A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed

We all need a helping hand in our lives at some time or another. We can often rely on our partners and relatives, but it is important to also remember that we can always ask our friends whenever we need some help as well!

After all, there is that old saying ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’!

Do you want to be there for your friends as often as you can? There are various ways you can offer them your help.

Here are some very common situations in which they might get a bit stressed out. If you know that a close friend of yours is going through one of these, don’t be scared to ask them if they could do with a hand. I’m sure they will enthusiastically take you up on your offer!

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A New Baby

There is nothing quite as stressful as welcoming a new baby into your home! Sure, it is a very happy time that is filled with joy, but it can be very difficult to deal with all the changes, especially for new mums.

If one of your friends has just had a new baby, you should let her know that you are there for her to help her out with anything she needs.

That might just be some words of wisdom or advice if you already have kids. But there might also be some practical stuff that you can help her with too.

You will no doubt know just how tiring living with a newborn can be, so one nice idea is to offer to look after the baby whenever she needs to take a well-earned nap.

If you have any old clothes or toys that your kids no longer use, you could consider passing them on to the newborn. Baby things are very expensive, and I’m sure your friend will really appreciate this thoughtful gift!



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Planning A Child’s Birthday Party

Once the newborn has grown up, there will be a big birthday bash to plan each year!

These are very easy to do when kids are young, as babies and toddlers won’t demand too much for their party. In fact, many parents simply organize a small gathering at home with close friends and relatives.

However, things can get very stressful once the child grows up and starts to make demands!

If you know a friend is struggling to plan their child’s party, you should offer to help them out. For instance, why not say that you will take care of the food?

You could also help with a variety of other small jobs. Offer to ring around a few different venues to see who can offer the best price, or help your friend post out all the invitations.

No matter how small the job is, I’m sure it will be a big help for your friend!



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Moving House

Another extremely stressful situation to go through is moving house.

There is a lot to organize and plan in order for moving day to go very smoothly, such as packing and hiring some movers.

If your friend is dreading their upcoming moving day, offer a helping hand to them. You could nip around to their house and help them pack up their final few things before the movers arrive.

Another great idea is to take care of their kids while they are packing and sorting things out. Having the kids around while your friend and her partner are trying to get on will only slow them down and cause them to get stressed out.

Taking them away for the day will certainly help your friend out.

It would also be a nice gesture to help them to organize a housewarming party. You could buy them a few gifts, like hampers with prosecco in them and send out invites to friends and family.

It doesn’t have to be a huge occasion; just a small gathering in their new home will be enough to help them celebrate!



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Job Troubles

No one wants to go through a difficult period at work.

If you think your friend is having trouble in their job, for whatever reason, you should offer them a shoulder to cry on or just be there ready to turn the kettle on whenever they need a strong cup of tea and a chat!

More often than not, just being there to talk through their problems with them will be enough to take a large load off their shoulders.

But there may sometimes be other ways you can help. For instance, if your friend ever needs a character reference, you should offer to write them one.

One reason why our jobs can become so stressful is because more and more people have to work longer hours. If this is the case for your friend, offer to pick up her kids from school and look after them until she or her partner can pick them up. That way, the don’t have to worry about expensive childcare.




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Relationship Worries

Do you have a suspicion that your friend’s relationship is going through a rocky patch?

If so, invite them round for a brew or glass of wine and see if she will open up to you about things.

Simply talking through problems will be a great way to help her out. They do say that a problem shared is a problem halved, after all!

However, if she doesn’t open up to you, then you shouldn’t force her to. I’m sure that she will in her own time.

If your friend is going through a divorce, all of this emotional support will be a great help.

You should also try to organise as many nights out and catch ups over coffee as possible so that you can take her mind off things.

Let her know that she can give you a call, no matter the time, if she ever needs to have a chat with someone!

As you can see, there are plenty of ways you can be there for all your friends!

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Thinking Of Taking Out Finance: What Are Your Options?

You can’t always afford to pay for the things you want outright. A home improvement, new car or holiday could all stretch to hundreds or thousands of pounds – and about 40 per cent of people have less than £500 in savings.

So, when a big ticket purchase comes along, what can you do? It’s important to weigh up your options and see which is the best deal for you.

Here are the options that you can typically turn to:

Personal loan: With this option you apply to a lender to get a sum, which is normally several thousand pounds. The lender will need to approve your application and will do this, in part at least, by looking at your credit rating. This is usually paid back over a couple of years at an agreed interest rate. This form of finance allows you to sign up to a clear contract in which you know how much you’ll pay back each month and in total. You can use a loan calculator to be sure about the amount you’ll pay.

Payday loans: Slightly different from personal loans, payday loans are intended to tide you over until your wages come into your account. They are typically given for small amounts and carry a very high interest rate because they are intended to be paid back very quickly.

Overdraft: If you spend more money than you actually have in your bank account then you’ll dip into your overdraft. You need to have permission from the bank to be able to do this, but most banks will allow you a limited amount of money by way of overdraft and some won’t charge you for using this. It’s important to check with your bank and you can talk to them and ask to extend this if you are finding that your current agreed limit is insufficient. This should be seen as a short term option – perhaps when you’re awaiting a payday – and you shouldn’t just treat your overdraft as ‘extra money’ in your account.

Credit card: This little plastic friend can get you out of a hole and allow you to buy something you cannot afford outright. These will come with a credit limit – the maximum you can spend on the card – and might carry interest and charges if you don’t pay the money back in full by a certain date. Many lenders will offer introductory interest free offers, which makes these attractive, short term forms of lending.

Store cards: These products are similar to credit cards – but are linked to one store or chain of stores. Store cards might offer rewards for your loyalty – such as cashback or money off vouchers – but they might also carry a higher interest rate than credit cards.

Credit unions: These are smaller co-operatives, aiming to ‘do good’ for the community by lending to those in need. They tend to offer smaller amounts - £3,000 or lower – and can only charge a maximum of 3% a month interest.

Peer-to-peer lending: This has become popular in recent years as a new way to access finance. It involves individuals providing the finance for lenders through websites that are set up purely to match one to the other. They are able to get a better interest rate than they would in a savings account, while the borrower typically pays less than they would for getting a personal loan. There is, however, less protection for both parties than dealing with a bank or building society.

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Strike A Balance Between Comfy And Cool With Your Look

Getting fashion right isn't always easy, and we tend to go through different stages of it throughout our lives. When we are young, free and single, most of us prioritize looking good above all else - even if that means constantly having to straighten out a shirt that's ruched up under your pencil skirt, or wearing a dress so tight, you aren't quite sure whether you will ever breathe again normally.

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As we get older and work and family life takes over, a lot of people tend to head to another end of the spectrum entirely - the land of comfort. This means that gone are the days of lace blouses and tight denim - now it's all about sweatpants and plain jumpers (the baggier, the better). But this transformation into the typical mum uniform can be pretty disheartening for many mothers.

After all, since when did having children mean that you can no longer dress in a way that allows you to express yourself?

Fashion is an art form, and when we lose our fashion mojo, it can sometimes feel as though we've lost a lot of our creativity along with it. But is there actually a way to be a style icon while being a busy mother, AND holding down a full-time job? You'll be pleased to know that there IS a way to achieve this - but you'll need to get savvy.

In order to create a workable look for yourself, you'll need to be prepared to fit the fashion around your lifestyle, not the other way around.

The key to doing this is to find workable pieces of clothing that are comfortable, but that also speak to you on an aesthetic level.

This way, you can strike a perfect balance between being comfortable and able to run around after your kids, but also looking pretty fabulous while you do so. Check out my guide below.

Rock some flats

Have you grown up in an era where the 'feminine' thing to do was to wear heels 24/7? Sure, heels can make a woman's outfit look that little bit more girly and glam, and there are some occasions where a pair of heels are very much warranted - a fancy dinner, or a work party, for example.

But wearing them all the time (even mid-heeled boots) can end up causing long-lasting damage to your feet.

Blisters, bunions and ingrown toenails are the least of your worries when it comes to wearing heels - nerve damage, spider veins and even back problems can all be caused or worsened by the long-term wearing of high heels.

In order to preserve your feet for years to come and to make rushing around throughout the day just that little bit easier, make a point of investing in some stylish flats.

Many women think that a flat shoe cannot be stylish, but this is where they are wrong!

There are so many different designs available. For example, you might go for a preppy loafer or boating shoe, or maybe a daintily embellished ballet flat.

Alternatively, a good pair of trainers are something every woman should have in her wardrobe - trainers aren't just for teenagers, you know! Opt for a classic brand such as Converse or Vans for a timeless look - shoes like this can add a fun, youthful edge to just about any outfit.

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Loose trousers

If there is one item of clothing that restricts our daily movement more than any other, it is the tight trouser. We are all aware of the fashion for skinny jeans - sometimes jeans that are so skinny they almost look as though they were sprayed on!

As fabulous as they can look, however, they are not the most practical things to wear on a daily basis.

Of course, you may try to run your various errands in them - going to work, doing housework, ferrying the kids to and from their various after-school clubs. But all it takes is one awkward squat as you reach down to pick up a discarded toy off the floor, and that's when you hear it: the dreaded rip.

No one wants to be accused of public indecency swanning around in a pair of torn jeans - so this is just one definitive reason why you may want to consider switching to boyfriend jeans.

Boyfriend jeans (just like the boyfriend shirt or jacket) are designed in such a way to make them look as though you borrowed them from your boyfriend. In this respect, they are usually made with a wide yet straight leg, have deeper pockets (very useful) and need to be tied up around the waist.

They allow for much more movement simply because they are looser, but that doesn't mean you need to compromise on style.

Wear your boyfriend jeans with a tucked-in stripy t-shirt for a casual cool, or you can even pair with a lacy crop top for a night out.

Other types of loose trousers are also great for everyday wear if denim isn't really your thing. Palazzo pants have recently come back into fashion as the seventies trend resurfaces, or how about a good pair of harem pants - perfect for both lounging in and going about your daily business.

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Casual cool

Over the past year, we have seen a couple of interesting new trends emerging in high fashion. One is the sports luxe look - the other is the trend for pyjama suits.

Huge fashion brands such as Fendi have been branching out into clothing that takes inspiration from sportswear - but that has been twisted so that it is acceptable to wear on just a regular day.

The benefit of all this? You are on trend and my, you are comfortable too!

An easy way to get this look is to don a pair of luxe joggers (if Fendi is a little out of your budget, there are plenty of great high street imitations too) and pair with a simple, chic t-shirt or jumper.

As far as the pyjama look goes, things are a little more complex. You have to get it completely right. Otherwise, it can just look as though you simply haven't bothered to get dressed that day.

The first step is to look for something tailored - this is what will make your 'pyjama set' look more like actual clothes, rather than sleepwear. Then, pay attention to the material you choose. Avoid cotton at all costs - instead opt for something like a suit material, or maybe satin if you are feeling particularly luxurious.

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Throws and ponchos

We may be on our way into spring now, but that doesn't mean we don't still have the occasional bitterly cold day.

When the temperature drops and it's rainy and cold, most of us want nothing more than to hide out in a cozy blanket at home, away from the prying eyes of the world. But, as is life, we usually need to leave the house to get on with our days.

Thankfully, there is a way you can stay cool and comfy and warm all at once - and it is with the help of blankets and ponchos.

We really saw blankets come into their own in the autumn/winter season of last year, so if you've still got one, don't be afraid to rock it!

Simply wrap up in it whichever way feels most natural to you - if you want to make the look a little more streamlined, simply cinch yourself in at the waist with a stylish belt. As long as your arms are still free, there really isn't a more comfortable piece of clothing to snuggle up in on a cold and frosty morning.

Fashion and comfort don't have to be mutually exclusive - there are plenty of ways you can feel good and look good every single day.

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The Best Ways of Making Some Extra Money on the Side

When finances are tight, there are two options available to you: make some cutbacks to reduce your outgoings or try to increase your income. The latter is not easily achieved, particularly if you want to, say, double your salary but making a little bit of extra cash is certainly do-able.

In order to give your income a slight boost, you won’t have to take up a second job, in fact it might simply involve monetising something that you already do. If you’re looking to make a little bit of extra money on the side, here are some of the ways you can do so.

Image credit: Pexels

Sell your unwanted stuff

There are a few ways of earning extra money that also come with added benefits – and selling your unwanted stuff is certainly one of them. Over the years, everyone acquires a few items that they no longer want or need but which they inexplicably hang onto. These items are not only useless, but they also take up space, meaning a good clear out is in order.

There are now a wide range of online outlets that let you sell your unwanted goods and the fast-paced consumer-centric life that many of us lead suggests that there are plenty of items worth selling. Old gadgets such as laptops and mobile phones are one of the most popular items people trade in for cash, however, if you're looking to sell something like your laptop then the one main question you'll have is 'Where can I sell my laptop?"

Blog

There are now more blogs than ever before, with every conceivable topic being covered, from technology to travel. If you enjoy writing then there really is no barrier to you starting your own blog. There a variety of free hosting options available to you and you can write as often as you like, about whichever topic you like.

In addition, if your blog starts to gain a dedicated online following, there’s a strong possibility that it could make you some money. Advertising revenue is one way of generating some extra cash and you could also let brands pay for guest blog posts. Although you should always start your blog because you’re passionate about your subject matter, the extra income certainly comes as a bonus. Plus, all you need for it to become successful is to write regularly and from the heart.

Offer a helping hand

If you’re the sort of person that enjoys helping others, then you could offer your time in exchange for a small fee. Apps like TaskRabbit let you create a profile where you list your particular skills, the hours you are able to work and your rate. Once that’s done you simply match up to people that need a task completed and head on over. Tasks can range from the relatively straightforward, like taking out the garbage to more complicated like DIY projects.

Other outlets, like Fiverr, host a similarly broad range of jobs, with prices starting from as low as $5. While this may not seem like much, many of the jobs will not take you long to complete. This means that anytime you find a spare moment you could be earning yourself a bit of extra cash. It might not be a lot, but every little bit helps.

Take up a creative hobby

If you have a creative hobby, then you could already have a money-making method that is going untapped. Whether you knit, write, paint, or express yourself in any other way, you could turn your creations into cash.

Arts and crafts are very popular at the moment and you’ll be able to sell your wares through online auction sites or specialist outlets like Etsy. Alternatively, if you’d rather take the old-fashioned approach, a local market or car-boot sale also provides the perfect opportunity to make a bit of extra money on the side.

Make some shrewd investments

When you hear the word “investment,” you might think of huge corporations or suited individuals running around Wall Street, but small scale investments can work well too. There are a host of online resources to get you up to speed and mobile apps are available to let you manage your investments from your smartphone.

Of course, no investment is without risk, so only use money that you can afford to lose. On the plus side, however, a successful investment counts as passive income, so there’s not much work you have to do, except for keeping an eye on those share prices.

Share the knowledge

If you have knowledge in a particular field, then sharing it could also make you some extra cash. Digital technologies have opened the teaching field so anyone can get involved. You could start off by creating a few YouTube tutorials on the subject of your choice to see if teaching suits you before moving on to more bespoke tutoring platforms.

Website like Udemy let you create your own online courses, which you sell to interested students. The great thing is that you get to choose the subject and teach the material in any way you like.

Or share your home.

The sharing economy is big business and you could get in on the action by sharing your home. Airbnb lets you rent out a room, or the entire property, to tenants on a short-term basis. On the one hand, this does mean inviting strangers into your home, but on the other you will get to meet lots of interesting new people.

Renting out your home in this way works particularly well if you are going on holiday. While you're away and your property remains empty, you can pay off part of the holiday by letting a fellow traveller stay in your home.

Answer a few questions

Information is worth money to businesses and brands, which means that you could earn some extra cash simply by answering a few questions. Research studies and online questionnaires won’t take up much of your time, but will result in you having a little bit of extra pocket money. And what could be easier than answering a few questions?

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Win An InfaCare Baby Hamper worth £25

My two are old enough to bath themselves now but I can still remember the joy (and occasional stress) of bath time when they were little.

It can be a great time to bond and play with your little ones and a night-time bath is a chance to help them settle and hopefully drift off into uninterrupted sleep. Note:  I said 'hopefully'!

I do remember becoming totally obsessed with Caitlin's and Ieuan's sleep routines - and that really is the key I found, develop a solid sleep routine as early as possible - and bath time can play an important part of that.

You can find details of the pregnancy bibles that got me through here and you can also win a copy of the latest pregnancy best seller by NHS midwife Clemmie Hooper - "How To Grow A Baby *and Push It Out" on my competitions page.

It's important to use products which are gentle on baby's skin which is 10 times more delicate than adult skin and InfaCare Night Time Baby Bath is formulated to be as natural and gentle as possible.

InfaCare say that, when asked, up to 70% of parents described it as “ideal” for their bedtime routine.

You don’t need to use much of the InfaCare Night Time Baby Bath to produce a bath full of long-lasting bubbles to play with and it has a gentle relaxing fragrance to help ease tots into bed and then off to sleep.

You can find InfaCare at all major supermarkets, as well as Lloyd’s Pharmacy and Boots. InfaCare Baby Bath £2.15 for 400ml / £3.19 for 750ml and InfaCare Night Time Baby Bath £3.49 for 750ml.

More information can be found at www.infacare.co.uk, on Twitter/@infaCareBaby or at Facebook.com/infacarebabybath.

Giveaway

I have an InfaCare Baby Bath Time Hamper to give away worth £25.

It includes:-

2 x InfaCare Baby Bath (750ml),
2 x InfaCare Night Time Bath (750ml),
1 x hooded baby towel
2 x flannels.

Entry is via the Rafflecopter widget and the usual terms and conditions apply which can be viewed on my competitions page.  UK entrants only and the giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Friday 10th March.


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Good luck!

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Amazing Free & Bargain Books With This Linky! Week 8 2017

How are you all this week?  Many of you will be coming to the end of Half Term but here in Wales the fun starts week.

We've lots of ideas for getting out and about, we just need to drag the kids away from Roblox and Minecraft.

How times have changed!

Our walls regularly ring to the sound of "for heavens sake put those tablets down and go read a book".

We'll get there - eventually.

It's World Book Day on March 2nd - a great day for reminding ourselves just how important reading is and if you are faced with the annual challenge of dressing your kids up as their favourite literary characters, you might this post a useful resource.

As usual, there are some great books on the linky for us grown-ups - and don't forget you can always add your own to spread a bit of the book love.

Don't forget that I still have plenty to be won on my competitions page and don't forget my problem page here.

Happy bargain and freebie book hunting on this link.

Have a great week!

Sharing the Love of Books
Enjoy our selection of New Releases / Free & Bargain Books this week

Authors please feel free to add your own books
Readers please free to add your own finds
(any genre except erotica welcome)

This weekly link up is hosted by Beck Valley Books & these awesome book loving blogs...
Monday
 Life as Leels | IrishdaisylovesRomance | Book Babble | All Romance Reader
Tuesday
It's My Side of Life | Celticlady's Reviews | First Time Mommy Adventures 
Wednesday
Beck Valley Books | Cinnamon Hollow Reviews
Thursday
Miki's Hope | Nicki's Nook
Friday
Ebook Addicts | I Love Romance | Colorimetry | The Ultimate Fan Blog | Mother Distracted
Saturday
Totally Addicted to Reading | 3 Partners in Shopping | Angie's Angle | I Create Purty Thangs | Wishful Endings
Sunday
Lynchburg Mama | LibriAmoriMiei | Ali - The Dragon Slayer | Wondermom Wannabe | Deal Sharing Aunt | Rambling Reviews 

For Pre-orders post - PRE-ORDER / genre / title /author

For New Releases post - NEW / genre / title / author

For Free Books post - FREE / genre / title / author / end date 

For Bargain Books post - SALE / price / genre / title / author / end date
(Strictly no Erotica please.  Steamy romance is fine but watch those covers people, incase any underage child is viewing it!)

Click here for this weeks awesome selection!

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Easy Dressing Up Ideas For World Book Day

Don't panic.  It's World Book Day on 2nd March 2017 and the challenge is on to kit your child out as their favourite character from a book.

In case your imagination has run dry and you need inspiration, the following posts should give you plenty of budget-friendly ideas.

And don't worry, if you're a craft-duffer like I am, trust me you will be able to do one of these.

And if not, there's always Smiffys, or Amazon (bad mum alert!).

Keep reading for plenty of useful suggestions and the relevant links.

Worldbookday.com

2017 celebrates the 20th World Book Day, the aim of which is to encourage children in the UK and Ireland to explore the pleasures of books and reading by providing them with the opportunity to have a book of their own.

Schools are being sent packs of Book Tokens and age-ranged World Book Day Resource Packs (age-ranged into Nursery/Pre-School, Primary and Secondary) full of ideas and activities, display material and more information about how to get involved in World Book Day.

World Book Day has its own really useful website with plenty of dressing up ideas which you can find here.

This year if you donate £1 to dress up and you can help change lives at the same time by helping Book Aid International.

You'll find even more dressing up ideas on the Book Aid International website here.

Ieuan as Willy Wonka

30 last-minute World Book Day costume ideas that you can create at home without a needle and thread

Wales Online have put together some really useful ideas - and you could even re-use the costumes you doubtless had to cobble together for Roald Dahl Day last year.

World Book Day 2015: What To Wear - The Guardian

A useful collection of real life costumes featuring photos parents have sent in to the Guardian's photo gallery.

As you might expect, you'll find some useful ideas on Netmums and Mumsnet.

If you live in the North East, ChronicleLive has 41 Inspiring World Book Day Costumes From Families in Newcastle and the North East.

More ideas from The Daily Post in North Wales in its piece "When is World Book Day 2017. Some Ideas And Find Out What Is Expected To Be This Year's Best Seller"

Caitlin as Matilda

More ideas from the Manchester Evening News and the Liverpool Echo and ChronicleLive's "10 World Book Day Costume Ideas from Tesco, Asda and Sainsburys".

This list may also help "15 Best Children's Books Of All Time" from The Telegraph.

But are there any characters you shouldn't dress your child up as?  I recently heard the story of a woman who sent her son to school dressed as serial killer Dexter and then there was the mum whose son's favourite book was his Top Gear Annual - so she sent him in dressed as Jeremy Clarkson.

And on that bombshell......

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My Problem Page Edition 7 2017

This week I'm talking about how to deal with Tinnitus in social situations and when a fantasy Facebook relationship collapses.

If you would like any advice, feel free to treat me as your agony aunt. Just message me or pop a comment in the comment box at the end of this post. I promise to be gentle.

Here are this week's questions.

Q: I have tinnitus and sensitive hearing. How can I protect my ears at parties without looking stupid? 

I want to socialise with friends but I need to protect hearing as I have tinnitus already. I don't want to wear massive ear protectors so what should I do?

A: I wear Alpine Pro musicians earplugs (you can get them on Amazon) which come in a little case and which I just pop in when the volume gets too loud. 

They don’t block out all the sound but just filter out the worst of it so you should still be able to hear conversation, although it may be slightly muffled. But I would rather that, than risk setting off a tinnitus spike. 

People may notice you putting them in so I’d just laugh it off and say “you know me, sensitive ears” or be honest about your tinnitus. 

Loads of people suffer with it and I think the more people who talk about it the better. I talk about it in my post "If You Have Tinnitus, You Need To Make Friends With Spike". 

Until we sufferers bring tinnitus out into the open, our chances of forcing medical action and research into a cure a reduced. I tell everyone I have it - once you get over that hurdle, it’s no problem to put your earplugs in without any comment. 

I hope that you have had a medical checkup and advice about your tinnitus. It may be caused by something that can be treated, for example certain medications and high blood pressure. 

Don’t (pardon the pun) suffer in silence.

Q: Do guys not talk to pretty girls because they assume they have boyfriends? 

A: It’s all about confidence and if a guy’s self-esteem is low he will not think he’s ‘good enough’ to approach a pretty girl. 

That’s a real shame because as we grow up and mature we realise it’s really not about looks, it’s about being a kind, loving, intelligent person. 

I can’t tell from your question whether you are the shy guy or the pretty girl but either way there’s nothing to stop you striking up a conversation. 

A smile and a friendly hello won’t hurt and you never know where it may lead. 

And if you’re like that with everyone there’s no risk, is there?

Q: My boyfriend dumped me but he says he misses me. We talk everyday but he is determined about not getting back together. What am I supposed to infer? 

A: This man is just playing games and pulling your heart strings royally, isn’t he? 

Why are you still talking to him every day? Is it because you are hoping he’ll come back? 

Isn’t it likely that if he does he’ll treat you badly all over again? 

Unless he dumped you because you cheated on him - in which case I can understand why he misses you but has no intention of coming back, I’d get busy and stop answering his calls. 

Work out what the real reason you split up is and then set the intention that you both deserve something better.

Q: How do I get over an ex boyfriend using me for sex and free babysitting?

A: Your ex is clearly not a very nice man but I think you need to take a little responsibility for this.

I’m assuming you were not forced into sex in which case that is a different and more serious issue.

I think you are smarting at being taken advantage of - as we all would be - particularly if he has just dumped you.  

All you can do is tell yourself that you will never put yourself in that position again. 

Work on your self-confidence and learn to recognise when a man is not truly interested in you for you.  
If you’re honest, there were probably one or two warning bells weren’t there? 

Get this man out of your life and find someone who deserves you.

Q: Why am I obsessed with a girl whom I've never met? 

I met a girl on Facebook and she is from Honduras. We lived in two differently countries and talked everyday. We even planned a future together and marriage. We eventually broke up and she's now dating someone else. Why am I so heart broken?

A: Because you invested in a fantasy that contained, no risk, no danger, no need to change yourself in any way and, sadly, absolutely no reality. 

We can be as fiercely protective of our dreams as we can of our ‘real life’. You have no idea what this girl was really like. 

Anybody can write anything on Facebook and post images from anywhere. 

Sometimes though, our fantasies are a great way or testing our feelings, of asking ourselves ‘what if’. The problem is when they become an escape and an excuse for going out there and having a real relationship. 

The pain you are now feeling will fade - and the quickest way to make it go is to get out there and have a real relationship with a girl who lives close to you - and certainly in the same country.

How would you have responded to these questions? I'd love to know. You can find more advice on my problem page.

Disclaimer: All materials included in this post are intended for informational purposes only. This post/information is not intended to and should not be used to replace medical or psychiatric advice offered by physicians or other health care providers. The author will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages arising therefrom.

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Hate Your Job? Do These NOW.

There is nothing more miserable than working in a job you hate.  You can't deal with it, though, by ignoring how unhappy you are.  We get one life.  Time to take ACTION.

1.  Ask yourself - Should I stay or should I go now?

Many of us can't afford to leave a job on a whim and it takes time to research job opportunities and to assess whether your current skills need honing or even if you need to retrain.  But one things for certain, you need a strategy to cope with the misery of working in a job you hate - one that might just possibly turn everything around.  You need to take action NOW.

2. Whoops, is my attitude showing?

If you're miserable in your job, it's highly likely that everyone's noticed - including your boss.  Time to grit your teeth and plaster a smile back on your face.  If you want to leave, leave on your terms not theirs and moping around like a sad sack is a quick route to the door.

3.  Do the job

I know you hate it but spending hours playing Solitaire and messaging your mates on Facebook isn't going to make you star employee of the month.  And you do know that lots of firms have software now that tracks the websites you're using?  You wouldn't be daft enough to spend hours bidding on Ebay or doing your online grocery shop, would you?

4. Improve the way you do the job

Go back to basics and try to do the job the way you did when you were a fresh, frisky and relatively unjaded employee.  That means dressing professionally, minding your manners, being friendly to your colleagues and respectful to the management.  It means focusing on the task at hand and doing it the way you'd expect it to be done if YOU were the boss.

5.  Ask for training

If you struggle with a particular area (e.g. spreadsheets) ask if you can have some training.  It's a double whammy because not only will you learn skills you can take to your next job, you'll look peachy keen to the Management.

6.  Don't join the office pity party

There is usually a gaggle of employees who band together at coffee breaks (or when the boss isn't looking) to discuss how the firm is about to go to the wall, how it is a terrible place to work, how bad (or non-existent) the perks are.  You can be sure that these employees will have a hit list of staff they hate (starting with their manager and working down).  They are such fabulous employees they should be paid more, have more holidays, longer lunch hours - you get the picture.  And should the management actually give the staff a treat (e.g. a bottle of wine at Christmas), these are the people who will pretend to be deeply insulted.  "Oh, they think a bottle of wine will make up for all the rubbish we have to put up with".

Don't join them.  Management will be well aware who they are and there will inevitably be one of their number who, in an attempt to pull rank and feather their own nest, will be reporting the juicy bits back to management.

7.  But do join in

You're not that lonely soul who never makes tea or coffee for anyone else and insists on their own special mug (which they clean themselves) are you?  Are you the one who never goes for a drink after work or at lunchtime?  Heck, if you really don't want to be popular why not take the tested route of never covering your food in the microwave and leaving others to clean up the mess?

Recite after me "I AM a team player".

8.  Update your CV

And while you're at it do a little research (at HOME) to see what the current popular styles of CV are. What is it that you can bring to a job.  If I were to employ YOU as a consultant, what could you do for me?  Get someone else to proof read your CV for spelling mistakes.  Make sure there are no gaps in your employment history - and if there are be ready to explain why in an interview.

9.  Work out what your transferable skills are

In the past, people had one job which they expected to do till retirement. Today it is entirely likely that you'll have many jobs, possibly even multiple careers.  A helpful way to think is that you are not an employee but a consultant.  Work out what skills you have that could be used in other jobs and write them down to add to your CV.  Great at organising?  A whizz with spreadsheets?  Great team motivator?  Write it down but with concrete examples to back it up.  Otherwise, it's just hot air.

10.  Register with online job sites and upload your revamped CV (at HOME)

There are loads of sites like totaljobs.com or www.jobsite.co.uk where you can post your CV and apply for jobs in your area.  You might also want to consider registering with a couple of recruitment agencies to see what jobs might be available.  Recruitment agencies are a great place to get some free career counselling and advice on your CV.

11.  Leave an email / paper trail

This is especially important if you feel you are being treated unfairly (or worse, bullied).  Document everything.  Create an email folder and keep all email correspondence safe. Remember to send these to your personal email and then print them out. Note down important conversations.  Never go to an HR meeting without a note pad and write down what is said.  Add dates and times and file it away at home.

12.  Learn your employment rights

Your employer has a duty of care towards you.  It's not just a one way thing where you do whatever they say and get paid once a month.  Your local Citizens' Advice Bureau will be able to advise you. (www.citizensadvice.org.uk), and if things are really bad, you may want to consider finding an employment lawyer.  Some law firms will let you have free initial legal advice which means they'll at the least be able to tell you where you stand and if you have a case.

13.  Impress the hell out of clients

If you go out to meetings, make sure they remember you by being punctual, prepared and polished. Always remember clients may be potential future employers.  And you wouldn't be daft enough to run your current employer down to them, would you?  You never know who is friends with whom. That client who seems sniffy with your boss?  They drink together in the pub on Fridays.

14.  Take a break

Working in a job you hate is really miserable.  We've all been there.  But you won't change anything by ignoring how you feel and just solidiering on.  Make sure you are taking any breaks you are entitled to and keep a track of your holiday entitlements and how much you've used.  Put in a request for holiday in good time and plan something relaxing. The flip-side of this is not to take the mickey by adding an extra ten minutes here or there.  It will be noticed and endless 'duvet days' due to a strange virus is not going to make you seem like an employee your boss will want to keep.

If you adopt some of these ideas, trust me, you will feel a bit better.   And when you feel better, you'll make better decisions and your work performance will improve.  You never know, on the happy day you hand your notice in, management may be begging you to stay!

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How To Plan Your First Family Holiday

Are you thinking of booking your first family holiday? If you have kids, getting away for a well-earned break can seem a little daunting – there’s so much to organise, and you might be a bit nervous of how your little ones will cope with travelling.

Here’s a handy guide on how to plan a family holiday that everyone will enjoy.

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Consider the climate

Going on holiday to a really hot resort is not necessarily a great idea when you have small children. If the kids are used to a cool climate, high temperatures will be a huge shock to their systems. They’ll be more likely to suffer from heat stroke, sunburn and dehydration – all headaches that you can do without!

Before you book, do your research on the average temperatures for the month you’ll be going away – you can still enjoy the sun but everyone will be much happier and more comfortable!

Be prepared for medical issues

All being well, no one in the family will get sick while you’re away – but it can happen. Make sure you pack a first aid kit containing useful items like plasters, painkillers for both you and the children, cooling lotion that you can use to treat sunburn, and any medications that might be needed while you’re away.

You should also make sure that you have adequate travel insurance – if you don’t, and you need to visit a doctor or hospital while you’re on holiday, it could turn out to be a very expensive and stressful process.

Do your research to find the travel that gives you the best cover for your budget, and you’ll have one less thing to worry about when you head off.

Pack smart

When you’re travelling with kids, especially if they are very young or even babies – it can be tempting to pack everything but the kitchen sink in an effort to have everything covered. However, unless you are heading to the depths of the jungle, it is likely that you’ll be able to pick up a lot of those essential items while you’re away.

Things like nappies, baby wipes, formula and so on are easy to find in most European countries – so you can leave some space in your luggage for that duty free you’ve had your eye on!

Budget for emergencies

It’s challenging enough to get the money together for your family holiday as it is, so it can be tempting to forget about having spare cash aside from your spending money.

Having a small pot of money ready for any emergencies will provide you with peace of mind so that you can get on with making the most of your break – so it’s well worth making sure you’ve got this sorted.

Find out about the water

In most European countries, the water is safe to drink. However, if you plan to go somewhere a little different or farther afield, it’s worth finding out about whether it’s ok to drink the tap water.

If you’re in any doubt, you can pack some water purification tablets or a small travel kettle to boil water to make sure it’s safe to drink.

This is especially important if you will be using the water to make baby formula, and for making sure that every member of the family stays hydrated in the sun.

Think carefully about the length of your break

The duration of your holiday will obviously affect how much it’s going to cost, but that’s not the only factor.

Going away for three weeks with small children might be too much, especially if you don’t have much help while you’re away.

You can book holidays from one week and more that meet all the needs of you and your family at www.travelsphere.co.uk/, so take your time to find out about what suits best.

Do you need childcare?

One of the benefits of many family orientated package holidays is that the option of a kids’ club is often included.

These clubs can allow parents to relax while the kids enjoy making new friends and trying out a whole host of fun activities, and they can be a godsend when you really need a break!

Some resorts and hotels will also include a babysitting service, so it’s worth looking into that if you’d like a romantic night out.

Get some ideas here on planning a budget family holiday. Do your research, plan carefully and be prepared for emergencies – and your first family holiday will be fun, relaxing and enjoyable for everyone, with memories that will last a lifetime!

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Are You Thinking of Getting a Family Dog?

Having a pet in the home while your children are growing up can be so rewarding for everyone. A dog can bring fun times, an extra special sense of togetherness for the family and of course, plenty of love.

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For your children, a dog can be the highlight of any day from playing games together in the garden to cuddling up in front of the TV. Our canine buddies can help create a true sense of union, a closeness with every family member and a feeling that they have forever been a ‘part of the family’.

However, watch out for what’s to come… Money experts Voucherbox revealed the average cost of owning a pet during a recent survey.

Amongst the studies, they discovered that dog owners make an average lifetime investment of £15,382 for their furry friend, while cat owners pay a lesser average of £10,395!

While these statistics will undoubtedly shock most pet owners, surely the unconditional love they get offset the cost?

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Our four-legged friends are one of the most expensive pets to own, so what are the other pros and cons of owning a dog?

The Advantages

• Friends forever – dogs are always pleased to see us and love our attention. They are like shadows, following us everywhere and around the house. You will never be alone!

• Fitness – dogs require daily exercise which also gets us out in the fresh air! Whether it’s rainy cold walks in the winter or lovely summer runs, exercise is good for the dog and great for us too.

• Protection – dogs are steadfast, devoted companions, and they will always keep their owners from harm.

• Children – dogs are generally great with children and will build a strong and loving bond. If you’re children are young, it would be sensible to choose a dog that is renowned for being patient. Bear in mind that usually the behaviour of the dog is down to the training by the owner.

The Disadvantages 

• Dependent – dogs are reliant on humans and should not be left on their own all day, so if you work full-time outside of the home, a dog would not be an ideal family pet.

• Daily walks – a dog needs to be walked at least once a day, so if you can’t make the time to go out for at least 30 minutes every day, then consider another pet.

• Kennels & home boarding – be mindful that if you go away on holiday or for a weekend, you will need to pay on average £20 per day for dog-sitting services.

• Chewing – bear in mind that puppies and young dogs may chew household objects. This is usually only when they are teething but if you’re very house proud, then reconsider.

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Having a dog in the home can be so rewarding. Imagine having someone who is always happy to see you! Depending on the age of your children, they can also be given responsibilities like walking or feeding the dog.

It can be wonderful to get a puppy as they will grow up with your children, but getting a rescue dog (that is trustworthy with children) can also be very fulfilling.

So if you’re thinking about adopting a lifelong companion, why not head to the nearest rescue centre this weekend?

There are plenty of dogs who would give you unconditional love, that need homes and a family to love them back.

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Treat Yourself! Top Gifts From You, To You

In today's modern culture, it is often implied that doing things for ourselves is deemed as 'selfish'. We are told from an early age that putting other people first is something that should be second nature to all of us.

While this is true for the most part, it should never be done at the expense of ourselves! It is important to look after other people and show friends and family that you care, of course - but it is also important that you look after number one.

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Self-love and self-care have come back into the public eye recently as many more people become aware of their own mental health, and the importance of taking care of it.

Sometimes, it can really pay off just to treat yourself to something - a reminder to yourself that you deserve it! Here are some of the top ways you can treat yourself, no matter what your budget is.

A spa day 

If you have found yourself more stressed out than usual, a spa day might be just the kind of thing you need. Stress can affect us all, whether it derives from work, family issues or a combination of the two.

You may feel as though most people go to spas with another person, or that you should only attend when you have been given a voucher as a gift, or something similar. But in reality, there's no rule that says you cannot just attend a spa simply because you want to.

Most spas offer a wide selection of treatments and activities for you to choose from, so speak to an adviser about what kind of thing you are after. Some people find beauty treatments at spas a great way to treat themselves, while others prefer massages or even low-intensity exercises such as yoga.

Jewellery 

Jewellery is another one of those things that has some kind of taboo around it, in terms of buying it for ourselves. Granted, we nearly always receive jewellery as a gift, but the problem with relying on that is that you can never determine what exactly you are going to end up with!

If you have seen a piece of jewellery that you completely covet, such as a handmade pearl necklace, go ahead and buy it for yourself! A quality piece of jewellery can easily make us feel much more luxurious in our everyday lives, so it's a great way to spend your hard-earned cash.

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A night off 

Sometimes, time can be the one thing we find we don't have enough of. Parenting, working and socializing can all take up the majority of our time, and any spare moment we do get we usually want to spend sleeping! It might not seem like much, but treat yourself to a night off from all your responsibilities.

Ask your partner or a family member to do you a favor and take care of the kids for the night, then settle down with a bubble bath, a good book and a glass of wine. It's the little things that can make us feel more human again, so don't neglect your self-care!

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Top Tips For Booking Your First Cruise

I have a new obsession. Cruise documentaries and there seem to be quite a few of those on at the moment, not least Jane McDonald's Cruising which started last week on Channel 5.

There is something magnificent about those enormous, gleaming white ships with their promise of non-stop entertainment - and food.

The Thomson Dream

If, like me, you've never booked a cruise before, here are some of the things you need to consider and some things you really don't need to worry about.

There are so many types of cruise, from sea to river cruises through to combination packages where you can combine a stay with a cruise.

Your Itinerary

What do you want to do on your cruise?  Lots of sightseeing at the beautiful port cities or mainly lazing on deck, enjoying one of the many onboard activities or watching a movie or show?

Cruises can be anything from 2 nights up to a year depending on your budget but a 7 night cruise is probably a good starting point.

Turner Beach Antigua

You can wake up somewhere new each day but bear in mind that on a port heavy cruise, you'll spend most of your time on land.

Some longer distance cruises though will entail several days at sea.

Think about how you will reach your ship.  Will you be happy to use an airline to reach your departure port, or would you prefer to start your cruise in the UK, with the benefits of no luggage limit and no risk of bags going missing on a flight? You can sail from Dover or Southampton, although other ports such as Belfast, Edinburgh, Newcastle and Liverpool may be used.

If you chose a larger ship, you'll find lots of facilities and activities such as toddler clubs, gyms, spas, casinos, bingo and West-End style shows.

On the larger ships you can dine at any of the main restaurants at different times and you won't need to dress for dinner (although I'd quite like that!).

A smaller ship may offer a more low key atmosphere and may be able to reach ports that the larger ships can't.  These may be more peaceful and you won't have the long queues to disembark that are typical on the larger ships.

And don't forget,  if you book your own excursions and are late back to the ship, it doesn't have to wait for you and you may find your ship has sailed!

Brandon's Beach, Bridgetown, Barbados - Image Credit Barry Haynes

Food

It's said that, on average, you can return home up to a stone heavier due to all the fabulous food on offer.

On board you'll find cruise ships offer a variety of dining options. Typically, the bigger ships will have more options, but even the smallest ships tend to have more than one restaurant.

Usually cruise ships have a main dining room which will be a large seated venue where you can order from a menu of American and Continental foods. A dress code may sometimes be enforced at dinner and you will probably have to share a table with other passengers.

The Main Restaurant on the Thomson Dream

There may be a buffet restaurant near the pool, where the dress code is more casual and you can help yourself to pre-prepared food.

Many ships also have specialty restaurants which are smaller and more intimate if you're just after a quiet table for two.  You'll find steakhouses, French bistros, Italian trattoria or Japanese sushi restaurants.

And of course there will be outdoor grills and BBQ spots, pizzerias, hot dog stands or bakeries.

Some ships have exclusive dining venues, only accessible to passengers in suites or spa cabins.

Accommodation

There are several types of accommodation and these vary depending on your requirements and your budget.

Interior cabins are perfectly comfortable but have no windows.

Oceanview cabins have a porthole window.

Balcony cabins are more spacious with outdoor seating areas

Suites - these can range from mini-suites to larger suites with multiple living spaces, almost always with a balcony.

Suites are the best choice if you are travelling with your family.

Suite on the Thomson Celebration

Then there's the location of your cabin on the ship.

Cabins in the front of the ship (forward) and back of the ship (aft) are often less expensive as they feel the motion of the ocean the most.

Mid-ship cabins are the most stable and ideal for those prone to seasickness.

And talking of which, what about seasickness?

Even if you are prone to seasickness (my number one excuse for not booking a cruise to date), there are plenty of river cruises.  In any case, modern ships are built with stabilizers to minimize rocking.

You should also think about the time of year you plan to travel. The Mediterranean is a lot rougher in autumn and winter. Alaska's Inside Passage is quite calm, though the open sea up north gets rougher in September; and the Caribbean can get choppy during hurricane season (June 1 through November 30, officially).

Image credit: Pixabay - Lisbon

Budget

There are many kinds of cruise, from World cruises to themed cruises for art, writing, personal development - you name it there's a cruise for it.  Traditionally, of course, cruising has the reputation of being an expensive way to travel in luxury.

Today though there are so many package deals on offer you are sure to find something to suit.

Many cruisers opt for an all inclusive cruise which includes accommodation, full board dining, flights, transfers and tips with an inside cabin. although the cabin type can be changed at the time of booking and a surcharge payable to upgrade.

You'll still need to budget for things like spa treatments, drinks, bingo, fitness classes, internet use and, of course, your excursions, souvenirs and refreshments on land.

Don't forget you will need travel insurance and it may be worth considering specialist cruise cover policies, especially if you cruising for longer than 2 months.

Have you been on a cruise?  What would be your top tips?

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