oh the fun I could have had in meetings.  I find my mind boggling at the relatives who take their own family members to court for a couple of hundred pounds simply to be on the TV.  And then there are those who, to quote Judge Rinder, just vanish "up the cul-de-sac of stupid".  The Husband hates it of course, which adds that extra frisson of rebellion to watching it.

Pot Noodles

Curry Pot Noodle.  It's a Marvel  bmstores.co.uk

My idea of a balanced meal when I was a student in Swansea Uni was a spicy curry Pot Noodle, a small tin of Ambrosia Rice Pudding all washed down with a packet of cheese & onion crisps and a mug of tea.  You can play a sort of game with yourself which I like to call "is the Pot Noodle edible yet".  This involves picking out the noodles before the four minutes are up in the hope that you won't crack your teeth.  

Austin Powers

Some films just make you snort with laughter and the Austin Powers films do that to me.  A handy source of witty riposts for all social occasions e.g. "and I want a solid gold toilet but it's just not in the cards now, is it?".  Useful, no?  Or how about "why take the escalator when I have a perfectly good canoe right here?".

And lastly ( and probably most shamefully), Candy Crush.

They say sugar is addictive and this certainly is.  But I find it soothing and I can rationalise away the many hours I've wasted on it because, er, it's collaborative, isn't it.  You help others by sending them lives.  It, um, improves your pattern recognition.  I'm sure spotting things in rows of 3, 4 and 5 must be useful somewhere in the Universe and, ah, it's low calorie.  Genius.

I'm looking forward to hearing about your guilty pleasures!

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Silent Sunday / My Sunday Photo - 03/05/15

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Self Care - Do you Remember That Mums?

It's Day 3 of the Blogging Every Day in May challenge and today's theme is "self care". To be honest it may as well be motor cycle maintenance for all the self care that I do. 

This is supposed to be doing me good.

Now I'm not blaming anybody and this isn't a 'poor me' post, rather a reminder to myself that I need to make more of an effort to make myself feel good - in ways that are healthy, nurturing and preferable inexpensive.

I do get the occasional lie-in, ended only by the husband's appearance with a cuppa and a wry comment about me being still alive. I can't complain about that but when I think about the grooming I used to do when I was a single working girl, I wonder where I found the time or energy.

I used to wear make-up every day. Foundation, power, blusher, mascara, lippie, nail varnish - the works. Well, not in the league of the Kardashian Kontour technique but enough to look noticeably different from my just woken up self.

There have been studies which claim that women who wear make-up in the workplace earn more and are taken more seriously. (Here's one). Working in a law firm, as I did for over 12 years makes you well aware of the importance of looking the part and fitting in to the corporate environment. When you're selling a product which can be as expensive as legal services are, looking less than groomed is simply not an option.

I used to wear heels. Now I run about in FitFlop boots in the winter and FitFlop sandals in the summer. If I do put heels on I worry about how far I will be able to walk before my toes are mangled and the soles of my feet are burning.

Underwear is functional (matching? Oh, don't be silly). Earrings are non-existant. Wedding ring and watch is usually about it.

Favourite garments? My blue fluffy dressing gown (which the Husband claims makes me look like a blue polar bear) and my black leggings which I appear unable to get out of. When we have decent weather I will wear one of my selection of maxi dresses but that is generally for a very short period of time indeed.

Part of the problem, I think, is that it is difficult to know what a 50 something woman is supposed to look like. There are several strong role models for 50 + glam (Helen Mirren springs immediately to mind, ditto Sharon Stone, Jane Seymour, even Lorraine) but I feel as if I'm starting from scratch.

This is not who I was and I'm not sure how it's "who I have become".

But it's not as simple as slapping on a face pack and painting your toe nails, is it? The most important aspect of self care is keeping those negative thoughts in check, claiming your rights, making sure you're heard. It's about saying "hey, I'm a mother, I'm a wife but I'm still the woman I always was. And she deserves respect".

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In which there are no camels to be had & Colin Dexter recites poetry.

Someone recently asked me to write about my adventures.  I have obviously lived a very modest and quiet life.  I am probably what Charlotte Bronte would have been like if she had been allowed out to the pub in Haworth, but, still, the request got me thinking.

I suppose there was the time when I went up the Great Pyramid just outside Cairo. (I had gone to Egypt with a girl pal of mine to celebrate my 24th birthday). I ascended holding the hand of the guide (a little old man) who had placed a lit candle stub on my palm, sticking it there by means of applying hot wax to my hand.

The Great Pyramid at Giza, Egypt

Holding my hand was apparently non-negotiable.  He advised me to duck as we entered the dingy and slightly cheesy smelling interior of one of the World's greatest architectural masterpieces. Surprisingly there is not enough room to stand up until you reach one of the pyramid's antechambers and there is very little left to see, but the experience was amazing. You felt the presence of thousands of years of history like a shimmering force field.

On the same occasion, I wanted a camel ride but there were no camels in sight.  There were, however, fine Arabian horses which my friend and I agreed to hire.  Two twenty something girls alone in Egypt with limited horse-riding experience.  What could possibly go wrong?

The camels had all apparently legged it on hearing of our approach.

All was going well until the guide, whose English was limited to the phrase "Tally Ho" slapped the rump of my friend's horse making it bolt across the desert horizon.  All you could see was the horse's and my friend's rear as they vanished in to the sunset with my friend shouting "mum-eeeeeeeeeeee". The guide decided he had better rescue her so cantered off after the bolting steed.  He did this by shouting "Tally Ho" and dragging my horse with him by holding on to my thigh.

Leaving aside the time I got locked in toilet of a Great Western Train en route to the great metropolis of Swansea, my life has been relatively adventure free so far - I mean in the sense of great sweeping adventures that change your perspective for ever.  Times when you meet unforgettable characters, eat unidentifiable food and behave in ways alien to your usual demeanour. Although arguably that could describe a night out in Dinas.

Then there was the time I met the late great writer Laurie Lee in his local pub in Slad.  Being entranced by the beautiful "Cider with Rosie", we were slightly star struck to find him having a quiet pint. Lee himself was funny and down to earth, having to dash off only to return a few minutes later because he'd left a chicken, his Sunday lunch in the oven and bringing us copies of his book of poems "My Many Coated Man".

Laurie Lee - source:  dailymail.co.uk

I also met Colin Dexter (the writer of Morse) at the signing of the last Morse novel, The "Remorseful Day".  Whilst we were waiting for everyone to troop in, the author recited classic poetry (off the top of his head) to keep us amused. He was so entertaining it was almost a shame when he broke off to start talking about Morse.  Some people's intelligence just shines through and Colin Dexter is one of those.

I'm a big fan of literary adventures.  That's why I love Agatha Christie's Miss Marple, the old lady sleuth who solves crimes generally by sitting in her arm chair and applying her knowledge of the psychology of the inhabitants of St. Mary Mead to dastardly criminals.

Julia McKenzie as Agatha Christie's Miss Marple

The thing about adventures is that you have to be brave enough to have them.  I wish I were braver, but these days I find that the notion of a trip of more than a couple of hundred miles is quite a stressful proposition.   That's what having kids does for you.  A trip to Devon when they were babies involved more equipment than going on tour with Motorhead.  (No I haven't, I'd worry about my Tinnitus).

I really hope though that I 'woman up' enough to have some adventures with my kids and that they are braver than I am and explore the world and its wonders.  As long as they remember to phone their mother, of course.

In the meantime, just plump my armchair cushions up for me and put the kettle on, would you?

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Who I Am? A Few Clues.

I'm joining in with the lovely +Rosalilium's Blog Every Day In May (#BEDM) challenge and our first task is to introduce ourselves.  

I'm wife to Mat and mum to Caitlin (7) and Ieuan (nearly 6).  I left work as Marketing Director at a Cardiff law firm in 2007 to have my kids. Caitlin was born in 2007 when I was 43 and Ieuan followed in 2009.  Being an 'older mum' is something I talk about quite a bit on this blog.  

I count myself lucky as I had a good career and then a family (probably just in time).  I'm well aware that this does not happen for everyone.  Staying fit is a bit of an obvious preoccupation so that I can keep up with 2 energetic kids. 

Me!

I say keeping fit, I actually mean googling random illness symptoms and then driving the husband mad by asking if he thinks I've got them.

We live just outside Cardiff in Dinas Powys.  Dinas' main claim to fame is that it has its own castle (now in ruins) and was previously home to Charlotte Church. I'm English (an Essex girl actually) but we moved to Wales when I was 5 so I class myself as 'adopted Welsh' now.  It does mean that I get very confused when Wales play England at Rugby.

Caitlin & Ieuan

I found becoming a stay at home mum a huge change from being a full time employee and to fill the gap I took up entering competitions (with quite a bit of success) and now I have a new love - blogging.

I have met and talked to so many lovely people.  There is definitely a blogging community and I've found lots of bloggers who are very generous with their help, advice and inspiration.

What else can I tell you?  Here's a few insights into the dark recesses of my muddled maternal mind.

Favourite season: Autumn. 

One of the fabulous things about being a parent is that you get the chance to relive your childhood again. I love Halloween and Bonfire Night.  My daughter's birthday is in November so that's obviously another party and then there's the glorious build up to Christmas and New Year. Actually I suspect I enjoy it all more than the kids. It's a time of year when your senses go into overdrive - the lights, the smells, the sounds of caroling, food and decorations. One of my favourite places to be at this time of year is the beauty hall in Debenhams. Call me shallow but surrounded by the floodlit best that the beauty industry can offer in glorious wrapping paper, I have palpitations calmed only by a jumbo cappuccino and chocolate muffin.

Favourite animal:  Cat
  
A cat. With the exception of a sloth, no other animal can make inertia look stylish. I'd come home to find my cat Samson sat in an arm chair wearing a smoking jacket and cradling a whisky sour and a large cigar.

Least favourite feature: Feet

I've been incredibly blessed;  the older you get, the more you realise this but if if I could change one thing it would be the size of my feet. Size 8. I ask you. That's not a foot, that's a tennis racquet.

Obessions:  Many

I love blogging and  I can be ever so slightly obsessional (I have a 'thing' about Hercule Poirot, Art Deco and lemon curd - happily not all at the same time). I also eat Hot Cross Buns all year round. Don't judge me.

Best James Bond:  Daniel Craig, then Roger Moore.

Ant or Dec:  Dec

White or Red Wine:  Red (for it's anti-ageing properties obviously)

Sweet or Savoury:  Can't live without cheese and olives.

X Factor or Britain's Got Talent:  Britain's Got Talent. I think the X Factor has really had its day

Comedian:  Russell Howard, Eddie Izzard and the marvellous Bill Bailey

Film:  Blazing Saddles, The Young Frankenstein (both Mel Brooks) and Love & Death (Woody Allen)

Book:  Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

Music:  Jools Holland, Jamie Cullum, Jack Johnson.  Sadly the husband loves Viking Rock and a musical genre I refer to as "that ruddy din".


I'm looking forward to learning more about you!

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My 7 Bank Holiday Payday Beauty Treats

It's a bank holiday and payday weekend.  Here are the treats at the top of my list this month.

Zoella Blissful Mistful Fragranced Body Mist

There's no denying Zoella's popularity, having taken the beauty blogging world by storm.  I'm hoping a few spritzes of this body mist will inspire me.

Zoella Blissful Mistful - £9.00 - feelunique.com

This is described as "a super light and feminine body spritz to scent your body with fresh and floral notes". The spray is enriched with Vitamin E and fruit extracts and is designed to be sprayed all over.

Sleek Blush By 3 in Pumpkin

Sleek Blush By 3 Pumpkin - £9.99 - Superdrug.com

This palette contains three blushes in one compact being a mix of matte, satin and shimmer shades. Highly pigmented and suited to all skin tones.  One reviewer has advised "not to be afraid of the orange" as it blends really well

Benefit Roller Lash

Benefit Roller Lash £19.50 - benefit.co.uk

Benefit's latest mascara claims to be a roller for lashes with a trade marked Hook 'n' Roll brush which separates, lifts and curls. It has an instant curve setting formula which holds for 12 hours. Based on results from a consumer panel of 31 women after 4 weeks, 87% said it gave a long-lasting curl and 94% said it made eyes look more wide open. 

Unless Benefit's "They're Real" mascara, which I found very difficult to remove, Roller Lash claims to be easy to remove.  It also contains Provitamin B5 and Serin, two ingredients known for their lash conditioning benefits.

Lush - May Day Bath Bomb - Badger

Lush May Day Bath Bomb - Badger - £2.95

Who doesn't love Lush bath bombs?  The proceeds of each of these fruity, sweet smelling bath bombs (minus the VAT) will go to the groups behind the "Votes For Animals" campaign which aims to give animals a vote this election.  The groups are Animal Aid, The League Against Cruel Sports, and Save Me. The bath bombs contain fennel oil to stimulate your skin, and antiseptic rosewood oil to soothe and uplift. The fragrance is described as sweet and "sherbety".

Molton Brown Delicious Rhubarb & Rose Handwash

Molton Brown Delicious Rhubarb  Rose Handwash - £16.00 - moltonbrown.co.uk

I love Molton Brown but it is definitely not the cheapest handwash on the market which relegates it to the treat category in my eyes.  I'm always vaguely disappointed when I don't find Molton Brown in my hotel room bathroom.  This new handwash in a Rhubarb & Rose fragrance is definitely a treat.  

It's described as a sweet, moisturising hand wash blended with rose extract and yuzu fruit accord.  It has a 'tart rhubarb' heart note, a gentle rose base note and a comforting musk. Too special to leave out for the kids.

Astrid & Miyu Diamante Evil Eye Necklace in Silver

I love Astrid & Miyu's quirky, yet somehow classic, jewellery designs and this evil eye design might be useful if your boss is anything like some of the joys I've previously worked with!  

Astrid & Miyu Diamante Evil Eye Necklace in Silver - £59.00 - astridandmiyu.com

This delicate necklace has a bohemian style and is crafted from rhodium plated brass.  The pendant is designed with concentric circles made up of white and powder blue cubic zirconia crystals. Astrid & Miyu suggest wearing this necklace with a peasant blouse and wide leg jeans for a throwback to the 70s look.

ASOS 70's Woven Festival Bag

ASOS 70's Woven Festival Bag - £16.00 - asos.com

This is a rattan weave basket bag with long straps, a leather flap and an amazing pattern woven into it. Perfect for the summer.

What treats would be on your list?

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5 Pregnancy & New Mum Bibles I Couldn't Live Without

When you're pregnant, you've often plenty of time to research every aspect of pregnancy - and there's LOADS of information out there. 

If you're anything like me, you'll be reading all the pregnancy and baby guides you can get your hands on!

There are distinct schools of thought on the best way to bring up baby, from the controlled crying techniques of Gina Ford to the co-sleeping recommendations of James J. McKenna.  

Pram or baby sling? Breast feed or formula? Cot or moses basket? There are reams of information of every aspect of motherhood even down to what to put in your hospital bag.

You really need clear, concise information from a reputable source you can trust and these five books became my bibles. I heartily recommend all of them and they are all available on amazon.co.uk.

What to Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff

This was the book I turned to every night and at every twinge.  Murkoff does not sugar-coat the information and points out what can go wrong as well as what is usually nothing to worry about. Don't expect cuddly photos of newborns, but do expect practical, "does what it says on the tin" advice.

The latest edition (the fourth) has been completely revised and updated.

"Heidi Murkoff has rewritten every section of the book, answering dozens of new questions and including loads of new asked-for material, such as a detailed week-by-week foetal development section in each of the monthly chapters, an expanded chapter on pre-conception, and a brand new one on carrying multiples. 

The Fourth Edition incorporates the most recent developments in obstetrics and addresses the most current lifestyle trends (from tattooing and belly piercing to Botox and aromatherapy). 

There's more than ever on pregnancy matters practical (including an expanded section on workplace concerns), physical (with more symptoms, more solutions), emotional (advice on riding the mood roller coaster), nutritional (from low-carb to vegan, from junk food-dependent to caffeine-addicted), and sexual (what's hot and what's not in pregnant lovemaking), as well as much more support for that very important partner in parenting, the dad-to-be". 

Your New Pregnancy Bible - The Experts Guide To Pregnancy And Early Parenthood by Dr Anne Deans

On the other hand, if you want to spend, like I did, hours staring at pictures of developing babies so you can gauge how big your little one is at every stage of your pregnancy, this is the book for you.  

Far friendlier in tone than "What to Expect",  it has clear explanations of the labour process and a great medical reference section. It gives added peace of mind because it was written by a team of eminent specialists under the direction of a leading UK obstetrician.

"....this latest edition of Your Pregnancy Bible has been updated to take account of recent changes in antenatal and newborn care and to provide more comprehensive discussion of caesarean deliveries. 

Given a fresh design, it still contains special fold-out sections on each of the trimesters and the birth process; week-by-week images of the developing baby; in-depth chapters dealing with all aspects of antenatal care, labour preparation, delivery experiences and care of the newborn; comprehensive reference sections on medical treatments and procedures in both pregnancy and the postnatal period and an extensive glossary of ante- and neonatal terminology". 

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer

When Caitlin was born I was completely clueless.  I hadn't even put a nappy on a baby before.  And I certainly didn't know anything about a day in the life of a baby.  For example, I had no idea that a newborn will need substantial naps during the day and will not be able to play for much more than 45 minutes at a time.

It was with a huge sigh of relief that I stumbled upon Tracy Hogg's wonderful Baby Whisperer books. Both this one and her problem solving guide (below) were invaluable in teaching me the importance of routines so that everyone in the family knows what is happening and where they are. Tracy sadly died in 2004 but her advice is still relevant today I think.

"In this remarkable parenting book, Tracy demystifies the magic she has performed with some five thousand babies. She teaches parents how to work out what kind of baby they have, what kind of mother and father they are, and what kind of parenting plan will work best for them. 

Believing that babies need to become part of the family - rather than dominate it - she has developed a practical programme that works with infants as young as a day old. Her methods are also applauded by scientists: 'Tracy's is a voice that should be heard. She appears very knowledgeable about modern infant research and has incorporated this to a level parents can understand. In spite of all the baby how-tos on the market, this one will stand out.'

In case you're wondering The Baby Whisperer method is often described as being in between crying it out methods and no tears methods. I liked it because Tracy does not advocate letting babies cry it out (unlike Gina Ford).  

BUT she does not advocate "accidental parenting" which is where parents accidentally use props to get baby to sleep - like giving them a bottle, or rocking them, for example.

Several methods are given in the book to help parents teach their baby the all important sleep basics which includes a strictly structured routine (E.A.S.Y.) and the pick up put down (pu/pd) method for putting baby to bed. 

E.A.S.Y. stands for Eating, Activity, Sleep and You and Tracy suggests timings for each activity according to the age of the baby.  The Pick Up, Put Down Method looks at how you put your baby to sleep in her cot and focuses on getting her to sleep alone.  Tracy suggests a "Four S" wind down ritual to set the scene (swaddling perhaps, sitting quietly, and shush-patting to help quieten your little one down). Even if you don't adopt her ideas wholesale,  there are enough ideas in the book to help you work out what works for you and your baby. 

The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems

The follow-on book to "Secrets Of The Baby Whisperer", this one answers a whole host of questions from parents of babies at differing stages of development.

It focuses on the "Big Three" - sleep, feeding and behaviour from infancy to the age of 3 and explains Tracy's philosophy and methods in much greater detail.  I think you really need both of these books to get the best out of the system.

Annabel Karmel's The Complete Baby and Toddler Meal Planner

Once Caitlin started her weaning around 4 months and had got past the baby rice and simple apple puree stage, I became completely stuck on what to feed her.  Annabel Karmel's books were fantastic at giving a range of ideas for simple purees and combinations to educate your child's palette and to introduce a wide range of foods.

I think it's no coincidence that Caitlin will now eat anything and is quite adventurous in her tastes (olives, for example).   By the time Ieuan came along, he had less of a range of purees and mini meals and, is far fussier with food than his sister.

You will need a good blender and a range of freezer proof pots in varying sizes. 

Annabel Karmel is undoubtedly the UK’s No.1 author on feeding babies and children and this particular book is the one I turned to time and time again.

It contains: "the best first foods to try, tasty recipes and ideas for introducing more complex flavours and textures; meal planners and time-saving menu charts allowing you to highlight and record which recipes your children liked and disliked. The original version of this book has sold over 4 million copies worldwide, with Annabel becoming a leading resource for parents who want to give their growing family tasty, wholesome meals that even the fussiest eaters will love".

So there you have it - my 5 pregnancy bibles, now handed on to other expectant mums so that they can feel as comforted by them as I did.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. I will only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers.

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