Bleurgh! Win Gross Magic From Drumond Park Games

As we all know, despite trying very hard to monitor the appearance of all things gross and bottom-related, there's nothing kids enjoy more, with the exception of making their friends and family even more disgusted.

I've 2 sets of Gross Magic to give away

Gross Magic by Drumond Park is a highly entertaining magic set with a difference - it's best not attempted on a full stomach.  It's a set of props to help kids carry out 39 funny magic tricks involving poo, cockroaches, veins, loose teeth and all manner of yuk guaranteed to create shouts of "yuk!".

The set comes with an informative guide to help kids carry out the tricks.  Gross Magic is aimed at kids over 8 and even so, some of the tricks will need an adult to explain how to carry them out.  There are a number of small parts in the kit which definitely makes it unsuitable for younger kids - for example dummy teeth and cockroaches!

The Contents Of The Magic Set

The tricks are split into groups according to the props they use - a dustbin, sponge bogies, veins, bogie paddles and other accessories like the cube and the telepathic brain.




Of the 39 tricks in the instruction booklet, 31 of them need the Gross Magic props but the remaining 8 can be carried out without them using things you may have in the house.  The one I like most is pretending you have a toothache and then spitting out tic-tac mints to pretend you've lost your pearly whites!

Or, even more revolting, pretend your eye has burst with the aid of one of those little sealed pots of milk some cafes give you for your tea.  I won't break a magician's confidence but you can probably guess how it's done.

Gross Magic was just the right level for Caitlin (nearly 9) but there was plenty to keep Ieuan (7) happy - including some disgusting brown slim and pretend veins.




The instruction booklet has some great tips for aspiring magicians (don't tell everyone how it's done) so that the tricks can be carried out as professionally as possible.

And with Halloween coming up, Drumond Park's Gross Magic would be ideal to kick off the party games - adults will enjoy it too - or if you've the stomach for it, the set would certainly make a change from charades at your Christmas party.

I think I may use the Tic Tac trick anyway.

Gross Magic costs around £19.99 and is available from Argos, Tesco, Amazon and major toy stores.

Ieuan pulling out his veins

If you want your Halloween to be even more revolting than usual,  I have TWO copies of Gross Magic to give away to two lucky winners.  Entry is via the Rafflecopter widget below.  UK entrants only and as mentioned above Gross Magic is suitable for children 8+.

The giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Sunday 16th October 2016. Terms and conditions apply and are on my Competitions page.


a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck!

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Relationship Dilemmas - What Was I Asked In Week 37?

After a refreshing summer break, Relationship Dilemmas is back. As usual, the questions I am asked can be about any aspect of relationships, and sometimes parenting and health.

If you would like any advice, feel free to message me or pop a comment in the comment box at the end of this post. I promise to be gentle.

Here's just some of the questions I've been asked this week.

Q: How do I tell my kids sorry for not being a strong mom after a divorce? They lived with their dad from ages 13 to 18.

A: I think it’s natural for most people to feel guilty after a divorce - or at least a sense of failure - whether they were the person who left or the one who stayed. 

If your kids are happy, well-adjusted individuals who are doing OK at school and have friends then don’t worry too much. The most important thing is that they know they are loved equally by both their parents. 

My kids are 8 and 7 and have school friends whose parents have split or are in the process of splitting up. 

All we can do is explain that we are all human, nobody is perfect and that relationships are not always carved in stone.

I don’t think we are doing are kids a favour by pretending that the traditional nuclear family is a lasting solution to happiness, nor by hiding the fact that as mothers we are not infallible. Mothers are women first, aren’t they? 

Why don’t you take the kids out for a burger and just have a general chat about how they feel about things and ask them if they have any questions you can answer for them. I think that’s a better approach than saying “I was a terrible mother, don’t hate me”. 

You may find that lots of these worries are in your head. 

I think you may benefit from talking to a good friend about your feelings or perhaps a little counselling? 

Good luck. 

Q: Why can't I feel romantic love or excitement?

A: The off-the-cuff answer would be because you haven’t found that special someone or thing that will truly excite you. 

The more serious answer is that, when we feel like this, sometimes we are suffering from anxiety or depression. It’s not for nothing that depression is called the “black dog” because it follows us about sucking the joy out of everything. 

There is insufficient information in your question to give you a clear answer but I would also suggestion that you can’t force romance or excitement. 

It’ll happen when the time is right and when you aren’t looking for it.

If you are feeling down and unhappy I’d suggest you talk to somebody about your feelings, perhaps your GP. 

Sooner or later the clouds will lift, I promise you.

Q: Is there such a thing as not being ready for a relationship?

A: You don’t say how old you are so I’m wondering if your question is really “when will I find someone” 

Otherwise, I’d say you don’t have to be in a relationship. 

Some people are happier on their own, doing their own thing and if someone comes along they want to spend time with, great. If not, well, no problem. 

The problem comes when we feel others judge us for not being in a relationship. And those who judge the most, by the way, are usually looking to distract themselves from their own less than sucessful relationships! 

Ultimately, it’s your choice. It’s not about “being ready”. It’s about finding someone who is a great friend with that added romantic spark. 

I would spend time with friends, meeting as many people as you feel inclined to and developing your interests. 

You may just find a relationship turns up without you even needing to be “ready”.

Q: Do I have to help my broke parents?

A: You don’t say why your parents are broke or whether this is a sudden turn of events but I think most sons and daughters would feel morally and emotionally obliged to try to help out in some way. 

Of course, if you have a poor relationship with them or they have been cruel or abusive then, understandably, I can quite understand why you would feel wholly justified in walking away. 

If you do have a good relationship with them then a sensible first step is to sit down with them and understand their exact financial position, the amount of their debts and how soon these must be paid off. 

In the UK, for example, 3 defaults on a mortgage payment may lead, as I understand it, to having your property repossessed. 

Could you sort out a debt counsellor for them? Or help them make an appointment to talk to their bank or other lenders? Is this debt something that is continuing to rack up? Are there, for example, gambling problems? 

I think, rather than wading in with a cheque book, the situation needs a clear, logical analysis and it is likely that it may take a professional to sort it out. 

If you cannot afford to help then you are perfectly reasonable if you explain this to them but are there non-financial ways you could help tide them over? Cooking meals, driving them places, helping with some DIY, finding some books on budgeting and financial planning? 

The most helpful thing you can do for your parents is to show them how they can get their finances back in order so that debt is reduced and does not mount up. 

There’s no point throwing money at a problem if it is only a short term solution - unless of course there is a risk to their health and security which needs immediate action.

Q: What are the advantages and disadvantages of dating a man who has 4 children under the age of 5 and we are both in our 20's and I don't have children? 

We have been dating for 2 years and I'm helping him with his 3 kids. We have discussed marriage. He’s a loving dad & hard working. I'm fond of his 3 kids. We're in love. Our issues are his family & ties to his exes. He found out that while separated from ex he got a friend pregnant. He's done a Paternity Test and has another 4 year old.

My boyfriend’s older sister (single parent of two children) lives with him (rent free) and watches his kids while he works. He pays her. His older brother also lives with him (rent free) because he's been down on his luck lately. He has an older sister that is married with kids that got overprotective and confrontational with me because sometimes I watched the kids and she was “concerned”. She never apologized for calling me up and being rude to me.

I'm 25 years old and although my parents aren't trying to stop me from dating him, they have asked me to move out (and test out living with my boyfriend). I'm hurt that they are pushing me out. [question edited due to length...]

A: This man seems to have had an incredibly chequered romantic history and a rather cavalier attitude to contraception. 

I’m afraid I can quite understand why your parents aren’t too keen on him. Are you sure there aren’t more kids dotted about somewhere that he hasn’t told you about? 

Unfortunately, the kids are part of the package and I think there’s a chance you will end up taking over responsibility from his sister without the payment! 

I know you say you’re ‘in love’ but this man seems to have been in and out of relationships an awful lot. 

It’s all very well for him to say that he is going to “step up and be a dad” but what about the mothers involved in all this? By default he will always have a relationship with them - and so will you. 

It also sounds like his family are very much a part of the package and it looks like the older sister views you as another one in a pretty long line - hence her confrontational attitude to you. 

This man seems to have created quite a bit of havoc and is happy for his family to mop up the mess. 

In your shoes I would think very carefully indeed about what a future with him, his family and his copious kids would look like. 25 is very young to be saddled with all that. 

Q: I separated from my husband two months ago and now I want him back.

A: In the absence of any explanation about what happened, all I can say is “it depends”. 

Who instigated the separation? Was one of you unfaithful? Or unkind? Or abusive? How long had you been married? 

Nobody can wave a magic wand and tell you it will all be OK. 

First you need to tell your partner how you feel and see if he is willing to talk. 

As you say you are separated, have either of you started divorce proceedings? In the UK, a good course of action is to consider relationship counselling with a professional organisation such as Relate, or mediation via your solicitors if things have gone that far. 

You don’t say whether you have children, but if you do their happiness and security should come first. 

Whatever your situation, you have taken the first step of being honest about how you feel. 

Talk to your husband and see if there is a way forward - but be aware that the best outcome you may reach is friendship, rather than a rekindling of your original relationship. 

If either of you were unfaithful, then the affair needs to be over and the extra person out of the picture completely if you are to give your relationship another shot.

Q: My boyfriend wants a break from our relationship, I am trying hard to be respectful of his space. What are things I can do to lessen my anxiety? 

We have been fighting more and he is starting to feel depressive. He agreed to take a break instead of break up. It left me anxious, I’m trying to control the want to call/text/go see him. It is getting really hard, the chest pain is worsening and the panic attacks more frequent.

A: Your health comes first. Please see a doctor and explain about your panic attacks and the chest pains. 

Do you have any friends and family you can talk to for support? 

This relationship does not sound very healthy and when we say we are “trying to be respectful of someone’s space”, often it means we are letting them do exactly what they want to hold on to them. 

If your boyfriend suffers from depression then he should seek help too, but it is unfair to blame you for it. 

You don’t say what you have been fighting about but your relationship sounds as if it is a co-dependent one - with each of you supporting the other in really unhealthy ways of relating and behaving. 

That’s no way to live. 

I understand the urge to call and text and sit outside his house but these behaviours are more likely to drive him away. 

The only way to make someone miss us is not to be there. 

And it’s only by staying away for a while that you will give him a chance to decide whether he wants to be in a relationship with you. 

But why are you happy for him to have things all his way? 

Rather than obsess and panic, try to build your self confidence and self worth. You really DON’T need to chase after a man who shows no sign of wanting you. 

You are worth more than that. 

And because you are worth more than that, you don’t need to panic. 

It’s time to get angry and strong. 

Get yourself checked out by your doctor, read some self help books or some biographies of strong women and go and enjoy yourself for a bit. 

Then, if your boyfriend does want to come back you will be in a much better place to handle the relationship - and indeed to decide whether you want HIM back.

How would you have responded to these questions? You can find more advice on my problem page.

All materials included in this post are intended for informational purposes only. This post/information is not intended to and should not be used to replace medical or psychiatric advice offered by physicians or other health care providers. The author will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages arising therefrom.

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Getting Your Kids Ready For University: Here's How You Can Help

Now that all the kids are back at school, university students will be going back to their studies within the next month or so. Do you have a child who is going off to uni for the very first time? They might be quite apprehensive about the whole thing.

www.pixabay.com

One thing is for sure, though; they will certainly be extremely excited! If they aren’t all prepared for moving to university, it is probably time that you gave them a helping hand. Not sure how you can help? Here are my top tips.

Explain How To Budget

It is extremely important that your child knows how to budget properly once they go off to university. It could be their first time being completely independent of you. And without anyone to help them with their money, they could end up blowing it far too quickly! So it will certainly pay off if you sit down with them and talk to them about the importance of budgeting. Make sure that they reserve enough money for rent each month. And they should think about how much they need for food, and set this aside. Explain that they now need to be sensible with their money. Otherwise, they might not have enough to last them until their student loan is paid into their bank account!

Teach Them To Cook

There is one way to make sure your child doesn’t survive off expensive and unhealthy takeaways at university. Offer them cooking lessons! If your child already helps out in the kitchen, then you might not have to spend too long teaching them some important tips. However, if you child doesn’t cook much, you may have to spend some time ensuring that they know the basics. Make sure that they know which basic ingredients they should always have in their kitchens, and the simple meals they can cook with them. Why not get them a student cookbook as a leaving gift?

Help Them Move

If your child is going to a university quite far away from home, it is a nice idea to help them move. After all, they may not be able to take their car to uni for the first year while they are in halls. You can pack up most of their belongings into your car. For any bulky items, think about using a special courier service such as shiply. If the drive is going to be a long one, you could spend the night over somewhere. Enjoy some final time together before they enter the big world of university!

Chat To Them

If your child is nervous about university, it could help to have a quick chat to them about how they are feeling. This can help to settle their nerves. It could also help to explain about your own experiences at university. They might be working themselves up about little things such as the laundry. Be sure to talk to them well in advance so that they don’t get too worried and anxious.

Hopefully, you will be able to give them plenty of support in the run up to uni!

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New Releases, Free & Bargain Books Link-up Week 37

How are you all this week?  We're back in the old routine now and, to cheer ourselves up, we're planning our next summer holiday.  I can't believe it's over again already, can you?

Luckily I can lose myself in a good book or two.  I've just finished the fabulous Late For Fate by Lori M. Jones (and there's a lovely little giveaway too).

If you enjoy romantic thrillers, I recommend this one.

I'd love to know what you're reading. Feel free to pop a comment below.

As ever, there are some great books to choose from on this week's linky.

Sharing the Love of Books
Enjoy our selection of New Releases / Free & Bargain Books this week

Authors please feel free to add your own books
Readers please free to add your own finds
(any genre except erotica welcome)

This weekly link up is hosted by Beck Valley Books & these awesome book loving blogs...
Monday
 Life as Leels | IrishdaisylovesRomance | Book Babble | All Romance Reader
Tuesday
It's My Side of Life | Celticlady's Reviews | First Time Mommy Adventures 
Wednesday
Beck Valley Books | Cinnamon Hollow Reviews
Thursday
Miki's Hope | Nicki's Nook
Friday
Ebook Addicts | I Love Romance | Mother Distracted | Colorimetry | The Ultimate Fan Blog
Saturday
Totally Addicted to Reading | 3 Partners in Shopping | Angie's Angle | I Create Purty Thangs | Wishful Endings
Sunday
Lynchburg Mama | LibriAmoriMiei | Ali - The Dragon Slayer | Wondermom Wannabe | Deal Sharing Aunt | Rambling Reviews 

For Pre-orders post - PRE-ORDER / genre / title /author

For New Releases post - NEW / genre / title / author

For Free Books post - FREE / genre / title / author / end date 

For Bargain Books post - SALE / price / genre / title / author / end date
(Strictly no Erotica please.  Steamy romance is fine but watch those covers people, incase any underage child is viewing it!)

Click here for this weeks awesome selection!

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The Benefits of Martial Arts Pack A Punch For Kids

Readers of this blog will know that Ieuan loves Tae Kwon Do and in just over one year has progressed to Yellow Stripe with another grading in October. He is lucky to have a fabulous teacher, Mr Joseph Schembri, 4th Dan Black Belt.

Ieuan

He is learning discipline, patience and how to channel his energy - particularly useful skills for young children! So it's not surprising to read that 85% of the membership of The National Association of Karate and Martial Art Schools (NAKMAS) is children. The Association has over 65,000 members in the UK so that is quite a substantial figure!

NAKMAS has joined forced with the Martial Arts Illustrated (MAI) magazine to encourage new youngsters to join their local martial arts clubs and have produced a four-page editorial piece in the special edition ‘Grassroots’ October issue (published this week) outlining the benefits of martial arts for children, as well as skills which are essential and reasons that current and former young students took up martial arts.

In the video below, Chair of NAKMAS, Joe Ellis, explains the thinking behind this collaboration to encourage grassroots participation.

"There are a whole range of benefits for children participating in martial arts classes. Not only do they encourage an increase general fitness, strength and flexibility levels, they can provide discipline, focus, respectful attitude and behaviour, leadership skills and stress relief to name a few.

Of course their key purpose is known to give them the confidence and skills to defend themselves if absolutely necessary, but martial arts give a young student so much more than that. Many clubs focus children’s classes primarily on enjoyment.

Children are more likely to respond to learning which has a fun element, while a serious message is being taught. There are clubs suitable for everyone; so it is always worth checking out a few to get the right one for a child’s needs."




NAKMAS is particularly concerned that students of all abilities, regardless of any special physical, emotional, social or other needs, be given the opportunity to try a martial art.

NAKMAS Director of Operations, specialist in autism education and author of Autism and Martial Arts: A Guide for Children, Parents and Teachers (ISBN: 978-0-9933142-0-9), Dr Sandra Beale-Ellis, said ‘it is heart-warming to see children and adults with low confidence for any number of reasons, train for years and eventually become confident, self-assured black belts’.

I would also add that martial arts also incredibly valuable for teens and young adults so that they can protect themselves in the unfortunate event of a physical attack.  My niece, Emily, is a 2nd Dan Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do as well as being a talented film maker and you may like to view her short film on the subject HERE. My nephew Lloyd is also a Black Belt and his sister Georgia a Black-Stripe Belt.  Needless to say I don't pick a fight with any of them!

If you would like to find out more about Martial Arts Illustrated (MAI), NAKMAS, or any of the projects mentioned, you can check out http://www.maionline.co.uk (MAI) and http://www.nakmas.org.uk/about (NAKMAS).

If you live in South Wales, you can find more information about the Joseph Schembri Schools of Tae Kwo Do here.

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Beck Valley Book Tour: Late For Fate by Lori M. Jones & A Giveaway

D.C. paralegal Jezebel Stone's tardiness often gets her in trouble, but this time it leads to meeting her dream man. Her choice of metro seats places her on track for finding love again. But when their ride ends in a fiery crash, their separation sends her on a mission of reuniting with him and finishing their fateful trip.

But instead, it entangles Jezebel in the twisted lives of those determined to destroy each other. This prickly path also holds the potential of leading Jezebel to an unlikely place of joy. Finding joy seems impossible when life is literally exploding all around her.

LATE FOR FATE won Best First Chapter from WRITERS' TYPE

Available to buy from...

Amazon.com   Amazon.co.uk

"Jones is a gifted author with a talent for sharp, fast-paced prose that keeps the pages turning. Late for Fate moves at a thrilling pace. It's studded with sharp-edged, witty dialogue and quirky characters that stuck with me long after reading. Jones' knack for creating stories that feel familiar but are unique in voice and plot make every read (including Late for Fate!) a great one." 

 ~Kathleen Shoop, best-selling author of the Letter Series and After the Fog 

"Ms. Jones has perfectly captured how one moment in time can change a life for both good and bad. Excellent story with well written characters and a terrific (sometimes terrifying) theme. A great read. Highly recommended." - Amazon Review

"Lori has shown an extremely deft touch. I enjoyed the entire reading experience in second attempt at authoring. I enjoyed the characters, the quick pacing, the brushes with fate, the witty banter and the slick manner in which Lori handles the alternating points of view."

-  James J. Robinson,Jr.

"Scene-stealing Nicole had me laughing out loud. From the opener, I was hooked." 

-  Carolyn Menke 

My Review 

Late For Fate takes a simple premise - is destiny behind the choices we make? - and explores it in a highly enjoyable, suspense thriller.  The story, of paralegal Jez's near brush with death on the Washington Metro and her romance with the man who survives alongside her develops deftly into a tale of love and revenge with Jones' feisty female lead being carried along without a clue that she is a pawn in a game she knows nothing about.

The reader finds themselves wanting Jezebel to wake up and take control of her own destiny before her heart is broken.

There are plenty of strong characters and even some political intrigue - certainly enough to keep fans of many of the US TV dramas happy.  Dodgy wannabe senators and drama queens rub shoulders with some memorable co-workers and then there's the handsome but rogueish Kirk.....

Highly recommended.

About the Author

Lori M. Jones is an award-winning author of women's & children's fiction. Her first children's book, RILEY'S HEART MACHINE, was released in 2012 through Guardian Angel Publishing and her second children's book, CONFETTI THE CROC, in 2014. Her debut novel, RENAISSANCE OF THE HEART, was released by Soul Mate Publishing in 2014 and recently was awarded the SILVER medal by READERS' FAVORITES in women's fiction. Her second novel, LATE FOR FATE, is forthcoming June 1st through Wild Rose Press.


Lori is a mother of two young daughters. Her youngest daughter's heart defect was the inspiration behind Riley's Heart Machine. Lori is currently on the national Board of Directors for the Children's Heart Foundation and the president of Pennsylvania Chapter. She was awarded the Community Quarterback Award by the Philadelphia Eagles for her work with the Children's Heart Foundation. Lori travels to schools and libraries delivering assemblies on writing stories from the heart. She is also on the writing team at North Way Christian Community Church. When Lori is not writing or spreading awareness for Congenital Heart Defects, she can be found cheering on her beloved Pittsburgh sports teams and participating in 5Ks.

Lori holds a bachelor's degree in communication and journalism from the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown and a paralegal certificate from Duquesne University. She is a former Washington D.C. paralegal and now resides in her hometown of Pittsburgh with her family.

Find the author on the following sites...

Website   Blog   Facebook   Twitter   Goodreads   Amazon Author Page

I received this book to review through Beck Valley Books Book Tours, all the opinions above are 100% my own.

NOW FOR THE AUTHOR'S GIVEAWAY

Win a $20 Amazon.com Giftcard or Paypal Cash
(winners choice)
Open Worldwide

Ending on Sunday 25th September at 11.59pm EST

Enter Below and Good Luck !!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Win 10 Classic DVDs From Warner Bros' Iconic Moments Film Collection

Now that the nights are drawing in, there's nothing better than snuggling up with the family on the sofa and watching an iconic movie that everyone will enjoy.

To help you do just that,  I have a fabulous prize from Warner Bros. UK to help you spend some cosy evenings in front of the TV.

This September, Warner Bros. UK have launched their Iconic Moments Collection, a beautifully matching packaged set of 22 standout titles celebrating the breadth of their catalogue.

Each of the releases has fantastic new artwork built around one of the most memorable lines from the film.

Simply enter via the Rafflecopter below for the chance to win this fabulous bundle!

*Empire of The Sun
*Cool Hand Luke
*The Goonies
*Gremlins
*The Wizard of Oz
*Charlie and The Chocolate Factory
*North by Northwest
*Gone With The Wind
*Robin Hood Prince of Thieves
*Casblanca

There's something for everyone in that list and since this month we are celebrating the 100 years anniversary of the birth of iconic children's author Roald Dahl, it will be great to get the kids watching the best version of Charlie & The Chocolate Factory.

The giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on  Friday 30th September and is open to UK entrants only.


a Rafflecopter giveaway
In addition to the terms and conditions on my competitions page, please note the promoter's terms and conditions for this giveaway.

Terms & Conditions

Open to UK participants only

1 (one) winner will receive (one) of the following: Empire of The Sun, Cool Hand Luke, The Goonies, Gremlins, The Wizard of Oz, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, North by Northwest, Gone With The Wind, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves and Casblanca.

The prize will be delivered to the winner within 28 days of confirmation of delivery address

There is no cash alternative to Prizes which are subject to availability, non-transferable, non-negotiable and non-refundable.

Prizes may not be sold, offered for sale or used in connection with any other competition or promotion by the Prize winner

The promoter of this competition is Fetch Dynamic Ltd

Good luck!

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Celebrating Roald Dahl Day

Today is the 100 year anniversary of the birth of beloved children's author Roald Dahl and it is Roald Dahl Day in his honour. We have a special fondness for him here in Cardiff, of course, as it is his birthplace (Llandaff).

Ieuan as Willy Wonka

Our local schools are celebrating by allowing the kids to go as their favourite Dahl character and even the staff are getting into the act.

"If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." - Roald Dahl

So which Roald Dahl character would you be?

Willy Wonka - Charlie & The Chocolate Factory
Miss Trunchbull - Matilda
The BFG - The Big Friendly Giant
The Twits
Mr Fox - Fantastic Mr Fox?

Caitlin as Matilda

“Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog.” - Matilda

For me, the outright winners are the Oompa Loompas and possibly Mike TV, a great warning to our screen-obsessed kids that there are consequences to too much TV watching.

“So please, oh please, we beg, we pray Go throw your TV set away And in its place you can install A lovely bookshelf on the wall…” - The Oompa Loompas

A sentiment which should surely be echoed around all our schools today.

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My Sunday Photo - Penarth - 11/09/2016

We are so lucky to live where we do, in Dinas Powys, just outside Cardiff.  We are never far from the countryside or the sea and a quick car ride takes us away, both physically and mentally from the stresses of the week.

Yesterday it was such a beautiful evening that, rather than waste the entire day on ballet and shopping, we went to Penarth for a wander on the beach then fish and chips and ice cream at the little cafe next to the pier.

I can heartily recommend the Lemon Meringue Ice Cream.

We found plenty of shells but little of Caitlin's current passion, sea glass.  There are bags of shells all over the house now and we need to decide what we're going to do with them!

Still, despite only finding one or two tiny pieces of green glass, a double ice cream made up for any disappointment.

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Feeling Too Mumsy? Fashion Tips For Mums

It’s quite common for ladies who have had babies to begin feeling ‘mumsy’ after a while. In some cases, they feel out of touch with themselves. They forget who they were before they had a baby! They also want to wear clothes that keep them as comfortable as possible, and this sometimes mean sacrificing style. You don’t need to worry about this anymore. These fashion tips for mums will help you!

Image Credit

Invest In Some Awesome Shapewear

If you’re self conscious of your body after having a baby, invest in some awesome shapewear. You can wear this under anything, from your going out dresses to your casual wear. If you really invest in a good brand, it should be comfortable enough to wear whenever you like. It’ll smooth you out in the right places and help you to feel more confident. When you look for things like Debenhams offers and coupons, you don’t have to spend a fortune.

Define Your Personality And Buy To Suit It

If you want to get your style back and stop dressing like a ‘mum’, define your personality. Maybe your personality has changed a little from when you were younger. That’s fine! Just work out what it is. Are you a bubbly lady with a love of pink and cute animals? Then buy a pink jumper with a bunny on it. Obviously that won’t be everybody’s ‘thing’, but you’ll be much happier when you wear clothes that suit your personality.

Consider Your Lifestyle

Not only do you need to consider your personality, but your lifestyle too. If you spend most of your time out of the house, then you’ll want durable clothing that will keep you comfortable. If you’re in the house a lot, it doesn’t make sense buying a ton of pretty dresses!

Know Your Body Shape

If you want to feel your best, knowing your body shape and dressing for it can make you feel amazing. You could show off more of your waist with dresses that flatter your figure, for example. There are plenty of guides on this online. However, you should know that if you like something, you should wear it! There are no strict rules, and you should feel free to wear anything that calls to you.

Black Always Wins 

Black clothing can look great, but you need to make sure you’re doing it right. It can hide a multitude of stains, flatter, and be perfect for mums. Just make sure you include different textures, to stop the outfit looking drab. Making sure you balance it with your fit can help too.

Use Accessories To Finish Your Look

Don’t forget accessories to finish your look. A waist belt, watch, or statement ring could make all the difference. Even the most boring of items can be dressed up with the right hardware!

Don’t lose who you are just because you’re a mum. Celebrate your style and personality and you’ll feel great every day! Do you have tips you like to use when dressing? Leave a comment!

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Relationship Dilemmas - What Was I Asked In Week 36?

After a refreshing summer break, Relationship Dilemmas is back. As usual, the questions I am asked can be about any aspect of relationships, and sometimes parenting and health.

If you would like any advice, feel free to message me or pop a comment in the comment box at the end of this post. I promise to be gentle.

Here's just some of the questions I've been asked this week.

Q: How honest should I be with my kids about their father’s drinking?

I feel like a traitor to my husband when I lie for him and a traitor to my children when I don't, when the children ask me about his drinking and other behaviors that concern them. What is right? They are 17 and 21 and still living at home. I am so confused. I don’t know how to handle this.

A: Your kids are old enough to hear the truth but it depends how you tell them. 

If you are saying their father is an alcoholic then you need to tell them that he is ill - because he is. 

If your husband is a heavy drinker and his drinking is starting to impinge on your daily life together then he needs to be encouraged to seek help (easier said than done I know). 

If he is an occasional drinker and comes back drunk from time to time, then that, despite being annoying, is quite a frequent occurrence in many homes. Your husband may need help. 

By keeping quiet you are just letting the problem continue and, over time, it will get worse. 

I understand that you want to protect your kids but they are young adults now and probably well aware that their dad has a problem - even if they aren’t sure exactly what it is. But you also need to make sure that your attitude to alcohol isn’t colouring their perceptions too. 

If, as I mentioned, your husband only gets occasionally drunk, then many people would not class that as problem drinking. 

Only you know whether your husband has a real problem with booze or not but addressing the issue as a family may help your husband as well as your kids.

Q: Why would a significant other choose to lie to their partner? Especially if the question has nothing to do with cheating? 

I’m married to someone and, over the years, I’ve noticed that their answers to questions seem a little off. I’ve even got into the habit of asking questions that I know the answers to, and most of the time, they miss their opportunity to not only be honest, but to build trust and connect with me.

A: Why do you put up with such awful behaviour? 

Never mind missing the opportunity to ‘be real’, how about treating you with a bit of respect? 

It may be your partner is bored and lies for a bit of excitement. It may be that they are a habitual liar - in which case I would suggest that little lies lead to even bigger ones. 

The reason why is not the issue here. 

The issue is that you know they are a liar and you are not calling them out on it. 

At best it’s extremely childish and at worst you need to question their behaviour on a wider scale. 

You say that the lying is nothing to do with cheating but even if that is the case, it’s time for them to grow up and start treating you with respect. I certainly wouldn’t put up with it. 

Q: Do girls like sensitive and emotional boys?

A: Why wouldn’t they? 

I don’t think that stereotyping boys as “hard, macho, tough,” for example rather than “sensitive, emotion, soft” is very helpful these days. 

Most of us are a mix of both sensitive and insensitive traits - it depends on the situation. 

Some will cry at wildlife programmes, some won’t. It’s often arbitrary and random. I’m not quite sure what you are asking. 

Are you asking if it is OK for girls to like sensitive and emotional boys? In which case, if he makes you happy who cares what others think. 

The key question is whether you get on OK and whether you find the ‘emotional behaviour’ acceptable or a bit grating. 

There is no ‘checklist’ you know. You just have to find someone who makes you happy. 

Q: How do you get over someone you never had?

I first started to have feelings for this guy in junior high. He was my senior and was a cute popular kid with so many fans. I wasn't one of the popular kids nor am I pretty so I didn't think I stood a chance. We never really talked. For years I'm not even sure he knew I existed. But as it turned out, he did.

When I met him 2 years ago at a school reunion, he asked me some basic and polite questions such as how am I doing or what I've been up to .That's the only conversation I've ever had with him. To begin with I thought it was just a crush. But here I am, 10 years later, unable to stop thinking about him. And no, he's never been a jerk to me, never acted rude, taken advantage of me or given me false hope. And if the story isn't pathetic enough, I've just found out that he's seeing an old school friend and they're about to get engaged.

How do I get over this feeling? How do I get over someone I never had? How do I get over this heartbreak, this misplaced feeling of something that never belong to me?

A: It sounds as if you have build up a little romantic movie which you play in your head every time you hear his name. 

He has come to represent your perfect man when, in reality, he might be a complete sleazeball with all the personality of cheese. Nobody is that perfect. 

You have to be strong and say to yourself “no, I’m not going to replay that old movie” and focus on the future and the men around you. 

Isn’t there someone who makes your fantasy man look less attractive? 

It’s also very easy to avoid going out and rejection by living in your fantasy world. 

You are safe, cocooned but, if you are honest with yourself, a little bit lonely. 

Don’t be lonely. There’s no need. 

It is nothing to do with looks; it’s to do with being a kind, caring human being who is interested in others - as they really are - not as you dream them to be. 

Time to leave your ivory tower and let Prince Charming canter off into the sunset. He was probably a rubbish dancer anyway.

Q: Should I tell my parents about my boyfriend's past?

We’ve been dating for over 2 years now. He's told me about his past. In his high school, he was a weed smoker and he also had sex with several women. But now, he’s completely changed. We've commited to never having sex before marriage. I've only told my parents he used to be a very bad student and a thug.

A: This all sounds a bit too good to be true and as a parent, I’d be naturally highly suspicious about this change to whiter-than-white behaviour. 

He may well have changed but lots of women subscribe to the “my love is so powerful it will change him” fantasy. 

I think you don’t need to say any more to your parents but it sounds like you really want to discuss this with them for their advice and counsel. 

This leads me to suspect you’re not all that sure that he has really changed. 

Everyone deserves a second chance, it’s true. You need to make sure that you aren’t having the wool pulled over your eyes. 

I bet you know that if you talk to your mum and dad about this they’ll tell you to get rid of him. To be frank, I think you should talk to them anyway. 

Talking about smoking weed really polarises people. Some are OK with it. Personally, I think it’s a short route to taking something harder. That is of greater concern to me than the sex but you’ll find others say this is nothing to worry about. 

You have to make that decision. And I think you’ll find it easier with your parents’ help. 

Q: Why did this girl call me a pervert for just asking a question?

The other day I asked a girl I know why girls wear spandex shorts under their skirts and dresses and she said “pervert stop looking up girls skirts and dresses” then walked off. She also told other girls I was a pervert who looked up girls skirts and dresses.

A: Well have you been? If you have then the girl is right to feel that your behaviour is a little inappropriate - or at least openly admitting it is. 

If on the other hand, you have just read or heard about spandex and were asking an innocent question, this is a huge over-reaction from her and it was very immature to tell the other girls this. 

Next time ask someone you can trust if you’re curious - like your mum or sister. 

Asking women about their underwear is not the wisest conversation starter in any situation. 

The actual answer to your question is that spandex shorts suck in any wobbly bits and give a smooth line under tight fitting clothing. It’s considered a no-no by some to be able to see your knicker line through your clothing. 

I’d just ignore this girl and the furore will die down soon enough when she finds something else to be outraged about.

Q: How can I make sure my network admin is not monitoring me?

A: I’m not sure you can and, in any case, what are you doing that you want to keep hidden from them? 

It is not clear from your question but I’m assuming you are talking about computers and a work situation. 

There are many sophisticated programs used by employers these days to monitor their employees use of inappropriate websites (porn, gambling etc) and social media sites can also be blocked, as can games. 

If you are using these then you risk disciplinary action and possibly the loss of your job. 

If you are saying that you are being picked on and your work is being monitored closely then you need to talk to HR about your worries and to find out what is going on. 

Q: What does he mean by telling me that he is like my brother?

My best friend who I have feelings for is a far friend of my brother who died 5 years ago. He used to send signals but became cold so I tried to move on with my life.  But last year he came back and is doing everything he can to gain my attention and trust - but he always says he is like my brother - why?

A: Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been enormously difficult for you and I can understand why you have become so attached to someone who has a link to your brother via a mutual friend. 

There are two possible reasons why this guy is telling you he is like a brother. 

Either he wishes you to rely on him the way you did your brother and he wants to be a part of your life 

Or he is gently trying to tell you that while he is fond of you, there is no romantic spark there. 

It sounds like he is rather confused himself and is unclear whether he wants a romantic relationship. 

The fact that he went cold suggests he does not but because he showed you lots of attention afterwards, he may just want to keep you as a friend. 

My advice would be to worry a little less about this guy and concentrate on finding someone else who clearly wants to be with you. 

If you date other guys or express an interest in them, it may also prompt this guy to make his mind up. 

I know there is a slight link to your brother with this guy but you deserve to be happy and if this guy can’t offer anything other than friendship, it may be time to move on.

How would you have responded to these questions? I'd love to know. You can find more advice on my problem page.

All materials included in this post are intended for informational purposes only. This post/information is not intended to and should not be used to replace medical or psychiatric advice offered by physicians or other health care providers. The author will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages arising therefrom.

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New Releases, Free & Bargain Books Link-up Week 36

How are you all this week?  Caitlin and Ieuan are both safely ensconced back in school and it's back to the old after school routine too - ballet, swimming and Tae-Kwondo.

Luckily I can fill my waiting time with a good book or two.  There seems to be an awful lot of waiting, doesn't there? At the moment I'm reading Late For Fate by Lori M. Jones and you can read my review later on this month.

I'd love to know what you're reading. Feel free to pop a comment below.

As ever, there are some great books to choose from on this week's linky.

Sharing the Love of Books
Enjoy our selection of New Releases / Free & Bargain Books this week

Authors please feel free to add your own books
Readers please free to add your own finds
(any genre except erotica welcome)

This weekly link up is hosted by Beck Valley Books & these awesome book loving blogs...
Monday
 Life as Leels | IrishdaisylovesRomance | Book Babble | All Romance Reader
Tuesday
It's My Side of Life | Celticlady's Reviews | First Time Mommy Adventures 
Wednesday
Beck Valley Books | Cinnamon Hollow Reviews
Thursday
Miki's Hope | Nicki's Nook
Friday
Ebook Addicts | I Love Romance | Mother Distracted | Colorimetry | The Ultimate Fan Blog
Saturday
Totally Addicted to Reading | 3 Partners in Shopping | Angie's Angle | I Create Purty Thangs | Wishful Endings
Sunday
Lynchburg Mama | LibriAmoriMiei | Ali - The Dragon Slayer | Wondermom Wannabe | Deal Sharing Aunt | Rambling Reviews 

For Pre-orders post - PRE-ORDER / genre / title /author

For New Releases post - NEW / genre / title / author

For Free Books post - FREE / genre / title / author / end date 

For Bargain Books post - SALE / price / genre / title / author / end date
(Strictly no Erotica please.  Steamy romance is fine but watch those covers people, incase any underage child is viewing it!)

Click here for this weeks awesome selection!

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10 Quick Tips For Saving Money On Your Energy Bills This Autumn

After the mortgage, our utility bills are one of the biggest chunks of our monthly expenditure.

Many of us, of course, know that we should be shopping around for a better deal but, if you're anything like me, you suspect that any rises or falls in utility costs will eventually spread to all the other utility providers and even out over the long term and you find the thought of switching provider is just too much of a hassle.

But since Which suggest you could save up to £369 by switching your energy provider, it may be well worth while making the change.

In the meantime, there are lots of ways we can reduce our existing utility bills by making a few practical adjustments.

Here are some quick tips:-

*  Turn down your thermostat.  The Energy Saving Trust say you can save around £90 just by turning your thermostat down 1 degree.  Sweaters and hot water bottles can be your new best friends.

* Try a smart thermostat.  That way you can control your heating via the internet and could switch it on in time for your return from work, rather than keeping it on all day.  Have a look at Nest or Hive.

*Make sure the dishwasher is full before you switch it on or, if you hand-wash, use a bowl to wash up rather than a running tap and save £30 a year in energy bills.

* Fill the kettle with the amount of water that you need and save around £7 a year.

* Reduce your washing machine use by just load per week and save £5 a year on energy, and a further £8 a year on metered water bills.

*Check your windows for draughts. You can buy draught-proofing strips to stick around the window frames which are cheap, and easy to install, although they may not be a long term solution.You can get metal or plastic strips with brushes or wipers attached which are long-lasting, but cost a little more. For windows that don't open, use a silicone sealant.

*You can also prevent heat loss by using thermal / black-out linings on your curtains (great at helping the kids to sleep too) or by fitting blinds from the company VELUX which have a special heat blocking aluminium coating on the back to retain heat in the room in winter and reflect solar heat in summer.

*Similarly, check your doors for draughts too.  Keep doors closed to stop cold air from moving into the rest of the house and if there is a gap at the bottom of the door, use a draught excluder.  You can make your own with some spare material or even a stuffed pair of tights.

*Draught-proof your front door by

 -getting a keyhole cover (a metal disc that drops over the keyhole)
- fitting your letterbox with a flap or brush
- blocking any gap at the bottom with a brush or hinged flap draught excluder.

*Don't leave all your gadgets on standby.  Switch them off to save £££s.

For more great ideas on how to save money on your utilities, go to www.energysavingtrust.org.uk

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The Smartphone Survey 2016 - Sex & Romance At The Touch Of A Button?

In my relationship dilemma columns there is one method of communication which seems to cause more hang-ups, misunderstandings and problems than any other - yes, you've guessed it - texting.

So it's not surprising to read that, according to a survey, commissioned by gadget insurance website Row.co.uk, over 700,000 Brits believe their addiction to their mobile phone has got in the way of their sex life. (And not just because at some point you do have to actually put your phone down).

On the other hand, a larger number say it has helped them. Far easier to hide behind a phone screen than face outright rejection, isn't it?

There are over 40 million smartphone owners in the United Kingdom and these devices are certainly having an impact on our day to day lives, including our romantic pursuits.

New figures suggest that 3 in 20 Brits admit to using their mobile phone to secretly flirt with other people while in a committed relationship.

No wonder so many of us have trust issues! The same research shows that 28% of us regularly read our partner’s texts and snoop through their email inbox.

We don’t just use our mobile phones to be unfaithful; 39% of us use our smartphones to start new relationships by asking people out via text or an app like Tinder. 13.5% then use our phones while out on a date. How rude and a great way to guarantee you'll never get a repeat date.

For 1 in 4 of us, text is our preferred method for ending a relationship. Technology also takes away the need for chivalry, apparently.

Worse still, 13% of us have missent a flirty message and 7% of us have sent a flirty photo of ourselves to the wrong person! Several survey respondents admitted sending revealing photos to their ex, while one claimed to have done so to a family member!

So go on, 'fess up.  Do you snoop through your partner's phone messages and texts?

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Brilliant Hacks For A Stress Free School Morning From belVita

It's not surprising to learn that over 40% of parents say back to school stress begins the week before the new term starts, threatening to send some of us over the edge!

And, as the new school term looms, a huge 80% admit to feeling stressed at the thought of having to get everyone back into the school routine after the holidays, with the dreaded morning school run amongst the most stressful things about parenthood, according to the nation’s mums and dads.

The study on parenthood stresses by belVita Breakfast Biscuits found that 5 of the 10 top parent pressure points start the moment we wake up, with 31% agreeing that getting the children ready and out of the door in time for school and settling back into the flow of the morning routine post-holiday, are key parenthood stress triggers.

And it's not just kids who bear the brunt of the ‘morning madness.’ Unfortunately for parents, 65% of mums and dads forego something to get the kids out of the front door like breakfast (36%) or end up fighting with their partner over who takes on the most in the morning (38%).

It can sometimes be a battle to get the kids to eat breakfast!

Parents don’t just feel the ‘back to school’ pressure at home…44% feel under pressure to appear to be stress-free and 'together' in front of the other parents at the school gate in the morning - with dads feeling the pressure more than mums (49% men versus 46% of women).

Dr Linda Papadopoulos, who has been working with belVita Breakfast to help advise parents, particularly in the morning where most of the pressure lies, says:

“The stress and challenges of parenting can feel overwhelming - especially when we feel under pressure to get a lot done in a short space of time- morning can be especially challenging and it’s key to develop a positive, convenient routine in the morning as it sets the rhythm for the day. And it's not just kids who bear the brunt of the ‘morning madness.’ Unfortunately for parents, 65% of mums and dads forego something to get the kids out of the front door like breakfast (36%) or end up fighting with their partner over who takes on the most in the morning (38%).

Parents don’t just feel the ‘back to school’ pressure at home…44% feel under pressure to appear to be stress-free and 'together' in front of the other parents at the school gate in the morning - with dads feeling the pressure more than mums (49% men versus 46% of women).

The research, focused on 2,000 parents, reveals that thanks to the frenetic morning routine, nearly a third (32%) forget to pack an important school item and a fifth (20%) drop the children off late for school.

1 in 10 parents even do something ridiculous before leaving the house, including sending the kids outside with socks on their hands instead of gloves or they walk at out the house in an item of nightwear!

When it’s ‘back to school time’, trying to get everything done and leaving the house on time is at its most pressurised so developing strategies that you give you and your family a sense of control is really important.”

Over a half (51%) of parents feel stress would be reduced if the kids just did what they were asked, whilst over a fifth (21%) of pray for a fairy god mother out of pure desperation!

However, others look for solutions to deal with the battle of the morning routine, with nearly a quarter (22%) wishing they tackled what was thrown at them with ease and 21% wishing to find cheats to help them out in the morning.

Here's a list of the top parenting stressors the researchers found:

*Keeping the house tidy and the chores up to date (38%)
*Getting the children ready and out of the door in time for school (31%)
*Getting back into a school/morning routine after the school holidays (31%)
*Getting children to do their homework/reading (27%)
*The bedtime routine (26%)
*Getting children to eat certain foods (26%)
*Getting children to clean their teeth (24%)
*Making sure my children are well behaved in public (23%)
*Getting children out of bed in the mornings (21%)
*Meal times (20%)
*The School run (19%)

“Parents don’t need to panic! There are ways we can relieve the morning madness, simple strategies like connecting with kids in the morning so they're more co-operative or preparing things from the night before can make a big difference to the morning mood of a family unit. Small changes and combining some short term quick wins and convenient cheats will pay off in the long term.”

belVita believe that a good morning can set you up for the day – and that means making sure neither you nor the kids miss out on a breakfast.and their breakfast biscuits are a tasty and convenient breakfast option.

And if you're looking for some great hacks to make your morning routine simpler, check out the video below.




All you can do is come up with a routine and stick to it come hell or high water in the hope that your kids will eventually do what they're asked automatically.

Either that, or just muddle through like the rest of us with coffee.  An awful lot of coffee. And I can confirm that belVita biscuits are great to dunk.

The belVita range includes belVita Breakfast Biscuits, belVita Breakfast Yogurt Crunch and Duo Crunch, belVita Breakfast Tops – three tasty breakfast biscuits with smooth topping, belVita Breakfast Soft Bakes and belVita Breakfast Crunchy – three tasty bigger breakfast biscuits - which we tried in Apricot.

A PR sample was received for the purposes of this post and very tasty it was too.

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New Mothers Need More Than Just Employment Protection

Women don’t just need employment protection whilst on maternity leave, they also need support to transition back into work, according to diversity consultancy, The Clear Company.

Time to return to work?

In light of recent reports from The Women and Equalities Committee and calls from MPs to address the discrimination pregnant women and new mothers face at work, The Clear Company has urged businesses to consider long term support for these individuals.

The diversity consultancy has outlined that while ensuring women can return to work after maternity leave is vital, providing them with the training and support they need to transition back into work is crucial to prevent them from feeling alienated from the rest of the workplace upon their return.

Kate Headley, Development Director at The Clear Consultancy, explains:

“While the numerous initiatives to encourage more women back to work after maternity leave are positive moves to address the issue, there are additional supplements that employers must consider in order to retain these individuals long term. Yes more females need protection at work in terms of being able to return to their job, but they also need support in making this transition.

Business owners need to remember that these individuals have gone through a time of incredible change and have been away from work for a lengthy period. Not only are they likely to consider the impact of working hours on their home life, but there’s also the potential that they will hit a few bumps in the road when they start back as they learn to juggle their new personal and professional lives.

“By providing greater support for women once they are back in employment, companies will really benefit from an engaged employee who feels valued and respected and is subsequently likely to have better productivity levels and be more loyal to the brand.

That’s not to say that huge amounts of money need to be invested in schemes – simple moves such as linking them up with other mothers or new parents in the business will give them a support group to turn to for advice.

If you still need convincing of the benefits of encouraging more women into work, a recent report from The Anita Borg Institute (The case for investing in women) found that Fortune 500 companies with at least three female directors saw an increase in return on invested capital by at least 66%, return on sales by 42%, and return on equity by at least 53%.”

I left work in 2007 to have Caitlin and have since worked from home but I can understand how daunting it is to return to full time employment, even more so after a lengthier gap than statutory maternity leave. Not only would you have to renew working relationships and make new contacts, but all your previous skills (particularly IT) will need to be refreshed.

Many returners suffer a huge crisis of confidence at returning, coupled with the guilt and sadness of leaving their children, even if it is for a few hours a day. And well-paid part time jobs, particularly in my previous sector, Legal Services, are few and far between, which is a huge consideration when thinking about childcare costs.

I know of many women whose salary is almost entirely swallowed up by childcare costs but they continue working for the social aspect and because they need to contribute and maintain their professional qualifications.

I think a lot more could be done to ease a new mum's -or a stay-at-home parent's - return to work but, in my view, childcare is the biggest issue which needs to be addressed before we even think about continuing our careers.

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