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Thursday, 19 January 2017

My Problem Page Edition 3 2017

This week I'm talking about what to do when you can't agree about having children, what to do when the man you rejected for being a failure becomes a massive success and how to tell your girlfriend she has a moustache.

Mother Distracted Problem Page Edition 3 2017 Couple on plinth high up over city

If you would like any advice, feel free to treat me as your agony aunt. Just message me or pop a comment in the comment box at the end of this post. I promise to be gentle.

Here's this week's questions.

Q: Were you ever in love with someone who suddenly left with you without any explanation or closure and now hide their new relationship from you? Is the person ashamed at all? 

I feel like part of me has died inside and my health has faded so much in a year, I’m constantly torn between absolute hate and resentment for this person and the beautiful memories we shared. I’m not sure this would have went on so long had we not had a child together.

A: From your question it sounds as if your partner left you for someone else. Is that the case?

If so, the reason for their sudden departure is simply because they didn’t have the guts to tell you and couldn’t face the hurt they were about to inflict on you and your child.

Please don’t feel ashamed or that it was something you did wrong.

I know it is easy to bask in warm, fuzzy romantic memories but the harsh reality is that this person treated you incredibly badly.

I think you will heal and recover quicker if you acknowledge your anger and resentment and use that to make some changes.

Are you and your child adequately provided for? Do you know where your partner is - is he still in touch with his child?

I’m not sure if you are in the UK but here the CSA may help ensure he faces up to his responsibilities (although I am aware that this is not always a great success).

Do you have friends or family you can turn to for support and comfort?

You say that he hides his new relationship from you and I understand you want to see the woman who has taken him away but it won’t make you feel any better.

If anything she deserves your pity because if he did this to you, he could do it to her too.

Time to get strong again - reclaim your health and make sure you are provided for.

How is your child / children in all this?

They will not want to see their mum crumble (even though that is what you feel like doing).

They will want to see her take charge and ensure that their dad acts like a dad - even if he is a romantic waste of space.

A year is long enough to wallow. The pain will still be there but it’s time to get moving again.

Otherwise he will have won.

Q: How can I stop feeling awful about rejecting a guy (years ago) for not being successful enough when he's massively successful now? I'm now doing awful, career-wise.

A: Since he’s doing so well, it’s obvious your rejection didn’t hold him back and I wonder if you would feel so bad if your own career wasn’t in the doldrums.

Are you sure you aren’t projecting your own frustrations on to a past scenario?

You either have to let this go or perhaps drop him a line saying how pleased you are to see his current success.

There is a risk, of course, that he won’t be particularly thrilled to hear from you if he took your rejection badly but who knows, perhaps you’ll meet up and he can give you some career advice.

He might even know of some job opportunities for you.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. 

But don’t go on feeling bad. Concentrate on making your future brighter.

Q: How do I tell my girlfriend she has a moustache?

A: With great tact and sensitivity - assuming you really need to mention it at all because she will be well aware of her facial hair.

I’m assuming she already had this facial hair when you met? If it is a recent development, she made need to see a doctor to rule out something like polycystic ovaries.

Please do everything you can to help her keep her self-esteem. You could gently ask her if she has ever thought about removing her facial hair or talked to a doctor about it.

If we are just talking the odd straggler though then that is perfectly normal and your discomfort has more to do with your attitude to female body hair than hers.

Have others commented on her facial hair? If not, then I suspect the problem is yours, not hers.

Q: What should I do? I have been with my partner around 10 years and we moved abroad. I was promised work and am broke. He has money but struggles to help me. 

I was promised work here so I quit my old job and left my cat only to find that the job didn’t really exist. I can barely afford to go shopping (grocery) while he goes away to work for weeks. He gives me the equivalent of a part time job at minimum wage. If I leave the relationship I will have to start over with nothing

A: I am sorry to hear that you have been badly let down with your job.

I also wonder if you are staying with your partner simply for financial reasons.

Are there no part time jobs you could apply for? Waitressing, retail work, bar work?

It sounds as if you are sat around moping and just subsisting on the ‘pay’ your partner gives you.

A man is not a meal ticket you know.

It doesn’t matter if he’s away for weeks. That does not stop you taking a course, furthering your education, starting a business from home or seeking part time work.

It may not be the dream job you were hoping for but it’s better than waiting to be ‘rescued’.

You say you are abroad - have you had to learn a new language? If so, then there are books and nightclasses you could take.

You may meet some new friends which would lift your spirits.

Is there any reason why you couldn’t get another cat?

I would also suggest that before you make a drastic move to take up a job you make sure you have everything in writing - a signed employment contract.

Contractually, you may possibly have a claim against the firm who let you down but this should have been addressed when it became clear the job wasn’t there.

It’s time to make some big changes and living off your partner’s hand-outs isn’t making you happy.

I suspect your partner isn’t happy either at having to support you if you are making no effort to get another job and get your life back on track.

Why not write a list of everything you’d like to achieve this year and set a few goals for yourself. 

You’ll feel a whole lot better once you are taking some positive action.

Q: Should you still get married if you disagree on having children?

A: It’s a very personal decision which only you can make. 

What would be a mistake is to marry in the belief that the one who doesn’t want children will change their mind. 

Very often people don’t. 

Is it you or your partner who does not want children? Are there specific reasons? 

For example are their objections to do with finances or religion? Are there medical conditions which may be passed on through pregnancy? 

You really need to understand the objections and their origin to be able to assess whether an agreement can be reached. 

If having kids is a deal breaker for you and your partner is adamant that they do not want children, then, sad though it is, I would prioritise my own long term happiness and seek a partner to build a family with. 

It is better to have the conversation before you fork out for a wedding though. 

I’d also say that even if the other partner promises a ‘one day’ scenario when all their objections will be gone (they’ll be the right age, have money, etc), there is still no guarantee. 

Having children is for many a fundamental part of a relationship and if it is for you too then I’m not sure this particular relationship is the right one.

How would you have responded to these questions? I'd love to know. You can find more advice on my problem page.

Disclaimer: All materials included in this post are intended for informational purposes only. This post/information is not intended to and should not be used to replace medical or psychiatric advice offered by physicians or other health care providers. The author will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages arising therefrom.
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Wednesday, 18 January 2017

Pay your kids to eat their greens? Try these tips instead.

We've all been there.  Sat at the table watching junior push two kernels of sweetcorn and one lonely green bean around the plate whilst trying to ignore the sound of retching.

It's a constant battle and one that can only be won by persistence and, possibly, according to a new survey, bribery.

Caitlin & Ieuan trying out Infruition Water Bottles
The terrible twosome trying out Infruition Water Bottles
We get to the stage where we will do anything to get the little blighters to ingest something that actually grew and later on I'll tell you my huge mistake when it came to getting those veggies into my kids.

But should we be bribing them with cash?  This is a suggestion that comes from Tam Fry, head spokesperson for the National Obesity Forum and honorary chairman of the Child Growth Foundation.

Fry's proposal comes hot on the heels of a YouGov survey last week that revealed some worrying statistics. One was that almost a third (29%) of parents in Scotland have abandoned adding greens to their children’s plate at some stage.

In a way, it’s unsurprising: in another 2015 study, only 21% of Scottish adults were said to eat the recommended five portions of fruit and vegetables per day.

And I'm sure the rest of the UK is no different.

Mr Fry's proposal is likely to divide opinion.

We know how good vegetables are for us and their importance in maintaining our health and avoiding diseases like cancer, heart disease and diabetes but this has little meaning for our kids at their age.

Of course, parents can be extremely devious at sneaking in veggies, hiding cauliflower under cheese sauce, for instance, or chopping tiny nuggets of vegetables into soups, quiches and casseroles.

The recently-launched Eat Better Feel Better campaign from Healthier Scotland aims to encourage parents to save money by eating healthier food. It also lists recipe ideas to ‘beat the teatime tantrums’, a downloadable Food Lab which introduces fun into the meal prepping process and information about healthy eating events throughout Scotland.

Or you might want to try smoothies. A "milkshake" can hide a multitude of fruit and veg plus, thanks to more sophisticated blenders these days, the fibre, vitamins and minerals remain intact.

To improve the taste, you can add real fruit, natural fruit juice or coconut milk to the blender along with your chopped vegetables.

Here are some tips you might want to try:

Superhero veg to the rescue

Give the vegetables superhero names - mad I know but we renamed spinach "carrot guardian" and Ieuan ate it. That might just be my son though.

Hide veg everywhere

Hide veg in as many sauces as you can. The Husband whips up a meatball sauce which contains any leftover veggies he finds in the fridge and the kids haven't cottoned on to this yet.

Soups and stews are your friend

The kids will eat soup if there's plenty of warm crusty bread to dip in it.

Don't fuss

If you create a battle of wills you'll be sat there a long time.

Model the behaviour you want to see 

You can hardly insist your kids eat their veg if you're a stranger to salad yourself.

Caitlin & Ieuan Hobbis
Well they seem to be growing ok....

Get kids to help with the cooking

Teach your kids about the importance of healthy eating by involving them in food preparation.  A home-made pizza is easy to make and can be decorated with veggies such as cherry tomatoes and peppers.

Make food portions manageable

Don't swamp their plates with huge portions.  It's easier to get the kids eating veg if you start off with small, manageable portions.  Notice I said 'easier'

Make food fun

.... although my Potato of Doom was not exactly a crowd pleaser

Linda Hobbis' Potato of Doom - A Jacket Potato In The Shape Of A Hedgehog
Look, I tried, OK?
Don't give up

Continue to serve up veg in the hope that they will eventually try them.

Play the long game

Remember they'll probably grow up to love veg.  After all you did, didn't you?

My biggest mistake?

Not serving them foods with home-made gravies and sauces early enough. It's too easy to serve up fish fingers, chips and peas with just a dash of tomato sauce, but they get used to 'dry' food.

If you can get them used to gravy then you're just a blender away from supplementing it with veggies.

Ieuan loves his gravy now and I wish I'd got him eating it a long time ago!

If all else fails, there are also numerous ranges of supplements such as Super Kids’ Vibrance, which is formulated by green food specialist Vibrant Health. This one was the winner of a 2016 Taste for Life Essentials Award and is packed with nutrient-rich greens, essential trace minerals and a high number of probiotics and digestive enzymes. It also provides a dozen vitamins, including A, C and D3.

Caitlin Hobbis eating Shepherd's Pie
Caitlin has no idea how many veggies she's eating
Ultimately, conditioning kids to eat their greens requires a conscious effort – and it’s best to get youngsters into the habit of munching veggies from an early age.

If you don't, you may well find yourself having to take Mr Fry's advice and cough up the cash - which in Ieuan's case would be very, very expensive indeed.

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Tuesday, 17 January 2017

Will You End 2017 Richer Or Poorer? Time To Plan Your Year With Saga

Readers of this blog will know that I am a big fan of budgeting and putting a bit aside for a rainy day. This is something that the Husband and I drill into the kids on a daily basis.

There's nothing like teaching them the power of anticipation and the value of saving up for the things they really want.

Financial Planning - pile of pens and coins

I think I inherited this from my parents.  I can still hear dad's voice behind me when about to squander my pocket money on a copy of Jackie or some Black Jack chews (4 for a penny!). "You don't really need that, do you?" he used to say.

Mum and Dad were both born in 1939 just in time for World War II and having experienced rationing their attitude to saving is a lot more stringent than that of most Millennials.

When you're young you always think you'll live for ever and you really can't envisage the day when you'll need your pension - or what desperate circumstance might arise when you'll need to get your hands on some cash quickly.

Financial planning - Ieuan adding Minecraft to the family weekly shopping list
Minecraft is Ieuan's number one shopping item
When you become a home owner (which is increasingly looking a rather remote possibility for Caitlin and Ieuan), it is often a bit of a shock to be landed with bills for replacing a boiler, rewiring the electrics or fixing a leaky roof!

Equally, though, you don't want to spend your life always worrying about whether you should be enjoying yourself.  We are only here once (depending on your personal beliefs of course).

Life is too short to wallow in guilt about treating yourself occasionally.

Planning your financial year is the answer.  This January Saga are running the #SagaPlanYourYear Campaign.

Saga offers a range of products and services exclusively for the over 50s, including insurance, holidays, money and the UK's best selling monthly magazine.

They are encouraging us to pick up our pens and planners (some of us still haven't got to grips with Google spreadsheets) and create a budget which will cushion us against financial shocks whilst still adding a frisson of excitement to 2017.

And I'm sure we are all looking forward to a more exciting and happier year than 2016 which seemed to chiefly feature Brexit, the terrible war in Syria, the looming nightmare of Donald Trump and the grim reaper happily cutting swathes through celeb land.

Those of us over 50 are aware that retirement is, if not exactly looming on the horizon, something that needs thinking about.  Saving is pretty critical in these years and you really don't want to be dipping into your savings pot to fund large items of expenditure.

I'm sure most of us don't want to start taking out large, and often expensive, loans either.

One way to release funds for things such as home improvements like a conservatory or adapting a property to meet mobility needs, or that long promised cruise, is by equity release.

Now obviously you will want to make sure that you take independent financial advice to look at your finances as a whole and to plug any gaps which might need urgent attention - especially your pension and possibly funeral planning.

But equity release may well work for you. This is where you obtain funds derived from the value of your property whilst still being allowed to live there.

Saga helps those over 55 with its equity release service. Used sensibly, this can help you gain greater control over your finances.

So, what action points are on the Hobbis Family's planner?

Financial planning - Caitlin writes out the family financial plan
Caitlin plans to raise money by selling the family's endless supply of coat hangers
Here's our top 5.

Plan for Christmas

Still far and away our biggest expense.  This year we're trying to save £3 a day up to the first of December which should give us £996.

Pay Off Our Holidays

We have two weeks in Devon booked with Toad Hall Cottages and need to pay off the balance around March.

If our funds will stretch I'd like to take an extra week towards the end of the summer holidays (when everyone is in dire need of something to remove the boredom and boost the spirits!).

I'd also look to have a few shorter breaks and take a lot more day trips.

Budget for carpet

Just the word tends to make my soul sink but it has to be done.  We took all the carpet up hoping that wood floors would help with allergies and reduce dust.

They do, but the house creaks in the night like an old galleon and it's impossible to creep about without risking waking the kids.

Plus we're hoping to dampen the sound of our next door neighbour's occasional belief that he lives in a night club in Ibiza and ramps up the volume of his stereo accordingly.

We'll make sure we time our purchase around bank holidays and general sale periods when there are often great deals to be had.

Reduce our food bills

The key to this is menu planning and shopping list writing. It's something I'm still trying to discipline myself to do.

Otherwise it's too easy to wander round Tesco throwing 'things you fancy for tea' in a trolley which, 9 time out of 10, wouldn't make a nutritionist very happy.

Then there's Ieuan's "Mr Kipling" habit but since Mr Kipling's cakes are rapidly reducing to the size of microdots, it might be time to get baking again.

Save more by using vouchers and discount codes

If you avoid impulse buying and plan your purchases sensibly you can often save by buying through cash-back sites like Topcashback which is free to use.

So that's our top 5. I think it's a good idea to sit down with the family (and the kids!) and discuss financial objectives for the year.

It's never too soon for little ones to grasp that their parents have to work for their money and that there are some things which have to be paid for before Roblox, Minecraft and anything with a puppy printed on it.

Have you planned your financial year yet?
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Monday, 16 January 2017

Review: The TomTom Touch Fitness Tracker - Sleek, Simple, Effective

There are so many fitness trackers on the market that I have to be honest here and say that the TomTom Touch Fitness Tracker hadn't crossed my radar, so to speak.

TomTom Touch Fitness Tracker


But I am very glad it has.

I am what you might call a spasmodic exerciser but although I am not a gym bunny, I do make sure that I am active every day.

As it turns out, the TomTom Touch tells me I am nowhere near active enough!

The TomTom Touch is a water-resistant and comfy-to-wear fitness tracker which sits in a flexible silicone strap that you wear like a watch.

It is a great gadget to use when you want to overhaul your daily routine to include more exercise.

It captures steps, active time, calories burned, heart rate and sleep time.  You can use it to measure your fat and muscle mass percentage and monitor your heart rate throughout the day to get an idea of your fitness level.

The TomTom Touch Fitness Tracker


You need to press a button to wake the screen up.  Then you scroll up and down on the front of the tracker unit to get to the other screens.

Swipe up for current step count, calorie count, distance travelled, last sleep duration and exercise duration.

Swipe down for the body fat scanner, heart rate sensor and exercise logger.

The TomTom Touch syncs with an online app to track your progress and for the body composition logger, the result can only be read on the app.

It is water-resistant so you could wear it in the shower but not go swimming wearing it.

The TomTom Touch does not have GPS so if you're looking for a tracker to go running outdoors with, this may not be the right choice for you.

I found the tracker great for my daily school run trips and family outings to our local parks and nature reserve.  I definitely found myself wanting to walk further to rack up those steps!

Mat, Caitlin & Ieuan Hobbis in Alexandra Park, Penarth
My Coaching Squad - Tough But Cute
This tracker has an optical heart rate sensor and a body fat scanner.

The heart rate monitor is only really designed to check your resting heart rate so, again, if you want to check your hart rate during vigorous exercise, you may need a different TomTom tracker.

I did struggle a little with the fat scanner.  To get it to work you have to place your finger on the sensor and hold it there for 10 seconds. You then get a reading of the amount of fat and muscle in your body which you can see on the app.

It took us a while to work out that your finger needs to be parallel to the screen rather than vertical and it sometimes takes a couple of attempts to get the tracker to acknowledge the reading.

It does this by giving you a tick if it has worked or a cross if it hasn't.

I was, I confess, mildly horrified by my fat reading of over 30% and if that isn't an incentive to back away from the Welsh Cakes, I don't know what is!

It also has a vibration motor, which can signal very basic call and text notifications from your phone.

The app "MySports' allows you to track your heart rate readings and set goals for your sport activity. via a selection of pie charts and graphs.

The only function I didn't use was the sleep function as I dislike the idea of wearing a tracker while I sleep but I may yet try it out for the odd "mum nap"!

Whilst this tracker may not set the world on fire, for those of us who are getting on track with fitness trackers, it's a great entry-level unit which doesn't cost the earth and presents the information in basic, but easy to understand ways.

Linda and Mum in The Star Inn, Dinas Powys
Training intensively at The Star Inn, Dinas Powys
I suspect that lots of the bells and whistles on some of the TomTom Touch's rivals wouldn't be used anyway.

An addition I would like to see which the FitBit Alta has is an alarm for when you have been sedentary for too long.

I also found the TomTom Touch very comfortable to wear and not too chunky to cause a problem with sleeves in coats and jackets.

It is a great little tool to literally have up your sleeve throughout the day to keep an easy on how mobile you are being.

It isn't a high fashion item but it does look quite stylish and it does have a comparable price tag with its rivals - £89.99.

One small gripe, although the battery charge is supposed to last up to 5 days, I found I had to recharge it every 3 days or so but the USB cable is permanently attached to my laptop so I can easily charge it each day if needed.

We found that using a fitness tracker is a great way to encourage the whole family to take more exercise - especially your kids.  You can talk to them about how much we should all be moving each day - the minimum being 5000 steps.

In summary I would say this is a great 'entry level' fitness tracker and ideal for someone who is flummoxed by too many bells and whistles and just wants something to "do what it says on the tin".
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New Releases, Free & Bargain Books Link-up Week 3 2017

New Releases Free & Bargain Books Link-up Badge


How are you all this week?  I'm a bit late with the book linky this week and it will be resuming its usual slot on Fridays shortly.

We're all back in the swing of things and have managed to miss the snow.  If you were affected by the "Thundersnow" I hope it didn't create too much chaos for you.

Today is Blue Monday - the most depressing day of the whole year so you might want to lose yourself in some romance fiction or a great thriller. You'll certainly find these in this week's linky.

Don't forget that I still have plenty to be won on my competitions page and don't forget my problem page here.

Happy bargain and freebie book hunting on this link.

Have a great week!

Sharing the Love of Books
Enjoy our selection of New Releases / Free & Bargain Books this week

Authors please feel free to add your own books
Readers please free to add your own finds
(any genre except erotica welcome)

This weekly link up is hosted by Beck Valley Books & these awesome book loving blogs...
Monday
 Life as Leels | IrishdaisylovesRomance | Book Babble | All Romance Reader
Tuesday
It's My Side of Life | Celticlady's Reviews | First Time Mommy Adventures 
Wednesday
Beck Valley BooksCinnamon Hollow Reviews
Thursday
Miki's Hope | Nicki's Nook
Friday
Ebook Addicts | I Love Romance | Colorimetry | The Ultimate Fan Blog Mother Distracted
Saturday
Totally Addicted to Reading | 3 Partners in Shopping | Angie's Angle I Create Purty Thangs | Wishful Endings
Sunday
Lynchburg Mama | LibriAmoriMieiAli - The Dragon Slayer | Wondermom WannabeDeal Sharing Aunt | Rambling Reviews 


For Pre-orders post - PRE-ORDER / genre / title /author
For New Releases post - NEW / genre / title / author
For Free Books post - FREE / genre / title / author / end date 
For Bargain Books post - SALE / price / genre / title / author / end date
(Strictly no Erotica please.  Steamy romance is fine but watch those covers people, incase any underage child is viewing it!)

Click here for this weeks awesome selection!
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Sunday, 15 January 2017

7 Tips For Surviving January 16th - "Blue Monday"

Welcome to Blue Monday.  I say this ironically, of course, because it is the day when the post-Christmas gloom hits us with full force.

We're cutting back on booze, ramping up our exercise and facing our failings head-on. Again.

Young woman with an umbrella walking through a suspended walkway

Yes, Blue Monday (16th January this year) is THE most depressing day of the year.

So how to survive it?  You can find my own tips here but here are some extra ideas to put the colour back into your cheeks.

TIP 1: Change your perspective

Clayton John Ainger, award winning author of The Ego's Code (Panorama Press £15.99) says that negativity is in fact, a very natural and normal process.

“By labelling negativity as bad, we provide it with more fuel. By changing our perspective on negativity and the meaning behind it will undoubtedly have a positive effect on your life. Feeling down is not meant to hinder you, it is there to learn from, so embrace your negativity and move on”  

TIP 2: Book a winter sun break

The summer months are the most popular time for sun holidays, but there are plenty of opportunities to escape to warmer, sunnier weather during the winter months. Booking a sunny break can increase your levels of serotonin which can make you feel more calm and focused as well as making you feel more productive when you return to normal life.

TIP 3: Book a staycation

If your bank balance doesn’t allow for an extravagant holiday abroad, why not book a long weekend away instead?  A change of scene will do all the family good and just a couple of days away can leave you all refreshed for a reasonable cost.  

TIP 4: Go back to bed

It is ok to admit you are having a blue day, so don’t bother trying to fight it! Once you’ve finished work for the day, transform your bedroom into a tranquil sanctuary where you can take the time and rest you need.

Stephen Volkins from Big Brand Beds has this sound advice.

“Make sure it is dark and a comfortable temperature with a source of light air flow, and remove light sources like TVs and LED clocks. Take a tip from Feng Shui and make your room softly curved and coolly coloured – avoid sharp angles and dominant colour schemes in order to calm the mind and spirit for a really relaxing night’s sleep.” 

TIP 5: Identify your negative thinking triggers

What sends your thinking into a spiral of negativity? Does seeing your friends going on great nights out on Facebook make you feel inadequate? Or perhaps you have some people in your life who are negative and that brings you down. It could even be the news on the TV before bedtime that send you to bed feeling unsettled or bad. Take some time to identify your triggers and then you will be able to avoid them.

TIP 6: Put the kettle on

Tea has a range of psychological and physical health benefits that can improve your wellbeing. The humble cuppa has been used for centuries across the world to help with relaxation, improve spirituality, nourishment and healing and there are many speciality teas which contain health promoting ingredients.

TIP 7: Challenge the rut

Carla Watson and Shelley La Mancusa, authors of Getting Out of a Rut (released 24th January ) suggest that the only way to combat self-improvement is to concentrate on who and what you surround yourself with. They say:

“It is hard enough sometimes for us to get out of bed in the mornings and shower ourselves with compliments, without the aid of other people commenting on the choices you make. A supportive network of friends and family is vital to achieving inner happiness and avoid negativity.” 

So there you have it - 7 more tips to cheer you up.  What coping strategies do you have for surviving Blue Monday?

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Friday, 13 January 2017

Staying Afloat In A Rising Tide Of Debt: Practical Tips That Will Give You a Lifeline

From time to time, we all go through periods when everything seems to be against us, and we just can’t make our money stretch far enough.

One minute you’re fine, the next you’re wondering what else could possibly go wrong. If you’re trying to stay afloat in a rising tide of debt, these practical tips will hopefully provide you with a lifeline. Stay strong. There are ways of getting out of debt, and getting your life back on track.

Image credit


Budgeting for life’s expenses

In life, there are certain things that are more costly than others. Planning a wedding, buying a house, raising children, caring for a pet, and running a car all cost money. Sometimes, being a responsible adult is an incredibly expensive business.

It’s wise to budget, even when you’re not anticipating parting with large sums of money. If you draw up a budget every month, it gives you a clear picture of how your finances are looking, and reduces your risk of overspending. Budgeting is even more essential when you’re saving for a deposit, buying wedding dresses, titanium rings, and top hats and tails, and paying for new school uniforms. If you’ve got an expensive few months ahead, make sure you get to grips with the sums.

Taking out and paying back loans

Many of us take out loans to cover unexpected costs or help towards home improvements, buying a new car or paying for a honeymoon.

If you are considering borrowing money, don’t rush into making a decision. It’s essential to compare offers you have on the table, and to ensure that you understand the terms of the agreement, and what it means for your finances going forward.

Make sure you can afford the repayments. If you fall behind, this can affect your credit rating, and you may face legal action. Once the repayment schedule begins, factor this into your budget. Try and avoid taking out loans with very high interest rates. You’ll end up paying much more than you borrowed, and you may find it difficult to keep up with the repayments.

Asking for help

If you’re in debt, the sooner you ask for help, the better. Debt can spiral out of control rapidly, and before you know it, it’s affecting every aspect of your life. See a financial adviser, and they will be able to help you to draw up a strategy.

If you work for yourself and find yourself running into difficulty, don't forget to ask your accountants for advice.  Their experience will stretch further than just business matters and they may be able to help in the restructuring of your debt and with the putting in place of plans to help your business survive this tricky period.

If you have multiple debts, it may be advisable to take out a debt consolidation loan. Another option is to investigate an IVA (individual voluntary arrangement). Don’t be an ostrich. If you bury your head in the sand, the amount you owe will only increase. Sadly, this is one of those problems that won’t simply disappear with time.

A growing number of people are in debt. It’s always best to try and prevent getting into trouble, and budgeting is a really useful tool. If you’re already in debt, try and nip the problem in the bud. If you can clear debts quickly, there’s a much lower risk of you coming unstuck. When you’re in debt, you often find that the issue gets worse very quickly because of late payment and interest fees. Ask for help, and try and be open and honest with the people closest to you.
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