Caring For Elderly Parents When They Still Live At Home

Watching the people that brought you into the world age isn’t nice. It is even worse when you have to care for them, but they want to stay at home. Everyone has the right to their opinion, and most of the elderly are of the opinion that they want to keep their independence. That is their right, but it makes your life much harder. The only thing you can do is respect their decision and try and care for them as effectively as possible.

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Doing that while you live in a separate house is never easy. In fact, it is a difficult process full of stress and jangled nerves. But, it is possible to achieve if you have the know-how. And, it is worth the effort. After all, they dedicated their lives for you – now it is your turn.

Modify Their House

One thing you should insist on is that the house needs modifying to their needs. If they want to stay at home, they need to compromise, and this is the first compromise. Again, the elderly don’t like making these changes because it is like admitting they are getting old. But, they are essential to their health. A stair lift or an adapted bathroom will improve their quality of life and reduce the risk of injury. When you visit sites like https://www.terrylifts.co.uk, you can see how easy it is to make it happen. There is a range of lifts and platforms for adapted homes, most of which are affordable too.

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Regular Visits 

Even with all of the newest mod cons, they are still likely to have a trip or a fall. That isn’t meant to alarm you, but you should be aware that there is still a risk. If they do have an accident, they will need physical help. If you visit them on a regular basis, you will be there for them when they need you the most. Plus, you can take the strain off their shoulders and make their everyday life easier. For example, you can bring them their groceries so that they don’t have to leave the house. Little things like that reduce the need for them to take risks which lead to injury.

Split Duties 

Still, you can’t do everything on your own because you are only one person. And, you have a family and a life to live too. If you have siblings, you need to make sure that they pull their weight when it comes to caring for your parents. They have a responsibility just like you, and they need to fulfil their duties. It is amazing having brothers and sisters that do their bit because you can balance your life with your parents. Some families even create plans so that they have every day covered. For example, you can see them on Mondays and Wednesdays, and your siblings split the rest of the week.

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Hire A Carer

Sometimes, caring for your parents is too much even with the help of the whole family. After all, you family doesn’t slow down just because your mum and dad are getting old. That is when you need to consider hiring a carer. A care assistant will visit your parent’s home when you don’t have the time. And, they are trustworthy people because they are industry professionals. This link will provide you more information www.agingcare.com. A good caregiver will make everyone’s life much easier. If you are worried about the money, you can get a grant or a government loan to subsidise the cost.

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Move In With Them 

When the situation gets that bad, you need to consider moving home. They won’t move because they want their independence. But, they might let you move in with them for a while. Most parents see it as their kids coming back home, not as you helping them out. Plus, no parent will stop their children from coming home because it is part of their DNA. It is a viable option as long as the house is big enough because you need enough space for everyone. The kids might not like it, and your partner might feel the same, but they will understand. You can do it for a year and rent out your home to see how it works. If it doesn’t, you can move home and think of a new plan. If it does, you should consider making it permanent.

Create An Emergency Plan 

You can’t be there for them all of the time, and that is when they tend to have an accident. When that happens, you need a plan of action. Everyone needs to know their job and what they should do if possible. For example, you should tell your parents they need to ring an ambulance and then ring you straight away. Or, tell them to press the emergency button (see modify home) to alert the emergency services. A plan is vital because it can be the difference between life and death.

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Suggest They Consider Moving 

They will only get worse as they get older. That is also true if they have a bad incident and need to visit the hospital. When that happens, you have no other choice but to make them see sense. No one wants to force their parents into a decision, but you do need to have a stern word. They need to know that caring for them while they are at home alone isn’t feasible anymore. They need to understand that they need permanent help, whether they like it or hate it. Only then can you start to give them the care they deserve. No one is saying that they have to move into a care home because they can move into your home. Then, you don’t have to disrupt your family’s life. A care home might be the option, but that is the final straw. Sometimes, assisted living quarters are available and they mix the independence and around the clock care.

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Caring for elderly parents is never easy. But, you have to do what is best for their health.

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Mintycoco - Oil Pulling For Healthier, Whiter Teeth

I'm a big fan of natural ways to replace the chemical laden products that tend to fill our bathroom and a while ago I read about the new (old) craze for oil pulling.

Prior to my second attempt at oil pulling

Oil pulling is an ancient Indian method of cleaning your mouth and teeth by swishing a tablespoon of various oils around your mouth for anywhere between 5-15 minutes - and then spitting it out.

The theory is that the oil will take with it any nasty bacteria lurking which will not only improve your oral hygiene but will also help prevent a range of illness that may go on to affect your body too.

Having had dodgy gums for quite a while, I thought I'd give it a go and started off by using sesame oil.

The sensation of having a mouthful of oil does feel a bit odd but after a few days I noticed that my teeth were cleaner and my gums a little more pink.

Then I tried pure coconut oil which was a little more difficult because it is solid at room temperature and, surprisingly, doesn't taste all that coconut-y.

But I had read that coconut oil has a range of additional benefits to some of the other oils, so I persisted with my new routine.

It is quite difficult spending 15 minutes with a mouthful of oil whilst trying to get the kids ready for school and having to gesticulate wildly that "mummy can't speak for the next 15 minutes"!

The downside was that I found my facial muscles ached.  And the ache would last for several hours.

I have problems with my jaw joint - a condition known as Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome  (or TMJS) which means that over exertion of the joint can lead to facial pain.  My TMJS is mild compared to some of my fellow sufferers whose lives are made extremely difficult by this very painful condition.

So,  I gave the oil pulling a miss.

Recently I started to read about Mintycoco - who make a product which combines virgin coconut oil and peppermint essence specifically for oil pulling.

The product comes in individual sachets pre-measured which is a great help because the books I have on oil pulling specify anywhere between a teaspoon or two up to 1-2 tablespoons of oil.  It was difficult to get the right quantity.

I thought I'd give oil pulling another go.

You simply pull the top of the individual sachet and push the oil into your mouth.  Because it's been quite cold, the coconut oil was solid and I found you have to mash it a bit between your teeth until the oil liquifies and you can start slooshing it around your mouth.

Rather than the typically bland taste of the pure coconut oil, Mintycoco has a pleasant, although slight, minty taste.

It is recommended that you swish for between 5-15 minutes, although I'm not convinced 5 minutes will do much.

After you have finished you have to spit the oil into the bin, not down the sink where it will block the drains.  I have to say this is the least appealing aspect of the process for me.

Mintycoco also suggest that you use the product before cleaning your teeth in the morning or evening, although the books I have read on the subject suggest that oil pulling replaces the traditional brush / paste.

Unfortunately, after my second attempt, my jaw started to play up and it was back to the toothbrush for me.

I am really disappointed about this because Mintycoco is a good quality, pleasant tasting and very convenient product.  You could easily take a few sachets on holiday with you for example - whereas lugging a huge jar of coconut oil would be a bit of a pain!

As Mintycoco say, the natural lauric acid found in coconut oil has been proven to be antibacterial and can kill bacteria, viruses and fungi in your mouth.  It can also help reduce plaque and freshen breath.  Devotees also report brighter, whiter teeth after longer term use.

If you have read about oil pulling and fancy giving it a try, that I'd recommend you give Mintycoco a go.  It's a very easy way to start and to see if you can work oil-pulling into your daily routine.

Mintycoco are currently offering a 3 day trial at a reduced price of £7, otherwise a 14 day supply will cost £23.99.

I would say, though, that if you are prone to having jaw problems, oil pulling might not be for you.

You can find out more about Mintycoco and oil pulling on their website at www.mintycoco.com, on Facebook or Instagram.

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"The Aha! Factor - The Intuitive Guide For Getting What You Desire & Deserve" & Giveaway

As readers of this blog know, the self-help / personal development book genre is one of my all-time favourites and I fear the unstable mounds of books by the side of my bed are about to get even bigger now that I have discovered Watkins Publishing who specialise in precisely this type of book.

The Aha! Factor by Mariana Cooper

They very kindly sent me a copy of a fascinating book by Mariana Cooper entitled "The Aha! Factor - The Intuitive Guide For Getting What You Desire & Deserve".

Mariana Cooper is a 3rd generation intuitive, thought leader and visionary mentor who has her own radio and TV shows, as well as hosting telesummits that reach over 85 countries across the world.

She has also been an Angel Therapy Practitioner and certified Advanced Medium with Dr. Doreen Virtue for over 10 years and has performed thousands of readings and coaching sessions.

In "The Aha! Factor", Mariana shows us how we use those random, momentary experiences of knowing to get in touch with our "Aha! Factor" - that force which gives us the true direction we want to follow and which is best for us.

We've all had those "gut feelings" where something doesn't feel right.  Haven't you sometimes met somebody and just known they were either a friend for life or someone to avoid at all costs?  It would be very handy if we could tune into these feelings and come up with a strategy to use this inner knowledge to benefit us.

Mariana clearly outlines the tools we have at our disposal to do just this.  She teaches us how to tap into our own Energetic System of Communication (ESC).

This consists of

- our intention
- our intuition
- our telepathic ability to both send and receive
- our channelling ability to both send and receive

and

- our capacities to receive and perceive both physical and energetic information in combination with each other so that we can navigate our world with greater ease.

One of the most chapters I found most interesting was one of 50 easily recognisable signs and symbols which help you to know that you are in touch with your Aha! Factor.

For example:-

* receiving a phone call or text message from someone you were only just thinking about

* seeing the same numbers over and over - for example if you keep seeing 888 abundance and prosperity are yours now  (I'm looking for that one, believe me!)

* smelling the scent of a loved one's scent or cologne when they are not there

* turning on a movie just when a line of dialogue is spoken that is applicable to your situation

The world whispers to us in many ways if only we would tune in - and that is what this book teaches us to do.

I really enjoyed it and you can buy a copy at Amazon.co.uk.  I also have one copy to give away.  Just enter via the Rafflecopter in the usual way.  UK entrants only and terms and conditions apply.  The giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Friday 13th May 2016.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck!

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Is Commenting On Our Baby Bump Unacceptable?

There have been quite a few articles lately along the lines of "things not to say to a pregnant woman".

Your baby bump will attract interest

Why is it, having spent months and sometimes years trying to conceive and at a time when surely there should be celebration and congratulations, some expectant mums seems to join the ranks of the professionally offended and regard any casual comment or glance at their baby bump as a social faux pas of such magnitude that it borders on an insult?

I remember being about 4-5 months pregnant with Caitlin, having spent a good year or so trying to conceive after a miscarriage.  The Husband took me to a local Italian restaurant and we asked for a table for 2.  "3, surely" said the waitress with a smile.  I was absolutely delighted.

There's no denying that pregnancy, and particularly the early stages, can be a rough time for lots of us.  Your hormones are all over the place.  You are too big for your old clothes and too small for maternity wear.  You're still in the "intensive research phase" of working out what you can and can't eat and are totally enthralled by the changes appearing in your body on an almost daily basis.

When you get to that blooming, glowing phase where your baby is developing fine, your scans are OK, you are happily nesting and putting plans in place for your new arrival, then others may notice and comment on your contentment.  It's human nature, surely, to be fascinated by the most wonderful thing our bodies can do.

I do understand that, for some, any intrusion into their personal space may make them feel uncomfortable.  And to have your bump clumsily prodded without asking you is a little rude.  But an interest in pregnancy is surely the most natural thing in the world.

Of course some will want to touch your bump and see the baby kicking.  Seeing a foot push out of your belly is amazing.  Ieuan used to move about so much it looked like he was doing a Mexican wave.

Yes, you will be inundated with advice, much of it based on old wives' tales, but most of the time, people are just showing an interest and for the rest of it, they are not sure what to say.

But to be offended by questions like "have you chosen names, what are they?" or advice such as "sleep when the baby sleeps" seems a little extreme.  Questions such as "are you going to breast-feed?" and "will you be having a natural birth", on the other hand are going too far.

Pregnancy is a stressful time but I think you have to let others in a little.

Having had my kids so late, I was well aware that both my natural pregnancies were miraculous and that I was extremely lucky to have the experience of motherhood.

There are thousands of women struggling to conceive, and some you probably know quite well, who would give anything for someone to comment on their growing baby-bump.

And if you think some of the things said to an expectant mum are beyond the pale, trust me, the some of the things said to us older mums are far worse!

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20 Easy Ways To Recharge Your Batteries

We all have days when things don't entirely go to plan or we wake and find we just feel 'blah'.

Those of us who bear the strain of a chronic or auto-immune illness may start each day from a position of compromised energy and it may be a struggle to even get to 'blah'.

Take some time out to recharge your batteries

At times like this, having a strong support network of friends and family is invaluable and the phone can be our greatest ally. Even the often maligned Facebook can offer a lifeline of community, friendship and seasoned advice.

It is also important to treat ourselves with kindness and to know when we need a break.  It is not a crime to take our needs seriously.  As the saying goes, you need to apply the oxygen mask to yourself first before you can save anyone else - and this is particularly true for parents.

I'm sure you will have your own list but here are 20 easy suggestions to press the pause button in your life and to take some time out to reconnect with what's important to you and your feelings - and to make sure you are treating both your mind and body with care.

1.  Say no.  Remind people that 'no' doesn't necessarily mean 'never', but at the moment it means 'not now'.

2.  Call a friend or relative you can trust.

3.  Lose yourself in your favourite TV box set (mine is the Poirot series).

4.  Read a really gripping book.  Here's a review of the last one I read.

5.  Learn a new skill - both dancing, table tennis and learning a new language have recently been shown to keep our brains young and stave off dementia.

6.  Take a long, hot bath.  You could try an Epsom Salt bath which is great for renewing our Magnesium levels.  A magnesium deficiency can be the cause of tiredness.

7.  Turn your gadgets off for a while.  The world will not implode.  Even if you turn email and Facebook notifications off you may feel less frazzled.

8. Try some adult colouring or dot-to-dot.  There are loads of books available.  In fact so many of us are colouring, we are facing a global shortage of coloured pencils!

9.  Create a vision board on Pinterest.  If you haven't got into Pinterest yet, you may be surprised at how easy it is to use and how addictive.  You basically create online pinboards containing your favourite images and you swop and share images by following others just as you do on Facebook and Instagram.

A vision board is a visual wishlist of all the things you'd like to have or experience and, so the theory goes, by regularly viewing your vision board, you are more likely to bring the things you want directly into your experience.

10.  Ditch the black - it's so easy to dress in black because we think it's slimming or it helps us blend into the background but we know that colour lifts both our mood and that of the people looking at us.

Why not add a dash of a bold colour into your wardrobe - a hot pink, yellow or orange.  Black can be pretty ageing, especially around the face whilst a splash of colour can throw a flattering light on our complexions.  This, by the way, is why ladies used to wear pearls - to light up their skin.

11. Do some yoga, pilates or some gentle stretches.  You don't have to go to a class to get the benefit as there are loads of good DVDs.  As you get older, you might find 10 minutes of stretching each morning 'unkinks' your body from your night's sleep and prepares you for the day.

12.  Meditate.  Just 10-20 minutes a day has been proven to give long-term benefits to our health. There are many guides to meditation online and I have also heard good things about the Headspace app which offers guided meditation if you just find it too difficult to ignore your thoughts.

13. Take some photographs - just photographing your kids, your pets, your garden, the sky, anything that gives you joy, will lift your spirits. You can share your world via Instagram and, if you use the right hashtags, you may find many others who share your particular interests.  Did you know, for example that there is a hashtag called #catsofinstagram?

14.  Take a nap.  Not exactly rocket science I know but it comes back to taking time out for YOU and not being afraid to assert your needs.  The theory goes that anything between 20-45 minutes is a sensible amount of time.  Any longer and you'll probably wake up feeling groggy.

15.  Eat something.  Seriously.  If you have been fuelling yourself on carbs and sugar all day, try a high protein snack - a handful of Almonds or some cubes of Cheddar Cheese and some apple.  Try some Green Tea for a slightly healthier caffeine drink or just a long glass of water.

16.  Write a gratitude list.  I know, I know, it might sound a bit 'woo-woo' but you'll find that there is truly a lot we can all be grateful for, right now.

17. Do something nice for someone else.  I read this week about a lady who was buying an In Sympathy card for a relative since there had been a bereavement in her family. She was surprised to find a small plastic envelope in the card she selected.  In the envelope was £10 and a note from a stranger saying "I am sorry that you are having to buy this card.  Please take this £10 and do something nice for yourself".  I image that stranger felt as good making that gesture as the lady who received the envelope did.

18. Do some baking.  In her book "Saved By Cake", the writer Marian Keyes describes how baking helped her to deal with her depression.  You may find it helps you - in which case, worry about the calories later and get creative with the butter icing.

19.  Pray. Although many of us no longer adhere to a formal, organised religion, there is a lot to be said about asking for what we want and putting the future in the hands of a higher power - whether that be God or the Universe.  Just ask, let go and then go about your day.  Even better if you can sit in a sacred space, whether that be a church, a garden or a quiet place you've made your own.  Why not light a candle and spend some time thinking about what it is that you really want and need.

20.  Declutter.  There's a wonderful book about domestic cleaning called "Sink Reflections" by "Flylady"  She recommends doing something called the "27 Fling Boogie".  Get a black bag and run around your home selecting 27 things to go in the bin. Or you might prefer the more philosophical approach of Marie Kondo in her book "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up".  Either way, a good sort out tends to clear the mind and give you something else to focus on.

So there you have it. 20 simple ways to recharge your batteries. What do you do to make yourself feel better?

Let me know in the comments below

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Make Your Bay Windows More Beautiful with Curved Radiators

Bay windows are a delightful feature in any home but until now they have also tended to limit the number of heating options available, especially when it comes to fitting the right type of radiator.

Image by Thomas Heyman via Flickr

With the advent of the curved radiator such concerns are truly a thing of the past. Curved radiators are well-designed and efficient and they also come with a dazzling array of colours, finishes and features that can really help lift a tired room to new heights.

Heating Problems Solved With Curved Radiators 

As many home owners with bay or curved windows have realised, it can be very difficult to find a radiator that strikes a balance between functionality, aesthetic form and a minimal footprint.

Large traditional radiators look obtrusive and clunky and due to the unusual angles inherent with bay windows, they tend to be installed too far into the room, stealing precious space.

The ideal radiator placement is below the windowsill or as close to a wall as possible. Bay windows and straight lined radiators have tended to make this difficult to achieve.

Curved radiators easily solve this dilemma because they have been designed to fit into spaces that are also curved. This non-linear solution is ideal because annoying dead space is no longer an issue and the room can also be properly heated and enjoyed as it should be.

A Look For Every Taste 

Curved radiators come in an incredible array of colours and finishes, meaning that there is certain to be something to suit every design situation. Whether your taste is classic and ornate, minimalist, sleek and streamlined or loud, bold and contemporary, the range of looks and materials on offer at Radiator Curving Ltd. makes it easy to find a perfect match.

Just a few of the finishes include subdued ivory, gold, copper and bronze metallic sheens, summery fresh yellows or stark blacks and charcoal greys.

Textured surfaces are also available that can help complement fabrics, furnishings and featured décor and there is even a pressed metal scrolled look that just oozes class and style.

Create A Cosy Reading Nook 

These beautiful curved radiators are so well-made that it would be a pity to hide them away but some people choose to do exactly that. With a bit of creative carpentry many home owners have built enclosures around their radiators which still allow their heat to be dispersed throughout the room, but also add an extra level of utility and flexibility to how the room can be used.

Reading nooks and window seats are a perennial favourite and coupling the right kind of radiator with the appropriate clearance and suitable timber, one can make a cosy seat over the top of the radiator right beside the bay window.

With adequate ventilation, such a set up can actually force the heat to be directed outwards instead of upwards and definitely makes for a toasty seat that takes the chill out of a cold winter’s day.

When seeking decorative heating solutions for bay windows, curved radiators are an innovation whose time has definitely arrived. These elegant and sturdy appliances will bring comfort, warmth and visual delight to any home in which they are installed.

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New Releases, Free & Bargain Books Linky 15 April 2016

It's that time of the week again and I hope you have found at least a little time to curl up with a good book.

I read John W Mefford's great new crime thriller "At Large" which had me gripped from start to finish.  It's about one of the most macabre serial killers you can imagine.  You can read my review here and there's a chance to win some of John's books too.

If you're reading pile is dwindling, why not have a look at the fab books on offer this week?

Sharing the Love of Books
Enjoy our selection of New Releases / Free & Bargain Books this week

Click HERE for this week's awesome selection.

Authors please feel free to add your own books
Readers please free to add your own finds
(any genre except erotica welcome)

This weekly link up is hosted by Beck Valley Books & these awesome book loving blogs...
Monday
 Life as Leels | IrishdaisylovesRomance | Book Babble | All Romance Reader
Tuesday
It's My Side of Life | Celticlady's Reviews | First Time Mommy Adventures | Bound 2 Escape
Wednesday
Beck Valley Books | A Library of Reviews | Cinnamon Hollow Reviews
Thursday
Miki's Hope | Taking Time for Mommy | Nicki's Nook
Friday
Ebook Addicts | I Love Romance | A Bit Bookish | Mother Distracted | Colorimetry
Saturday
Totally Addicted to Reading | 3 Partners in Shopping | Angie's Angle | I Creat Purty Thangs | Wishful Endings
Sunday
Lynchburg Mama | LibriAmoriMiei | Ali - The Dragon Slayer | Wondermom Wannabe | My Bizzy World |  Deal Sharing Aunt 

For Pre-orders post - PRE-ORDER / genre / title /author

For New Releases post - NEW / genre / title / author

For Free Books post - FREE / genre / title / author / end date 

For Bargain Books post - SALE / price / genre / title / author / end date
(Strictly no Erotica please.  Steamy romance is fine but watch those covers people, incase any underage child is viewing it!)

Click HERE for this week's awesome selection.

And don't forget you can always add some of your own!

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At What Age Is It Safe For Your Child To Walk To School On Their Own?

With the happy news that 8 year old school boy Connor Beck has been found safe after going missing on his way to school, you can practically hear a collective sigh of relief from parents across the land.

When is the right age to let your child walk to school on their own?

Connor, for reasons yet unexplained spent his day yesterday hiding in a bush next to the school where he was found around 5 pm.  His disappearance had sparked a full scale police search.

But I'll bet his parents are today reviewing their decision to let him walk to school on his own.

This raises the obvious question - at what age is it safe to let your child walk to school alone?

Caitlin is 8 and Ieuan is 7 in June and although their school is a brief 10-15 minute walk away, there is no way I would let either of them go unaccompanied.

And, frankly, after the recent horror stories of April Jones and Milly Dowler, I think it may be a very long time indeed before I feel confident enough to let them go.

For a start, there is the danger from main road traffic, although there is a wonderful lollipop man (are we still allowed to call them that?) who is on patrol close to Caitlin's school.

Although Caitlin and Ieuan are in the same school, they are on different campuses with a 5 minute walk between them.  The daily start and finish times are staggered to allow time for parents and children to walk between the two sites.

Already some parents are letting their Year 3 children (who finish earlier) walk the 5 minute walk between the two sites to meet their parents and siblings, relying on the nous of the child and the supervision of the lollipop man.

There is no denying that, for the working parent, the school run is a hellish dash.  Parking around both school sites is restricted, although you get the usual crew who seem oblivious to the meaning of a double yellow line (the bigger the vehicle, the more colour blind they seem to be, I find).

You also get those who happily do a three point turn in the face of on-coming traffic, forcing everyone to slow down or take evasive action.

Even if it's pouring with rain, there is little point taking a car because parking is incredibly difficult.

Despite the fact that we are lucky enough to have a lollipop man, there have been at least 2 road traffic accidents involving injury to kids in the past year.

So whilst I understand the pressure, personally, I won't take the risk.

And then there is the risk of violent crime.  Now I know that statistically the likelihood of abduction or worse occurring is slim.  But how could you live with yourself if something did happen?  Even knowing it wasn't my fault, I would forever wish I had been there to protect my kids.

But we have to be pragmatic.  We are going to have to let them go at some point, aren't we?  We cannot keep them under house arrest in the event that something terrible may happen.

Already, kids spend too much time inside on iPads because many parents are too terrified to let them play outside unsupervised.

When I was my daughter's age, my sister and I spent most of our time cycling up and down the cul-de-sac we lived in.  The Husband used to play in a nearby quarry with his mates.

So what can we do?

- Teach your kids about "Stranger Danger"

- Consider enrolling your kids in a self-defence class like Tae Kwon-Do

- Buddy up with a fellow parent and keep a look out for each other's kids in the event that you're late picking them up

- Talk to the school about ways to get personal safety on the agenda

- Talk to the Council if street lighting is poor or inadquate

-  Talk to the school bus companies to check that drop off points are as safe as possible.

I am sure that there are many other things that could be done to improve safety for those kids who do walk on their own to school.

Whilst I am against giving young kids mobile phones due to the possible damage to their developing brains from handset radiation, this is one situation where a cheap pay-as-you-go handset may well be worth the risk.

I walked to school on my own when I was about 10 or 11 and that is quite early enough in my book. You may well feel differently or simply be unable to do the school run and get to work on time.

Employers need to step up to the plate here and examine how family-friendly they are.  I find that many firms will happily claim to be "family friendly" but it's a different matter if you have to be late a couple of mornings or have to leave because your child is sick.

Let's be honest.  There is absolutely no reason why many job roles need to be carried out between 9 am and 5 pm.  If you are in a sales role, then that is different but many administrative functions can be carried out on a more flexible schedule.

It might be worth talking to your Human Resources Department to see if there is anything that could be done to improve the flexibility of your working hours.

When to let your children walk to school on their own is a very personal (and tricky!) decision but if we talk to the schools, the council and the police (e.g. a local community police officer), much can be done to make things a little safer.

As parents, we should also be working together to look out for one another's children.

And we shouldn't be afraid to speak up and report anything we see that is even vaguely suspicious.

I bet little Connor Beck's parents are hugging him even tighter today.

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Brew Your Own Beer With Brewbarrel & Giveaway

When I was young, home brew was all the rage.  My dad used to make a lethal concoction which he claimed was Elderflower Wine.  My friends used to brew their own beer and wine too.  One particularly inventive friend once made wine from coffee beans.  No I've no idea how.

The Brewbarrel comes neatly boxed

On another occasion, my dad and I went sloe picking to make sloe gin.  Unfortunately we decided to do this at dusk and found ourselves stuck in a hedge looking for pitch black sloes in the pitch black. Trust me, it's not advisable - and my resulting potion tasted much like Calpol.  (Don't ask how I know that).

Anyway, beer, particularly craft beer and home brewing is enjoying a bit of a renaissance and Munich home brew specialists, Brewbarrel.co.uk, recently gave me the chance to test my own skills as a master brewer.  I would say brewing mistress but it's a tad too 50 Shades and it's still far too cold for that kind of malarkey.

The contents of the Brewbarrel Kit

Brewbarrel have developed a home brewing system that is simple, quick and uncomplicated.  The team have re-engineered the home brew process and come up with a way to produce home brew that is customised to your taste.

First you choose the type of beer you would like to brew.  We chose India Pale Ale.  Your kit arrives neatly boxed with a brew barrel and a selection of ingredients.  These are added to the barrel in a specific order as explained by the instruction leaflet.

The only other ingredient you need to supply is tap water!

I have to admit to being a bit daunted but if I managed it, anyone can.

The basic process is this.

Add the malt extract (in the large bottle in the picture) to the barrel.
Add water - a mix of cold and boiling, according to the instructions.
Shake barrel for 30 seconds
Add in hops, yeast and any additional flavours
Add the pressure valve
After 24 hours turn barrel upside down for 10 seconds
Leave to ferment for 5 days
Put in fridge for 2 days
Drink.

And that's it.

The only slight difficulty I had was getting the pressure valve into the top of the barrel.  It does require a bit of forcing and the trick is to turn the valve as you put it in, rather than press it straight down.

After a heavy ironing session and trying not to eat the kids eggs, we found time for a beer

Ideally you will have room in your fridge to chill your beer.  We had to take one of the shelves out but you could get away with putting the barrel in the garage or somewhere equally cool.

When the beer is ready to drink you simply lift the red bolt of the pressure valve to release the pressure and there is a valve on the bottom of the barrel you tilt and turn to pour your beer.

Your home brew will last for a few days in the fridge.

Now the Husband believes I can 'cook'.  Just need to crack housework.

We were a little unsure of how the beer would taste - remembering my father's own lethal home brews I was a bit dubious but the India Pale Ale, although a little cloudy, was really good with a nice depth of flavour and a 'hop-y' taste.

I'm told the cloudiness is fine as it is a Bavarian style beer and it did not detract from the taste in the slightest.

Am I clutching my beer a little too tightly?  Two weeks school holidays can do that to a woman.

Brewbarrel beers are priced between £25 and £30 for a 5 litre keg  (just over 8.5 pints if you haven't managed to go metric like me).

There are quite a few exotic choices too, such as Wheat Beer with Woodruff and Raspberry and there's an Oktoberfest Beer and even a Christmas Beer.

Would I do it again?  Yes I would - particularly for special occasions and I think a Brewbarrel would make a really nice gift for a home brew enthusiast.  With Fathers' Day not too far off (19th June), I think I might encourage my dad to give it a try. At least the pair of us won't have to risk getting stuck in another hedge.

I found making our India Pale Ale easy and good fun and I have a barrel of your choice to give away to 2 lucky winners.

Simply enter via the Rafflecopter widget.  UK entrants only.  The usual terms and conditions apply and the giveaway finishes at 11:59 pm on Friday 13th May.

Please note:  you MUST be over 18 to enter and I don't need to remind you to drink responsibly, do I?

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Beck Valley Book Tour: At Large by John W. Mefford

New Release...
Alex Troutt Thriller Series #2
AT Large

The pursuit of the truth. The hunt for a life.

For the first time in months, FBI Special Agent Alex Troutt feels almost normal, hanging out at a local bar with friends after work. Not long into the evening she stumbles over one of the most disturbing images she has ever seen.

And that’s only the beginning.

A body is found in Lowell, the human damage, once again, inconceivable. Hours later, another strike. Pushing heartache aside, Alex immerses herself in the investigation. But with every new clue comes a new twist.

With the killing spree drawing the attention of every intelligence and law enforcement agency in a five-state radius, Alex is forced to partner with an egomaniac from the CIA. Yet, even with limitless resources, every step forward proves to be a step too late, the kill list seemingly endless.

Once the killer makes it personal, Alex is left with no other option—she must confront the person who destroyed her life to try to cease the vicious murders. And when she finally learns the killer’s end game, every second counts if she has any hope of stopping the brutal killings.

The hunt will end. Will Alex?

Available to buy from.....

Amazon.com    Amazon.co.uk    Barnes and Noble    iBooks   Kobo   

My Review

In At Bay, the first Alex Troutt thriller, Mefford introduced us to his new female special agent and I think it's fair to say, he was just getting into his stride.

At Large follows on from the first book to a large extent and the strands of this new story are cleverly interwoven.  

As Alex's memory returns we also get to learn more about her past family life and her marriage and there are certainly some shocks in store.

In At Large we meet a killer who is resourceful, cunning and possibly one of the most violent I have ever read about.  Hannibal Lecter looks like a bit of a pussycat in comparison.

Mefford's writing continues to grow on me and if you like your thrillers gutsy, fast-paced and with more twists and turns than a road through the Alps, you will love this new series of thrillers.

It's great to find a female agent who can hold her own against her male colleagues whilst still being a caring mother and a woman.

Mefford will have you gripped right until the very last page.

I can't wait to read the next installment.

Highly recommended.

Also available
AT Bay (Alex Troutt Thriller series #1)

Alexandra Giordano never knew she had it so good. Until it was all gone in an instant.

As she begins her daunting quest to uncover the black spots on her memory, what she finds isn’t sweet or charming or even pleasant. And that’s when she begins to question everything, including herself.

Her work as a Special Agent for the FBI is only a distraction, serving as a mental metronome…anything to crank the gears of her feeble mind.

And then it happens—a bizarre, ritualistic murder. She loses herself in her work, fully immersed in the investigation. Unable to recall even her own kids, she’s somehow able to formulate coherent theories on what type of person could pull off such a sickening act.

As her mind slowly plugs a few memory gaps, her emotions are scrambled by the reality of her worlds colliding. And the resulting explosion tears her in two.

Can she pick up all the incendiary fragments to solve the twisted crime while she clings to some semblance of sanity?

One woman can only keep so much…AT Bay.

Available to buy from.....

Amazon Kindle    Amazon Paperback    Barnes and Noble    iBooks   Kobo   

About the Author

A veteran of the corporate wars, former journalist, and true studier of human and social behavior, best-selling author John W. Mefford has been writing novels since he first entered the work force twenty-five years ago, although he never put words on paper until late 2009.

John writes novels full of intrigue, suspense, and thrills, but they also evoke an emotional connection with the characters.

When he’s not writing, he chases three kids around, slaves away in the yard, reads, takes in as many sports as time allows, watches all sorts of movies, and continues to make mental notes of people and societies across the land.

John lives in Frisco, Texas with his beautiful wife, three opinionated kids, and a feisty fat cat who rules the world.

Find the author on the following sites...

Website   Facebook   Twitter   Google+   Goodreads   Amazon Author Page

OTHER BOOKS FROM JOHN W MEFFORD

Follow the book tour

I received this book to review through Beck Valley Books Book Tours, all the opinions above are 100% my own.

NOW FOR THE AUTHOR'S GIVEAWAY

Win both ebooks AT Bay and AT Large
2 Winners!!
Ending on Thursday 14th April at 11.59pm CST

Open Worldwide 

Enter HERE

Good Luck !!

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12 Tips To Beat The Back To School Blues For Mums

I have to admit that, despite the chaos, the noise, the ever-empty fridge and the mounds of washing, I felt quite down once I had dropped the kids back to school after their holiday break.

For those of us prone to depression or any form of anxiety, times like these can be a flash-point where we can be suddenly thrown back into unhelpful patterns of thinking or feeling.

This is because, during a family break, there are so many other things to think about and focus on.

Mindfulness And Mediation May Help.

Happiness is very much about directing your focus. That's why Mindful Meditation is so useful because it teaches you to live in the 'now' and to focus on the current moment.

Lots of us get anxious when we start listing all the things we have to do in our heads and then we find the weight of our responsibilities may trigger a stressful reaction.

Some of us don't even realise the reasons why we are suddenly feeling blue.

But if we know we are likely to feel down once we have delivered our little bundles of joy (or bigger bundles!) to the school gate, we can make sure that we take some time to be kind to ourselves during the early days of the new term - and ideally all the time!

When Your Sadness Interferes With Your Daily Life....

Of course if you are feeling extremely down and it is interfering with your daily life - for example you can't sleep or you are having panic attacks, you should make an appointment with your GP to talk through what it worrying you.

Try to do the same with a trusted family member - or a friend if your problems are caused by a family situation.  I have a list of helpline numbers you may find useful HERE.

There is no shame in admitting that you are struggling to cope.  I have had counselling on previous occasions and found it extremely beneficial.  There is something about hearing yourself discussing your problems that can trigger an 'ah-ha' moment.

You may find yourself admitting to feelings you try to hide even from yourself or finally realise what the true nature of a concern may be.

Psychologically, our habits can often be a smokescreen to hide what we are feeling.  There is a hidden pay-off for sticking firmly to habits that we know are not doing us any good.

We might sit on the sofa eating chocolate not because we are lazy but because we find going out and meeting new people extremely stressful.

We may spend too much time buying make-up or clothes not because we just enjoy these activities but because we are trying to shore up our fragile self confidence by endlessly seeking the 'perfect' outfit or the foundation that will give us the 'perfect' complexion.

The danger of course is that if we don't address our less-than-healthy habits, they can sometimes spiral into bigger problems such as addiction.

Talking through your problems is key.

Time To Be Kind To Yourself

For those of us who are just feeling a little down because our babies are back in school (although I know quite a few mums who have got the flags out!),  here are some quick tips to be kind to yourself.

Treat yourself to flowers

Buy yourself a bunch of flowers and display them in your best vase.  Aldi and Lidl have great, inexpensive bouquets

Visit your local library

Leaving aside the importance of keeping our precious libraries alive, you could stock up on some juicy novels to enjoy in the evenings instead of the endless reality TV shows.

If you are prone to anxiety and depression, some of the current Soap storylines aren't exactly cheering either so you might want to give these a miss for a while.

Or add some Classics to your E-reader

Why not download some of the free classic novels for your Kindle or E-reader.  You could try Jane Austen's "Pride & Prejudice" and spend your time dreaming about Mr Darcy.  There are plenty of free and bargain books to be had on the weekly book linky HERE.

Plan some family activities for the weekend

These don't have to cost money - just a trip to the local beach or park with some sandwiches and a flask would be fun.

Plan a special traditional Sunday lunch

So many families no longer seem to sit down to eat together around a table, or even to have a good, old-fashioned Sunday roast.

Why not make Sunday special with a roasted chicken with all the trimmings followed by an apple crumble or custard, or a vegetarian or vegan feast?

Plan activities for the next school holiday

Have you written down all the school holiday dates with bank holidays and Inset Days?  

Book some activities now or if you are planning to go away on holiday, the sooner you book, the better the availability will be.

There are loads of fabulous places to visit in the UK and there are loads of sites which offer deals on hotel accommodation - or why not try a local B&B?

Clean the house from top to bottom

Cleaning can be very therapeutic.  I'm not suggesting you go all Marie Kondo (in her best-selling book "The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying-Up") but a sort through of some of the piles of post (admit it, you have them too) and a bit of a dust will burn some calories and lift your mood, particularly if you do it to your favourite music.

Sort through the kids' toys

Get rid of all the broken bits and pieces, incomplete jigsaws and toys they no longer play with.

Old toys can go to charity but it's probably best to check with the kids when they get home to avoid a total meltdown.  

You could encourage the kids to make a bit of extra pocket money to put towards a family trip by selling their old toys.   Perhaps you could have a weekend family car boot sale.

Exercise

A half hour walk a day will help clear your head and give you some focus.  If you don't fancy leaving the house, why not treat yourself to an exercise DVD.  You might feel a bit more confident learning your Zumba moves at home before venturing out to a local class.

Review your childcare

If you work, now might be a good time to check that you have the right childcare.  It's important to feel confident that your child-minders and babysitters are the right ones for your children.

If there are any issues festering or you feel that your kids just aren't happy, take some time to do some research and talk to some of the other mums about who they use and who they would recommend.

Find Some Mum Friends

If you are a stay-at-home mum, it can be difficult to find adult company during the day - particularly if all your friends are at work.  There are numerous "meet-a-mum" sites online where you can look for friend in your area.  Or why not see if any of your Facebook friends live close to you and invite them for a coffee?

Talk To Someone About Any Relationship Problems

It's not surprising that, with the kids out of the way, your focus may turn to the other relationships in your life - particularly your partner and your immediate family. Now may be the time to sort out any niggling disagreements or even seek counselling if a long-term problem is dragging your down.

You may find some useful advice in my regular agony column, Relationship Dilemmas, and feel free to message me if you would like my advice on your situation.

Hopefully these tips will help dispel the feeling of gloom that can descend during the first few days of a new term.

There's Light At The End Of The Tunnel!

And remember, usually, it's only another 5 or 6 weeks till the next holiday when we'll all be stressing about how we're going to fill the time!

Take this time to look after yourself and recharge your batteries so you'll be ready for whatever this term - and the next holiday - throw at you.

How do you cope with the back-to-school-blues?

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Your Top Considerations When Choosing A Care Home For A Relative

Moving your relative into a care home is never an easy decision to make. But sometimes it has to be done. Here are the considerations that should be in the forefront of your mind if you are going through this process.

Staff 

The staff members that work in a care home are the people who your relative will come into contact with each day. You will get a chance to meet them and see them in action when you visit a care home, and this will probably influence your decision massively. No one wants to move their relative into a place that is staffed by people who are unhelpful or cruel. You should do research and read reports that often judge staffing performances on them. You want to make sure that you are not going to have any problems with the staff and their behaviour later on down the line.

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Facilities

The facilities that are offered in the home are also very important. This is what most people focus on when they are looking for a place to move their relative into. It needs to have the right care and medical facilities that meet your relative’s specific health needs and requirements. And you should also ask to see the private living quarters where your relative will be living. It’s not all about what’s on the inside though. Care home providers like http://hc-care-homes.co.uk/ also focus on the outdoors. Elderly people like to be able to get out and spend time outside of the care home. So, it’s good to move them into somewhere with large green spaces.

Costs 

Unfortunately, very few of us are able to simply move our relatives into the very best care homes. And that’s because the very best care homes come with a pretty large price tag attached to them. The costs are never cheap, and it’s up to you to weigh up the pros that the care home offers with the costs. Of course, there are many cheaper options out there that still offer a high-quality service. It’s not always the case that the most expensive places have the happiest residents. You should make a shortlist of places and then compare the prices of them all. You probably won’t be able to afford them all, so compromising will be necessary.

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Your Relative’s Preference

Obviously, all cases are different. But if your relative is in need of specialist care but is still able to take part in the decision-making process, they should have a say. It’s them that will be affected by the decision that is made, so it’s only fair that they have a say in the place where they will end up. They should be with you every step of the way when you are weighing up all the options. They should meet staff members, view the facilities and do everything else that I mentioned above. Before you even start to view the options, you should talk to them about what they want to get out of a care home. Then you can take it from there. Sites like http://www.payingforcare.org/care-home-fees offer more information on care home costs.

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Review & Giveaway - Toppik Brow Building Fibers Set

Toppik is a brand that is new to me and when I was asked to try their Brow Building Fibers Set with the promise of fuller eyebrows, I was very keen to see if it would work on my two rather thin brows.

The company, from the US, specialises in hair loss and problem hair and has over 40 years' experience in developing products and services for hair and beauty, hair sciences and hair loss, including surgical, medial and cosmetic solutions.

Toppik also offers an internationally renowned range of products for male and female hair loss and thinning hair.

Toppik Brow Building Fibers Set

Try as I might, I cannot for the life of me get my eyebrows to arch or look anything other than straight.  No,  I'm afraid my 'brow game' has never been particularly strong.

Just the promise of thicker, fuller brows is enough to cheer me though so I gave Toppik's set a whirl.

It's a clever little multi-layer pot which contains brow wax on the top and, underneath, coloured Keratin fibers to give your brows density and volume.

The Contents Of The Kit

You get a double ended applicator and use the angled side to lightly apply wax to your brows to help shape, define and prep them for the fibers.

Once you have applied the wax you then use the rounded end of the brow brush to apply the brow building fibers.

You lightly dab onto your brows to fill in sparse areas and give brows more definition.  Any stray fibers can be easily brushed away.

The fibers are specifically formulated for eye brow hair which behaves differently to the hair on our heads.  The fibers cling to brow hairs in the same way hair building fibers cling to the hair on your head. Additionally, the wax doesn't remove the static charge but the brow fibers cling to the wax when it hits them due to the emollient nature of the wax.

The product comes in three colours - Light Brown, Medium Brown and Dark Brown.

I chose Medium Brown as even though my brows are naturally dark, I have highlighted hair and didn't want too much of an unnatural contrast.

Before & After - Even  A Light Application Makes A Difference

You can see how the product works here.  If you scroll down the page these is a handy video which shows you everything you need to know.

I was really impressed with my Toppik Brow Building Fibers Set which retails at £16.95 and is available from their online shop at www.toppik.co.uk.

I also have one Toppik Brow Building Fibers Set to give away in the colour of your choice.

Simply enter via the Rafflecopter widget below.  UK entrants only and the usual terms and conditions apply.

The giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Friday 29th April 2016.

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