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Saturday, 31 December 2016

How To Finally Stick To Those New Year's Resolutions

If you're like me, you are likely to be one of the estimated 30% of the UK population who will make a New Year’s resolution of some kind by January 1st. That’s approx 12.4 billion people and nearly half of those self promises will relate to health and exercise - the most popular being to lose weight and get fit.

The problem is, stats show that over 500,000 of us who make New Year's resolutions will have broken them by the 2nd of January!

So why do we do it? Are our goals just totally unrealistic in the first place? Are we a nation of dreamers who think things will come easy to us?

Woman doing yoga by the sea


The key lies in the way we make our resolutions. American self help author Melody Beattie says ‘The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.’

Nutritionist Zoe Martin at Discount Supplements advises that a great way to interpret this is to break our goals down into smaller, manageable steps so that we won't get discouraged and give up too easily.

Says Zoe, ‘If your goal is to lose 3 stone then break it down and make it more achievable. Set yourself a target weight to lose over the course of a month, and set smaller targets in between such as going to the gym twice a week or not eating takeaways. These small resolutions will change your behavior in the long term and can really feel like you are making progress, rather than think the challenge is just too great and giving up within days.’

Here are some more tips from Zoe you might like to use when setting your New Year's resolutions.

1. Be realistic

Be realistic about your resolutions. If you can actually see yourself achieving it then it is more likely that you will stick to it. 63% of people that start New Year’s resolutions fail within the first month so keep it realistic and don’t lie to yourself.

2. Make it measurable

It can be inspiring and fun to have an ambitious goal but if you can’t tell if you are getting closer to achieving it then you will fail. For example; you can’t exactly measure how happy you are but you can measure how many nice or good things you have done for others in the past week.

3. Never doubt yourself

While working towards your goal, you must always believe you can do it. If you doubt yourself, you will start to become complacent and will slowly give up. If you allow yourself to take a break even for a small period of time you will most likely never get back to working on achieving your goal.

Having a list up on the wall of what your goals are and how you plan to achieve them will help stop you from giving up. For example have it on the wall facing you when you wake up, it will keep it fresh in your mind so you won’t start to forget or doubt yourself.

New Year's Resolutions Infographic from Discount Supplements


4. Keep it short

This happens more often than you think, where people set themselves extremely long term goals that can be very difficult for many people to stick too. This is purely because the more time it takes to achieve the goal the more time you have to quit before you achieve it.

For example; it appears easier to stop drinking carbonated drinks for 6 weeks than trying to stop for an entire year.

5. Create small challenges

After you have been working towards your set goal, you can start to give yourself small challenges to keep you from slipping into laziness. It could be a simple challenge like adding an extra 5 minutes to your workout or not checking your social media accounts until the evening.

6. Get a friend involved

If you can have a friend trying to achieve the same goal will help keep both of you on track. This buddy system helps both of you as to not let each other down by giving up or putting it off.

Discount Supplement's Fitness adviser Luke Thornton has worked with Zoe to create a guide on sticking to your resolutions and meeting your goals which you can download here.

The most important step is setting up a cue to remind yourself of your resolution each day - for example leaving your running shoes by the back door - and of course you need to reward yourself (in a healthy way!) for committing to changing your habits.

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Tuesday, 27 December 2016

Will Your Life Be Better With These 50 "Pearls of Wisdom"?

As we approach New Year I'm sure we'll read many articles about how to improve our life - whether by reinventing ourselves into the person we think we'd like to be, or by adopting life hacks.

Flowers and postcard saying adventure awaits


I love a good list and this one was put together by the Skipton Building Society whose researchers asked 1000 people aged over 65 and in retirement to pass on their advice to the younger generations.

As you might expect, being sensible with money is a dominant theme!  For example, "don’t go into business with family, avoid lending money you’re likely to need back and never let the sun set on an argument with friends".

Here's what else the survey discovered:

"Among the basic financial common-sense advice such as pay off debts rather than spending money on luxury items and try to pay off your mortgage as early as you can, are nuggets such as save the long working hours until the children fly the nest, and spend quality time with grandparents as they won’t be there forever.

Retirees also cite the importance of doing something every day that makes you happy, and trying not to worry about what other people think.

All great advice and easier said than done but the point is we have the luxury of time to at least try some of these.

The over-65s can look back on mistakes they have made and opportunities they’ve missed during the first two thirds of their life, and try to encourage their children and grandchildren to follow a different path.

When it comes to finances, retirees are brimming with useful tips for youngsters – such as plan for retirement rather than burying your head in the sand.

‘Spend some, save some’ is also advice commonly passed down by people over the age of 65 – with many feeling you should holiday as much as you can, while you can.

Retirees are quick to suggest people should start saving at a young age, and recommend people don’t lend money they may need back.

In relationships, elderly respondents believe you should marry someone who makes you laugh, and make sure you stick by old friends even when making new.

Those in retirement also say you should never rely on just one or two close friends – create a network of many, and when it comes to keeping friendships, never go into business together.

Never give relationship advice as you’ll always be wrong, keeping a happy wife means having a happy life and continue having date nights after having children are also top relationship tips.

The top 50 Pearls of Wisdom also includes some practical guidance for those who haven’t yet reached retirement – such as always trust your gut feeling, always lose gracefully and be persistent.

Retirees also recommend flossing regularly as dental problems are awful, make friends with the neighbours and only pack what you can carry yourself.  I can second that one!

Pursuing hobbies and interests outside of work, trying to secure a job which you enjoy and treating yourself once in a while are also things retirees have learned are important over the years.

Older generations are also keen for people to ensure their children know the value of money, and also encourage them to teach their children how to budget from an early age.

The study shows 51 per cent of retirees polled do have some regrets about their working years – of these, 19 per cent wish they’d worked fewer hours and four in 10 wish they’d made more of an effort to pursue their dreams.

A further three in 10 people wished they’d created a better work life balance, while 45 per cent would have put more of their earnings aside into savings if they could turn back time.

Now in retirement, 17 per cent are struggling with money, while 28 per cent say their health is their biggest concern.

More than half of retirees look at younger members of their own family now and wish they would start taking their family more seriously."

TOP 50 WORDS OF WISDOM

  1. Pay your bills and stay out of debt 
  2. Pay off debts rather than spending money on luxury items 
  3. Pay off your mortgage as early as you can 
  4. Plan for retirement rather than burying your head in the sand 
  5. Teach your own children how to budget from an early age 
  6. Be kind 
  7. Spend some, save some 
  8. Teach your children the value of money 
  9. Pursue hobbies and interests outside of work 
  10. It’s okay to need help 
  11. Don’t make decisions when you’re angry 
  12. Treat yourself once in a while 
  13. Spend more time with the children before they leave home 
  14. Don’t complain about getting older: not everybody gets the privilege 
  15. Start saving at a young age 
  16. Manners maketh man 
  17. Do something every day that makes you happy 
  18. Try to not worry about what other think 
  19. Travel / go on more holidays while you can afford it 
  20. The most important person in your life is the person who agreed to share their life with you – treat them as such 
  21. Neither a borrower nor a lender be 
  22. Never lend money that you need back 
  23. Make new friends but stick by the old ones 
  24. Always trust your gut feeling 
  25. Marry someone who makes you laugh 
  26. Always lose gracefully 
  27. Take criticism constructively 
  28. Spend quality time with your grandparents as they won’t be there forever 
  29. Don’t be in too much of a hurry to grow up 
  30. Make sure you get a job doing what you love 
  31. Always sleep on a big decision 
  32. Get to know your neighbours 
  33. To thine own self be true 
  34. Never let the sun set on an argument with friends 
  35. Start thinking about your retirement before your boss does 
  36. Never go into business with family or friends 
  37. Happy wife = happy life 
  38. Don’t work long hours, save it for when the children have left home 
  39. Nothing worth doing comes easy 
  40. Only pack what you can carry yourself 
  41. Be persistent 
  42. Do what you can to live close to your grandchildren 
  43. Floss regularly, dental problems are awful 
  44. Always avoid inconveniencing others 
  45. Never give up what you want most for something you want now 
  46. Don’t rely on one or two close friends, create a network of many 
  47. Never give relationship advice – you’ll always be wrong 
  48. Continue date nights with your partner after having children 
  49. Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option 
  50. Clean less
So there you have it.  Do any of these resonate with you?  Personally number 37 is a bit of a favourite and I've never had any trouble with number 50!

I guess the main takeaway from this which we should all remember is simply "life is shorter than you think".
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Friday, 1 January 2016

The ONE Thing That Will Definitely Scupper Your New Year's Resolutions

How are you doing so far?  If you're like me, you'll have written a list of resolutions that is about the same length and complexity as the Dead Sea Scrolls.  Heck, short of wearing a hair shirt this year, you will be perfect dammit!

Girl in kayak - New Year's Resolutions - motherdistracted.co.uk
Make sure you're the captain of your own, er, kayak
You will have sleek thighs, a spotless house and the inner calm of the Dalai Lama.  No more excess consumption of sugar, carbs, things in packets or boxes, shouting at the kids, thinking anything vaguely 'toxic'.  You get the drift.

Days will be filled with endless random acts of kindness.  You are going to be soooo good, every time a butterfly flaps its wings, the lakes of positive karma you are generating are going to make a yak smile in Nepal.

Except.  Except....

I can guarantee that there will be a flaw in your cunning plan to be nicer than Mary Berry whilst combining the intellectual vivacity of a young Germaine Greer with the mysterious allure of Claudia Winkelman's fringe.

If you are not doing it for YOU - you're on a high road to nowhere.

Yes, if you have added a resolution to your list to make someone else happy at the cost of your own bank balance, peace of mind and happiness, it's all going to go pear-shaped pretty early on.

How many of us join gyms because our partners helpfully 'suggest' we'd look better if we lost a few pounds?

How many of us decide to read mind-numbing pseudo-scientific tomes and dreary best-sellers in an effort to make ourselves more interesting.

It's about as sensible as learning all the 64 words for 'the' in Russian language when the nearest you'll get to Moscow is a bottle of vodka.

There are, indisputably, resolutions we should undertake for the benefit of our health - drinking less, eating better, exercising more, but if we are doing any of these to seek someone else's approval, now is not the time.

I think our motivation to make serious, long-lasting changes can take a real knock if we fail with our resolution at the first hurdle.  Better to wait until we are ready - at a time not dictated by the turn of the year, the addition of another digit to the man-made records of time.  Man-made - there's the rub, to quote Shakespeare. Is anyone keeping a track of the change of years in the rest of our galaxy (apart from astronomers)?  No? Exactly.

You know, if you find yourself designing your life with the sole intention of pleasing others, the best New Year's Resolution you could make, if you can't quite kick the habit, is to please yourself.

If we are happy in ourselves, don't you find that a lot of petty problems fall away?  We don't worry about the extra pounds, our weird laugh, our inability to read a wine-list or, in Ieuan's case, a habit of adding strawberry jam to his chicken goujons.

We can learn a lot from our kids.  They embrace the moment and are glorious in their individuality - right up until a helpful adult suggests a few 'changes' they might like to make.  You can see where it all starts, can't you?

So, this New Year's Day, I hope you'll junk the resolution list and instead write a list of things to do just for you.

And if they're weird, odd or laugh-out-loud peculiar - good.

Trust me, the Galaxy Time Police are probably having today off too.

Happy New Year!

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Friday, 2 January 2015

Happy New Year! These are the resolutions you REALLY need to make

Over the last 48 hours, we've all read ACRES of poems, pithy thoughts and witticisms, resolutions, revolutions, advice about ablutions, diets, regimes and the rantings of Piers Morgan.

Caitlin wearing a Pizza Express paper hat
Just wear the bloody paper hat!

Hopefully you have managed to distil from this copious verbiage those philosophies and ideals which will carry you safely through this new year and out the other side.  

Fuelled by Thorntons Continental and red wine, I thought I'd share some bon mots with you, honed from my odd 50 years (and some of those years have been extremely odd) so that you may gain some clarity about the swirling cloud of Facebook cats and celebrity idiocy that by now will be reaching toxic levels.

1. Don't hang around with people you don't like.  

There are approximately 7 billion people on the planet.  Surely you can find someone else to go for a drink at the weekend?   

This includes those people who specialise in back-handed compliments or who can't resist dragging up that thing you did in school which was hilarious in the 70's but means absolutely nothing to anyone now - but them and you.

2.  Try something different occasionally. 

Obviously I'm thinking of gentle activities here like crochet or anything that doesn't involve lifting.  Or much movement.  

3.  Smile.  

Apparently it's a fact that if you smile, your whole physiology changes and you feel better. Gritting your teeth is a short route to the dentist.  Or in my case, the jaw clinic at our local hospital.

4.  Tell people you love them. 

Life's too short and all that.  I like to tell the husband this occasionally, not least for the look of shock he usually wears, swiftly followed by "what are you after?".

5.  Treat yourself.  

For God's sake, if you can afford that bag and you want it, buy it.  Is it really worth 48 hours of arguing with yourself as to why you should / shouldn't when you know you'll buy it in the end anyway?  

If you feel really guilty about making yourself happy, make a donation to your favourite charity to balance up your karma.

The rest?  Guess what?  You already know what to do.  

The question is will you choose to do it? 

Will you choose to exercise, eat right, not get bladdered every night, be a decent person? 

Unless you have the moral compass of the Marquis de Sade you really don't need ANYBODY to tell you what to do. 

So my last piece of sterling advice (at least today) is simply this.  

When the cracker of life is pulled and the novelty that falls out is either complete rubbish or in someone else's half of the cracker, just put the bloody paper hat on and smile.  

There's always another year.  Hopefully.
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Monday, 29 December 2014

This year I'm resolving to..... ish......

1.  Eat healthily.  I say healthily, actually I mean back away from the biscuit tin and try to remember the existence of fruit.



It's the biggest party night of the year.



2.  Drink less. Whilst this means I will drink less wine, in practice it will mean I forget to drink sufficient water.  Since Jesus turned water into wine, I reckon I'm about 50% there already.

3.  Exercise more.  Unless my back goes, when I will wander through shopping centres shouting randomly like a drunk tramp as the spasms hit, whilst the husband and kids will speed up and abandon me to lurch wantonly through John Lewis.

4.  Listen to more music.  Quietly.  Too much noise is not good for my tinnitus but I miss belting out power ballads at the top of my lungs and scaring the neighbour's cat. N. B. music does not include the shouty Viking rock my husband loves.  If I want that kind of noise I will just put a saucepan on my head and bang it repeatedly with a ladle.

5.  Not read the Daily Mail Online (or the Daily Kardashian as it has recently become).  Some of the grimness of its reporting is really upsetting, but we all know I'll be trying to guess who sent this week's letter to Bel Mooney and wondering if the You Editorial Team would have the vapours if they saw the state of my interior decor.  That's not a euphemism by the way.  In any case,  the NHS has had far too much of my interior decor this year, to the extent that I have "if lost please return to University Hospital of Wales" embroidered on my knickers.

6.  Not watch the same TV programmes over and over again.  I am qualified to be an estate agent for Midsomer and Sykes is the only dog I would ever consider having as a pet.  The death rate in Midsomer Murders would only be a problem if the Council Tax bandings were unreasonable.  

7.  Not buy the latest celebrity lifestyle tome in which rising at 6 am is de rigeur as is straining your home grown green tea through fine denier stockings and doing yoga to salute the sun.  Nobody has seen the sun in Wales since 1976.  And if I bend down, my physiotherapist has to be called immediately.

8.  Be a better mother.  I am not entirely sure what this entails but I believe it has something to do with being higher on the Julie Andrews scale and lower on the Gruffalo in a dressing gown scale.

Do you have any exciting resolutions this year?  Whatever your resolutions are, I wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous 2015.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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