Mother Distracted

Friday, 10 June 2016

Relationship Dilemmas - What Was I Asked In Week 23?

I spend a lot of time responding to the questions I am asked about dating & relationships on Quora.com and I thought I'd share some of my answers with you in case you are going through anything similar.

I’m assuming because you just don’t ask him outright, that you are checking up on him.

Has he given you any reason not to trust him? If so, you need to talk to him to discuss your concerns and at least give him the opportunity to reassure you.

Being too needy or clingy for no reason is likely to drive him away.

Q. Do you consider it normal to talk to your partner daily, even if it's just a two minute "hello, how are you?" when you do not live together?

A: If not every day then certainly every other day. Are you sure your partner doesn’t feel you’re ringing him to check up on him? Blokes sometimes tend to think like that and resent it.

Also men don’t chat on the phone the way women do - for lots of them it’s just a functional piece of equipment whereas for us it can be an emotional lifeline!

It sound like your partner is perfectly content with the way things are and, if you can trust him and you are both happy together I wouldn’t rock the boat.

You could ask him to at least check in every other day but you’d need to find a way to do that without sounding like his mother.

Q: Why can't I get a girl?

I'm 24, I have a lot of friends, I hang out with lots of people as much as I can, I like to meet new people all the time, I'm going out to party almost every weekend. In fact I try to socialize as much as possible, I'm also not that bad looking, but somehow It just don't work with girls for me. It just that when I'm in public and see a girl I like I can't find a way to approach her and at least try to get her. I always become ashamed and just don't have "the balls" to do it. Sometimes it seems to me I can't even communicate with girls the right way. What might be wrong with me? Please I'm desperate.

A: And therein lies the problem Desperation is a real turn off. Why would a girl want to spend time with a guy who will have anyone?

You need to take a break from your quest to find the perfect woman and develop some interests to help boost your self confidence. Approaching girls in bars and restaurants is also a high risk strategy. You would be better off find a girl who shares a common interest or hobby and building a relationship based on mutual friendship and attraction.

I doubt there’s anything wrong with you at all - other than you are just trying too hard.

You might also try internet dating. I met and married my husband that way and you get to know a bit about a person before you meet them. I found it a much easier way of meeting people.

Q: I have two girlfriends. I have been dating one for 6 years and the other for 2 years and I don't know which one to stay with.

I acknowledge this is dreadful behaviour but I have been unable to break up with either of them. Now it's time to get married and I am in a fix. I really need a solution to this.

A: Why is it suddenly “time to get married”? And are you sure the first woman doesn’t know or at least suspect that the second one exists?

Are you planning to ask one of these women to marry you?

Given that you can’t commit to either I would suggest that neither is the right woman for you.

Otherwise I think the one you should choose is the one you couldn’t bear to be without - and if that’s both of them then you aren’t ready to make an exclusive commitment.

Q: What are some unique questions you could ask a girl you want to get to know and woo?

She's 20 in college for physical therapy if that helps and just like myself she's a Christian. I've asked her things like: what are some things you like to do for fun, what are some of your hobbies, what types of foods do you like, when is your birthday, what's your favorite type of music.....

A. I think you need to relax - otherwise you’re going to make her feel like she’s sitting an exam.

The answer is to find things you are both interested in - do you have any joint hobbies? Are there artists or authors you both love?

The questions you have listed are great starting points for deciding on an exciting date location - if she likes a particular band, surprise her with tickets for a gig. If she likes chinese food, take her to a chinese buffet.

Talk needs to be followed with action - and too many questions will make her feel like she is being interviewed.

Natural conversation is best and the key is to listen to what she says rather than worry about the next thing to ask her.

Q: What does it mean when she says she doesn't have feelings for me 'yet'?

I recently confessed to one of my best female friends that I had developed feelings for her as she had been undeniably extremely flirty and receptive to my flirting, so I thought I had a good chance. She said she hadn’t ever thought of us and that she didn’t those have feelings for me ‘yet’.

A: I think she just enjoys a bit of harmless flirting with out the complication of a relationship and it sounds like she is just happy to be friends.

I would express an interest in a few other women and see if that sparks any jealousy - that may focus her mind on whether there may be something between you romantically, but I wouldn’t pin your hopes on it.

Q: Do men really want a celebration when they marry or is it really just to keep the woman happy?

A: People show their love in different ways and it’s the same when it comes to weddings. Some men don’t want a fuss whilst others want to shout their love to the rooftops.

It depends on the man.

There’s no reason, by the way, that that celebration has to cost a fortune. It’s perfectly possible to have a beautiful romantic ceremony on a budget.

I’d also say that if a man is hesitating at the thought of a wedding, it’s not the idea of the celebration that’s putting him off - it’s the idea of getting married in the first place.

Q: I'm in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend is too insecure to send me pictures. Is it wrong to be mad or sad about it?

We've been dating for 7 months. I know a lot of his friends and his old ex so I know he’s real. That's not the problem here. I’ve got 2 pictures of my boyfriend from some friends but they’re really old. My boyfriend says he’s too insecure to send me a picture.

A: When you say you “know he’s real” - I am assuming you have actually met? If he doesn’t want to send nude pictures I don’t blame him. There are so many stories these days about revenge porn I’d be keeping my clothes on too. It’s too easy for inappropriate pictures to end up spread right across social media - something you should think about too.

Can’t you use Skype or Facetime? I’m sure he’d be happy to send you a head and shoulders shot (fully clothed).

The only other reason I can think of why he would object to sending you pictures if that he doesn’t want you to see who else might be in them.

Are you sure you really know him?

Q: I told a white lie to my girlfriend of 5 months and she dumped me when she found out about it. How do I win her back?

A: If her reaction was to dump you then it sounds like it certainly wasn’t a ‘white lie’. People usually understand that the purpose of a white lie is to save someone from upset, not cause it.

Whatever the reason, it sounds a pretty trivial one to end a relationship on and I suspect she’d just had enough anyway.

All you can do is apologise and offer to put things right (if you were in the wrong) but since you were only together for 5 months, I would think about finding someone new and making sure that, this time, you are completely honest.

Q: My boyfriend and I want to go on holiday together but his parents have strong religious views and we don't want them to find out. What would you do?

A: If your boyfriend is man enough to weather the inevitable storm when his parents find out, then it might be worth the risk but if they do find out, he’ll be in trouble and they certainly won’t be a fan of yours - hardly a good start if your relationship becomes more permanent.

It’s pretty disrespectful of him to go behind his parents back though.

You don’t sound very old - another reason to shelve a plan which is likely to get you both into trouble.

What will the reaction of YOUR parents be - or doesn’t that matter? I’d be more worried about that.

How would you have responded to these questions?

More dating advice on my problem page.

I don't know about you but I'm finding this weather too hot. I know, we're never satisfied are we? Plus I think I have a touch of hay fever and am feeling very sorry for myself.

A perfect excuse, mind you, for finding a cool spot and indulging in a bit of reading (and ideally a nice chilled glass of wine).

In reality, it's more likely to be snatching the odd ten minutes here and there whilst the kids wage war on one another whilst running round the garden shrieking like banshees.

Oh well. Best prepare ourselves for the approaching long school holiday I suppose!

Here are the fab books on offer this week.

For Pre-orders post - PRE-ORDER / genre / title /author

For New Releases post - NEW / genre / title / author

For Free Books post - FREE / genre / title / author / end date

For Bargain Books post - SALE / price / genre / title / author / end date
(Strictly no Erotica please. Steamy romance is fine but watch those covers people, incase any underage child is viewing it!)

Click HERE for this week's awesome selection.

And don't forget you can always add some of your own!

Premier Inn Search For Junior Hotel Inspectors By 13th June To Win Free Hotel Stays

Premier Inn is searching for five straight-talking youngsters to take on the role of Junior Hotel Inspector this summer.

The UK's best-loved hotel chain (according to Which? in 2015), the company is bravely asking children across the country to share their refreshingly honest opinions by applying for the title of Junior Hotel Inspector for a chance to join the Premier Inn review team.

Premier Inn has over 700 budget hotels and more than 60,000 rooms across the UK and Ireland.

All bedrooms feature en-suite bathrooms, a king-size Hypnos bed, TV with Freeview and free Wi-Fi.

A bar and restaurant is situated either on-site or next door to each hotel, offering a wide range of food choices for either breakfast (Full English please!) or a tasty dinner.

Premier Inn want to offer families the best experience during their stay and, with nine out of ten hotels achieving a TripAdvisor Certificate of Excellence from adults' reviews this year, it's now the turn of the kids to have their say too.

The Junior Hotel Inspector role will guarantee that the Premier Inn experience is enjoyed by all guests – no matter their age!

Children aged between five and 12 across the UK are being invited to apply for the role via the Premier Inn website – www.premierinn.com/juniorhotelinspectors – with an application process in place to find out why they would make a good inspector.

Caitlin & Ieuan would bring their own unique perspective to the UK Hotel Industry

Five junior inspectors and their parents will then be selected to spend the night at a Premier Inn hotel and use a specially-designed Junior Hotel Inspector's kit to deliver feedback on various elements of their stay. Inspection categories will include the dinner and breakfast menus, mattress bounce factor, staff friendliness and quality of hide and seek spots.

Each inspector's feedback will be consolidated and introduced into the Premier Inn review process to help improve its family offering.

With applications open until Monday 13th June 2016, parents and children can head to www.premierinn.com/juniorhotelinspectors to be in with the chance of being appointed to the new role. The newly selected inspectors will also win an additional two-night stay with their family at a UK hotel of their choice this summer.

A shortlist of applicants will then be requested to share a short video review of their home before the final five inspectors are selected.

The Premier Inn hotel review will then take place from Saturday 2nd – Sunday 3rd July 2016 – please ensure availability before applying – with the process captured through photography and video.

Children must be aged five – 12 and parental permission is required. Full terms and conditions can be found at www.premierinn.com/juniorhotelinspectors.

Reignite The Spark In Your Marriage With These Top Tips

If you feel like the spark and romance have disappeared from your marriage, you are not alone. Many couples, especially those who have been together a long time, experience this in their relationship. There are a number of reasons why this has occurred. From a lack of quality time together to no longer making an effort with one another. Not matter how long you’ve been married, your relationship with your partner should be fun and make you feel excited. Just because the spark has gone, doesn’t mean it has to remain that way. To bring some passion and romance back into your marriage, use the following advice.

Surprise each other

In the early stages of your relationship, it’s likely you made the effort to surprise each other regularly. Whether it was with flowers or tickets to a concert, these surprises made you both feel fantastic. This is why it is so important to bring them back into your marriage. They don’t have to be large, expensive or over the top. You could surprise them with their favourite meal or make them a playlist for the gym. You could also buy an item that they’ve had their eye on for a while. These tokens will be a wonderful way of showing your partner how much you still care and how well you know them. Plus it will then encourage them to reciprocate with their own surprises.

Start a couple’s hobby

Spending more time together is key in bringing the spark back. Starting a couple’s hobby that you can commit a few hours to each week is an excellent way of doing this. Choose a day where you both have the most free time, then brainstorm hobby ideas you might both enjoy. You could join a walking group or write a children’s book together. You could compile a list of films you’ve never seen and use this time to watch them. Having a hobby that you can work on together will help you communicate more effectively with each other too. You can use this time to get to know each other again and find out how your partner is feeling. This can only benefit your marriage.

Plan a short break together

Getting away from the responsibilities you have at home will give you both a chance to spend time together and recharge your batteries. So take some time to research potential holiday destinations and accommodation together. You might consider exclusive ski chalets in Meribel or prefer a beach hotel in Ibiza. Or you may want to stay closer to home in a quaint bed and breakfast. Use this opportunity to visit somewhere new that you can discover together where you don’t have to worry about the kids. Planning together will ensure you choose a location where there are activities you are both interested in. This will add excitement to the break and give you both something to look forward to.

Relationships require hard work to keep them from becoming stale. So make the effort and encourage your partner to do the same. It shouldn’t take long for your to return to the love-struck couple you once were.

*collaborative post

Michelin Star BBQ Cleaning Tips From Steve Smith @Bohemia Jersey

Michelin Star Chef Steve Smith at the Bohemia Restaurant in Jersey is on a mission to get us all barbecuing safely and cleanly. (You can find his tips on barbecuing food safely here.)

As it was such a beautiful day yesterday, we cranked up our barbecue, fondly known as "Deep Thought" (due to its resemblance to the Hitchhikers' Guide To The Galaxy Supercomputer when wearing its cover) and The Husband treated us to some lovely chicken kebabs.

I'm sure everyone has much the same conversation after using their barbecue. "Shall we clean it now?", "um, no let's wait for it to cool down"...... and then many many hours may pass.

This means, of course, that the next time you want to use it, you have to spend 45 minutes cleaning the darn thing first.

I don't need to remind you that it is important to clean your BBQ regularly to prevent food poisoning and to prolong the life of the BBQ, do I?

To make this joyous task a little easier, here are Steve's tips.

Preheat the Grill

Clean the grill just after preheating it, this way the grease and food will scrape off easily.

Grab an Onion

To remove all of the grit, place a half cut onion on the end of a fork and rub onto a hot grill.

Prevent rusting

Clean your grill with soapy water after cooking, then rinse and dry immediately and rub vegetable oil across the grill to prevent rust.

Don’t throw water

If you are using a charcoal grill, then do not throw cold water over the coals after cooking as this will create a mess!

Crack open a Beer

Pour half a bottle of beer over a heated BBQ then rub with newspaper for a clean grill. Then you enjoy the rest of the beer for yourself! (I'm assuming wearing protective gloves -for the cleaning not the beer drinking!)

Steve Smith - Head Chef @Bohemia, Jersey

Create a Paste

Mix baking soda and water to make a paste then cover the grill in it with a wire brush. Let it dry for 15 minutes then wipe the grill with a dry cloth and place it over the hot coals for 15 minutes to burn off any remains before cooking the food.

And, as ever, keep children and pets well away.

Have you any cleaning shortcuts you can share?

Bohemia Bar & Restaurant is the only restaurant in the Channel Islands to be listed in The Sunday Times Top 100 Restaurants. Visit www.bohemiajersey.com for more information.

Win Gorgeous Fair Trade Toys From The Sambhali Trust in Jodhpur, India

If you are looking for an ethically produced, beautifully made soft toy then I have just the thing for you.

Take a look at these gorgeous toys made by the women of The Sambhali Trust, in Jodhpur, India.

The Sambhali Trust is a non-profit charitable organisation based in Jodhpur, whose focus is the development and empowerment of women and girls in Rajasthan.

The Trust provides underprivileged Rajasthani women and girls with an education in English, Hindi and Maths, as well as training in vocational and social skills, to support them in developing confidence and self-esteem, and help them work towards financial independence.

Since 2007, they have been working with women and children from all communities in Jodhpur and the rural Thar desert area surrounding Setrawa, who experience discrimination on a daily basis because of their low status in class, caste and gender. These women are greatly suppressed due to the patriarchal nature of their society and have little or no access to education. They are denied the right to choose their husband and often face a high level of verbal, physical and sexual abuse within their family circle and community.

The Sambhali Boutique, located in the centre of Jodhpur, provides an outlet for the clothes, accessories and handicraft items produced by the women in our Sambhali Graduates’ Sewing Centre, where rigorous quality control procedures ensure that every item produced in the Sewing Centre is made to the highest standard.

Their merchandise includes a variety of Indian and Western-style garments, silk and cotton camels and elephants, block-printed scarves and curtains, a selection of shoulder bags, and many other items, each one handmade and unique in their own special way. As the Sambhali Trust is a non-profit organisation, so any profit accrued from the sales of items through the Boutique, after paying for raw materials, wages, and shop overheads, go directly back into the organisation supporting its many projects, helping to make the organisation self-sustainable.

Baloo The Bear - £10 each

You can buy these lovely Fairtrade toys from Postcardshome.co.uk, an online business selling quality home decor and gifts inspired by travel. Their team, based in North London, work with designers and illustrators across the world to breathe new life into traditional design aesthetics and methods and they love to promote products which take them back to their favourite places.

Wedding Horses - £15 each

Now to the giveaway.

I have one main prize of one of the Wedding Horses (above) and three runner up prizes of a Baloo The Bear. Both toys are 30 cm tall so they are sizeable toys.

Entry is via the Rafflecopter in the usual way. Terms and conditions apply and UK entrants only. The giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Friday 24th June 2016.

Please note: Sambhali toys are handmade and do not use any hazardous parts or materials. The dyes used are organic and Global Organic Textile Standard certified.

The Wedding Horse has detailing that is not safe for younger children to play with.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck.

My Sunday Photo - 05/06/2016

It's been an absolutely beautiful day today. So much so that The Husband cranked up "Deep Thought" our barbecue (so called because he resembles the supercomputer from The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy when he's got his cover on).

Tea outdoors - a rare phenomenon in Dinas Powys

Despite the fact that we had 40 minute battle to get Ieuan to ingest some vegetables on the rather yummy chicken and vegetable kebabs The Husband knocked up, we spent a lovely hour or so in relative peace and quiet with just birdsong for company.

Let's hope summer lasts a bit longer than a couple of days this year.

When Anti Ageing Products Just Don't Do It - Time For Non Surgical Cosmetic Treatments?

Beauty buffs everywhere are fully aware that the price of premium brand skin products can make your eyes water - not only in terms of the cost but, frequently, in terms of the claims made - few of which seem to be backed up with cast-iron proof in the form of quantifiable data. The survey sample sizes always seem to be ridiculously low, don't they? For example 90% of 30 women tested said our product made their skin glow!

As a marketer, I understand how market research works of course, but that doesn't stop me wanting MUCH bigger sample sizes to validate some of these claims.

Too much sun can play havoc with our skin in later life

Once you're over 50 and either approaching menopause or in the middle of its clutches, there comes a time when you look in the mirror and think "you know this cream / serum just isn't making any difference".

The last one I tried "Creme de la Mer" left me decidedly unimpressed. It's a really heavy, sticky cream that has to be warmed between your fingers before applying. I have found Astral or Nivea to be just as good for a fraction of the price.

Luckily I smoked only briefly in my twenties and was able to give up more or less instantly because I was so terrified of what it was doing to my body. I remember reading that for every cigarette you smoke you can knock approximately 5 minutes off your life - or something like that.

And I've never been a big sun worshipper because, being a natural redhead, I found I burned to a crisp very easily and couldn't stand the heat.

I think it's true that you can spot the face of someone who has indulged in too many ciggies and sun sessions because their face tells the tale. I was horrified to hear on Channel 5's recent programme - "Tantastic - Fifty Shades of Orange" that over 2000 people die of skin cancer in the UK each year alone.

Heavy smokers tend to sport those nostril to lip vertical liplines which I think are incredibly ageing and that's without the extra depth the habit gives to the wrinkles you develop anyway.

I do currently suffer from very dry skin and have some flaky patches around my mouth but I figure this is down to my age.

My one bad habit is a frequent glass of red wine and, as we know, alcohol can be incredibly dehydrating and bad for your skin.

I could certainly do with a freshening up and if I was brave enough to consider cosmetic surgery I would get my eyes done.

Today, though, there is a range of non-surgical treatments which offer the chance to improve your looks without the risks of surgery, and consequently at a more reasonable cost.

These treatments include:-

Anti-wrinkle injections

This is probably the best known and most popular non-surgical treatment, otherwise known as Botox®. It is a natural purified protein produced by Clostridium Botulinum Bacterium which reduces the activity of the muscles that cause lines to form over time. It works by temporarily reducing the contractions of those muscles that can cause permanent lines to create a smoothed, rejuvenated appearance.

Chemical Skin Peels

Surprisingly, skin peels have been in use for over 60 years for therapeutic skincare and dermatology because they are effective for a wide variety of conditions.

Today's peels, such as the NeoStrata®, are formulated with Alpha-hydroxyacids (AHAs), Polyhydroxy Acids (PHAs) and Bionic PHAs, which have been clinically proven to improve the visible signs of aging.

A chemical peel can help to reduce the visible signs of aging on more mature skin, reducing the appearance of fine lines, discolouration and blemishes to give the skin a fresher, more youthful look.

They can also be of great benefit for younger skins as they help to treat acne.

Two sets of lips - non surgical cosmetic treatments - motherdistracted.co.uk

We all want to keep the plump pout we had in our youth!

Dermal Fillers

Most of us have heard of Juvéderm®, which is a range of hyaluronic acid based, anti-ageing injectable products.

Hyaluronic acid has amazing, long-lasting hydration properties as it can absorb and retain more than 1,000 times its own weight in water. The makers of Juvéderm®, Allergan, have extended the range to include a selection of specialist formulations to suit different needs such as hydrating, filling and smoothing.

The original product, Juvéderm® ULTRA is a non surgical dermal filler used for filling fine lines and smoothing wrinkles, for a soft, natural look. It contains 0.3% Lidocaine, a local anaesthetic to make the injections as gentle as possible.

There is also Juvéderm® Ultra Smile, an injectable, hyaluronic acid filler which has been specifically formulated for the lips to provide plumpness and volume. It also works to smooth fine lines and enhance the mouth area as a whole. As the lip area is delicate and sensitive, it is formulated to contain added local anaesthetic which makes the treatment as comfortable as possible.

I think the most important thing when considering non-surgical cosmetic treatments is to find a provider with a good track record and excellent pre- and after-care such as The Hospital Group.

It is important to find a provider with fully qualified professional staff who will ensure the treatments you are considering are right for you and who will take the time to explain the procedure and what will happen during, and afterwards.

For me, non-surgical treatments are certainly something I may consider in the future. I'm not brave enough to go for full cosmetic surgery and I certainly would not want to risk 'cosmetic surgery tourism' , where saving a few hundred pounds may involve a much higher level of risk than undergoing such procedures in a fully vetted and well maintained cosmetic surgery provider in the UK.

Prices start at around £150 per Botox Syringe® and around £200 per Juvéderm® Syringe. Your provider will tell you how many syringes you will need.

Just make sure that you are having treatment for you. Anything that safely boosts your self confidence is worth the investment I think.

*collaborative post

Affordable Summer Style From JD Williams

JD Williams is a brand I have come to know through its advertising campaign featuring Lorraine Kelly. Lorraine has become a fabulous ambassador for women in my age group (50+) and I love her positive energy and refusal to be pigeon holed as any kind of frump just because she's the other side of 50.

It's great these days to see a vanguard of sassy older women who are making the Fashion Industry sit up and take notice - I often cite Dame Helen Mirren as one of my favourites but there's also Julianne Moore, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton, Michelle Obama, Christie Brinkley and Jane Seymour - to name but a few. In fact I can't remember a time when the sexiness of the over 50 woman was celebrated with so much fervour.

It's even better to see that brands are joining in this positive movement to celebrate those of us who are no longer ingenues but who are in many cases absolute power houses of energy, confidence and knowledge. We are also the ones with the most disposable income so we are certainly worth listening to!

JD Williams is certainly one of these brands and I was recently invited to try one of their maxi dresses (you know me, just can't resist a maxi dress). I was keen to see if they lived up to their reputation as a brand that has risen from out of the ether to be a major online shopping destination.

I was sent the Waterfall Bead Neck Maxi dress - £50 in a cobalt blue (it also comes in cerise) to try and when I tried it on it reminded me of the good old days of Marks & Spencer when the quality was always there and could be relied on consistently.

The dress, a size 12, was a perfect fit and was lined. The embellished collar contained beading that was securely sewn on (nothing worse than beading where one or two have come loose and spoil the entire effect) and the length of the dress was just right - skimming the ground without trailing on the floor.

This meant that it could be worn with flat shoes rather than having to find some vertiginous strappy sandals which, these days would mean the Husband having to escort me down the drive in case I take a tumble.

JD Williams has a wide variety of maxi dresses and there are a number of differing brands under its main brand umbrella spanning not only fashion (Simply Be, Joe Browns, Lorraine Kelly) but home & garden (Silentnight, Denby, Yankee Candle) and electricals (Vax, Panasonic, Samsung).

I particularly love this Palm Print Lace-Up Back Column Maxi (£35), available in sizes 10 - 32.

Palm Print Maxi

or how about this one - the Joanna Hope Print Jersey Maxi Dress - £55.

Joanne Hope Print Maxi Dress

I'd also like to try this one from Lorraine's own range - the Lorraine Kelly Floral Scuba Midi Dress - £50.

Lorraine Kelly Floral Scuba Midi Dress

JD Williams offer free next day delivery and a personal account where you can spread the cost of your purchases and at the moment there's 30% off over 200 dresses. Definitely worth a look.

This is one instance where the advertising promises definitely deliver and I'm really looking forward to their AW16 collection.

*I was gifted the Waterfall Maxi Dress for the purposes of this review.

Win A Father's Day Print From Photofairytales - 5 to give away

It's really difficult to know what to get your dad for Father's Day isn't it - particularly since most dads have everything they want already.

Every year, without fail, my dad claims he doesn't want anything and "don't you dare go to any trouble" whereas we all know the emotional fall-out which would ensue if anyone forgot.

The Husband on the other hand has no such qualms about being treated to something nice from Caitlin and Ieuan which doesn't cost him anything (for a change) and which doesn't involve at least an hour of arduous physical activity.

Here's a lovely idea from www.photofairytales.co.uk - a print that says everything your kids want to say to their dad (or their grandad). I know lots of dads say they aren't too keen on 'mushiness', but really they're soppier than a puppy at heart!

Ieuan Hobbis as a robot - motherdistracted.co.uk

Ieuan has his dad to thank for this cunning robot disguise

PhotoFairytales specialises in unique and unusual, handmade, personalised presents with the added bonus of free UK delivery.

Owner Sarah Thexton has been running her online gift shop from her family home in Norfolk since 2009. She supplies a wide range of gifts suitable for any occasion, including weddings, babies, teachers' gifts and gifts for all the family - including gift vouchers.

The Father's Day Personalised Print costs £14.50 including 1st class delivery and can be personalised for either Dad or Grandad - ideal for Christmas or birthday presents too.

The prints are dispatched within 3-5 working days and are available in a choice of colours. Mine was supplied in blue / grey and you can add one line of personalised text.

The overall size of the mount is 10" x 8" and will fit into any standard 10" x 8" picture frame. Note: photo frame is not supplied.

And Caitlin has her dad to thank for hours of waiting whilst she practises ballet

Your chosen print artwork will be created to order and printed onto very high quality, 240gsm gloss finish paper stock. It will be posted with a backing board and smooth white finish bevel cut mount, and sealed in a protective crystal clear presentation sleeve.

You might also want to check out Sarah's blog where you'll find more information about Sarah's work plus competitions, discounts and giveaways.

Mother Distracted readers can take advantage of a special discount code which gives 10% off across the site. The code is ‘MOTHERD10’and it is valid until 31.7.16.

And, Sarah has kindly given me 5 Father's Day prints to giveaway (can also be personalised to say Grandad).

Entry is via the Rafflecopter below. The usual Terms & Conditions apply and the giveaway is open to UK entrants only. The giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Friday 10th June and in order to receive your print in time for Father's Day, winners must supply their details no later than Sunday 12th June.

The winners will then receive a special order code and details of how to claim their prize first thing on Monday 13th June which will give 3 days to order in time for Father's Day.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

How are you all this week? Wasn't last weekend beautiful? I had a fabulous birthday made all the more enjoyable by a visit from my sister Sarah and her partner Anil.

The Husband gave me Hemsley + Hemsley's "The Art Of Eating Well" and I am now tasked with actually doing some cooking. The whole family are a bit nervous.

I didn't get around to making a birthday cake this year which feels a bit odd so I will have to make something chocolatey this weekend.

The Husband has also given me a couple of books to help me get organised enough to do some more creative writing so perhaps one day, you may find one of my novels on this linky.

A girl can dream.

Here's the fab books on offer this week.

For Pre-orders post - PRE-ORDER / genre / title /author

For New Releases post - NEW / genre / title / author

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Relationship Dilemmas - What Was I Asked In Week 22?

Obviously I am not an expert but I am a 50-something married mum of two with quite a few years' experience under my belt. I take the view that, sometimes, you need to hear it like you would from your own mother - however tough the truth may be.

Here's just some of the questions I've been asked this week.

Q: My partner and I broke up because he realized he doesn't feel ready to fully commit to a relationship at the moment. What should I do, beyond waiting?

He said he’d hit me up when he’d feel ready to fully commit, because currently he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone. We love each other a fair lot, and I’m willing to wait for him to make up his mind and get back together, as unbearable as the wait is.

A: I’m afraid this guy is looking for a way out of the relationship and hasn’t got the guts to tell you. If he loved you that much he would have no hesitation making a commitment. Your best bet is to try to move on and develop your own social life - you will probably meet someone new who loves and values you and is ready for a commitment. Pressurising a guy into making a commitment rarely works though and most will run away scared if they are not that into you. Work on developing your own self confidence and self esteem. Men can wait.

Q: My ex-girlfriend who dumped me wants us to give our relationship another try. I don't know if I'm ready. What should I do?

A: Say no. It’s obvious you’re not really interested and if you go back there is no guarantee she won’t dump you again. Sometimes in relationships, people do things which are unforgiveable. It doesn’t make you a weak person for saying ‘no more’ and standing up for yourself. You could ask for a bit of space I suppose but the fact that you ‘don’t know if you’re ready’ tells me you should concentrate on finding someone new. If your Ex dumped you because YOU were unfaithful or an idiot, on the other hand, then a bit of time out reflecting on how you could be a better boyfriend is called for, to avoid getting dumped again..

Q: My girlfriend and I got into a fight and now her parents won't let me talk to her. Are they wrong to block me?

A: As her parents they have every right to do what they consider best for their daughter’s happiness. If she is not making every effort to talk to you then she agrees with them. It sound like this was not a minor argument. If you need to say sorry and apologise then I would do so quickly - and start by apologising to her parents. That’s the mature thing to do and will win you points from both them and your girlfriend.

Q: I have been hanging out with this girl for about 6 weeks. She's had bad relationships before and we both like each other but she freaks out if I tell her I love her. Her last relationship was about 3 years ago. I love her and am nice and respectful but she has asked me to wait for her because there are lots of things she needs to think about. How long should I wait for her? What should I do?

A: I’m not surprised. It’s only been 6 weeks and you hardly know each other. Calm down or you will frighten her off! If she has a troubled past you need to take things VERY slowly and build up her trust. Get to know each other. Do lots of talking, particularly if her last relationship was 3 years ago - that’s a long time. In terms of ‘ waiting for you’, I take it she means she is not ready for a sexual relationship - and again, after 6 weeks this is not surprising. Why are you in such a hurry? If you keep pressurizing her, she’ll be gone. You can’t keep someone by telling them you love them, you know. At heart, most of us know these things take time if they are real and if they have a chance of lasting.

Q: Is there anything you can do to 'unattract' someone already attracted to you?

A: Other than being completely horrible or cruel, I’d say no. Why would you want to turn off or hurt someone who has genuine feelings for you? Your responsibility is to find a way to communicate that YOU are not attracted to them or feel the same way. If this is an existing relationship then you need to consider whether you should end it if you don’t feel the same attraction. If this is attention from someone who is causing trouble or you are finding a nuisance, then the adult thing to do is be honest and just make it clear that, while you are flattered, you don’t feel the same way. Giving false hope is cruel. As is encouraging their attention whilst being dishonest about how you really feel.

Q: How can I tell my girlfriend to stop talking to another guy who likes her?

A: You can’t .And the more you go on about it, the more attractive he will seem to her, not least because she will start to view your behaviour as controlling and possessive. If you can’t trust her, it may be worth changing our girlfriend. If all she is doing is having a friendly conversation with him, on the other hand, some exploration of why you are so insecure is needed. Be warned. Jealousy is deeply unattractive.

Q: What do you think of a young Christian man who does not want children ever?

A: It is entirely your choice.The most important thing is that you are honest about your decision with your future partner(s). It would be unkind to develop a loving relationship with a woman who wants children without her being aware of your feelings on the subject. I also think it would be worth exploring your reasons why you don’t want children as it is a little unusual to make that decision quite so young.

Q: I will move soon and it is unlikely that I will see the narcissistic ex-boyfriend who dumped me again. Should I meet him one last time?

A: Not unless you want to give him yet another ego boost. It sounds like you are really not over him and are looking for a way back into the relationship. Running away to the other side of the country won’t help you know. You need to talk to someone like a counsellor or trusted family friend about what happened (NOT him) to understand that this happens to loads of other women and that he WILL do it all again to the next woman. Some people are just intrinsically flawed and there may actually be NO answer, other than he got bored and perhaps felt he could be more adored by someone else. Please don’t keep chasing a man who is beneath your dignity.

Q: Is it natural, in your opinion, for the woman to be the one to make the first unplanned sexual advance?

A: These days, yes. Also if the relationship has been going on for a while and the guy has been reluctant to make a move, then understandably the woman wants to test the waters to find out what’s going on. I’m a little concerned by what you term as ‘unplanned’ - sex doesn’t have a timetable. If you are feeling uneasy then you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I can’t tell whether you are the woman or man in this question, but I sense that someone, somewhere is feeling a bit uncomfortable.

Sex should be a natural, unforced part of a relationship - not something to be ticked off a checklist.

Q: Why do all the shitty guys get the girlfriends and the nice guys don't?

A: Probably because they are more confident and employ the “treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen’ approach which most intelligent women will only put up with for so long. The shitty guys may have the girlfriends but do they keep them? Do they get to marry the girl of their dreams? I’m guessing not. You need to develop a bit more confidence in yourself because I’ll bet you have a lot more to offer than men who shore up their frail egos by behaving like complete idiots to women. I do think that the shitty guys might be prepared to take a few more risks and care a little less about rejection - that’s because they think they are so marvellous. And that’s what you need to start thinking about yourself - without acting like an idiot of course.

How would you have responded to these questions? You can find more advice on my problem page.

All materials included in this post are intended for informational purposes only. This post/information is not intended to and should not be used to replace medical or psychiatric advice offered by physicians or other health care providers. The author will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages arising therefrom.

Three Small Changes That Can Have A Massive Impact On Your Look

Just because you are busy and have a lot to do, doesn't mean that you have to neglect your appearance. Try one, two, or all three of these small changes that can have a huge impact on the look of your face.

Your Eyes

Small changes you can make to around the eye area include coloured contact lenses and getting the right shaped glasses your face.

Cosmetic contact lenses are available in a variety of colours and can make a huge difference to your look. They are not designed to improve your sight, but just to change the colour of your eye. You can go for a more intense version of your natural colour for example green blue or brown. Or you can go for a complete change for example from brown to blue or green.

Whichever look you go for, the remember to alter your eyeshadow and liner to your compliment your new eye colour.

Image

As well as being practical, glasses are very popular fashion item at the moment. Geek chic is trending all across social media. It is vital that you pick the correct shape glasses frame for your face.

For example, square faces should go for a round frame which breaks up the harsh lines and strong jaw. Round faces should go for a more of an oblong frame, giving more definition to the eye area.

If you'd like some more information on the correct time frame for your face shape, see here.

You also need to pick the right colour frame for your face. There are so many different coloured frames on offer, apart from the traditional black and brown. The best way to decide which colour frame to go for is to visit an opticians and try them on.

Your Lips

Getting the right lip colour can make a huge difference to the look of your face. For a start it can make your lips look fuller. The right lipstick can also make your teeth look whiter.

Pink tone lipsticks are particularly good in brightening the teeth as are some pink toned reds. But beware, some orange toned reds can make your teeth look more yellow than they are!

If you are considering changing your lip colour you might want to buy a few to experiment with. Or you could go to your local makeup counter and asked them to perform an analysis on you, to see which ones would suit you the best.

Your Skin

Another small change that will have a massive impact on your face both now and in the future is to have a proper skincare routine.

If you do not take your makeup off each night; it can cause premature aging of the skin. It can also cause spots and blackheads because your pores are getting blocked.

Use a cleanser, toner, and moisturiser or skin oil in the evening. This will help remove all the makeup from your face and allow your face to repair during the night.

In the morning cleanse, tone and use a light moisturiser before you apply your make up. This gives a clean matt, finish, so your foundation will go on well and last for the whole day.

Picture Credit

Mother Distracted

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