Sunday, 3 May 2015
Self Care - Do you Remember That Mums?
It's Day 3 of the Blogging Every Day in May challenge and today's theme is "self care". To be honest it may as well be motor cycle maintenance for all the self care that I do.
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| This is supposed to be doing me good. |
I do get the occasional lie-in, ended only by the husband's appearance with a cuppa and a wry comment about me being still alive. I can't complain about that but when I think about the grooming I used to do when I was a single working girl, I wonder where I found the time or energy.
I used to wear make-up every day. Foundation, power, blusher, mascara, lippie, nail varnish - the works. Well, not in the league of the Kardashian Kontour technique but enough to look noticeably different from my just woken up self.
There have been studies which claim that women who wear make-up in the workplace earn more and are taken more seriously. (Here's one). Working in a law firm, as I did for over 12 years makes you well aware of the importance of looking the part and fitting in to the corporate environment. When you're selling a product which can be as expensive as legal services are, looking less than groomed is simply not an option.
I used to wear heels. Now I run about in FitFlop boots in the winter and FitFlop sandals in the summer. If I do put heels on I worry about how far I will be able to walk before my toes are mangled and the soles of my feet are burning.
Underwear is functional (matching? Oh, don't be silly). Earrings are non-existant. Wedding ring and watch is usually about it.
Favourite garments? My blue fluffy dressing gown (which the Husband claims makes me look like a blue polar bear) and my black leggings which I appear unable to get out of. When we have decent weather I will wear one of my selection of maxi dresses but that is generally for a very short period of time indeed.
Part of the problem, I think, is that it is difficult to know what a 50 something woman is supposed to look like. There are several strong role models for 50 + glam (Helen Mirren springs immediately to mind, ditto Sharon Stone, Jane Seymour, even Lorraine) but I feel as if I'm starting from scratch.
This is not who I was and I'm not sure how it's "who I have become".
But it's not as simple as slapping on a face pack and painting your toe nails, is it? The most important aspect of self care is keeping those negative thoughts in check, claiming your rights, making sure you're heard. It's about saying "hey, I'm a mother, I'm a wife but I'm still the woman I always was. And she deserves respect".
Saturday, 2 May 2015
In which there are no camels to be had & Colin Dexter recites poetry.
Someone recently asked me to write about my adventures. I have obviously lived a very modest and quiet life. I am probably what Charlotte Bronte would have been like if she had been allowed out to the pub in Haworth, but, still, the request got me thinking.
I suppose there was the time when I went up the Great Pyramid just outside Cairo. (I had gone to Egypt with a girl pal of mine to celebrate my 24th birthday). I ascended holding the hand of the guide (a little old man) who had placed a lit candle stub on my palm, sticking it there by means of applying hot wax to my hand.
Holding my hand was apparently non-negotiable. He advised me to duck as we entered the dingy and slightly cheesy smelling interior of one of the World's greatest architectural masterpieces. Surprisingly there is not enough room to stand up until you reach one of the pyramid's antechambers and there is very little left to see, but the experience was amazing. You felt the presence of thousands of years of history like a shimmering force field.
On the same occasion, I wanted a camel ride but there were no camels in sight. There were, however, fine Arabian horses which my friend and I agreed to hire. Two twenty something girls alone in Egypt with limited horse-riding experience. What could possibly go wrong?
All was going well until the guide, whose English was limited to the phrase "Tally Ho" slapped the rump of my friend's horse making it bolt across the desert horizon. All you could see was the horse's and my friend's rear as they vanished in to the sunset with my friend shouting "mum-eeeeeeeeeeee". The guide decided he had better rescue her so cantered off after the bolting steed. He did this by shouting "Tally Ho" and dragging my horse with him by holding on to my thigh.
Leaving aside the time I got locked in toilet of a Great Western Train en route to the great metropolis of Swansea, my life has been relatively adventure free so far - I mean in the sense of great sweeping adventures that change your perspective for ever. Times when you meet unforgettable characters, eat unidentifiable food and behave in ways alien to your usual demeanour. Although arguably that could describe a night out in Dinas.
Then there was the time I met the late great writer Laurie Lee in his local pub in Slad. Being entranced by the beautiful "Cider with Rosie", we were slightly star struck to find him having a quiet pint. Lee himself was funny and down to earth, having to dash off only to return a few minutes later because he'd left a chicken, his Sunday lunch in the oven and bringing us copies of his book of poems "My Many Coated Man".
I also met Colin Dexter (the writer of Morse) at the signing of the last Morse novel, The "Remorseful Day". Whilst we were waiting for everyone to troop in, the author recited classic poetry (off the top of his head) to keep us amused. He was so entertaining it was almost a shame when he broke off to start talking about Morse. Some people's intelligence just shines through and Colin Dexter is one of those.
I'm a big fan of literary adventures. That's why I love Agatha Christie's Miss Marple, the old lady sleuth who solves crimes generally by sitting in her arm chair and applying her knowledge of the psychology of the inhabitants of St. Mary Mead to dastardly criminals.
The thing about adventures is that you have to be brave enough to have them. I wish I were braver, but these days I find that the notion of a trip of more than a couple of hundred miles is quite a stressful proposition. That's what having kids does for you. A trip to Devon when they were babies involved more equipment than going on tour with Motorhead. (No I haven't, I'd worry about my Tinnitus).
I really hope though that I 'woman up' enough to have some adventures with my kids and that they are braver than I am and explore the world and its wonders. As long as they remember to phone their mother, of course.
In the meantime, just plump my armchair cushions up for me and put the kettle on, would you?
I suppose there was the time when I went up the Great Pyramid just outside Cairo. (I had gone to Egypt with a girl pal of mine to celebrate my 24th birthday). I ascended holding the hand of the guide (a little old man) who had placed a lit candle stub on my palm, sticking it there by means of applying hot wax to my hand.
 |
| The Great Pyramid at Giza, Egypt |
On the same occasion, I wanted a camel ride but there were no camels in sight. There were, however, fine Arabian horses which my friend and I agreed to hire. Two twenty something girls alone in Egypt with limited horse-riding experience. What could possibly go wrong?
 |
| The camels had all apparently legged it on hearing of our approach. |
Leaving aside the time I got locked in toilet of a Great Western Train en route to the great metropolis of Swansea, my life has been relatively adventure free so far - I mean in the sense of great sweeping adventures that change your perspective for ever. Times when you meet unforgettable characters, eat unidentifiable food and behave in ways alien to your usual demeanour. Although arguably that could describe a night out in Dinas.
Then there was the time I met the late great writer Laurie Lee in his local pub in Slad. Being entranced by the beautiful "Cider with Rosie", we were slightly star struck to find him having a quiet pint. Lee himself was funny and down to earth, having to dash off only to return a few minutes later because he'd left a chicken, his Sunday lunch in the oven and bringing us copies of his book of poems "My Many Coated Man".
 |
| Laurie Lee - source: dailymail.co.uk |
I'm a big fan of literary adventures. That's why I love Agatha Christie's Miss Marple, the old lady sleuth who solves crimes generally by sitting in her arm chair and applying her knowledge of the psychology of the inhabitants of St. Mary Mead to dastardly criminals.
 |
| Julia McKenzie as Agatha Christie's Miss Marple |
I really hope though that I 'woman up' enough to have some adventures with my kids and that they are braver than I am and explore the world and its wonders. As long as they remember to phone their mother, of course.
In the meantime, just plump my armchair cushions up for me and put the kettle on, would you?
Friday, 1 May 2015
Who I Am? A Few Clues.
I'm joining in with the lovely +Rosalilium's Blog Every Day In May (#BEDM) challenge and our first task is to introduce ourselves.
I'm wife to Mat and mum to Caitlin (7) and Ieuan (nearly 6). I left work as Marketing Director at a Cardiff law firm in 2007 to have my kids. Caitlin was born in 2007 when I was 43 and Ieuan followed in 2009. Being an 'older mum' is something I talk about quite a bit on this blog.
I count myself lucky as I had a good career and then a family (probably just in time). I'm well aware that this does not happen for everyone. Staying fit is a bit of an obvious preoccupation so that I can keep up with 2 energetic kids.
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| Me! |
I say keeping fit, I actually mean googling random illness symptoms and then driving the husband mad by asking if he thinks I've got them.
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| Caitlin & Ieuan |
I found becoming a stay at home mum a huge change from being a full time employee and to fill the gap I took up entering competitions (with quite a bit of success) and now I have a new love - blogging.
I have met and talked to so many lovely people. There is definitely a blogging community and I've found lots of bloggers who are very generous with their help, advice and inspiration.
What else can I tell you? Here's a few insights into the dark recesses of my muddled maternal mind.
Favourite season: Autumn.
One of the fabulous things about being a parent is that you get the chance to relive your childhood again. I love Halloween and Bonfire Night. My daughter's birthday is in November so that's obviously another party and then there's the glorious build up to Christmas and New Year. Actually I suspect I enjoy it all more than the kids. It's a time of year when your senses go into overdrive - the lights, the smells, the sounds of caroling, food and decorations. One of my favourite places to be at this time of year is the beauty hall in Debenhams. Call me shallow but surrounded by the floodlit best that the beauty industry can offer in glorious wrapping paper, I have palpitations calmed only by a jumbo cappuccino and chocolate muffin.
Favourite animal: Cat
A cat. With the exception of a sloth, no other animal can make inertia look stylish. I'd come home to find my cat Samson sat in an arm chair wearing a smoking jacket and cradling a whisky sour and a large cigar.
Least favourite feature: Feet
I've been incredibly blessed; the older you get, the more you realise this but if if I could change one thing it would be the size of my feet. Size 8. I ask you. That's not a foot, that's a tennis racquet.
Obessions: Many
I love blogging and I can be ever so slightly obsessional (I have a 'thing' about Hercule Poirot, Art Deco and lemon curd - happily not all at the same time). I also eat Hot Cross Buns all year round. Don't judge me.
Best James Bond: Daniel Craig, then Roger Moore.
Ant or Dec: Dec
White or Red Wine: Red (for it's anti-ageing properties obviously)
Sweet or Savoury: Can't live without cheese and olives.
X Factor or Britain's Got Talent: Britain's Got Talent. I think the X Factor has really had its day
Comedian: Russell Howard, Eddie Izzard and the marvellous Bill Bailey
Film: Blazing Saddles, The Young Frankenstein (both Mel Brooks) and Love & Death (Woody Allen)
Book: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Music: Jools Holland, Jamie Cullum, Jack Johnson. Sadly the husband loves Viking Rock and a musical genre I refer to as "that ruddy din".
I'm looking forward to learning more about you!
<
Thursday, 30 April 2015
My 7 Bank Holiday Payday Beauty Treats
It's a bank holiday and payday weekend. Here are the treats at the top of my list this month.
Zoella Blissful Mistful Fragranced Body Mist
There's no denying Zoella's popularity, having taken the beauty blogging world by storm. I'm hoping a few spritzes of this body mist will inspire me.
This is described as "a super light and feminine body spritz to scent your body with fresh and floral notes". The spray is enriched with Vitamin E and fruit extracts and is designed to be sprayed all over.
Sleek Blush By 3 in Pumpkin
This palette contains three blushes in one compact being a mix of matte, satin and shimmer shades. Highly pigmented and suited to all skin tones. One reviewer has advised "not to be afraid of the orange" as it blends really well
Benefit Roller Lash
Benefit's latest mascara claims to be a roller for lashes with a trade marked Hook 'n' Roll brush which separates, lifts and curls. It has an instant curve setting formula which holds for 12 hours. Based on results from a consumer panel of 31 women after 4 weeks, 87% said it gave a long-lasting curl and 94% said it made eyes look more wide open.
Unless Benefit's "They're Real" mascara, which I found very difficult to remove, Roller Lash claims to be easy to remove. It also contains Provitamin B5 and Serin, two ingredients known for their lash conditioning benefits.
Lush - May Day Bath Bomb - Badger
Who doesn't love Lush bath bombs? The proceeds of each of these fruity, sweet smelling bath bombs (minus the VAT) will go to the groups behind the "Votes For Animals" campaign which aims to give animals a vote this election. The groups are Animal Aid, The League Against Cruel Sports, and Save Me. The bath bombs contain fennel oil to stimulate your skin, and antiseptic rosewood oil to soothe and uplift. The fragrance is described as sweet and "sherbety".
Molton Brown Delicious Rhubarb & Rose Handwash
I love Molton Brown but it is definitely not the cheapest handwash on the market which relegates it to the treat category in my eyes. I'm always vaguely disappointed when I don't find Molton Brown in my hotel room bathroom. This new handwash in a Rhubarb & Rose fragrance is definitely a treat.
It's described as a sweet, moisturising hand wash blended with rose extract and yuzu fruit accord. It has a 'tart rhubarb' heart note, a gentle rose base note and a comforting musk. Too special to leave out for the kids.
Astrid & Miyu Diamante Evil Eye Necklace in Silver
I love Astrid & Miyu's quirky, yet somehow classic, jewellery designs and this evil eye design might be useful if your boss is anything like some of the joys I've previously worked with!
This delicate necklace has a bohemian style and is crafted from rhodium plated brass. The pendant is designed with concentric circles made up of white and powder blue cubic zirconia crystals. Astrid & Miyu suggest wearing this necklace with a peasant blouse and wide leg jeans for a throwback to the 70s look.
ASOS 70's Woven Festival Bag
This is a rattan weave basket bag with long straps, a leather flap and an amazing pattern woven into it. Perfect for the summer.
What treats would be on your list?
Zoella Blissful Mistful Fragranced Body Mist
There's no denying Zoella's popularity, having taken the beauty blogging world by storm. I'm hoping a few spritzes of this body mist will inspire me.
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| Zoella Blissful Mistful - £9.00 - feelunique.com |
Sleek Blush By 3 in Pumpkin
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| Sleek Blush By 3 Pumpkin - £9.99 - Superdrug.com |
This palette contains three blushes in one compact being a mix of matte, satin and shimmer shades. Highly pigmented and suited to all skin tones. One reviewer has advised "not to be afraid of the orange" as it blends really well
Benefit Roller Lash
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| Benefit Roller Lash £19.50 - benefit.co.uk |
Benefit's latest mascara claims to be a roller for lashes with a trade marked Hook 'n' Roll brush which separates, lifts and curls. It has an instant curve setting formula which holds for 12 hours. Based on results from a consumer panel of 31 women after 4 weeks, 87% said it gave a long-lasting curl and 94% said it made eyes look more wide open.
Unless Benefit's "They're Real" mascara, which I found very difficult to remove, Roller Lash claims to be easy to remove. It also contains Provitamin B5 and Serin, two ingredients known for their lash conditioning benefits.
Lush - May Day Bath Bomb - Badger
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| Lush May Day Bath Bomb - Badger - £2.95 |
Molton Brown Delicious Rhubarb & Rose Handwash
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| Molton Brown Delicious Rhubarb Rose Handwash - £16.00 - moltonbrown.co.uk |
I love Molton Brown but it is definitely not the cheapest handwash on the market which relegates it to the treat category in my eyes. I'm always vaguely disappointed when I don't find Molton Brown in my hotel room bathroom. This new handwash in a Rhubarb & Rose fragrance is definitely a treat.
It's described as a sweet, moisturising hand wash blended with rose extract and yuzu fruit accord. It has a 'tart rhubarb' heart note, a gentle rose base note and a comforting musk. Too special to leave out for the kids.
Astrid & Miyu Diamante Evil Eye Necklace in Silver
I love Astrid & Miyu's quirky, yet somehow classic, jewellery designs and this evil eye design might be useful if your boss is anything like some of the joys I've previously worked with!
 |
| Astrid & Miyu Diamante Evil Eye Necklace in Silver - £59.00 - astridandmiyu.com |
This delicate necklace has a bohemian style and is crafted from rhodium plated brass. The pendant is designed with concentric circles made up of white and powder blue cubic zirconia crystals. Astrid & Miyu suggest wearing this necklace with a peasant blouse and wide leg jeans for a throwback to the 70s look.
ASOS 70's Woven Festival Bag
 |
| ASOS 70's Woven Festival Bag - £16.00 - asos.com |
What treats would be on your list?
Wednesday, 29 April 2015
5 Pregnancy & New Mum Bibles I Couldn't Live Without
When you're pregnant, you've often plenty of time to research every aspect of pregnancy - and there's LOADS of information out there.
If you're anything like me, you'll be reading all the pregnancy and baby guides you can get your hands on!
There are distinct schools of thought on the best way to bring up baby, from the controlled crying techniques of Gina Ford to the co-sleeping recommendations of James J. McKenna.
Pram or baby sling? Breast feed or formula? Cot or moses basket? There are reams of information of every aspect of motherhood even down to what to put in your hospital bag.
You really need clear, concise information from a reputable source you can trust and these five books became my bibles. I heartily recommend all of them and they are all available on amazon.co.uk.
What to Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff
This was the book I turned to every night and at every twinge. Murkoff does not sugar-coat the information and points out what can go wrong as well as what is usually nothing to worry about. Don't expect cuddly photos of newborns, but do expect practical, "does what it says on the tin" advice.
The latest edition (the fourth) has been completely revised and updated.
"Heidi Murkoff has rewritten every section of the book, answering dozens of new questions and including loads of new asked-for material, such as a detailed week-by-week foetal development section in each of the monthly chapters, an expanded chapter on pre-conception, and a brand new one on carrying multiples.
The Fourth Edition incorporates the most recent developments in obstetrics and addresses the most current lifestyle trends (from tattooing and belly piercing to Botox and aromatherapy).
There's more than ever on pregnancy matters practical (including an expanded section on workplace concerns), physical (with more symptoms, more solutions), emotional (advice on riding the mood roller coaster), nutritional (from low-carb to vegan, from junk food-dependent to caffeine-addicted), and sexual (what's hot and what's not in pregnant lovemaking), as well as much more support for that very important partner in parenting, the dad-to-be".
Your New Pregnancy Bible - The Experts Guide To Pregnancy And Early Parenthood by Dr Anne Deans
On the other hand, if you want to spend, like I did, hours staring at pictures of developing babies so you can gauge how big your little one is at every stage of your pregnancy, this is the book for you.
Far friendlier in tone than "What to Expect", it has clear explanations of the labour process and a great medical reference section. It gives added peace of mind because it was written by a team of eminent specialists under the direction of a leading UK obstetrician.
"....this latest edition of Your Pregnancy Bible has been updated to take account of recent changes in antenatal and newborn care and to provide more comprehensive discussion of caesarean deliveries.
Given a fresh design, it still contains special fold-out sections on each of the trimesters and the birth process; week-by-week images of the developing baby; in-depth chapters dealing with all aspects of antenatal care, labour preparation, delivery experiences and care of the newborn; comprehensive reference sections on medical treatments and procedures in both pregnancy and the postnatal period and an extensive glossary of ante- and neonatal terminology".
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer
When Caitlin was born I was completely clueless. I hadn't even put a nappy on a baby before. And I certainly didn't know anything about a day in the life of a baby. For example, I had no idea that a newborn will need substantial naps during the day and will not be able to play for much more than 45 minutes at a time.
It was with a huge sigh of relief that I stumbled upon Tracy Hogg's wonderful Baby Whisperer books. Both this one and her problem solving guide (below) were invaluable in teaching me the importance of routines so that everyone in the family knows what is happening and where they are. Tracy sadly died in 2004 but her advice is still relevant today I think.
"In this remarkable parenting book, Tracy demystifies the magic she has performed with some five thousand babies. She teaches parents how to work out what kind of baby they have, what kind of mother and father they are, and what kind of parenting plan will work best for them.
Believing that babies need to become part of the family - rather than dominate it - she has developed a practical programme that works with infants as young as a day old. Her methods are also applauded by scientists: 'Tracy's is a voice that should be heard. She appears very knowledgeable about modern infant research and has incorporated this to a level parents can understand. In spite of all the baby how-tos on the market, this one will stand out.'
In case you're wondering The Baby Whisperer method is often described as being in between crying it out methods and no tears methods. I liked it because Tracy does not advocate letting babies cry it out (unlike Gina Ford).
BUT she does not advocate "accidental parenting" which is where parents accidentally use props to get baby to sleep - like giving them a bottle, or rocking them, for example.
Several methods are given in the book to help parents teach their baby the all important sleep basics which includes a strictly structured routine (E.A.S.Y.) and the pick up put down (pu/pd) method for putting baby to bed.
E.A.S.Y. stands for Eating, Activity, Sleep and You and Tracy suggests timings for each activity according to the age of the baby. The Pick Up, Put Down Method looks at how you put your baby to sleep in her cot and focuses on getting her to sleep alone. Tracy suggests a "Four S" wind down ritual to set the scene (swaddling perhaps, sitting quietly, and shush-patting to help quieten your little one down). Even if you don't adopt her ideas wholesale, there are enough ideas in the book to help you work out what works for you and your baby.
The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems
The follow-on book to "Secrets Of The Baby Whisperer", this one answers a whole host of questions from parents of babies at differing stages of development.
It focuses on the "Big Three" - sleep, feeding and behaviour from infancy to the age of 3 and explains Tracy's philosophy and methods in much greater detail. I think you really need both of these books to get the best out of the system.
Annabel Karmel's The Complete Baby and Toddler Meal Planner
Once Caitlin started her weaning around 4 months and had got past the baby rice and simple apple puree stage, I became completely stuck on what to feed her. Annabel Karmel's books were fantastic at giving a range of ideas for simple purees and combinations to educate your child's palette and to introduce a wide range of foods.
I think it's no coincidence that Caitlin will now eat anything and is quite adventurous in her tastes (olives, for example). By the time Ieuan came along, he had less of a range of purees and mini meals and, is far fussier with food than his sister.
You will need a good blender and a range of freezer proof pots in varying sizes.
Annabel Karmel is undoubtedly the UK’s No.1 author on feeding babies and children and this particular book is the one I turned to time and time again.
It contains: "the best first foods to try, tasty recipes and ideas for introducing more complex flavours and textures; meal planners and time-saving menu charts allowing you to highlight and record which recipes your children liked and disliked. The original version of this book has sold over 4 million copies worldwide, with Annabel becoming a leading resource for parents who want to give their growing family tasty, wholesome meals that even the fussiest eaters will love".
So there you have it - my 5 pregnancy bibles, now handed on to other expectant mums so that they can feel as comforted by them as I did.
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. I will only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers.
If you're anything like me, you'll be reading all the pregnancy and baby guides you can get your hands on!
There are distinct schools of thought on the best way to bring up baby, from the controlled crying techniques of Gina Ford to the co-sleeping recommendations of James J. McKenna.
Pram or baby sling? Breast feed or formula? Cot or moses basket? There are reams of information of every aspect of motherhood even down to what to put in your hospital bag.
You really need clear, concise information from a reputable source you can trust and these five books became my bibles. I heartily recommend all of them and they are all available on amazon.co.uk.
What to Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff
This was the book I turned to every night and at every twinge. Murkoff does not sugar-coat the information and points out what can go wrong as well as what is usually nothing to worry about. Don't expect cuddly photos of newborns, but do expect practical, "does what it says on the tin" advice.
 |
"Heidi Murkoff has rewritten every section of the book, answering dozens of new questions and including loads of new asked-for material, such as a detailed week-by-week foetal development section in each of the monthly chapters, an expanded chapter on pre-conception, and a brand new one on carrying multiples.
The Fourth Edition incorporates the most recent developments in obstetrics and addresses the most current lifestyle trends (from tattooing and belly piercing to Botox and aromatherapy).
There's more than ever on pregnancy matters practical (including an expanded section on workplace concerns), physical (with more symptoms, more solutions), emotional (advice on riding the mood roller coaster), nutritional (from low-carb to vegan, from junk food-dependent to caffeine-addicted), and sexual (what's hot and what's not in pregnant lovemaking), as well as much more support for that very important partner in parenting, the dad-to-be".
On the other hand, if you want to spend, like I did, hours staring at pictures of developing babies so you can gauge how big your little one is at every stage of your pregnancy, this is the book for you.
 |
"....this latest edition of Your Pregnancy Bible has been updated to take account of recent changes in antenatal and newborn care and to provide more comprehensive discussion of caesarean deliveries.
Given a fresh design, it still contains special fold-out sections on each of the trimesters and the birth process; week-by-week images of the developing baby; in-depth chapters dealing with all aspects of antenatal care, labour preparation, delivery experiences and care of the newborn; comprehensive reference sections on medical treatments and procedures in both pregnancy and the postnatal period and an extensive glossary of ante- and neonatal terminology".
When Caitlin was born I was completely clueless. I hadn't even put a nappy on a baby before. And I certainly didn't know anything about a day in the life of a baby. For example, I had no idea that a newborn will need substantial naps during the day and will not be able to play for much more than 45 minutes at a time.
 |
It was with a huge sigh of relief that I stumbled upon Tracy Hogg's wonderful Baby Whisperer books. Both this one and her problem solving guide (below) were invaluable in teaching me the importance of routines so that everyone in the family knows what is happening and where they are. Tracy sadly died in 2004 but her advice is still relevant today I think.
"In this remarkable parenting book, Tracy demystifies the magic she has performed with some five thousand babies. She teaches parents how to work out what kind of baby they have, what kind of mother and father they are, and what kind of parenting plan will work best for them.
Believing that babies need to become part of the family - rather than dominate it - she has developed a practical programme that works with infants as young as a day old. Her methods are also applauded by scientists: 'Tracy's is a voice that should be heard. She appears very knowledgeable about modern infant research and has incorporated this to a level parents can understand. In spite of all the baby how-tos on the market, this one will stand out.'
BUT she does not advocate "accidental parenting" which is where parents accidentally use props to get baby to sleep - like giving them a bottle, or rocking them, for example.
Several methods are given in the book to help parents teach their baby the all important sleep basics which includes a strictly structured routine (E.A.S.Y.) and the pick up put down (pu/pd) method for putting baby to bed.
E.A.S.Y. stands for Eating, Activity, Sleep and You and Tracy suggests timings for each activity according to the age of the baby. The Pick Up, Put Down Method looks at how you put your baby to sleep in her cot and focuses on getting her to sleep alone. Tracy suggests a "Four S" wind down ritual to set the scene (swaddling perhaps, sitting quietly, and shush-patting to help quieten your little one down). Even if you don't adopt her ideas wholesale, there are enough ideas in the book to help you work out what works for you and your baby.
The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems
The follow-on book to "Secrets Of The Baby Whisperer", this one answers a whole host of questions from parents of babies at differing stages of development.
 |
It focuses on the "Big Three" - sleep, feeding and behaviour from infancy to the age of 3 and explains Tracy's philosophy and methods in much greater detail. I think you really need both of these books to get the best out of the system.
Annabel Karmel's The Complete Baby and Toddler Meal Planner
Once Caitlin started her weaning around 4 months and had got past the baby rice and simple apple puree stage, I became completely stuck on what to feed her. Annabel Karmel's books were fantastic at giving a range of ideas for simple purees and combinations to educate your child's palette and to introduce a wide range of foods.
 |
I think it's no coincidence that Caitlin will now eat anything and is quite adventurous in her tastes (olives, for example). By the time Ieuan came along, he had less of a range of purees and mini meals and, is far fussier with food than his sister.
You will need a good blender and a range of freezer proof pots in varying sizes.
Annabel Karmel is undoubtedly the UK’s No.1 author on feeding babies and children and this particular book is the one I turned to time and time again.
It contains: "the best first foods to try, tasty recipes and ideas for introducing more complex flavours and textures; meal planners and time-saving menu charts allowing you to highlight and record which recipes your children liked and disliked. The original version of this book has sold over 4 million copies worldwide, with Annabel becoming a leading resource for parents who want to give their growing family tasty, wholesome meals that even the fussiest eaters will love".
So there you have it - my 5 pregnancy bibles, now handed on to other expectant mums so that they can feel as comforted by them as I did.
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. I will only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers.
Tuesday, 28 April 2015
Tips for Getting The Most From Your Babysitter - And Your Date Night
There's often nothing more nerve wracking when going on a night out and leaving the kids at home in the care of someone else.
But, for the sake of your relationship, your self-esteem and your mental health, you really need time out, adult conversation and a chance to be the person you used to be - if only for a short while.
How much trouble could they be?
How do you stop yourself from spending all night with your mobile in your hand in case the babysitter calls? I'm talking here about toddlers and older children, by the way, rather than very young babies. My parents and sister would babysit for us when the children were babies.
Make sure your babysitter is up to the job.
There is no legal age requirement for a babysitter but the NSPCC recommends that no-one under the age of 16 should be left alone to look after children.
Frankly I think even 16 is too young, no matter how responsible their own parents may claim them to be.
You may feel differently if the babysitter is a member of your own family or an older sibling of course, but I would rather play safe and ensure that a responsible adult was looking after the kids in case of accident, sickness or some other emergency.
There are babysitting websites such as www.findababysitter.com where you can buy a monthly subscription (currently £25 a month).
You can post your requirements and receive messages from prospective babysitters free of charge but you'll need to subscribe to message them if they do not include a contact number.
Whilst schemes such as these offer the added peace of mind of being able to put you in touch with far more local babysitters than you could probably drum up by just asking around, and some background checks are carried out, you may find that lots of your messages are from eager teenagers looking to earn some pocket money.
I also found lots of messages from babysitters who lived so far away from me it would have taken them a couple of hours to get home!
You still need to take steps to ensure you find the right person to look after your kids, even if it is just for a night out.
I always interview any new babysitter and make sure that they meet my children.
I've found the babysitters who are truly interested in the job generally don't mind a quick 20 minute meet 'n' greet.
Kids are usually very upfront about whether or not they like someone and it's a great way to see how the babysitter interacts with the children.
Sitting on a sofa clutching a coffee and observing them from the other side of the room isn't that great a sign.
The best babysitters I have had have found themselves dragged off to play / colour / inspect toys and haven't minded in the slightest (well, maybe just a bit!).
Leave a list of emergency telephone numbers
It's a good idea to have a typed list of emergency telephone numbers to give to the babysitter.
We usually visit the same restaurants on our rare nights out so I add the restaurant telephone numbers to the list.
I also include the number of a nearby responsible adult (in this case my parents) in case we are in an area where mobile reception is poor.
Leave stuff for the kids to do.
Our current babysitter always brings a selection of craft material and some DVDs but you may want to have similar things available to help the babysitter out.
Leave clear instructions about bedtimes and bedtime routines.
Our babysitters know to put our kids to bed at 8 pm.
We've found in the past that telling a babysitter to put them to bed "when they're tired" means kids will suddenly be bright eyed and bushy tailed way past 9 pm. It helps the babysitter to know which toothbrush / toothpaste/ comforter is required and whether doors should be shut and lights left on or off.
Leave even clearer instructions about any medicines to be given and in what situation.
Generally, I'm talking about antibiotics and medicines like Calpol or Nurofen here.
Make sure the babysitter knows where they are and most importantly when the last dose was given.
To be honest, if my kids are unwell enough to need medicine we usually stay home but this isn't always possible I know.
Let the babysitter know under what circumstances you must be called.
This will vary according to the level of trust you have in the babysitter.
If your child just wakes and needs comforting, the babysitter should be able to handle this but if your child is sick, for example, you really need to know so you can come home.
Be clear about when you are likely to be back.
We are not exactly rock 'n' roll types (any more) so we are usually back before 11 pm.
There are two reasons for this.
Firstly I don't think it's particularly fair on the babysitter to leave them there into the small hours and secondly, given that the average hourly rate for a babysitter is between £6.50 and £7.50, you can quickly find a night out becomes very expensive indeed.
Check that the babysitter can get home safely
But, for the sake of your relationship, your self-esteem and your mental health, you really need time out, adult conversation and a chance to be the person you used to be - if only for a short while.
How much trouble could they be?
How do you stop yourself from spending all night with your mobile in your hand in case the babysitter calls? I'm talking here about toddlers and older children, by the way, rather than very young babies. My parents and sister would babysit for us when the children were babies.
Make sure your babysitter is up to the job.
There is no legal age requirement for a babysitter but the NSPCC recommends that no-one under the age of 16 should be left alone to look after children.
Frankly I think even 16 is too young, no matter how responsible their own parents may claim them to be.
You may feel differently if the babysitter is a member of your own family or an older sibling of course, but I would rather play safe and ensure that a responsible adult was looking after the kids in case of accident, sickness or some other emergency.
There are babysitting websites such as www.findababysitter.com where you can buy a monthly subscription (currently £25 a month).
You can post your requirements and receive messages from prospective babysitters free of charge but you'll need to subscribe to message them if they do not include a contact number.
Whilst schemes such as these offer the added peace of mind of being able to put you in touch with far more local babysitters than you could probably drum up by just asking around, and some background checks are carried out, you may find that lots of your messages are from eager teenagers looking to earn some pocket money.
I also found lots of messages from babysitters who lived so far away from me it would have taken them a couple of hours to get home!
You still need to take steps to ensure you find the right person to look after your kids, even if it is just for a night out.
I always interview any new babysitter and make sure that they meet my children.
I've found the babysitters who are truly interested in the job generally don't mind a quick 20 minute meet 'n' greet.
Kids are usually very upfront about whether or not they like someone and it's a great way to see how the babysitter interacts with the children.
Sitting on a sofa clutching a coffee and observing them from the other side of the room isn't that great a sign.
The best babysitters I have had have found themselves dragged off to play / colour / inspect toys and haven't minded in the slightest (well, maybe just a bit!).
Leave a list of emergency telephone numbers
It's a good idea to have a typed list of emergency telephone numbers to give to the babysitter.
We usually visit the same restaurants on our rare nights out so I add the restaurant telephone numbers to the list.
I also include the number of a nearby responsible adult (in this case my parents) in case we are in an area where mobile reception is poor.
Leave stuff for the kids to do.
Our current babysitter always brings a selection of craft material and some DVDs but you may want to have similar things available to help the babysitter out.
Leave clear instructions about bedtimes and bedtime routines.
Our babysitters know to put our kids to bed at 8 pm.
We've found in the past that telling a babysitter to put them to bed "when they're tired" means kids will suddenly be bright eyed and bushy tailed way past 9 pm. It helps the babysitter to know which toothbrush / toothpaste/ comforter is required and whether doors should be shut and lights left on or off.
Leave even clearer instructions about any medicines to be given and in what situation.
Generally, I'm talking about antibiotics and medicines like Calpol or Nurofen here.
Make sure the babysitter knows where they are and most importantly when the last dose was given.
To be honest, if my kids are unwell enough to need medicine we usually stay home but this isn't always possible I know.
Let the babysitter know under what circumstances you must be called.
This will vary according to the level of trust you have in the babysitter.
If your child just wakes and needs comforting, the babysitter should be able to handle this but if your child is sick, for example, you really need to know so you can come home.
Be clear about when you are likely to be back.
We are not exactly rock 'n' roll types (any more) so we are usually back before 11 pm.
There are two reasons for this.
Firstly I don't think it's particularly fair on the babysitter to leave them there into the small hours and secondly, given that the average hourly rate for a babysitter is between £6.50 and £7.50, you can quickly find a night out becomes very expensive indeed.
Check that the babysitter can get home safely
It's just courtesy to ensure that your babysitter isn't wandering off home alone in the dark.
Have their pay ready and make sure you've agreed what that will be beforehand.
This is your chance to dress up, glam up and be a woman again.
Some of you might have managed to maintain immaculate levels of grooming despite having children but I seem to have been welded into a pair of black leggings so it makes a nice change to see my legs again and slip into a pair of heels.
Have their pay ready and make sure you've agreed what that will be beforehand.
Make sure you have the right money to pay the babysitter on hand as soon as you get home.
You don't want to be rifling through bags, pockets and down the back of the sofa to find the right money - and your babysitter will be eager to get home.
Dress up
You don't want to be rifling through bags, pockets and down the back of the sofa to find the right money - and your babysitter will be eager to get home.
Dress up
This is your chance to dress up, glam up and be a woman again.
Some of you might have managed to maintain immaculate levels of grooming despite having children but I seem to have been welded into a pair of black leggings so it makes a nice change to see my legs again and slip into a pair of heels.
Try to relax
This is your time so make the most of it. I find I often get so stressed before I go out I get a headache. I'm working on becoming a little more chilled.
Don't just talk about the kids
If you have made sure you have the best babysitter for the job then you should be able to relax a little and concentrate on your date.
Chat about your holiday plans, what you'd like to do in the future, how your partner's job is going, what your ambitions are.
Don't just talk about the kids
If you have made sure you have the best babysitter for the job then you should be able to relax a little and concentrate on your date.
Chat about your holiday plans, what you'd like to do in the future, how your partner's job is going, what your ambitions are.
This is your chance to try to reignite any spark that may be less bright than it was between you.
Don't constantly look at your mobile.
Put it next to your plate if you must but try to concentrate on your date. On the other hand, make sure your phone is fully charged when you go out.
Eat something
Yes I know - you're spending money on yourselves - so try to enjoy it!
If you're like us, it may be quite a while before you're able to go out again so try to make it memorable.
The world won't implode if you have a Sticky Toffee Pudding.
Book your taxi home before you leave.
Worth considering if it's a Friday or Saturday night and you face a long wait to get a cab.
And if you're taking the car, put your mind at rest by checking the fuel level and having cash on hand for the car park.
I always love coming home after a night out and going upstairs to give Caitlin and Ieuan a sneaky good night kiss and to straighten their bed covers.
They look so angelic when they sleeping.
And I feel extra happy, having had a break of a couple of hours.
Don't constantly look at your mobile.
Put it next to your plate if you must but try to concentrate on your date. On the other hand, make sure your phone is fully charged when you go out.
Eat something
Yes I know - you're spending money on yourselves - so try to enjoy it!
If you're like us, it may be quite a while before you're able to go out again so try to make it memorable.
The world won't implode if you have a Sticky Toffee Pudding.
Book your taxi home before you leave.
Worth considering if it's a Friday or Saturday night and you face a long wait to get a cab.
And if you're taking the car, put your mind at rest by checking the fuel level and having cash on hand for the car park.
I always love coming home after a night out and going upstairs to give Caitlin and Ieuan a sneaky good night kiss and to straighten their bed covers.
They look so angelic when they sleeping.
And I feel extra happy, having had a break of a couple of hours.
Monday, 27 April 2015
Baby Gifts Fit For a Princess (Or Prince)
Will it be a girl or a boy? Kate is keeping us waiting but if you know an expectant mum and want to be super organised, here are some lovely gifts which would suit the most regal of babies (and their mums and dads).
For Baby
For Mum
For Dad
I think these make a change from the usual flowers and chocolates, don't you? And if mum is going to breast feed, champagne is a no-no! You might also want to get a little something for a soon-to-be-sibling too. Caitlin was fascinated by Ieuan's arrival and had a cuddly toy to assuage any pique at being temporarily eclipsed in the attention stakes!
If budget is an issue, probably the most welcome gift of all is an offer to babysit, even if it is just to let the new parents have a coffee out together, or why not offer to help with something like the ironing while the new mum takes a well deserved nap?
For a new mum, sleep is the best gift of all!
 |
| Union Jack Soft Leather Baby Shoes - £22.99 - baby-gifts.co.uk |
 |
| Bio-Baby Steiff Rabbit Grip Toy With Rattle - £17.99 - baby-gifts.co.uk |
 |
| Inkless Handprint & Footprint Kit - £7.95 - notonthehighstreet.com |
 |
| Personalised Baby Hoodie - £22 - gettingpersonal.co.uk |
 |
| Personalised Large Bonnie Bear - £22.99 - gettingpersonal.co.uk |
 |
| Personalised Name Frame - £35 - thelittlelavendertree.co.uk |
For Mum
 |
| Merci Maman 18 ct Gold Plated Heart Liberty Bracelet - £29 - John Lewis |
 |
| Merci Maman Duchess Girl Personalised Charm Necklace - £99 - John Lewis |
 |
| Pink Lining Sunflowers Changing Bag - £79 - pinklining.co.uk |
 |
| The Care Package - £26 - dontbuyherflowers.com |
For Dad
 |
| Pint and Half Pint T-Shirt - £33 - BoutiqueToYou.co.uk |
 |
| Personalised Square Silver Fingerprint Cufflinks - £129 - notonthehighstreet.com |
 |
| Daddy Outdoor Nappy Bag - £25 - babyshowerhost.co.uk |
I think these make a change from the usual flowers and chocolates, don't you? And if mum is going to breast feed, champagne is a no-no! You might also want to get a little something for a soon-to-be-sibling too. Caitlin was fascinated by Ieuan's arrival and had a cuddly toy to assuage any pique at being temporarily eclipsed in the attention stakes!
If budget is an issue, probably the most welcome gift of all is an offer to babysit, even if it is just to let the new parents have a coffee out together, or why not offer to help with something like the ironing while the new mum takes a well deserved nap?
For a new mum, sleep is the best gift of all!
How To Win The Lottery - Guaranteed?
How to win the lottery - that's what we all dream of, isn't it? Despite the odds against us, many of us hold our breath, particularly on Tuesdays and Fridays when the Euromillions jackpots have rolled over to staggeringly large amounts.
Now I don't advocate gambling but I do play the lottery. I think of it as my way of giving a bit to charity and, let's be honest, for most of us, winning a lottery jackpot is the only way we are going to join the ranks of the rich and famous - quickly, at any rate.
Online lottery ticket service lottosend.com recently carried out some research in advance of World Wish Day on April 29th and found that the top 5 wishes of a 1000 people surveyed across the UK were as follows:-
1.win the lottery [7%]
2. health [6.6%]
3.money [5.9%]
4.world peace [4.8%]
5.happiness [3.5%]
Interestingly, men wanted money most [6.5%] but women wanted health [7.9%]. Money was the top wish for both the 18-24 and 25-34 age groups, but both the 35-44 and 45-54 age groups wanted to win the lottery. The 55-64 and 65+ age groups valued health most (unsurprisingly!).
So the big question is - how can I improve my chances of winning?
You've got to be in it to win it, they say. And it is possible to enter lotteries not only in the UK but in Europe and the US, as long as you check the local laws about collecting your winnings! This should increase your chances rather than always sticking the the National Lottery in the UK.
The Telegraph has compiled its 10 tips for maximising your chance of a lottery win [here]. These include a couple of surprises including not bothering with ball number 13 (in 20 years it's only appeared 229 times which is the lowest of any ball) and instead choosing number 38 which is the most drawn at 314 times. Only 11% of lottery millionnaires won by sticking to their tried and tested numbers such as birth dates, anniversaries and door numbers so you'd do well to mix your numbers up occasionally. Your chances of winning are also significantly raised if you join a lottery syndicate, making sure you have a written agreement between the members of course!
Other things you could consider are:-
- playing less often but buying more tickets when you do - apparently this increases your chances
- don't choose pretty patterns - it's popular to pick your numbers by creating diagonal lines or vertical lines on your ticket, increasing the risk of having to share the jackpot with others who choose the same way.
- avoiding 16, 41 and 20 which perform just as poorly as number 13
What makes some people luckier than others? Richard Wiseman who has written extensively on the subject in his book "The Luck Factor" says that there are 4 psychological principles you can observe with 'lucky' people [The Guardian, 2/4/15]
They create and notice opportunities by building a strong social network, developing a relaxed attitude to life, and being open to change.
They tend to often listen to their intuition and act quickly. In contrast, unlucky people tend to overanalyse situations and are afraid to act.
They are confident that the future will be bright, and these expectations become self-fulfilling prophecies because they help motivate lucky people to try even when the odds are against them. Unlucky people are sure that they will fail and so often give up before they have begun.
They are highly resilient, and keep going in the face of failure and learn from past mistakes. Unlucky people get dragged down by the smallest of problems and take responsibility for events outside of their control.
Now I reckon that if you can cultivate a mindset like that, you really will have won the lottery!
This is a sponsored post.
Now I don't advocate gambling but I do play the lottery. I think of it as my way of giving a bit to charity and, let's be honest, for most of us, winning a lottery jackpot is the only way we are going to join the ranks of the rich and famous - quickly, at any rate.
Online lottery ticket service lottosend.com recently carried out some research in advance of World Wish Day on April 29th and found that the top 5 wishes of a 1000 people surveyed across the UK were as follows:-
1.win the lottery [7%]
2. health [6.6%]
3.money [5.9%]
4.world peace [4.8%]
5.happiness [3.5%]
Interestingly, men wanted money most [6.5%] but women wanted health [7.9%]. Money was the top wish for both the 18-24 and 25-34 age groups, but both the 35-44 and 45-54 age groups wanted to win the lottery. The 55-64 and 65+ age groups valued health most (unsurprisingly!).
So the big question is - how can I improve my chances of winning?
You've got to be in it to win it, they say. And it is possible to enter lotteries not only in the UK but in Europe and the US, as long as you check the local laws about collecting your winnings! This should increase your chances rather than always sticking the the National Lottery in the UK.
The Telegraph has compiled its 10 tips for maximising your chance of a lottery win [here]. These include a couple of surprises including not bothering with ball number 13 (in 20 years it's only appeared 229 times which is the lowest of any ball) and instead choosing number 38 which is the most drawn at 314 times. Only 11% of lottery millionnaires won by sticking to their tried and tested numbers such as birth dates, anniversaries and door numbers so you'd do well to mix your numbers up occasionally. Your chances of winning are also significantly raised if you join a lottery syndicate, making sure you have a written agreement between the members of course!
Other things you could consider are:-
- playing less often but buying more tickets when you do - apparently this increases your chances
- don't choose pretty patterns - it's popular to pick your numbers by creating diagonal lines or vertical lines on your ticket, increasing the risk of having to share the jackpot with others who choose the same way.
- avoiding 16, 41 and 20 which perform just as poorly as number 13
What makes some people luckier than others? Richard Wiseman who has written extensively on the subject in his book "The Luck Factor" says that there are 4 psychological principles you can observe with 'lucky' people [The Guardian, 2/4/15]
They create and notice opportunities by building a strong social network, developing a relaxed attitude to life, and being open to change.
They tend to often listen to their intuition and act quickly. In contrast, unlucky people tend to overanalyse situations and are afraid to act.
They are confident that the future will be bright, and these expectations become self-fulfilling prophecies because they help motivate lucky people to try even when the odds are against them. Unlucky people are sure that they will fail and so often give up before they have begun.
They are highly resilient, and keep going in the face of failure and learn from past mistakes. Unlucky people get dragged down by the smallest of problems and take responsibility for events outside of their control.
Now I reckon that if you can cultivate a mindset like that, you really will have won the lottery!
This is a sponsored post.
Sunday, 26 April 2015
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