Summer Time & The Walking Shoes Are, Um, Flat

OK. Confession time.  I have spent all winter in these.  My feet have barely seen daylight since last August and it is definitely time to spruce them up in anticipation of much posing in swanky Cardiff bars and intimate dinners for two at some of our restaurant hot spots.

I've walked miles in these - as you can probably tell.

What is more likely, of course, is that I will be visiting our usual haunt of Pizza Express, followed by a spin on the carousel and a bit of a sit down on the comfy seats in the Millennium Centre whilst Ieuan runs amok in the children's area (Millipwts) and Caitlin coerces me into the gift shop.

Oh, Yes!  I'm Ready

It's a source of constant disappointment to the Husband that I don't saunter everywhere in high heels since I unwisely told him I wore them all the time in my days as a wage slave in Legal Services. I was going to say "when I worked" but I don't feel I've stopped working since I gave birth. On one occasion I was late for an interview in Bristol and actually ran from Bristol Temple Meads Station to the city centre wearing stilettos.  This is clearly, in the Husband's mind, the sign of a "real woman".

Then there's the matter of the school run. There are mums in our playground bravely wearing heels but they are few and far between.  Other mums wear their running trainers, some wear flipflops and still others are welded into their comfy boots.  These days, I can't bear to compromise between style and comfort - and I need a pair of summer shoes I can actually run after Ieuan in.

Ieuan currently runs everywhere, barely pausing for breath and so the Husband has no choice but to sprint after him, with Caitlin and I bringing up the rear. Caitlin, though, is feeling left out.  "Mum", she said to me last week in an accusing tone, "you don't run, do you?". Then, more alarmingly, "I know, why don't the two of us go out for a run one morning".  I'm currently avoiding this by claiming I can't run "because my glasses may fall off" but I don't think I'm going to get away with it much longer.

We must be a very odd sight in the mornings resembling some sort of family obstacle race with much lolloping, ambling and flat out running.  Needless to say, all the other parents and their kids tend to walk sedately together, holding hands and making barely a sound.  Ieuan stands at the traffic lights bellowing "oh come ON lights, the girls are catching up".  

So, I think a good pedicure is in order and then some shopping for sandals.  I'm tempted by the lightweight comfort offered by Skechers Go Walk range.  Not least because I can tell Caitlin they're only designed for walking and I'm sure she'd approve of the hot pink ones.  And if the Husband starts nagging, I'll tell him he can buy his own heels.  Grayson Perry never seems to have any problem, does he?




Do you live in your 'old favourite' shoes or do you like to treat your feet with different pairs?

This is a collaborative post.

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Silent Sunday / My Sunday Photo - 17/05/2015

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Glossybox - May Edition - Summer's Calling

This is box four of a six month subscription to Glossybox. For those of you not aware of the concept, Glossybox is a monthly beauty subscription box containing 5 hand picked beauty samples wrapped in a signature pink box. Some of these samples may actually be full size products.

This month Glossybox is all about getting ready for summer - beautifully. It contains "all the essentials you need to prep for the balmy days ahead".








I was ready for a change of products and was pleased to find Glossybox had mixed it up a bit this month. I'm not sure I could have coped with yet another lip balm. Unlike last month's box, which looked a bit spartan, this one looks good value as soon as you take the lid off. Funnily though, the actual value of this month's box is hard to gauge. It contains two full sized products worth £22.88 together and three sample products, one of which is £3.99 and the value of the other two aren't listed. The cost of each box is £10 plus packaging (£3.25), so I have still received more than I paid for.

The box contained:-






The star product in this month's box is the MeMeMe Enchanted Eyes Dual Ended Eye Wand which has two blue tones. The shadows are beautifully soft and do not drag on the skin - always a pet hate of mine. The full size product costs £6.95 but MeMeMe are offering 25% off all orders made on their website by the end of May using the special Glossy code.




The second full size product in this month's box is the Aloe Vera Ultra Moisturising Gel by Etre Belle. This product is designed as an instant rescue product, being a cooling gel which is claimed to deliver moisture "deep below the surface" and help post sun skin. I am always suspicious about claims that a product can penetrate the dermis (deeper layers of the skin) but this gel does offer a cooling effect (albeit fleeting) and absorbs quickly. I did find it rather sticky but you would need this to help the product to last long enough to soothe sun sore skin. The Etre Belle Aloe Vera Ultra Moisturising Gel costs £15.93 and is available from their website at www.etre-belle.co.



The first sample product is Zerreau's Towel Off Shampoo Foam in a 70ml size which retails at £3.99. This is the next generation of dry shampoo, say Glossybox. It has a towel off foam formula which allows you to wash your hair without water. You apply, massage it in and towel it off. This product is infused with a delicate apple scent so your hair smells fresh. The full size product (180ml) retails at £7.95.



The second sample and fourth product in the box is coincidentally from a range I had already heard about. SASS is a new range which claims to maintain your 'intimate harmony and help to prevent unwanted smells, has products which are dermatologically tested and gynaecologist approved and are not tested on animals. The range includes cleansers, freshness mists and gels and an anti-dryness product.

The one in the box is SASS Intimate Perfect Skin Concentrate which is meant to soothe the skin and reduce hair growth post-shave. It has exfoliating ingredients including salicylic acid and fruit enzymes which, SASS say, "delicately exfoliate to ensure ingrown hairs are a thing of the past". The product retails at £12 for the full size. There is a sample of 30 ml in the box. Time will tell with this one. I have not tried it but the mention of salicylic acid makes me a bit wary. The SASS range is exclusively available at www.boots.com.



The last of this month's treats is a sample size of Philosophy's renewed hope in a jar refreshing & refining moisturizer. Philosophy is a range I have heard of but never tried, finding their price point a little high, compared to the many lower priced excellent moisturizers out there. This product is said to be a favourite from "celebrities to top dermatologists". It is said to work to "reduce the appearance of lines, discolouration and uneven texture". I can see where it got its name from. Any fans out there? I'd love to hear if it's worked for you. The full size product retails at £35.50 and is available from boots.com. If you want to try this product, you can get £7.50 off when you buy either the moisturizer or eye cream using the Glossy code before 23 June.

Am I happy? Again, yes. I must admit I do enjoy the arrival of my Glossybox each month. It's like receiving an extra birthday present. Full marks to Glossybox so far.

Do you subscribe to a monthly beauty box? Which one is your favourite and are there others I should check out?

Disclosure: This is a completely independent review; The Glossybox subscription is my own purchase.

Glossybox can be contacted at www.glossybox.co.uk, on Twitter at @glossyboxuk and on Facebook as www.facebook.com/GlossyBox.co.uk

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Revision Tips To Show Those GCSE's Who's Boss

It's the time of year again when revision stress wreaks havoc in family homes and our youngsters (and sometimes not so youngsters) feel the nightmare of the approaching exam season.

You will find reams written on the subject of revision and mine include some of the common sense basics.  

But I've also included what worked for me.  I studied the old 'O' and 'A' Levels, got a Degree in English Literature and later spent a couple of years studying Administration for Personal Assistants (sadly no James Bond included) and Chartered Institute of Marketing qualifications, so I have done plenty of studying and completely understand that lurch of the stomach when you contemplate the moment when you are asked to turn your paper over. 

I have also tutored in English to GCSE standard and understand how confidence sapping and stressful the revision process is if you don't grab it by the scruff of the neck and show it who's boss.   I have also seen the consequences of leaving your revision until the last minute - clue, not great grades.

So let's, um, revise some of the things you need to do: 

1.  Plan your revision timetable.

As well as studying, allocate time within it for eating, sleeping and some leisure activities (yes, browsing Facebook, Twitter and Snapchat is not classed as revision!).  Filling it with wall to wall studying is unrealistic and will make you just want to bin  / delete the whole thing.

2.  Start weeks before.  Not days.

As soon as you have the dates for the exams, arguably even sooner, you should be starting your revision.  Re-read your course notes.  Make sure you have actually read the set texts and re-read them.  I remember in University being told by one (possibly over zealous) English lecturer that you don't really 'know' a novel until you have read it at least FIVE times.  Clearly, this may not apply to non-fiction texts but I don't think it's that bad a maxim to apply!

3. Break your revision sessions into chunks of approximately 45 minutes with a 15 minute break per hour. This is because your brain and your memory need a rest to absorb your learning.

4. And do something in the break - get up and move around.  Make a coffee (better, have some water) and a protein based snack.  

5. Build in a reward - whether it's an episode of your favourite soap or current box set passion but give yourself a clear objective.  "I will watch Game of Thrones when I have re-read the first three chapters of my textbook".  Sitting in your room painting your nails whilst staring vacantly at your notes does not count.

6. Write it down. I found it invaluable to test myself by writing my answers and thoughts down on paper (or typing them up on a PC).  There's something about seeing your notes in writing that helps cement them in your brain.

7.  Get a blackboard and play teacher. No, I haven't lost it, honest.  It's amazingly effective if you pretend to be the teacher in front of a class (or your favourite celebrities) and teach them your study topic.  You may want to pretend you're a world class lecturer at an international conference.

Go on, see if you can talk clearly about your topic for 15 minutes and illustrate your points with quotes / facts / figures on the blackboard.  From MEMORY.  

You could even get someone to record your lectures on camcorder

8.  Make a Mind Map. All in the spirit of making it a bit more fun,  the theory goes that using visual cues will help you remember more effectively.  A mind map is a simple diagram you make with lots of branches demonstrating related ideas.  Why not start each session by drawing a mind map and you may find you include ideas you had forgotten or that may be genius inclusions even your teacher or lecturer has not considered.

9.  Record it. I once learned the whole of Shakespeare's Macbeth almost word for word.  I did this by recording the whole play on an old fashioned tape recorder (tricky doing all the parts, I can tell you) and then I used to play it to myself whilst going to sleep.

Never underestimate the power of the subconscious. You'll find information coming to you effortlessly rather than having to struggle to recall it.

You could do something similar by recording the key facts you need to know and then playing them back through the day or just before you sleep.  Possibly not the most exciting track on your iPod but just consider the fabulous career getting your qualifications may lead you to.

10. Revise on the move. Having your notes recorded means you can listen to them anywhere - on your morning commute, whilst waiting to see the dentist etc.

11. Make it mini. If you prefer something written down, challenge yourself to note down key facts on postcards and whip them out for a quick run through during the day.

12. Flashcards are king. Or, create full A4 size flashcards with important points on and get your relatives to test you on them (hey, why should you be the only one to suffer)?

13. Buy / lend past exam papers.

If you can afford copies of past papers, please contact your local exam board and get them - even if it's just for the past 2 years.  You'll get a sense of what the questions are like and, if you know what came up last year, you may be able to guess what will come up this year.  NOTE:  you still need to revise everything but just give a bit more emphasis to the themes which may appear.

14.  Have a mock (we won't mock). Sit those papers.  Recreate the exam scenario.  Desk, watch, water, fruit pastilles - the whole shebang.  Do the paper to time.  Get the cat to invigilate.

15.  You are the evil examiner. Now that you have sat the paper - be absolutely ruthless.  Mark yourself as harshly as possible.  Penalise yourself for spelling mistakes and grammatical howlers.  Be honest.  Would you have passed?  If you're not sure, take the paper in and ask your teacher or lecturer.

16.  Prepare the night before. Not by cramming, not by panicking but by having a decent meal and an early night.  Reread your flashcards, listen to one of your home-made recordings, try to relax.

Remember, there is no such thing as failure.  If you don't pass this time then you have learned what not to do next time.  

And if you have tried your best with your revision and you can honestly say you did the best you could, pat yourself on the back and tell yourself this is just one step towards success.  And even Rome wasn't built in a day.

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50 Things That Make Me Happy

I've been tagged by Leanne at A Slice of My Life Wales to list 50 things that make me happy and, since she might be a bit cross if I just put 49 Maltesers and a large glass of wine, here's my list.  I bet quite a few of your little pleasures are on there too.....

1.  The Husband

2.  The Kids

3.  The rest of the strange tribe who comprise my family and friends

4.  Christmas

5.  Red wine (anti-ageing, antioxidants, who needs an excuse?)

6.  Cats

7.  Tarot Cards (I used to 'dabble' when I was younger)

A grainy photo of my last cat, Samson, now in cat heaven

8.  The Mind, Body & Spirit Section in Waterstones (if you can't find me, this is where I'll be, although I'm not one of those people who will actually sit down, open the book and start reading.  I don't want my books less than pristine thank you!)

9.  The Underground (still find it exciting, all those tunnels, escalators and the potential danger of all that electricity)

10. Paris - many fond memories of school trips and of a short stint as an au pair when I was 19.

11. Pub grub - can't beat a pie. Or a pie & chips.

12.  Wuthering Heights - any of the Bronte Sisters' novels in fact.  All that sexual repression and bad weather.  That's the definition of being British right there.

13.  Louis Vuitton - the Husband bought me an Alma bag for my 50th birthday and I am still so awed by it, I haven't got round to using it yet.  I am still in the 'staring at it with adoration' phase.

Baby Ieuan in his Christmas Hat

14. Red Lipstick - even though the wrong red makes me look like Vampyra and gives me a mouth like a cat's bottom. When I find the right red, I'll let you know.

15. Emeralds - don't own any just love the green beauty of those stones.

16. Playing the piano after too much wine - this is the time when I actually remember those pieces I knew by heart as a child.  Rousing rendition of "Onward Christian Soldiers" at 1 am anyone?

17. Jools Holland - genius musician and pianist.

18. Jamie Cullum - ditto

19. Pot Noodles - how can you ever tire of crunchy noodles and those sachets you can never open?

20. Rice Pudding.  Ambrosia.  Food of the Gods.  Enough said.

21. Sleep - once you become a parent, sleep becomes the Holy Grail of pleasure seeking.  Arguably, that also applies to sex.

22. Candy Crush & Pyramid Solitaire - yes, yes, it's sad but the growth of the gaming market is being driven by middle aged women apparently so I am supporting the economy...

23. Woman & Home Magazine - full of women older than me achieving stuff.  I read it and marvel.

24.  Sherlock (with Benedict Cumberbatch)

25.  James Bond (Daniel Craig)

26.  Coffee

27.  Danish Pastries & Hot Cross Buns

28.  My Skoda Roomster - a car that lets you bend down to put a child in a car seat without giving you concussion when you straighten up to shut the door.

29. Fitflops - never off my feet for approximately 5 years now

30. Marilyn Monroe Films

31. Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein 

32. Woody Allen's "Love & Death"

33. Rain

Caitlin's Not Too Sure About Fresh Flowers

34. Cushions - the Husband cannot understand why I love cushions and my prize ones are unceremoniously lobbed on to the floor.  I am plotting a suitable revenge.  Hiding all the toilet rolls for example.

35. Anything covered in faux fur. This may be because I miss having a cat.  

36. Blackadder

37  Monty Python

38. The Daily Mail

39.  Peanut Butter

40.  Emmerdale

41.  Diaries - I have been known to start one, get bored and buy another one when I'm in my "let's all change our lives and adopt another health regime" mood.

42. John Lewis

43. Ghost Trains

44. Pizza

45. Lava Lamps

Cheers!

46.  London Taxis

47.  Fresh flowers

48.  Beautiful gardens 

49.  Pinterest (you could lose days browsing on there)

50.  Halloween

Well, that's cheered me up.  Hope I've got you thinking of the things that make you happy now!

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Is it time to drop the "Worst Dressed On The Red Carpet" Bitch-Fest?

Ho-hum  It's the night after the BAFTAs and the Daily Mail's lead article is entitled "What Were They Thinking?  ....The Worst Dressed Stars on the Red Carpet at the TV BAFTA Awards".

dailymail.co.uk

Some of this year's unfortunate targets include Catherine Tate ("who wore an autumnal coloured dress with too much ruching that swamped her small frame and clashed with her nude courts), Made in Chelsea's Rosie Fortescue (who "opted for an unflattering metallic dress with sheer panels by Julien Macdonald), and Hollyoaks actress Jennifer Metcalfe (who wore a dress described as "a bizarre one-shouldered black dress... which fell flat").

dailymail.co.uk

Michelle Keegan was described as wearing "a loose dress by House of Fraser in an unusual pastel shade of pastel green that was very wrinkled, causing many to question the former Coronation Street star's red carpet choice". Bizarrely, a link to purchase that very same dress can be found directly below this helpful criticism.

Now, we can all have a few minutes of fun and shore up our frail egos by gloating at the usually perfect looking less so. 

Michelle Keegan would probably look good in a bin liner.  It doesn't matter how terrible the outfit choices are, these are still beautiful women out to enjoy themselves.  

Imagine if, when you go out on a Saturday night, your choice of outfit was pilloried in the press the next day? You'd feel crushed, wouldn't you?

Yes you can argue that as a celebrity you put yourself out there and have to take the knocks. Well fine, but the knocks should be related to what you actually do, shouldn't they?

The BAFTAs celebrate and reward the best formances on TV during the past year. And where do we find the actual list of winners?  They appear in a rather bald listing right at the bottom of the article after reams of red carpet dress photos.

I loved the #WeAreThey Twitter response in support of Plus Size women, (even though I would always champion being a healthy weight as being best for us).  

Here were loads of women taking a stand and saying "This is us.  This is what we look like.  We're happy with it.  Move on".  

Far removed, I think, from the misogynistic drubbing female celebs have to put up with every time they put on a less than perfect frock.

Is anyone talking about the sartorial choices of  Jon Snow (Fellowship BAFTA), Jason Watkins (Leading Actor BAFTA) and Ant and Dec (Entertainment Performance BAFTA)?

Reading articles like this may make me feel better about myself for about a minute but this is a temporary buzz, like eating too many chocolates.  Don't you find you feel a bit uncomfortable afterwards?

The problem is we women are so used to being judged on our appearance rather than our skills and we are often each others' harshest critics.  

Until we realise that we need to support each other and that criticising one of us is in many ways like criticising all of us, it's going to be damn hard to stop clicking on those insidiously unpleasant article links.

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Silent Sunday / My Sunday Photo - 10/05/2015

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Self Defence - A Short Film About Using Martial Arts On The Streets

As a parent, one of the prevalent terrors I face is of someone picking on and hurting my children. Whilst we can, of course, teach them good behaviour, empathy and communication skills, there are times when people can't be reasoned with and when violence may spark up unexpectedly.  

There are numerous benefits in teaching children martial arts.  Some of these include:

• increased activity - helping them to get fit
• conflict resolution - teaching them to respond but not react
• increased focus and stillness
• increased self confidence and self respect

Students of the Martial Arts learn discipline, listening and team work skills - all vital attributes for success later in life. We are certainly thinking of sending our kids to Tae Kwon Do to learn self defence.

My niece, Emily Jasper, is a Second Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do and is also a filmmaker. She is currently in her second year studying Media (film) Production at Staffordshire University.

She aspires to one day work within cinematography, working on television dramas and feature films. At the moment she is learning her craft by creating short films, both written and directed by her and others, where she either shoots or camera assists in.

This is Emily's film "Street Defence" which is a short documentary about the vital importance of self defence, and the reality of using Martial Arts out on the streets.

The film features interviews with top Martial Arts experts including Zara Phythian, Master Clive Harrison, Master Tony Sewell and Rachael Harrison.





Please take a moment to watch the film by clicking on the video above.

Otherwise, the links you need are:-

Youtube:  http://youtu.be/jLJLoBb9Fmc

Vimeo:   https://vimeo.com/126168509 

Emily also has a Facebook page which is at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Street-Defence-Using-Martial-Arts-In-Real-Life/371067329744168.

Watching it, there is only one conclusion - that learning a Martial Art is an invaluable life skill for all of us, no matter what age.  Even if you don't need to use these skills to protect yourself, having the ability to protect you and yours is a terrific confidence boost.

There is enough violence in our society as it is.  Learning to handle conflict in a non-violent way can only benefit all of us.

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A Bit About The Hobbis Family

It strikes me that I haven't told you very much about US.  So since today's Blogging Every Day In May challenge is to share "a day in the life",  I thought I'd redress the balance a bit.

There are four of us.  Me, 51 at the end of this month, previously Marketing Director for a local law firm, who gave it all up (oh the folly!) to have children and raise them whilst embracing the sometimes poisoned chalice known as "being a stay at home mum".

Our Wedding Day in 2011

My husband, Mathew (three years younger and therefore a toy boy much to his amusement) works for a telecommunications company and the lucky so and so gets to travel around the world whilst I mutter under my breath about the injustice of being constrained to trips to Tesco and Nisa.

I am English.  I was born in Rochford Hospital, Essex.  The fact that I am technically an Essex girl tends to cause great mirth.  My family moved to Dinas Powys, a few miles outside Cardiff when I was 5 and aside from a brief stint in Swansea during my university days, I have lived here ever since.

My younger sister, Sarah, lives in Stoke-on-Trent and has three children, Emily, Lloyd and Georgia who are in their teens and twenties.  Emily is studying film production and is a black belt in Tae Kwondo, as is her brother Lloyd.  Georgia is a talented singer. My sister works as a bereavement counsellor for a children's hospice in Worcester.  She is also a talented pianist and has an obsession with Skodas which is slightly worrying.

Cardiff is now a fabulous city to live in and I have seen so much development during the years that it's hard to remember how the city used to be.  I do remember trams in Queen Street and a big sprawling pub down the docks called the Big Windsor which is now an Indian Restaurant.  The Big Windsor used to be a great live music venue, hosting bands like Madassa and The Spasm Band.

Cardiff Bay at Night

My parents were born in Plymouth and that city is also very special to me and my sister, Sarah as it is where we had most of our childhood holidays.  Many happy days were spent on The Hoe eating ice cream and watching the sun glint off the water in Plymouth Sound.

Plymouth Hoe

I worked for many years in the field of Legal Services Marketing in Cardiff and met Mathew in 2005. Caitlin arrived in 2007, Ieuan followed in 2009 and we married in St. David's Hotel in Cardiff Bay in 2011.

Caitlin, is an ever moving combination of singing, dancing, pink and glitter. She will be 8 in November and loves ballet, reading, drawing and, when the mood takes her, playing the piano (taught by my dad).  She loves a bit of drama and is able to turn on the tears at will.  I think she will make a great actress.

Caitlin, a couple of years ago - she's still occasionally angelic

Ieuan, almost 6, is an fast moving ball of energy who runs everywhere and lives in a world filled with superheroes.  He is obsessed with Spiderman to the point of demanding holidays in New York so he can climb the buildings. (We've got as far as Devon).  He's very much a typical boy who loves taking things apart and, if there's a chance of damaging himself whilst playing, he will take it.  Usually within the first 5 minutes of arriving at a playcentre, he'll have managed to fall off a swing or zipwire.


He has also spent the first few of his formative years practising his audition for "Freaky Eaters", having what is probably a completely normal aversion to eating anything that could be good for him.

Mat and the kids are Welsh and Mat is training them to love rugby as it is such an important part of Welsh life.  I manage to muster up some enthusiasm but still don't really understand the game.  Mat spends the entire time shouting such things as "knock on" which I don't quite get.  

Whilst working in marketing though I do remember organising rugby hospitality for the local great and good which involved a slap up meal, far too much alcohol, tickets to the game and then hot dogs and more beer when they returned to our office.  On one occasion one of the law firm partners got so drunk, she sat down in a plant display and had to be pulled free by her colleagues. In those days, you expected to turn up to the stadium early so you could enjoy (and join in with ) the singing.

Wales -v- Ireland Rugby World Cup Quarter Final 2011

As a junior marketer I used to organise all sorts of functions, from cricket days with huge marquees, to exhibition stands, from corporate dinners to art gallery viewing and trips to the horse racing.  At the same time I would also be putting together and editing copy for about 6 different newsletters. 

Later, my job involved business planning and marketing strategy and believe me it is often a challenge to explain to lawyers that, yes, the two are related. I was also responsible for PR, advertising and just about every other aspect of making legal services attractive to the commercial marketplace.

Nowadays, I keep my writing hand in, so to speak, by blogging but I do miss the buzz of the workplace and meeting a wide variety of people. It was great to meet some of my fellow bloggers at BlogOnCymru earlier this year and I am really looking forward to going to Britmums Live 2015.

Being a full time mum is challenging but not always intellectually stimulating.  That said, I appreciate I am lucky to be able to have this chance to spend so much time with them.

One of the reasons that I blog is so that I can document these precious memories.  The other is so that I can reach out to other women like me who, in their forties, wonder whether the chance to have a family has passed them by.

I like to think I can offer some hope.

Like what you've read?  Why not join me on the Mother Distracted Facebook page, tweet me on @lindahobbis or follow me on Instagram.

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Home Sweet Home - A Right or A Privilege?

Today's Blog Every Day In May challenge is "Home Sweet Home" but today's Election has got me thinking about the whole concept of 'home'.

Those thousands of migrants risking their lives in boats with babies and young children as they cross treacherous seas from Africa?  They're seeking 'home'.

Those dispossessed individuals sleeping rough under newspaper and in refuse skips?  They're dreaming of home.

Those families crammed into dank, damp, poorly maintained rental accommodation?  They've probably given up on the idea of home.

Those old people left alone and dehydrated in dreadful care homes across the country?  They've lost their homes.

Our kids chances of buying a home of their own?  Remote.

Arguably home is more than bricks and mortar.  It is the word which describes the living, breathing love and protection at the heart of each family unit.  Home is the place where we can, ironically, let down our defenses and let our true selves show.

We know, logically, that those who live in stately mansions may not be as happy as we are in our starter homes or tiny cramped flats.  But somehow, property has become a channel for happiness.  It has always been a sign of status of course.  "An Englishman's home is his castle" as the expression goes.  Except even the concept of nationality has changed. I couldn't even begin to describe what it means to be English any more. And don't know if I should be able to.

So I'm not going to talk about interior decor, or fluffy cushions.  I'm not going to wax lyrical about herbaceous borders (you've seen pictures of my garden, it's pointless!) nor bake a batch of muffins.

But I am going to say that if you value the concept of home and if you care that people DIED to give you the chance to vote, then get to the polling station and make your views known.

It's the adult thing to do.  It's the mature thing to do and if you are not prepared to put a stake in the ground and say "this is my home and THIS is what I believe in", then you'll only have yourself to blame if your homestead is less secure in future.

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5 Life Lessons To Share With Your Kids

There is such a lot we need to teach our children and we have such a short space of time to do it.

These are just 5 of the life lessons I hope to instill in my kids.

An education is never a waste.

I've never believed that "school days are the best days of your life" because mine, frankly, were endured rather than enjoyed, but I do believe that if you stop learning, you stop growing as a person. 

You may not need to understand glaciation or the digestive system of a rabbit but you are learning how to assimilate information, how to analyse and apply it.

When we get the inevitable "I don't want to go to school" from the kids we gently explain that the subjects they are learning are like building blocks to a successful future. 

That if they learn to read, they can learn anything. That if they want to do a job they love, they need to learn now.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

As a general principle, this one stands the test of time. 

Friendship and money do not mix. 

That is not to say we would ever turn our backs on a friend in need but I think if you lend in those circumstances you are better off viewing the loan as a gift.

The kids are learning about money and the importance of saving at the moment.  

They are also learning about deferred gratification.  

The "I want it now" mentality has probably led an awful lot of people into the path of payday loans and a whole heap of credit card debt.

It's Often Not About You.

Yes you have to stand up for yourself when someone is horrid to you but it helps to remember that happy, well-adjusted people usually don't feel the need to bully, belittle or intimidate.  

If we can all remember that then perhaps we can treat bad behaviour towards us with sympathy and even a bit of compassion rather than letting the sad person indulging in it push our buttons to shore up their frail egos.

With the kids, whilst we tell them firmly that they must not put up with other children being horrible to them, we also tell them that if a special friend has been grumpy or a bit off, it is not necessarily anything to do with them.

Say sorry.

The flip side of this is that when we are in a bad mood it is very easy to take it out on other people.

As a family, we make a point of apologising when we need to, especially to the kids.  

We need to model the behaviour we want our kids to adopt so, if I've been a bit grumpy, I will explain the reasons why to the kids and apologise.

Make the most of every day.

This one is probably the most difficult of the lot. 

There are so many horror stories in Media that sometimes I can't bear to read them.  

Making the most of every day is one of the things I struggle with but sometimes you just have to sit down, breathe and say "this is where we are now, and it's OK".

The kids are always looking ahead to the next weekend, trip out, cinema visit or party and we gently remind them that we can have a good time NOW, today.

Which lessons would you add? 

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Guilty Pleasures. It's Confession Time

I always think you can tell a lot about a person by their guilty pleasures; those daily joys that lead a trail of breadcrumbs back to their heart (and possibly their current mental state).  The thing is, someone else's guilty pleasures are often quite surprising, making you exclaim "I did not KNOW that about you".  

To completely misquote Forest Gump, people are like Kinder Eggs.  You never know what you'll find hidden inside.  

My number one rule about guilty pleasures, though, is never to laugh at another person's.  Why deny someone a route to happiness (assuming it's legal and on the right side of healthy), even though their habit may run counter to whatever you think is 'cool'?  This rule does not, of course, extend to the Husband's love of shouty Viking rock which I view as being bad for everybody's health, even if it is legal.

The great motivational author and speaker, Anthony Robbins, teaches us that we most of the things we do are to avoid pain and to gain pleasure.  Actually, in terms of bad habits if you find what the pleasure (hidden or not so hidden) in carrying out that habit is, then you'll be in a much stronger position to deal with it.  But I digress.

Having now made it plain I do not expect you to laugh uproariously at my guilty pleasures, here's a couple for you to wonder at.

Judge Rinder.

Judge Rinder - metro.co.uk

I love Judge Rinder - the UK's answer to Judge Judy. Yes I know the show is camper than a field of yurts but I find the afternoon court session highly entertaining.  Who wouldn't have wanted to shout out in the middle of a board meeting "I'm going to write that IN BIG" or "I can smell a lie like a fart in a lift"? Oh the fun I could have had in meetings.  I find my mind boggling at the relatives who take their own family members to court for a couple of hundred pounds simply to be on the TV.  And then there are those who, to quote Judge Rinder, just vanish "up the cul-de-sac of stupid".  The Husband hates it of course, which adds that extra frisson of rebellion to watching it.

Pot Noodles

Curry Pot Noodle.  It's a Marvel  bmstores.co.uk

My idea of a balanced meal when I was a student in Swansea Uni was a spicy curry Pot Noodle, a small tin of Ambrosia Rice Pudding all washed down with a packet of cheese & onion crisps and a mug of tea.  You can play a sort of game with yourself which I like to call "is the Pot Noodle edible yet".  This involves picking out the noodles before the four minutes are up in the hope that you won't crack your teeth.  

Austin Powers

Some films just make you snort with laughter and the Austin Powers films do that to me.  A handy source of witty riposts for all social occasions e.g. "and I want a solid gold toilet but it's just not in the cards now, is it?".  Useful, no?  Or how about "why take the escalator when I have a perfectly good canoe right here?".

And lastly ( and probably most shamefully), Candy Crush.

They say sugar is addictive and this certainly is.  But I find it soothing and I can rationalise away the many hours I've wasted on it because, er, it's collaborative, isn't it.  You help others by sending them lives.  It, um, improves your pattern recognition.  I'm sure spotting things in rows of 3, 4 and 5 must be useful somewhere in the Universe and, ah, it's low calorie.  Genius.

I'm looking forward to hearing about your guilty pleasures!

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