Problem Page Edition 21 2017

This week - when your boyfriend tells you he's a "better professional" than you are, whether not being able to afford a wedding is a sign of cold feet and whether constant texting is a healthy thing in a relationship.

If you would like any advice, feel free to treat me as your agony aunt. Just message me or pop a comment in the comment box at the end of this post. I promise to be gentle.

Here are this week's questions.

Q: Why does my guy friend complain constantly about his wife to me?

And when I called it out on it, he stopped doing it, but now never fails to just mention her name, out of the blue, whenever we are having a great time laughing at jokes, then he looks at me like he’s trying to read me?

A: I think you know the answer to this one, don’t you and I suspect it won’t end well.

I am sure his wife isn’t too happy if he’s spending a lot of time with you (I take it that you are female - I can’t tell from the question) and it’s probably no wonder he’s being nagged.

If he’s mentioning her name I’d suggest it’s guilt because he knows he’s flirting with you and the meaningful looks are part of that game. The ‘my wife doesn’t understand me’ routine is as old as the hills and used by men to justify having an affair.

It’s pretty immature behaviour on his part and I think you need to think about where your relationship with him is going.

If you’re happy with just friendship, I think you need to get that message over to him loud and clear.

And if you are hoping for a relationship with him bear in mind that such men very rarely leave their wives.

Q: Is it normal that my boyfriend and I text each other 24/7?

We've been dating 3 years. He gets mad when I take more than 5 minutes to reply. And we always have to tell each other where we go, when we leave to places. I used to not get mad when he took forever to reply and now I do. I hate it. I find it very annoying.

A: Your boyfriend sounds like a very controlling individual and no, it isn’t healthy nor normal. I wonder how you have put up with this for so long.

Are you saying you have to respond within 5 minutes to his texts but he takes all the time he likes?That is very childish, don’t you think?

And what kind of relationship is it where everything revolves round your phones?

I sense that you are realising this just isn’t right and you really shouldn’t be treated like a possession.

Has he managed to get you to cut ties with all your old friends, or worse, even your family?

I would confide in a close friend if you can for support and in your shoes, I’d be high-tailing it out of there pronto.

Q:  I think of my ex almost daily, but I don't want him back because he caused me a great headache and paranoia. What should I do?

I broke up with him two months ago. He still stalks me and asks my colleagues about me. It’s really a difficult situation. One of my colleague said both of you are egotists.

A: When you say he ‘still stalks’ you, do you mean literally - following you, tracking your every move? Or do you just mean he asks you colleagues about you occasionally? Because there’s a big difference. 

Asking after you would be entirely normal and suggests that he is missing you.

I don’t think you should be painting him as obsessive if that really isn’t the case. You say he caused you to be paranoid - why was that I wonder? Was he a flirt, did he play mind games, was he controlling?

Isn’t the truth that you are having second thoughts and are missing the attention or the excitement (however unhealthy) that a difficult relationship can provide?

Is this, as you colleague hinted to you possibly a case of “I don’t want you but nobody else can have you”?

If you are miserable and want him back then just tell him but don’t play games with the poor guy if he is really upset about the break-up and you just want validation that you are attractive (or whatever).

If you didn’t enjoy being in the relationship then let him go and find someone better suited. After all if he was a constant headache and made you paranoid then that’s not really a relationship destined to last is it?

Q: What should I do when my boyfriend tells me 'he's a better professional than me'?

I’m more into research and am starting a PhD at a top university this autumn, while my boyfriend has 1 year more working experience. At the moment we work at the same company, and spend a lot of time working together on hobby projects. I never thought he saw it this way: I assumed we’re equal so don’t know what to do.

A: I’d say your boyfriend is jealous that you are going to a top university and, I assume, will leave better qualified than he is.

This is a really childish response and in your shoes I would be asking myself why I was still with him - unless he was joking, which by the sound of it he wasn’t.

If he’s jealous before you even start your course it doesn’t bode well does it?

Q: A girl used to like me but now she acts as if I don't even exist; she changed quite suddenly. Should I have any hope that she still likes me?

She is mean to me in such a way that even makes me have nightmares, but I like her nonetheless. Is there anything wrong with me, with her, or both of us? Why does she seem to show romantic interest in such an aggressive manner?

A: Because she is not really showing romantic interest. It seems her feelings have changed or she has serious issues and enjoys getting her attention by being nasty to others.

And since she is giving you nightmares I wonder why you are even giving her the time of day.

Stand up for yourself and if you really want her around tell her that this behaviour is unacceptable and if she doesn’t wise up then she can find someone else to be mean to.

Q: How can I marry my girlfriend if I can't afford it? How can I get over this?

A: I suspect you can afford to get married but you can’t afford a big splashy wedding. Is this what your girlfriend is pushing for?

People have budget weddings all the time that are equally as meaningful and beautiful as the big extravaganzas.

In any case a big splashy wedding does not ensure that the marriage will last. I think you are focusing on completely the wrong thing here.

Can’t you find somewhere pretty for a simply ceremony and then a quiet meal for a few close friends and family?

Or are you actually getting cold feet and using this as an excuse for getting out of it.

Either way, you need to discuss this with your girlfriend and be honest. If the wedding means more to her than the fact that she is marrying you, I think there’s a bit of talking to be done.

Q: Is it my fault if a girl goes into depression after I refused to go out with her?

A girl asked me out, said she had a crush on me for a long time. I didn’t feel the same for her, so I politely refused stating the reason. She didn’t say anything further and went home. Two months later I found out she’s in severe depression; was admitted in hospital. Was that my fault? I feel bad.

A: No it wasn’t your fault. Depression is an illness which has many triggers and if it wasn’t you turning her down it may well have been something else.

She was admitted a whole two months after your rejection in which anything could have happened.

Don’t feel bad and if you are concerned and you see her ask how she is but I wouldn’t raise her hopes again.

How would you have responded to these questions? I'd love to know. You can find more advice on my problem page 

Disclaimer: All materials included in this post are intended for informational purposes only. This post/information is not intended to and should not be used to replace medical or psychiatric advice offered by physicians or other health care providers. The author will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages arising therefrom. 

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Here's What You Need For Healthier Skin, Hair & Nails

The health of our hair, skin and nails is extremely important as these are a reflection of the natural balance within our bodies - a barometer of our health.

You can always tell someone who is less than healthy.  Their hair is lank, their skin is dull or spotty and their nails are discoloured, ridged or broken.

For great skin, hair and nails, we need to eat foods that are rich in antioxidants, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, B vitamins, water, healthy fats, and naturally low in sugar. These foods will enhance our blood flow, reduce inflammation, and aid in healthy blood sugar levels.

We all know that sugary foods do little for the overall health of our bodies but a diet too full of the sweet stuff can take its toll on our hair, skin and nails.

Did you know for example that too much sugar can affect your collagen -important for my age group and especially so for mine (50+).  Collagen and elastin are the protein fibres that keep skin firm and elastic.  Besides damaging collagen, a high sugar diet affects the type of collagen you have - and how prone you are to wrinkling.

Whilst we should all be trying to retain our natural good looks with a vitamin and nutrient rich diet, life tends to get in the way and we end up indulging in high fat, high salt takeaways or, my particular vices tea and coffee.

So as well as eating a vitamin rich diet, we should make sure that we have sufficient amounts of the following vitamins and minerals which have a particular benefit for glowing skin, strong nails and glossy hair.

These include Riboflavin (vit.B2), Niacin (vit. B3) and biotin which contribute to the maintenance of normal skin, and the minerals selenium and zinc which contribute to the maintenance of normal hair and nails.

Riboflavin (Vitamin B2)

This water-soluble vitamin helps the body to use the other B-vitamins, all of which assist with helping our body use energy from food and may also help protect cells from oxidative damage.

If you are deficient in this vitamin, you may have symptoms such as cracks at the corners of the mouth, sore throat, hypersensitivity to light and migraine headaches.

A deficiency in riboflavin also effects the formation of collagen, needed to maintain healthy skin.

You can find vitamin B2 in meats such as beef and lamb, milk and yoghurt, mushrooms, spinach, almonds and eggs.

Niacin (vitamin B3)

Niacin, also known as vitamin B3, is a water-soluble vitamin that is a part of the coenzymes that assist with energy metabolism.

If you consume a diet of mostly processed and sugary foods, processed grains, white bread, white flour, wheat products and corn syrup you risk becoming deficient in this vitamin.

 A niacin deficiency will lead to symptoms such as diarrhea, dementia, dermatitis, poor concentration, anxiety and depression.

Good sources of Niacin include turkey, chicken breast, peanuts, mushrooms, liver, tuna, sunflower seeds and avocado.

Biotin

Biotin (or vitamin H) is one of the B complex vitamins that help the body convert food into energy.

B vitamins, and particularly biotin, help keep your skin, hair, eyes, liver, and nervous system healthy and it's also a important nutrient during pregnancy as it aids the growth of your baby.

Generally we can get the biotin we need from eating a healthy diet, but there are now claims that getting more biotin can regulate your blood sugar, promote healthy hair, skin and nails, and help pregnant mums have healthier babies.

Biotin deficiencies are rare but symptoms include hair loss or a scaly red rash, anemia and fungal infections.

Good sources of Biotin include seafood, meat, whole wheat bread, eggs, dairy products and soya.

Selenium

Selenium is an essential trace mineral important for cognitive function, a healthy immune system and fertility for both men and women. 

Selenium works in close conjunction with vitamin E as an antioxidant to prevent the formation of free radicals and in turn, may reduce the risk of skin cancer and prevent sunburn.

Selenium is found in a variety of foods, the richest sources being Brazil nuts, seafood and organ meats.

Zinc

Zinc is another essential trace element and it is needed in small amounts every day to maintain our health.  For example, zinc helps with hormone production, growth and repair, improves immunity and aids digestion.

Although it is actually present within all bodily tissue, if you don't have enough zinc in your diet you may find you are frequently falling ill, feeling constantly tired with poor concentration and wounds that take ages to heal.

Zinc has numerous benefits for your skin, particularly if you are prone to acne or spots which may actually be a sign of a zinc deficiency.

Other signs that you are deficient in this trace element include white spots on your fingernails, dry skin, frequent colds, hair loss, diarrhea and low sex drive.

Good sources of zinc include spinach, beef, kidney beans, flax seeds, pumpkin seeds and oysters.

But when you're pushed for time, it isn't always easy to make the best food choices and what if you are don't eat meat, dairy or are wheat intolerant?  

A supplement such as Perfectil Original for Skin, Hair & Nails by Vitabiotics may be the answer as will swopping some of your usual food choices for the foods listed above. For example, swopping your sugary breakfast cereal for a healthy oaty porridge, adding extra green veggies, particularly broccoli and eating more fish such as salmon and mackerel.

If, though, you are finding you have problems with your hair, skins and nails you should see your GP to get a medical check up. For example, problems with the thyroid gland may lead to hair thinning or hair loss and dry skin.

You should also look at your lifestyle in general and make sure you are taking adequate steps to manage your stress and get enough sleep.

Meditation and the practice of Mindfulness are two easy, free ways to take control of unruly thoughts and to stay calm and centered.

*pr collaboration

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Tips on Dealing with a Loved One’s Addiction Problems

Addiction doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens in loving families, relationships and supportive communities. This means that it’s not only the addicted person that is affected by their problems, and that it has an impact on all of those that they are close to. 

While this can have a negative and often-hurtful effect on loved ones, it also means that there is a support network for addicts. Loved ones, family and community, can rally together to ensure that they can help those in need.

This doesn’t however; mean that it’s going to be easy to help someone that has addiction problems. In fact, recovery is a long and arduous process that has the power to tear families apart if not dealt with in a sensitive and strong manner.

Here are some tips on dealing with a loved one with addiction problems:

Educate yourself as much as possible

It’s almost impossible to understand addiction unless you have been through it. The next best thing that you can do is to learn as much as possible as you can about addiction and the particular addiction that your loved one is struggling with.

Educate yourself, and you will be able to pick up signs and signals about addiction that may allow you to catch it before it descends into its worst phase.

Make connections with others going through the same thing

It’s incredibly hard to live with some or support someone who is an addict. It’s also important that you need to get our own support. The best thing to do is to create connections with peers or other families that are going through the same thing as you.

They will have a better understanding of your circumstances, and by supporting each other, you can get through the worst of it with a shoulder to lean on.

Don’t enable or let yourself be abused

Addiction makes people act in crazy, selfish and often harmful ways. It’s important that you don’t allow yourself to be on the receiving end of physical, mental or emotional abuse from the person you are trying to support.

The same goes for enabling them in their addiction. Never hide, make up excuses or turn a blind eye to their addiction, or abusive characteristics that allow them to continue down the path unabated. This just enables them to continue with their addiction and behaviours as if nothing is wrong at all.

Therapy 

While having family and friends supporting you is great for everyday needs, you should also go and get some professional help to assist you.

Professionals will help you maintain your mental, physical and emotional strength that you will need in order to support your loved one in the ways that they need.

Get help

You can’t deal with addiction alone, and you should definitely seek professional care for your loved one. For the best support at such a difficult time, you should look to social care job agencies that have professional social workers on their books that would be only too glad to lend a listening ear. There are also therapy groups and rehabilitation facilities that you should look into in order to get the best advice and assisted care for your family member.

Your loved one – whether it’s your partner, a family member, a friend or a neighbour – might not always agree with your decisions, but you can’t take on your loved one’s road to recovery alone and he/she will thank you for it in the end.

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Interesting Ingredients With Incredible Health Benefits!

We all know the benefits of eating the right foods. They help you to maintain a healthy weight, protect you from diseases and improve your appearance by giving you healthy hair, skin and nails. They generally keep our bodies running at their best and provide us with everything we need to grow, repair and thrive.



Photo source

Eating a rainbow of healthy fruit and veg, whole grains and lean protein will generally do the trick- however, you can take it a step further by adding ‘superfoods’ to your diet. These come under the radar every now and again and are hailed by health buffs- generally, they’re ingredients which have been used across the globe for both food and medicine for centuries. 

Now that health food shops and even supermarkets give us access to all kinds of weird and wonderful ingredients, it’s worth getting on board and giving some a try! Here are some unusual yet very healthy foods to add to your diet.

Chia Seeds

Chia seeds, the seeds from a flowering plant in the mint family, have become one of the most popular superfoods in the health food industry. Thought to have been eaten by Aztec warriors in ancient Mexico to give them strength, energy, and endurance. Eating chia seeds has a number of incredible benefits. They can improve digestion, promote healthy skin (and reduce the signs of aging), help to build healthy bones and muscles and in some cases even heal diabetes. They’re full of fibre, are a good source of non-animal protein, omega 3 and 6, and calcium. There are tonnes of antioxidants and micronutrients which all help to support the body’s functions. 

You can add chia seeds to smoothies, cereal or yoghurt, if you’re not keen on the slight crunch then grind them in a pestle and mortar first. They have a non-offensive taste a little like poppy seeds, but you only need a small amount and added to other breakfast foods you won’t even notice they’re there. An easy way to add a huge boost of nutrition to your diet.

Wheatgrass

Ever wondered what the healthiest fruit, vegetable or herb you could possibly eat is? According to scientists and nutritionists, it’s wheatgrass. This is the young grass of the wheat plant, and contains every vitamin and mineral you could possibly imagine. It can heal your body and is said to be one of the greatest food healers known to man. Due to being an excellent source of living chlorophyll, it can clean and build the blood and reduce unfriendly bacteria in the body. 

You can get wheatgrass in tablet or powder form where it’s been dried and rehydrated. This is useful as it can be added easily to smoothies and other dishes. You can also buy the living grass which can be juiced and drank daily as a shot. If you’re looking to try just one superfood, wheatgrass is an excellent contender!

Cod Liver Oil
Cod liver oil is pretty gruesome, it's exactly what it sounds like. The oil pressed from the liver of a cod. However, if you can get your head around it, it will provide you with some awesome health benefits. It’s high in vitamins A and D, plus omega 3 fatty acids. These can help to reduce the risk of illnesses such as heart disease, dementia, depression, and arthritis.

Green Tea

Green tea is the healthiest beverage on earth- as well as gulping plenty of water during the day making up a big pot of green tea will do you wonders. It’s packed full of antioxidants which fight free radicals in the body. Free radicals come from things like chemicals in our diet and pollution, and cause damage from aging skin to cancers. So neutralising them is a smart move. 

Green tea can also help to decrease body fat, especially in the abdominal area which is a particularly dangerous area to carry weight. It can boost metabolism, with numerous studies showing excellent results. Nutritional cleanses such as Isagenix are also useful if you’re looking to reduce body fat, and you can drink green tea while you’re on them to help boost your results. 

Photo source

Kelp

You heard that right- kelp is a superfood! Not just for fish to nibble on, it’s extremely good for us too. While brown algae isn’t the most appetising looking food, it can be bought in powder or tablet form. You can even buy things like pre-made kelp noodles made with it making it easy to consume. It contains a wide variety of unique minerals from Iodine and underwater antioxidants, iron, folate, and vitamin K. 

Another thing to note is that it also contains the highest natural concentration of calcium of any food. Great if you don’t consume dairy as it’s a fantastic form of calcium that’s 100% vegan.

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OCD - My Glasses & Me

It's Mental Health Awareness Week and I can think of no better time to share one of the aspects of my life that I have had to learn to cope with.

Don't Touch My Glasses!

It is very easy to think of mental illness as being "something that happens to other people" but, in the same way that the health of our bodies fluctuates and changes during the course of our everyday life, so, too, I believe does the health of our minds.

This, in itself, is the very reason why mental illness should not be stigmatised and the reason why we should discuss it.  For example, most people suffer from anxiety of sorts.  It's just that it is on a spectrum, rising and falling along with the events of our daily life.

My own problem falls within, I believe, the area of an obsessive compulsive disorder.  I cannot bear people touching my glasses.  I know exactly what triggered this obsession.  A very unpleasant break-up, combined with a miserable job situation led me to focus on making everything all right by having the nose pads of my glasses 'just so'.  The fact that I can logically assess what started it, however, is no help whatsoever in dealing with it.

I went from compulsively checking the fit of my glasses to putting them on the tops of wardrobes in hotel rooms so that housekeeping staff would not accidentally touch them, thereby altering the fit.  If relatives were visiting, I would make sure I had contact lenses in so that there was no chance of my glasses being knocked when they hugged and kissed me hello.  If I went anywhere in a car, the glasses would have to travel in their special case in the glove pocket and the case had to be carried quite separately from my luggage so that they would not be knocked about in transit.

Today I have 4 or 5 pairs of glasses which sit on top of a chest of drawers, not in their cases because I cannot bear to fold the arms in case it alters the fit of the glasses.  I rotate the various pairs throughout the day.  I'm a lot better than I used to be.  Having kids has helped me enormously. You can't be cross with a child who knocks your glasses when giving you a loving hug and kiss, can you? But the first few times it happened I used to feel shaky and even a bit sick.

The husband is resigned to this and is understanding - up to a point.  My obsessions also extend to quite a bit of health related anxiety, extending to my teeth, jaw, back and any other bit which doesn't seem to be functioning quite right!

I tell you this because I want you to understand that it is OK to be like this.  This is what happens to humans when they are under stress and need loving understanding.

Something interesting happened, however, when I asked my blogging friends to share the strange rituals and habits that they live with on a daily basis - so that I could share them with you and help you to feel better if you are like me.

Some reacted with quite a lot of anger.  They objected to my using the word "quirk" to describe these behaviours.  They wanted to make quite sure I was not going to encourage the use of the term OCD as an adjective (for example saying "oh that's so OCD" to describe somebody fussing) because it is unfair and disrespectful to those suffering from conditions like this.

Fair point, however, we have to talk about mental illness so we can understand mental health.  We have to hold these conditions up to the clear light of day to educate and inform and to teach our family and friends to help us make our lives as rich and fruitful as possible.  Make no mistake,  they suffer along with us and they need coping strategies too.

And if we don't talk about things like OCD, how will we ever find the right words, the kind words to help people to deal with it?  Nobody would expect a cancer sufferer to keep their feelings to themselves and not discuss their illness, would they?  Our hospitals are not full of people stoically keeping their symptoms to themselves. Talking can be part of the cure - for the sufferer and their family.

What was incredibly reassuring to me was the number of bloggers who were kind enough to share their behaviours and I list some of them below so that you can see just how common it is to deal with anxiety by adopting certain rituals.

Gemma:  "I have to walk on the left side of people otherwise I feel very uncomfortable, it's even caused me to have panic attacks in the past."

Jadine:  "I cant leave the house without checking the door is closed/locked twice and the lights of off going round the place twice."  [www.thepunkrockprincess.com]

Gillian:  "I can't have people touch the insides of my tomatoes. Like in restaurants etc. Whole tomatoes are fine but if they touch the seeds,even with their gloves, I can't eat it."

Jade:  "Everything has to be in its place and I know if someone has moved something also on days out I have to plan it right down to times I have anxiety attacks if we are not in the schedule that I have it drives me mad that I'm like this but I can't change it."

Sarah Louise:   "My partner has bad OCD. He has to make sure every door, window etc is shut before we go out and he will stare at it talking to himself before he moves on to the next door or window. He takes absolutely ages to lock up but won't let anyone else do it. He will physically hurt his hands and fingers locking a door as he said he has to 'feel it locked when it can't turn anymore' until he can rest. He will stand turning a key in the door for ages and if you talk to him while he's locking up he has to do it all over again.

I have a lot of things. Dont like odd numbers... Won't let anyone else change my daughters nappy... It has to be a certain way right in the middle ( The fasten part from the side...its hard to explain). Matching socks. Things have to be central else I can't rest. My daughters cot canopy has to have no creases or bumps in it.... Clothes are to be hung on the line a certain way and folded a certain way. Whoo, could go on forever."

Natasha:  "Mad 5 pieces of loo roll for me, wash hands 3 times. But it's mostly 5 times on most things."

Elyse:  "I have to use the same numbers. Like my alarm is set for 08:08. If you head to my blog and blog page Sweet Elyse Blog I have to schedule them in for 13:13, 16:16 or 14:14 (at a push) and I can't attend appointments unless I have at least 7 days notice. That's just the start, I can live with these things and my friends and family have got used to my ''quirks''."

Charlotte:  "this is so random but I can't sleep in a room without opening and checking every cupboard and wardrobe twice, I have no idea what I am checking for but if I haven't opened, checked and closed the doors twice I just lie awake until I finally do! (www.everinmay.com)."

Charlie:  "I have lots. I eat a slice of bread from the bottom (the base of the loaf ) to the top. I can't bear uneven numbers when doing a workout, if something isn't balanced, I'll do more. I can't bear marks on a table in a restaurant, or crumbs if I've made the mess and will tidy it up. I always put shoes and socks etc on right foot first. Same if I'm shaving my legs"  "

Nikki:  "I eat all my food separately so if I have chicken peas and potatoes on my plate I eat the peas first then the chicken and finally the potatoes. I won't put ketchup on my plate until the food I need it for is about to be eaten."

Leslie:  "My thing is straight lines. Two objects next to each other must be parallel or I am not happy. Posters or photo frames on the wall must be straight or I will move them - regardless of where I am. All of my furniture has to be parallel with my living room rug for me to be able to relax (or at a 45 degree diagonal). I also have to wash my hands hundreds of times a day after touching things. Even if I have just washed them. Oh and I absolutely refuse to touch public toilet door handles... I've been known to wait by the door for 20 minutes or more for someone to open it for me when they come in."

Tina:  "I have to bleach my toilet three times a day, my rug has to line up with the sofa and the fire.".

As you can see, there are a myriad of ways in which our stress and anxiety can express itself through odd behaviours.  Nobody could deny the misery of suffering from OCD at a level where it is interfering with everyday life but equally, I think it helps to acknowledge those of us at the lower end of the spectrum may be suffering too.

I think I have just about got my 'glasses thing' under control but I know I'm stressed because I start to slip into my old ways - checking that the nose pads sit equally on my nose, for example.  Even my optician is used to my "glasses thing" and he tells me that he has other clients whose anxiety manifests itself in the fit of their glasses too!

So what exactly is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)?  Much helpful information can be found on the website of OCD-UK and on the NHS's own website.

Current estimates for the UK population are that there are potentially around 741,504 people living with OCD at any one time. A disproportionately high number, 50% of all these cases, will fall into the severe category, with less than a quarter being classed as mild cases.

OCD presents itself in many guises. It is not just hand washing or checking light switches. OCD sufferers may experience obsessions "which take the form of persistent and uncontrollable thoughts, images, impulses, worries, fears or doubts.

These thoughts are often intrusive, unwanted, disturbing, significantly interfere with the ability to function on a day-to-day basis as they are incredibly difficult to ignore. People with OCD often realise that their obsessional thoughts are irrational, but they believe the only way to relieve the anxiety caused by them is to perform compulsive behaviours, often to prevent perceived harm happening to themselves or, more often than not, to a loved one.

Compulsions are repetitive physical behaviours and actions or mental thought rituals that are performed over and over again in an attempt to relieve the anxiety caused by the obsessional thoughts. Avoidance of places or situations to prevent triggering these obsessive thoughts is also considered to be a compulsion. But unfortunately, any relief that the compulsive behaviours provide is only temporary and short lived, and often reinforces the original obsession, creating a gradual worsening cycle of the OCD." [source:  OCD-UK].

If you are suspect you are suffering from OCD or any other mental health related issue, please talk to your GP or visit the charity OCD-UK who have plenty of information about OCD and related disorders. Alternatively, there is the website of The Mental Health Foundation who are the organisers of Mental Health Awareness Week at www.mentalhealth.org.uk. For this year's campaign rather than asking why so many people are living with mental health problems, the goal is to seek to uncover why too few of us are thriving with good mental health.

If all this feels like too much, a starting point may be an honest chat with a trusted friend or family member.

And it doesn't matter which words you use to describe your anxieties.  Actions always speak louder than words, I find and being kind to yourself by seeking help is the first crucial step.

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Only 10% of Women Motivated To Lose Weight To Cut Their Risk of Bowel Cancer

April is Bowel Cancer Awareness Month and according to new statistics UK women are not considering their cancer risk when it comes to their weight.  In fact, only 1 in 10 UK women would be motivated to lose weight to reduce their chances of getting the disease.

In line with new 2017 NHS Digital statistics, 58% of women in the UK are currently overweight or obese, and 27% of women are currently inactive (doing less than 30 minutes of exercise a week). Maintaining a healthy weight is essential not just for overall health but also to help prevent cancer development. Despite this the latest research points to the vast majority of women in the UK not being motivated to lose weight to cut their risk of cancer.

The new research conducted independently on behalf of BMI Healthcare as part of its April Be Bowel Cancer Aware campaign reveals that 42% of UK women would feel embarrassed to tell someone if they had irregular bowel habits or blood in their stool, the two key warning signs of the cancer. The new figures raise the concern that women are putting themselves at increased risk of late diagnosis because they are too embarrassed to tell anyone about their bowel habits.

More than a quarter (27%) of women have or may have had bowel cancer related symptoms. Yet of these, 40% of women did not discuss their bowel cancer related symptoms with anyone – this includes just talking to a partner, friend or a family member.

Obesity and a high body mass index (BMI) ratio are strongly associated with an increased risk of bowel cancer. Additional body fat is classified by the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) and World Cancer Research Fund as a cause of bowel cancers. An estimated 13% of bowel cancers in the UK are linked to being overweight or obese. Bowel cancer risk is 46% higher in people with the largest waist circumference, compared to those with the smallest. Maintaining a healthy weight through diet and exercise is essential to lowering your risk of the 2nd biggest cancer killer.

Bowel cancer can affect both men and women of any age. It is the 4th most common cancer in the UK, and the 2nd biggest cancer killer, with someone dying of bowel cancer every 30 minutes in the UK. Over half of bowel cancer cases are diagnosed late, but an early diagnosis is crucial. To improve the number of early diagnoses, we all need to be aware of the symptoms, the national screening programme, and be confident in speaking about changes in our bowel habits.

The common signs and symptoms of bowel cancer include: a persistent change in bowel habits, especially going more often or looser stools; bleeding from the back passage (rectum) or blood in your stool; a lump that your doctor can feel in your back passage or abdomen (more commonly on the right side); a feeling of needing to strain in your back passage (as if you need to pass a bowel motion), even after opening your bowels; unexplained weight-loss or tiredness; pain in your abdomen or back passage; or a lower than normal level of red blood cells (anaemia).

The 2017 study was carried out in March 2017 and assessed 1,039 men and women in the UK, to gain the public's insights into the symptoms and risk factors of bowel cancer.

BMI Healthcare is working with the charity Beating Bowel Cancer, to help raise bowel cancer awareness throughout the UK. Our specialist team of Gastroenterologists, Colorectal Surgeons and Specialist Oncologists have put together a guide with everything you need to know to help you become more bowel cancer aware - to view and download our free Be Bowel Aware guide, video and infographics, please visit: https://www.bmihealthcare.co.uk/be-bowel-cancer-aware

Here's some expert advice from Mr Lee Dvorkin, Consultant General & Colorectal Surgeon at BMI Healthcare.

What is bowel cancer?

“Bowel cancer, also known as colorectal cancer, is a cancer situated anywhere in the large bowel (the colon or rectum). Bowel cancer is the 4th most common cancer in the UK and the second most common cause of cancer death with over 41,000 new cases diagnosed each year1. Bowel cancer is most common in the over 60's and is rare in people younger than 40 years old. The majority of cases develop from pre-cancerous polyps (tiny growths in the bowel), which if left untreated can, over years, develop into cancer.”

Who is most at risk of bowel cancer?

“The biggest single risk factor is age. More than 8 out of 10 bowel cancers are diagnosed in people aged 60 or over. So the risk increases as you get older. Other factors thought to increase the risk include smoking, obesity and eating excessive red meat, alcohol, animal fat and sugar. A reduced risk has been noted in those who exercise and eat more fibre and pulses. There are some other medical conditions that increase the risk of bowel cancer and these include; Ulcerative colitis, Crohns Disease and having lots of polyps (which are more common as you get older).”

If there is a family history of bowel cancer, should extra precaution be taken?

“Bowel cancer is very common so having a relative with bowel cancer is not unusual. The chance of getting bowel cancer goes up only if the family history is very strong. A strong family history means having several relatives with bowel cancer, especially if they are particularly young.

“Examples of a strong family history might be; having a first degree relative diagnosed before the age of 45 or having two first degree relatives diagnosed at any age. To have a strong family history, the affected relatives must all come from the same side of the family.

“If you have a strong family history of bowel cancer you may need to be referred to a genetics service. You will need to see a bowel specialist for regular colonoscopies to pick up any signs of cancer as early as possible.”

How is bowel cancer detected?

“Usually patients develop symptoms and go to see their GP. The GP will do a rectal examination and some blood tests and then send the patient to see a specialist in the hospital. The two most common investigations to diagnose bowel cancer is a colonoscopy (a camera examination of the large bowel) and a CT colonogram (instead of having the camera put inside your bowel, the doctor looks at x ray pictures of the bowel).

“Some patients without symptoms are diagnosed through the NHS. The Bowel Cancer Screening Programme is offered to everyone aged 60 to 69 years old (75 years in some areas). Every 2 years patients are asked to send a poo sample to the laboratory. If blood is detected in the poo a colonoscopy is offered to see if there are early signs of cancer.”

What treatments are available?

“The treatment depends on how advanced the cancer is when it is diagnosed. The mainstay of treatment for confirmed bowel cancer is an operation to remove the cancer and its surrounding lymph glands. The bowel ends are usually joined back together but sometimes a colostomy bag is required. Nowadays, these operations are performed by keyhole surgery and patients typically spend less than a week in hospital.

“Often, surgery is all the treatment that is needed but If the cancer is advanced chemotherapy is offered and this can last for 6 months. Surgery can also be used to remove certain cancers that have spread to the liver or lungs but this is not always possible.

“For cancer in the rectum, radiotherapy is often used to shrink down the tumour before surgery.”

If you are living with bowel cancer and would like to find out more about the changes you could make, the treatments available, please read here: https://www.bmihealthcare.co.uk/health-matters/health-and-wellbeing/living-with-bowel-cancer

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Things I Wish I'd Known About My Intimate Health When Young

Dear much, much younger self.

This is your 50-something self talking and I have some things I'd like to tell you about your intimate health, that intricate system of working parts that is capable of creating life and joy and wonder.

When you're young, with your biological clock ticking regularly and loudly, and with your fertility at its peak, it's easy to think that you will stay like this for ever.

Time stretches ahead of you like the horizon over a blue sea on a bright sunny day - never ending, full of hope and possibilities.

I'm here to gently remind you that there is a final destination to your journey.

I am now approaching the menopause - a time of reassessment and great change - the kind of hormonally charge experience you went through at puberty and which your daughter is about to experience.

I have to confess I am a little sad at this juncture because it means no more babies and I can see the creeping changes on my body - a little less collagen, a lot more grey hair.

But, like many strong positive women, I need to allow myself a momentary pause to bid my younger self farewell before I do what we women do - shoulders back, deep breath, head up, smile and FORWARDS!

And, in all honesty, nothing much else has changed.  I still need to keep caring for my body and taking care of my intimate health and hygiene, just as I always have.

Talking of which, here are a few things I've learned over the years that you would do well to remember.

Nobody knows your body like you do.

Not doctors, not gynaecologists, not consultants.  If you feel something is wrong, get it checked out.

The female body is still a mystery to many in the medical profession.

Painful as that is to write in the 21st century, you will find that doctors will generally diagnose any discomfort 'down there' as being Thrush or Bacterial Vaginosis.

Vulvodynia, Vaginitis, Bartholin's Cysts, Pudendal Neuralgia, you may come across all this things whilst consulting Doctor Google and you will find many women on internet forums who experience these things and who remain misdiagnosed for years.

Again, I say you have to take charge of your intimate health.

You need to treat your vagina with respect.

It does not need to be scrubbed and perfumed, just gently cleansed. Use a gentle wash such as Vagisil ProHydrate Intimate Wash (£5 for 250ml) especially designed for the unique needs of intimate skin, gynaecologist tested and gentle enough for daily use. 

The Vagisil ProHydrate range was developed after 5 years of research and clinical testing and has been specifically designed to relieve intimate dryness. 

The range includes Vagisil ProHydrate Internal Hydrating Gel, Vagisil ProHydrate External Hydrating Gel and Vagisil ProHydrate Intimate Wash and is available from leading supermarkets and chemists nationwide.

It's important to feel comfortable, confident and enjoy intimacy when you want to and 9 out of 10 women would recommend Vagisil ProHydrate to others suffering from intimate dryness. 

Cotton underwear is kindest!

Most of the sexy underwear you see is made of man-made fibres which don't allow the area to breathe. This can lead to irritations such as cystitis and thrush - not sexy!  Cotton underwear or at least panties with a cotton gusset are the way to go most of the time. As you get older, you'll definitely come to appreciate comfort more!

As your body changes towards menopause, there are some positives though:-

No more contraception

You can give up using contraception if you have not had a period for around two years if you are under the age of 50 and for around one year if you are over 50. 

But be careful.  Some contraceptive pills stop the mid cycle bleed (it's not a real period you know) making it well nigh impossible to work out what's going on.  See your GP and ask for a blood test but be prepared that you may have to come off the pill to work out if you are menopausal.

Having said that, STIs have risen in the older generation by over a third in the last decade so it makes sense to at least keep using a condom if you are not in a steady relationship.

No more accidental pregnancy

Need I say more?  No more worrying about accidental pregnancy or rushing to the chemist for the morning after pill.  Whilst you're in the tricky "has my menopause started" phase you might still find yourself buying pregnancy tests though!

No more period pain

Feminax tablets and a hot water bottle saw me through most months but oh, that aching, dragging feeling, not to mention the PMS symptoms.

No more stocking up on sanitary protection

It doesn't matter how many you buy, at some point you will find yourself without one just when you need it.  Or, you'll get your purse out at the checkout at the supermarket and a brightly wrapped towel will plop onto the conveyor belt.  

The truth is there are positives and negatives in every stage of your life and it is good to talk to other women and share your experiences and concerns.  There is no need to be shy.

Time passes in the blink of an eye and if there is one message that I would want you to take with you is that it's your life and your body - make sure you enjoy both.

Love,

*This is a collaborative post with Vagisil.

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Please support MEDAPTI - A Safer & Easier Way To Give Babies Medicine

I have just learned about a brilliant new invention by mum of two Dora Dyk. It is called MEDAPTI and it will make giving medicine to babies much easier.

Whilst I was lucky enough to have few problems with Caitlin and Ieuan in getting them to take medicine, for example from the plastic syringes that are supplied with infant medicines such as Calpol and Nurofen, many babies struggle - particularly babies with reflux.

I can recall occasions where I accidentally shot the medicine into their mouths too quickly making them cough. It's so easy to get it wrong when trying to administer medicine to a distressed, poorly little one. Upsetting for baby and mum.



Dora is seeking support and crowdfunding to get her invention to market. This is the last week of her campaign for funding (ending 6th April) and health professionals in hospitals such as Great Ormond Street, Alder Hay and Sheffield have already expressed an interest in MEDAPTI.

MEDAPTI could also be used to give medicine to the disabled and the elderly.

Here is her story. Please support her if you can.

My name is Dora and I am a mum of two boys. When they were little, I struggled to give them medicine safely and effectively, especially my second baby.

My first son was on reflux medication for a long time and I was always worried about hurting his tiny gums with the regular plastic syringe. I had a bigger issue with my second baby who completely refused to take the medication. He either spat it out, was sick on it or the medicine would just end up all over him, me or the floor which meant I never knew what dose he took.

It was heart breaking to see him so distressed. I used to cry with him a lot of the times because I was so overwhelmed with the whole experience. I just couldn’t find a safe enough solution. I used a medicine dummy which helped as at least I wasn’t worried about hurting his gums but as he didn’t like dummies, I had to use the plunger and many times accidentally shot it too fast down his throat and made him choke.

There were countless times when I would walk around the room rocking my baby to calm him down and I couldn’t stop thinking: ‘There has to be a safer way!” This is how the idea of MEDAPTI was born.



Why is MEDAPTI different from anything that’s out on the market?

* It directs medicine to the cheek which is the safest way as it prevents from choking. This way also helps to avoid taste buds and makes it harder for a baby to spit the medicine out which in result minimises the risk of baby taking an incorrect dose.

* It helps to keep the syringe in baby's mouth even if the baby is moving around or refusing to take the medicine, which also minimises the risk of baby taking an incorrect dose.

* It is soft, protecting baby's mouth and gums.

* It is simple and mess free.

* It only requires the use of one hand when dispensing the medicine, leaving you with a free hand to hold your baby.

A lot of people think MEDAPTI is just like a medicine dummy. It’s not. It might look similar to a dummy but it works in a different way and is suitable for babies that do not like dummies or bottles.



It has been just over four years since I first thought of MEDAPTI and what an exciting journey it has been! Challenging for sure BUT amazing! With no previous experience in product development, I had to learn it all step by step…intellectual property, design, manufacturing and so many other things!

I have to admit, juggling between kids, day job and MEDAPTI project isn’t the easiest thing and we have to make sacrifices as a family but I believe it will be worth it.

Fortunately, I have a lot of support and encouragement from my family and friends. My boys, 5 and 7 years old are my biggest supporters and my very valuable advisers J My youngest said to me the other day: “Mum, when I’m big, I’d like to do MEDAPTI with you.” My eldest came from school one day and said: “Mum, I invented something today!” It would be a dream to take them to a supermarket one day and show them MEDAPTI on one of the shelves! They would not believe it!

I am extremely proud of how far I got with the development of my invention. Articles about MEDAPTI were published in The Sun, The Mirror and second best-selling newspaper in Poland last year.

Just within the last two weeks, I was featured by ten different blog and baby sites, including Mummy Pages. I never thought that just the idea I had in my mind would travel across the globe for someone to write about it!

The more feedback I get, the more I realise that MEDAPTI could help so many people. Not just parents and carers of babies but also disabled and elderly. Something I am especially proud of is the fact that I had interest from health professionals in hospitals like Great Ormond Street Hospital, Alder Hay and Sheffield.

It just shows that giving medicine to babies is a real issue. One of my guest blog posts is also a proof of that. A mum blogger whose daughter was born with half a working heart said that MEDAPTI would have really helped with her baby when she was born. It’s incredibly moving to think that my invention could help those babies who need extra medication or anyone else who struggles with giving medicine.

This is why I desperately need your help! I am raising funds on Kickstarter so I can pay for the tooling and produce the first batch of MEDAPTI.

Please support me and PLEDGE. There are many Rewards to choose from. I will be forever grateful! The campaign finishes next Thursday, 6th of April at 8pm so there is not much time left!

Here is the link to my campaign where you can see a short video and find out more about me:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/400491693/1069786552?token=6da0111e

Please support Dora if you can.

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Review: The S+ - Your Personalised Sleep Solution By ResMed

It seems that the new frontier for managing and improving our health is sleep. Everyone is talking about how important it is.

Co-founder and Editor of the Huffington Post, Ariana Huffington, has even written a book about it entitled "The Sleep Revolution: Transforming Your Life One Night At A Time" in which she asserts that only by renewing our relationship with sleep can we take back control of our lives.

Gwyneth Paltrow's book "Goop Clean Beauty" contains a whole chapter on sleeping soundly and the effect of a lack of sleep on our hormones (clue, it can make us fatter) and I recently reviewed "Breathe Better, Sleep Better" by Anandi The Sleep Guru which offers ways to bring your being back into balance and regain your sleep by breathing better.

Those of us approaching menopause or suffering from stress and anxiety may find that our sleep is one of the first things to suffer.

So what if there were a gadget which monitored both the quality and duration of our sleep - and offered ways to improve it?

Even better, what if there were a gadget you didn't have to wear?  I don't know about you but wearing a fitness tracker in bed has always seemed a bit odd to me.

The S+ by RedMed is the world’s first non-contact, fully comprehensive sleep tracking system, which features patent-protected SleepSensor technology. It makes it possible to track, analyse and improve sleep at home without a wristband, electrodes or mattress strips.

“Sleep is arguably the most important thing we do in our day. It’s easy to underestimate the impact that lack of it can have on our overall wellbeing.” said Dr. Guy Meadows, Clinical Director at The Sleep School and author of "The Sleep Book – How to sleep well every night." “We know lack of sleep can be harmful to our physical and mental health, yet we are doing very little to help improve our sleep. With its unique features, the S+ is the perfect present for those looking to improve not only the quantity but also the quality of their sleep.”

The S+ by ResMed comprises a device that sits beside the bed, a cloud-hosted Sleep Mentor system, and a free mobile app (Apple iOS and Android).

Its features include:

*highly calibrated respiratory and bio-motion sensor to measure and analyse sleep stages

*recording of the movements caused by the expansion and relaxation of the chest with breathing, and overall body movements such as position changes, arm twitches and shrugs

*delivery of sleep scores and sleep charts to a connected phone or tablet,

*personalised feedback and suggestions to help users improve their sleep.

The S+ also has a range of features to help improve sleep:

There's Relax to Sleep which provides a choice of soothing sounds that synchronise with breathing patterns to help with the process of falling asleep at bedtime.

Then there's Mind Clear allows users to record a voice message or type a text note to help clear their mind when trying to settle to sleep.

And Smart Alarm allows users to set a window of time for the S+ to naturally wake them when they are in light sleep, enabling them to wake feeling more refreshed.

At first I wondered if this gadget was going to be a gimmick but one week on and I'm hooked.

For a start you wake each morning to a sleep score which rates the night of sleep you've just had. Set-up couldn't be simpler - simply download the app, answer some basic questions and then sync your phone wirelessly with the main unit (which you place on your bedside table).

The S+ has a series of lights which indicate what the unit is doing. For example, there's a green light to indicate that the unit and your phone are connected and a red light to indicate that they're not - simple!

I am happy to report that once you start the app working as you go to sleep the light goes out completely.

As someone who has to cover those annoying red standby lights on TVs in hotel bedrooms because they keep me awake, I was very happy to find no such problem with this gadget. (High maintenance - me?).

There's also a second port in the main plug adaptor for you to charge your phone at the same time which is very useful.  I have found this very handy as the kids have always commandeered the charging cables for their iPads.

The app will also show you your breathing pattern in real time which is fascinating.  I have no idea how the S+ does this but it's great.

The S+ will also give you noise and light levels in your room.

You need to start up the app before going to sleep and you will be asked about your caffeine and alcohol consumption for that day, how stressed you were and how much exercise you've done.  (Too much, too little, extremely and when the heck do I have the time - are strangely not admissible answers).

You then have the option to clear your mind using Mind Clear.  Simply tap and record a helpful note or text to yourself.  You can also use this if you wake up in the middle of the night and remember that you need to do something important like buy lightbulbs or rearrange your crockery in order of size.

It's a very useful function for us bloggers too!

Once you have answered the questions, simply tap to start the app (which very sweetly bids you good night) and drift off.

Once you awake, simple hit the app button to switch off and look at your sleep score (this becomes a bit addictive).

You'll know how much light sleep, deep sleep and REM sleep you had, plus how recharged your body and mind are.

Through the day, the S+ also does some subtle nagging my mother would be proud of - viz sending messages about the effect of too much caffeine on sleep.  I haven't had a message about alcohol or lack of exercise yet but I suspect it's only a matter of time.

If you want to relax during the day, the unit also has a range of peaceful sounds (for example the sound of the ocean) which you can play via the app.  These are designed for you to breathe in time to which has an automatically calming effect.  An extra benefit for a Tinnitus sufferer like me is that focusing on your breath takes your mind off your Tinnitus. And, as you might expect, sleep is something that Tinnitus sufferers really struggle with.

The S+ is a brilliant system which allows you to explore the quality of sleep you are getting and to make some informed decisions to improve it.

There's a difference between knowing you're not getting enough sleep and seeing that you didn't even get 7 hours for the past three nights.  Equally, we all know that too much caffeine affects our sleep but confessing to 6+ cups every day does make you wonder whether you should try camomile tea or decaf (the devil's brew) instead.

The contactless aspect of the S+ is, to me, its major advantage over fitness trackers. The unit sits in a metal frame but you can remove it and place just the white box on your bedside table.  You do have to make sure that the unit is positioned correctly and near enough your head to pick up your breathing but the accompanying instructions make it a doddle to work out.

I loved the app which is complemented by the website Mysplus.com, where you can log in and see all your graphs and statistics full size with more data and advice about improving your sleep hygiene.

I discovered that I was actually sleeping better than I thought I was but nowhere near as well as I could if I took more exercise and drank less caffeine.  Obvious but sometimes you need to see it in front of you and to have the gentle push to do something about it.

The S+ is available at £129.95 from Amazon and John Lewis - the price of a top of the range fitness tracker.  If sleep is your main health niggle, then I think it is a worthwhile investment.

For more information about S+ by ResMed, visit http://splus.resmed.com/ and follow @FixMySleep on Twitter.

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Will This Help Your Loved One To Reduce Their Smoking Habit?

It's a no brainer that giving up smoking is one of the best things you can do for your health. And we all know that smoking is an addiction which is hard to kick.

For many smokers, including my Dad, quitting is something they just cannot do and for us non smokers (or those of us who managed to kick the habit a long time ago), it is very frustrating to watch them indulge in the habit.

It's even more frustrating where there are children in the picture and I think most parents and grandparents would do all they could to avoid exposing their kids to cigarette smoke.

Since 2007 smoking has been banned in all enclosed public places in the UK including pubs, bars and restaurants and all enclosed work places as a consequence of the Health Act 2006.

The law changed in 2015 to make smoking in a car in the presence of children (anyone under 18) an offence with a penalty fine of £50 if you're caught.  It appears that actual prosecutions for this have been negligible.

So what can you do if you want to encourage a smoker to stop?  They will be well aware of the risks to their health and, in my experience, there's nothing like nagging a smoker to make them more determined to persist with their habit.

One of the best things you can probably do is to encourage the smoker to cut down. My dad limits himself to smoking his pipe after 1 pm.  Pushing the time horizon for that first ciggie of the day may help.

Other options to try are nicotine gums and patches or trying vaping.

Vaping is inhaling vapour from e-liquid through a personal vapourizer - a tobacco free version of the traditional cigarette. E-liquids usually consist of propylene glycol or vegetable glycerin combined with natural or artificial flavours.

The jury is out on the long term effects of vaping but studies so far seem to indicate that vaping is better for you than the traditional cigarette.

Here's what the NHS has to say on the subject of vaping. There are clear indications though that the benefits are for those who swop entirely to vaping. You can't vape and smoke traditional cigarettes and expect to see any benefit.

Newer research also indicates that you still should NOT vape if you're pregnant.

As Cancer Research UK says, what we have here is the principle of harm reduction, where even though vaping is likely to be better than traditional cigarettes, the practice may not be entirely risk free.

It should be remembered too, that vaping still involves varying degrees of nicotine and the practice was never designed as a quitting aid.

Anecdotal evidence suggests too, that whereas the cost of smoking traditional cigarettes could easily be in excess of £300 in the UK, vaping could cost around £30 a month - a significant saving.

The long term aim of any smoker should obviously be to quit the habit entirely but as a way of mitigating immediate damage to their health (and their wallet), vaping seems to be a viable alternative.

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Is Your Work Life Damaging Your Health?

Work can be tough for just about everyone. There's nothing particularly surprising about that. If it were easy and fun all of the time it wouldn't be called work, would it? It's completely natural to find yourself unwilling to even get out of bed from time to time. Of course, when that starts to be more of the rule than the exception, then there's a chance that you may have more of a problem than the standard job frustrations.

A really bad job can have a serious negative impact on your life in a lot of ways. It can take away a passion for something you used to care about, it can damage your personal relationships, and sometimes, if it's really bad, your job can actually end up being hazardous to your health. It might seem unlikely, but there's actually a much better chance than you might think that your job is damaging your body in some pretty significant ways. In order to help you prevent this from happening, here are a few ways that your work can damage your health, and what you can do to stop it.

The hours are too long



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There's an incredibly dangerous assumption made by far too many employers that their workers are always happy to do overtime. Not only that but many employees are made to feel as though they don't actually have any choice in the matter. People often think that they will be punished, passed over for promotions or worse, if they don't volunteer for every single piece of overtime that comes up.

Now, there's nothing wrong overtime in and of itself, but when it starts to take up huge amounts of your life, then it can lead to some serious problems. Exhaustion is one of the most common sources of workplace illness after injuries. If you're working something like fifty hours a week then you're not going to be able to concentrate, you're going to feel exhausted all the time, and it's going to negatively impact just about every aspect of your life. Not only that but studies have shown that people who work for ten hours or more a day are at increased risk of heart disease as well. Make sure that you speak to a member of human resources to find out what your rights are. You'll find that your employer can't penalise you just for wanting to work your contracted hours. Then you can take more time to rest, and you'll not only feel better, but you'll be a more productive employee as well.

You hate what you do

Few things in life are more frustrating than getting stuck in a job you hate. Spending eight or more hours a day doing something that you're not even remotely interested in can be enough to practically suck the life right out of you. Not only is it inevitably going to be very boring, but working a job like this can make you lose all sense of direction in life. Feeling like their job is pointless is one of the most common complaints among people suffering from depression. If you feel as though you're suffering from depression, then you should always speak to a professional, but you might also find that the best thing to do is to remove yourself from that job altogether. Of course, being unemployed and doing nothing isn't really going to solve the problem either. The best thing that you can do is to find a job that you really love. If you're the artistic type, then try something creative. Becoming a freelance writer or blogger is a fantastic option and gives you the kind of creative freedom that might be otherwise lacking. Or if you feel like you'd get more out of a job where you spent your time helping people, there are lots of nurses vacancies in hospitals all over the country! Being able to do something that you genuinely care about it going to help you find a much greater sense of direction and purpose in life, potentially helping to pull you out of that malaise.

Too much pressure



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Not everyone is meant to be a manager or business owner, and that's just fine. After all, sometimes you don't want your work to be your entire life. This is especially true if you have kids. With kids, you'll find yourself tired enough as it is without also dealing with employees, business finances and all of the other pressure and responsibilities that come with a high-level position. Stress isn't just something that can cause problems with your mental state either, too much stress and pressure from work can have a nasty impact on your physical well-being as well. Stress has been linked to heart disease, hair loss, weight gain, as well as many other alarming symptoms. If you feel as though the amount of pressure that your job is constantly dumping on you is causing you real harm, then it might be time to step back. Perhaps you need to drop down to a position with slightly less responsibility, or it might even be worthwhile dropping down to part-time hours in order to spend more time focussing on your family life. Whatever is best for you, it's a good idea to talk to your employer. The chances are that they'll be more than happy to support you and help you find an appropriate balance. This also might be a sign that you’re not working the right job. A career where you’re in charge of other people such a management role might simply be too much pressure and you’d be better off doing something with a little easier. Retail and service industry jobs allow you to stay busy and active without constantly piling on the kind of pressure than an office manager might deal with.

You're constantly sitting at a desk

Far too many jobs these days leave people just sat behind a desk for eight hours a day or more. Not only does this mean that many people are spending their entire days completely sedentary but it can also lead to some pretty serious back problems. The vast majority of people who work desk jobs and spend their days at a computer aren't sitting in a position that is either safe or comfortable. There are a few ways to deal with this. A standing desk is a great option and can also allow you to stretch your legs and stay active even while you're working. You can also get padding and back support for office chairs that encourage you to maintain the correct posture all day. Even something as simple and easy and just standing up and doing a short walk around the office every half an hour or so can work wonders to combat the stiffness and soreness that can often result from spending all day sitting behind a desk. There are also plenty of jobs that you can do instead that allow you to stay active. Working in a retail store allows you to be on your feet moving around all day and landscaping and gardening are often ranked as some of the healthiest jobs available.



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It's often surprising to people that many of their health issues can often be chalked up to their work life. Luckily, as this list shows, many of these things can be dealt with pretty easily before that become too serious. However, if you find that any of the symptoms that work can cause become severe or overly persistent, then it's crucial that you go and see a medical professional immediately. They will not only be able to advise you the best possible ways to counteract the effects of your job, but the doctor may also want to sign you off sick for a little while until you're fully recovered. There's no sense trying to push yourself too hard when all that's going to happen is that you're going to burn out and make things far, far worse in the long run. There's nothing wrong with needing some time away from work to rest and recover. Not only is it going to do you a world of good but it's also going to help you come back to work feeling more fired up and ready than ever.

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