Costa Coffee Gift Cards - A Mother's Day Gift To Perk Her Up

I make no secret of the fact that I love Costa Coffee.  Their mini shortbread squares and bite size flapjacks are on my secret treat list (I have even been known to share them with the kids).

Costa Gift Cards - A Fab Mother's Day Pressie

Our local Costa (Cardiff Bay) is my bolt hole when the Husband returns from continental climes and offers me an hour or so sanctuary from the wall to wall bickering which seems to be a permanent feature at Hobbis Towers at the moment. (I'm referring to the kids here.  The Husband and I don't have the energy to bicker, save whether Top Gear viewing should take precedence over a Midsomer Murders rerun).

This Mother's Day, I'll be treating my mum to a Costa gift card since her Christmas present was her own body weight in Maltesers.  Costa gift cards can be easily bought online at www.costa.co.uk.

Simply complete the form, selecting how much you would like to put on the card (anything from £5 to £75). At the bottom of the screen you'll be asked to say how many cards you would like and then 'add to cart'. The card will appear in "Your Basket" at the top of the screen.  Click on it and then checkout. Cards will be dispatched the next working day and will arrive according to your chosen delivery method.

The card can be used in any participating Costa store for coffee, food or merchandise and the recipient is advised to register their card to protect their balance.  Note though that the card must be used within 12 months.  Note also that the card cannot be used in Costa Express outlets or in Northern Ireland. Check before you buy.

Since we are so close to Mother's Day, you can also send your Costa gift card as an egift. Simply complete the online form, add your message, choose a design for your card and add it to your basket.

The egift is simple to use - either by scanning the email at the counter or taking a paper print out. The minimum which can be loaded on a egift card is £10 and the maximum is £75.  Again, these can only be used in participating stores in England, Scotland and Wales and they must be used within 12 months or the balance will expire.

If you're a member of the Costa Coffee Club, you can accrue points when you use your giftcard or egift card towards additional Costa treats.

Further information:  www.costa.co.uk,  www.facebook.com/CostaCoffee, Twitter ID @CostaCoffee.

In case you're exhausted by all that Mother's Day shopping and need a coffee,  I have a lovely £20 giftcard up for grabs  (sorry, not useable in Northern Ireland).  Just fill in the rafflecopter widget below and good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway 

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Why can't I name the world's cleverest living women?

So, in a recent cosy night-time chat on the sofa with the kids, we talked about how proud I was of them and how it is almost time for Caitlin to go to junior school (part of her current school but on a different site).

Marie Curie, Voted The World's Greatest Female Scientist 

We talked about how some of her friends wouldn't yet be going because they were perhaps not developing as fast (for example they have health issues), but that physical impairment did not mean they were not as intelligent as everyone else.

The example I used was the great physicist Stephen Hawking, a genius in a body that is failing him. He is, I told the kids, one of the cleverest men in the world.

Mother Teresa

"Mum", said Caitlin, "who are the cleverest women in the world?". 

A simple enough question but a loaded one, nevertheless and, I am cross with myself to admit, one I could not answer with any rapidity. 

All the women I could think of, Florence Nightingale, Amelia Earhart, Marie Curie, Mother Teresa, Jane Austen are all long gone.

Once the kids were in bed, I had to ask myself the more important question "why do I not know who the world's cleverest women are". 

Is it a factor of my social media usage? The papers and magazines I read? 

Is it because society now finds Kim Kardashian's change of hair colour a far more useful barometer of a woman's value than the achievements of the unsung legions of women at the forefront of scientific, technical and artistic endeavour?

That cannot be true in a thinking society can it?

So, please can you help me out - and I promise to share. Let's name these inspirational women so that our daughters (and sons!) know their names and their achievements.

We surely owe it to the next generation of the world's cleverest women.

Caitlin 

I'd love it if you share your ideas in the comments below or tweet me with your thoughts. 

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Review: albumcards - Music To Mum's Ears This Mother's Day

Albumcards is a unique online service that offers a really different way to send a personalised greetings card and music gift.

Ideal for Mother's Day, the card comes complete with your message, the front cover of your mum's favourite album, a full track listing and a unique code to start listening.



An albumcard, fizz, flowers and chocs by Thorntons - what mum could ask for more?



If, like me, you are rushed for time, an albumcard can be purchased in a couple of minutes.

Just select the album, personalise the card, choose your delivery date and address and checkout.

If you are already familiar with other online card retailers, you will know the drill. At a cost of £9.99 plus postage (just 0.75p for first class delivery), it is a very reasonably priced gift. Plus if you order your albumcard before 2pm Monday to Friday, it can be delivered next day.

New albums are being loaded everyday and there are already 100 artist albums to choose from.

I found "Title" by Meghan Trainor, "Uptown Special" by Mark Ronson and "A Perfect Contradiction" by Paloma Faith but there is also AC/DC's "Rock or Bust" and "The Very Best of Stone Roses" - something for every taste.



Redeeming your album on receipt of your card is really easy too. Simply go to the website www.albumcards.com and select "Redeem a card".



Select "Collect my album" and you will be guided through the next steps.



You will need to create an account or, if you are already registered, you can sign in with Facebook.



You will need to enter the unique code found at the bottom of your card.



Then just press the "Listen Now" button.



Click on the album cover.



And either play via the website or download. The sound quality is an excellent MP3 320kbps.

Despite my mild to middling technophobia these days, I found the whole redemption process really easy.

albumcards are certainly a brilliant gift idea for Mother's Day.

Further information available from www.albumcards.com. The "I Love Mum" chocolate cups are available from Thorntons at £3.50.

*A PR sample was sent for the purpose of this post.

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Mother & Toddler Groups - It Ain't Over Till They Bring Out The Biscuits

While I'm in a 'fessin' up' type of mood, I thought I might explain one or two things about mother & toddler groups from an older mum's perspective (well, mine so please use the usual caveat that your experience may be far more enjoyable,  however.....).

I confess, occasionally we hid in the park rather than 'going to group'

I've talked before about the social isolation that hits stay at home mums, but the pangs can be much sharper if you are that bit older.  

For a start, you find that someone has waved a magic wand and removed your age group from the noisy throng.  

This is because they are generally all at work.  

You will find, as I did, that these groups tend to be populated by childminders, young mums and grandmothers.  

Any man brave enough to venture along is viewed with the same air of dubious amazement usually reserved for sightings of the Loch Ness Monster.

Mother & toddler groups also have a political structure more complex to fathom than the Illuminati. 

There are the Power Players (a position held by those who have access to the keys to the church hall - or similar drafty, echoey, slightly sticky venue), the Accolytes (those who willingly succumb to the tea roster) and the Outsiders, forever doomed to sit on the end of the row whilst the well established cliques view you with suspicion and carry on regardless. 

There are also the Token Helpers who will rush to sweep up biscuit crumbs and proffer a wet wipe and the 'One Who Is Brave Enough To Lead The Singing'.

Caitlin quite enjoyed going to mother & toddler group but Ieuan would never really join in - actually if you observe closely, toddlers generally just play in close proximity in any case.  

Nor would he join in with the singing.  

Nope.  

My son was there purely for the biscuits - and climbing on the furniture. 

Cue the occasional tut and muttering of "he'll hurt himself doing that". 

Short of leaving him belted into his buggy, this was the only interaction I could get Ieuan to have. 

Yes, be under no illusion. 

You are going public with your mothering skills.

One of our local groups featured childminders who would sit the length of one side of the hall and grans, young mums and us 'oddities' would sit on the other with very little interaction between the two groups.  

It was like a highly dysfunctional barn dance.

People would say to me "but you'll have so much in common".

But the truth is, actually you don't, beyond teething, sleeping through and the other baby milestones which become badges of honour in these groups.

That said, I do think attending mother & toddler groups is a good thing.  

You are giving your child the opportunity to learn new social skills and introducing them to their peer group - those children with whom they will probably go through the education system - their future classmates, in other words.  

Plus, you are getting out of the house - a process which in the early days makes appearing on "The Cube" look like a walk in the park.

And it does get easier.  And you do learn, through the experience that is shared, that kids develop at different rates.  There is no magic "sleep through the night" week. Potty training is generally not achieved in three days flat, no matter what the latest poo-coaching book you found on Amazon says. You are not the only mum who has forgotten to brush her hair.

Hands up.  I went solely for my children and I understand completely why mums (even younger ones) may find the experience so difficult.  So if you are struggling to drag yourself out twice a week to sing "The Wheels on The Bus" and you can't muster up any enthusiasm for making an Easter basket, rest assured, many of us do understand.

But my advice would be, grit your teeth and bear it.  

Once they're in school, you'll be able to look back and say you did your bit for their social development - even if it feels your own still needs a bit of work!

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Silent Sunday - 08/03/15

Sunday lunch at our favourite Pizza Express in Cardiff Bay

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Having Babies After 40. My Experience.

I distinctly remember standing in my office looking out over the busy Cardiff street and wondering if I would ever have a family. I had just turned 40 and, although my biological clock had long been surpressed, I was beginning to feel that there had to be more to life than marketing legal services! Odd that it took at least 20 years to come to that conclusion, but there you are.

Caitlin, born November 2007

I'm writing this because I want to say, to any woman out there staring out of the window this morning and wishing, that it is possible to start a family after 40.  Yes of course we read in the Media about the number of babies being born to older mothers increasing year on year.  Yes we see the endless debates about whether it is "right" to have a baby so close to, let's be frank, the menopause. It is, detractors say, selfish to create a life when you are so close to conking out yourself.  Your children will be 'mortified' when you turn up at the school gates wearing elasticated trousers and bearing a zimmer frame.

Well, here's a newsflash.  Having a baby is a 'selfish' act.  We are programmed to reproduce.  We are not actually on the planet to rearrange scatter cushions and pet the cat.  Survival of the species is all. I am not talking about here about assisted conception, merely the perfectly natural urge of a woman to bear children in her reproductive years - which generally continue into her forties.

My story is briefly this.  It took over a year to conceive my daughter and in fact our first attempt resulted in a miscarriage at 6 weeks.  The consultant we saw at the hospital was completely matter of fact about it. The baby's heart was not beating and I could either have a D&C or go home and let nature take its course.  Devastating as this was, it became clear upon consulting "Dr Google", that miscarriage is incredibly common and not necessarily a bar to going on to conceive and deliver a healthy child.

We tried again.  We tried modifying our diets.  Little caffeine, reduced alcohol, exercise, taking my temperature (useless - it didn't seem to move at all), tracking ovulation dates, standing on our heads.... you get the picture. After about a year of this I had come to the conclusion that, at 42, it just wasn't going to happen and was referred to the consultant (who would later become my maternity consultant) with a view to fertility treatment.  During my examination (which featured what seems to be the obligatory medical student these days), the consultant pointed out that my eggs looked perfectly OK and I was about to ovulate.

Somewhat cheered by this I began to relax and on Valentines Day we went to a local Cardiff restaurant to celebrate where, for the first time in months, too much wine was consumed and Caitlin was later conceived.  I am convinced that as soon as I relaxed, my body was more willing to co-operate. I think stress is a huge bar to conception for some women.

I sailed through the pregnancy, although I managed to put on four stone! Although I did not have morning sickness, I had a constant gnawing hunger and indigestion which only cheese would stop. Aside from slightly low iron levels, rectified by a simple supplement, I had no other problems. You would not have known that I was 42.

Something that we did do, however, being aware of the increased risk of Down's Syndrome and other genetic problems for older mothers, was to have a Nuchal Translucency Scan, for which we paid privately.  This is an ultrasound scan to measure the collection of fluid under the skin at the back of the baby's neck which is an indicator of Down's if the baby has an increased amount.  The results of my scan were encouraging and on par with those of a woman in her thirties apparently.

My waters broke in the early evening on 14th November and we duly took ourselves in to the University Hospital of Wales where Caitlin was born by emergency caesarian the next morning weighing in at 7lb 14oz.  I had dutifully studied the Mothercare catalogue and typed up a birth plan but this was of no use whatsoever.  The surgery team were fantastic.  I felt no pain whatsoever thanks to an epidural and top up anaesthetic when I went into theatre. Two days later we were home.

I tried to breastfeed.  Expressing the colostrum (the pre-milk) to get things going was very painful. Once my milk came through Caitlin had difficulty latching on and never seemed to be able to get enough milk.  I used to watch whole episodes of Midsomer Murders whilst feeding.  

When it became clear that Caitlin was not gaining sufficient weight and feeling incredibly guilty, I consulted my lovely midwife who said that I should not beat myself up about putting Caitlin on formula and that many, many women struggle with breastfeeding.  I had managed ten weeks so, although this wasn't ideal, at least I had tried. Whether my breastfeeding problems had anything to do with my age, I'm not sure.  I think it's doubtful.

We had decided that, if it were possible, to provide Caitlin with a sibling and started trying relatively soon on the basis that it took so long to conceive our daughter.   Ieuan was born when I was 45, just 18 months after Caitlin, this time by elective caesarian, at a bouncing 9 lbs 2 oz.  I put him straight onto formula and he downed 4 oz immediately.

Now I know that my way may not be yours.  You may not approve of caesarians or bottle feeding. You may not be as lucky as I was in terms of your own fertility.  I was lucky enough to find a wonderful man to support me and who wanted to start a family.  The truth is each of us may have our own obstacles to overcome but, as the quote says "we will either find a way or make one".

What I want you to take away from this is that starting a family after 40 is possible.  It is your life. Decide what is right for you and what compromises you are prepared to make.  For example, I worry sometimes about dying before my kids have reached middle age.  There is an increased pressure on us as a couple to keep ourselves healthy and young in outlook.

Ieuan's First Christmas in 2009

But if I think of my life without Caitlin and Ieuan now, it would be somehow pointless, barren and flat.  Of course I wish that I could have met my husband ten or fifteen years ago, but perhaps I wouldn't have been ready then, wouldn't have had the wisdom, patience or, more importantly, the courage I have now.

And that is what I wish for you.  Courage.  And hope.

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Frozen Wonderland - Caitlin's Poem For World Book Day 2015

Frozen trees scattered with frost.

Pretty snowflakes shimmer like the shining ice.

Wonderful snow sparkles like the dancing snowflakes.

The branches hang down loaded with the frosted ice.

On a white mountain full of snow,

live reindeer galloping around the trees.

Beyond the reindeer mountain lies an ice castle.

The snow queen lives in the ice castle.

There she lies in snow, ice and frost

This is a frozen wonderland.

My daughter, Caitlin (aged 7)

Caitlin Hobbis (age 7)

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