Beck Valley Book Tour: Nipped In The Bud Not In The Butt By Debra Vey Voda-Hamilton

Conflicts over animals are among the toughest to resolve. People form deep emotional bonds with their pets—after all, they're members of the family—so when a dispute involves animals, people get just as angry as if the clash were over their human children. When they've finally had enough, they head to court where the law treats the pet as property—as just a thing.


But there's a better way: mediation. Whether your conflict is over who gets the cat in a divorce, how to deal with a barking dog, or any other issue, a neutral mediator can bring you and the other person together so you can hear each other out, acknowledge each other's feelings, and resolve your dispute. Not only can mediation settle the conflict in less time and with less expense than litigation, but it can save and even strengthen relationships.

In Nipped in the Bud, Not in the Butt: How to Use Mediation to Resolve Conflicts over Animals, litigator-turned-mediator Debra Vey Voda-Hamilton introduces her proven techniques for addressing your conflict, working out a mutually satisfactory solution, and ensuring the well-being of the most important party—the beloved pet or animal in need.

Available to buy from....

Amazon.com    Amazon.co.uk   Barnes and Noble

Resolving Animal Conflicts Without Litigation
a way to address conflicts between people involving animals

"This book really resonated with me. Debra does an excellent job providing a realistic approach to conflicts over pets. When I opened the book , I immediately noticed Debra’s passion with regards to animal conflict resolution. She does an excellent job explaining the history of mediation, and the significance of mediation in resolving conflict."

"A Must Read for all of us who love our companion animals!!"

"If you love or work with animals, you must read this… A comprehensive, yet easy guide to avoiding litigation and achieving success through mediation in disputes over animals. This is a must read for pet owners, veterinarians, trainers, barn managers, grooms (in barn settings) pet groomers, pet rescue and adoption organizations and anyone else who wishes to avoid the pain and pitfalls of court battles"
A sample of reviews received 

About the Author

Debra spent 30 years as a practicing litigator, but she is now a full-time mediator and conflict coach for people in disputes over animals.

She works both nationwide and internationally. She has far-reaching experience in resolving interpersonal conflicts involving animals, and she is also well-known in the world of purebred dogs as a top breeder and exhibitor of Irish setters and long-haired dachshunds.

Debra speaks widely on the topic of how mediation techniques can help people address conflicts without litigation. She has presented at veterinary schools, the American Kennel Club, the American Veterinary Medical Law Association, the Society of Animal Welfare Administrators, the Living With Animals conference, state bar association Animal Law Committee meetings, and animal interest group meetings.

Debra also writes a blog for Hamilton Law and Mediation and is a contributor to the Solo Practice University blog and the Canine Chronicle. She has been featured in Forbes, the Wall Street Journal, US News and World Report, and the New York Times.

As the principal at Hamilton Law and Mediation, PLLC—the nation’s first solo mediation practice dedicated to helping people resolve conflicts over animals—Debra uses alternative dispute resolution to help address disagreements over the family pet during divorce, neighbors’ arguments over a barking dog, and confrontations between clients and veterinarians and other professionals who work with animals. HLM also looks forward to helping animal rights and welfare advocates see the benefit of having a conversation about the best interests of all parties—especially the animals—to resolve animal-related disputes.

Debra is admitted to practice law in all New York State courts. She is certified as a mediator and collaborative professional and has worked with various court-based mediation programs in New York City (Queens-Community Mediation Service) and in Westchester and Rockland Counties in New York (Westchester and Rockland Mediation Centers).

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My Review

I wanted to read this book for two reasons.  Firstly I know exactly how much a pet can mean to you.  I lost my beloved cat Samson a few years ago.  Secondly, I spent over 13 years working for various law firms (in marketing, not law) and I was really interested to read how mediation can solve so many problems on a much more cost -effective basis than litigation.

Debra explains that many divorce cases run into trouble when 'custody' of the pet is raised. Our pets are members of our family and mean as much to some as their children.  Rather than go to litigation where the court makes a decision which may benefit one party at the cost of the pet's happiness and where costs can run into thousands,  mediation offers a chance to come up with a solution which takes the pet into consideration and preserves the relationship between the warring spouses - at least so that the pet is taken care of.

Debra is an experienced lawyer and a mediator who is able to facilitate problem solving between people who just can't agree who should have their pet - or at least might agree if their views were at least heard and acknowledged.

Mediation is also very useful to settle disputes such as those which arise between vets and their clients, or neighbours who have had all they can take of barking dogs.

Debra offers fascinating case studies and techniques to help you deal with conflict yourself.  I have to say a lot of her advice would work just as well with bickering kids.

She offers 6 tactics for mediation which she calls "Stop, Drop & Roll" - 1.  stop talking and listen, 2. drop the need to be right, 3. let what the other party says roll off your back, 4. address the conflict, 5. keep the relationship and finally, 6. acknowedge and appreciate the other party.

All techniques which I can use on a daily basis - and I don't have a pet at the moment!

It is upsetting enough to find yourself in a relationship which is breaking down, whether romantic or with your neighbours.  Nipped In The Bud shows that using mediation is a brilliant way to handle the situation whilst being heard, getting your needs met and working out collaboratively what the best solution for the animals involved may be.

And all this without spending unnecessary money on legal fees.

That in itself makes the book worth its weight in gold.

Highly recommended.

Follow the Book Tour

I received this book to review through Beck Valley Books Book Tours, all the opinions above are 100% my own.

NOW FOR THE AUTHOR'S GIVEAWAY

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Ending on Tuesday 29th November at 11.59pm EST

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Tasty Family Recipes From Bright Horizons Family Solutions

Bright Horizons, one of the UK’s leading nursery networks is encouraging parents to get into the kitchen with their kids and spend some quality cooking time together.

Bright Horizons operate over 200 nurseries in the UK and Ireland, many of which are managed in partnership with employers. They also offer back-up dependant care for children and adults, and a range of work-life supports

Their nurseries aim to provide children and families with naturally inspiring, exceptional care and education for the early years - and cooking together is a brilliant way to teach kids key life skills, as well as the benefits of co-operation and teamwork!

To help with this, they have produced a Family Recipes cookery book which though short, contains a tasty range of family-friendly recipes such as Chicken Paella, Butternut Squash Risotto, Summer Fruit Muffins and, as tested by us, Seaside Carbonara.

In fact these very recipes have been thoroughly road tested in one of their nurseries which offers day care in London so it was up to Caitlin to step up to the hob with me to create a tasty Monday night tea.

We were sent a copy of the recipe book and a lovely apron by Eat Sleep Doodle that kids can colour in. This was Ieuan's favourite part of the activity!

If you'd like to try the recipe, you can find it on Bright Horizon's website, along with some other great family recipes.

Seaside Carbonara

Ingredients

400g Spaghetti
200g Courgettes
2tsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
2 Cloves of Fresh Garlic
418g Pink Salmon
150ml Full Fat Yoghurt
60ml Whole Milk
1 Fresh Lemon
3tbsp Fresh Chives
Pinch of Black Pepper
1l Water

Method

1. Cook pasta in boiling water.

2. Add diced courgette 2 minutes before end of cooking time.

3. Drain and reserve water.

4. Return spaghetti and courgette to pan.

5. Meanwhile heat oil in pan and add crushed garlic.Cook for 1 minute.

6. Drain and remove bones from salmon. Add to garlic in pan.

7.Add yoghurt and milk and warm through.

8. Grate lemon and squeeze juice.

9. Add 1/2 of juice lemon juice 1 tsp of lemon rind.

10.Season.

11. Pour over pasta and add 4 tbsp of reserved cooking water and warm through over a low heat.

12. Serve.

We found this simple to prepare - Caitlin did the chopping.  Our only note of caution would be to make sure you take the pan off the heat before you add the yoghurt to avoid curdling.

You could also replace the fresh Salmon with tinned to save a few extra pennies.

So there you have it - a quick, tasty tea that the whole family can help to make.

(We did get Ieuan to lay the table).

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Is It Possible To Be Lovers As Well As Parents?

When you’re expecting your first baby, couples often make a promise to each other. They promise they will never lose sight of their relationship. And they promise that parenthood won’t change them as a couple. Then reality hits.

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Parenthood does change you in ways you never even imagined. It changes your relationship too. But that needn’t be a bad thing. We all change and evolve throughout our lives. It’s still possible to be in love with each other as well as our children. It just takes a little more organisation.

Carving Out Time

Somewhere in the chaos of working, caring for children and the house, you need to carve out a little time for the two of you. For example, when the kids go to bed. Not every night, of course. The reality is that after a full day of work, sorting the tea and the kids’ homework; you’re not fit for anything. All you want to do is watch mindless telly with a glass of something red. But maybe once a week or every fortnight would work? Perhaps you could leave this until the weekend when things are less fraught.

Turn off your phones and switch off the TV. Focus entirely on each other. Talk about your day and what’s going on in your lives. Rather than eating with the kids that night, eat a late supper just for the two of you. Purchase a special bottle of wine and maybe even light some candles. If your partner isn’t into feminine fragrances, opt for a man candle instead. The point is to do something different and little bit special.

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Date Night

Date nights can take a little more planning. You have to arrange babysitters and all of that needs to be set up in advance. But it’s not impossible. Try to arrange for the babysitter to arrive a little earlier to give you time to get dressed. If your usual home attire is a pair of lounge pants and t-shirt, it’s good to dress up for each other and make an effort.

Plan somewhere fun and special for your date. Go to the cinema if that’s your thing, or the classic dinner and movie. Try and cut off from the kids. They’re well looked after, and you will be contacted if there are any problems. Resist the urge to keep checking your phone for texts and missed calls. Focus entirely on your partner.

Keep Talking

When we become parents our priorities change and rightly so. Children become the focus of our attention. They become the centre of our world. But within that world try to keep a little attention for each other. It could be as simple as always greeting each other and having a conversation when you get home from work. Ask each other about the day and really listen. If one of you is particularly stressed, make some adjustments to ease their burden. For example, arriving home a little earlier and putting the kids to bed. Or, taking on more of the household chores. Be attentive and observant. The important thing is to keep communicating.

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Surprise Each Other

Keep things fresh and interesting by surprising one another. This could be something simple like a small gift or cooking their favourite meal. Breakfast in bed at the weekend always goes down well. Change things a little and keep it exciting.

Dress For One Another

You get up at 6:00 am to sort the kids, arrange the school run and arrive at work on time. You work a full day, barely stopping for lunch and then face the evening commute. You finally arrive home after 6:00 pm and it doesn’t stop there. You still have the tea to prepare, the pots to wash, the kids’ bedtime, etc. So all you feel like doing when you get home is changing into a pair of comfy PJs or lounge pants. Nothing wrong with that. But perhaps once in a while change into something different. Dress up a little for your partner. It doesn’t take too much extra effort, and it will be noticed.

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Spend Time Apart

As well as being together it’s also important to spend time apart. I’m not just referring to work here. It’s important for you each to have your own hobbies and interests and meet up with friends. Being together all the time isn’t always healthy. Everyone needs their space and time to themselves. And when you are together, you’ll find you appreciate each other more.

So, is it possible to be lovers as well as parents? Of course! Like any successful relationship, it just takes work and a little planning.

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Mighty Little Thirsty Quenchers - It's Ribena Minis

I've been wondering for a while why Ribena, one of the UK drinks brands I grew up with hasn't produced their drinks in mini bottles rather than cartons.

I find the bottles much easier to carry and generally they contain a larger amount of drink which is important when kids are rehydrating after biking, Taekwondo or ballet!.

But now Ribena has launched Ribena Minis, made specifically for frantic family life with a specially designed 'Less Spills, Less Mess' cap on a brightly coloured plastic bottle (recyclable of course).

The caps have been developed, based on in-depth research with parents, to minimise spillage by allowing liquid to be released only when gently squeezed.

There are three flavours with real fruit juice and no-added sugar - Brilliant Blackcurrant, Oh So Yum Orange and Amazing Apple & Mango.

The drinks come in 2 sizes, 200ml and 250ml, ideal for day trips, lunches and after-school snack and if there's a little leftover, the resealable bottles mean that they can be opened and closed whenever needed.

Caitlin tried the Amazing Apple & Mango and Ieuan tried the Brilliant Blackcurrant and they were happy to accept Ribena's challenge to prove that the new caps are leak-proof by holding the bottles upside down over their heads for 5 seconds.

The flavours are what you would expect from Ribena and whilst we tested the 200ml size, Ieuan wanted a bigger bottle - he's a blackcurrant fiend - so the 250ml would have been better for him.

The caps certainly do the job and little fingers would not be able to open them.  Ribena state that the caps are not suitable for children under 3.  You do have to push the cap in and then lift it and it took my two a while to get the hang of it because the caps are quite stiff. You might find that a grown-up is needed to open the drink for a younger child.




The Ribena Minis range is available in major supermarkets and the drinks are available in multipacks of 8 (RRP £2.99), 4 (RRP £1.99) and single 250ml bottles of Apple and Mango and Blackcurrant are available at RRP 85p.

It's nice to have a new drinks option for the kids' packed lunches and day-trips.

You can find out more at @RibenaUK on Facebook and Twitter.

*PR samples were sent for the purpose of this post.

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Win Stoopido Game From Drumond Park - The Game Of 1000 Silly Faces!

Looking for something a little more exciting than Charades after your Christmas lunch this year?  Drumond Park’s hilarious new Stoopido (rrp £17.99, for ages 8 to 100!) is a downright silly game that the whole family will absolutely love!

The point of the game play is the opposite of what you think – the winner is the person who is the only player left without a full face covered with quirky colourful eyes, ears, noses, hats and foreheads!

This fast and furious new game is about as stupid as it gets! Everyone dons plastic glasses, the dice is rolled, and if Nose, Eyes, Hat or Ears come up, the players race to hang the relevant colourful cardboard pieces on whichever player they choose.

As play proceeds, everyone gets loaded up with ever more comical items, for a totally mis-matched look. The winner is ‘the last man standing’ – the only player left with a gap or gaps on their glasses.

And I have one copy to give away to one lucky winner.

Entry is via the Rafflecopter widget and terms and conditions apply (on my competitions page).  UK entrants only and the giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Friday 25th November.

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For more information and stockists, visit www.drumondpark.com

And for grown-up giggles and to share adult games experiences, why not go over to their ‘Not so Quiet Night In’ blog . You can also find out more on Facebook or Twitter.

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Helpful Christmas Stocking Filler Tips For Kids And Pets

It's 7 weeks to Christmas Day and as usual I am running late on my self-imposed deadline of 1st December for getting all my Christmas shopping done. No - I haven't even started!

It's not the big presents that pose the problem - it's easy (reasonably!) to set expectations about what Santa might or might not be prepared to lug across the skies in his overloaded sleigh.

But if, like us, you give your kids a Christmas stocking as well as their main present, you're probably familiar with the last minute running round, head scratching and the worry that you've spent almost as much on the stocking contents as you have on the main present or worse, forgotten something really important.

As a child, I had one of dad's walking socks which was usually filled with the same thing each year - an apple, an orange, some Walnuts and Hazelnuts (in shells), a tiny box of miniature liqueurs (!) and a tube of either Rowntrees Fruit Gums or Fruit Pastels.  Occasionally, Santa would go mad and supply Smarties or Chocolate Buttons instead.  There might be a teeny tiny book of poetry (one year I got a miniature copy of Shakespeare's MacBeth too or, memorably, one year we had a cap gun.  My sister and I went through a phase of pretending to be Charlies' Angels and arguing about who was Jill and who was Kelly.  Sabrina was always a bit too scary.

So I suggest you set a firm budget and write a list.  If you've got more than one child you have to make sure the financial value is the same (kids somehow know these things) but here are some ideas. These will obviously vary depending on the age of the child but Caitlin will be 9 and Ieuan will be 7.

These lists need not be gender specific of course but simply reflect what my two would like.

You can pick up lots of cheap and cheerful stocking fillers in places like Poundland, Wilko and ASDA - there is no need to break the bank if your budget is tight.

Girls Stocking Fillers

Nail wraps / Nail varnish
Knickers
Gift card (e.g. New Look, Claires Accessories)
Notebook or diary
Flavoured lip balm
Scented pens (have a look in Smiggle or Flying Tiger)
Chocolate coins / selection box
Craft items - stickers, writing sets, crafting kits
Purse / key ring / mobile phone charms
Hair bands / bobbles, glitter spray
Puzzle books
Bubble bath / hand cream / body lotion /body spray
CDs or iTunes voucher
Shopkins / Magiki Mermaids
Fun socks
Skipping rope

Incidentally one of the best presents I remember from my mum was a washbag full of perfume and cosmetic samples - mini body lotions, soaps, a travel toothbrush and a pretty flannel.  You could do the same by saving up the freebies that come with magazines or your hotel toiletries.

Boys Stocking Fillers

Torches, keyrings
Craft kits / tracing paper / colouring books
Pencils and paint kits
Dinosaur cards / Top Trumps
Toy cars
Book marks
Mini Lego sets / Playmobil Figures
Minecraft Guide
Character Flannel (Ieuan's outgrown Spiderman, now it's Star Wars)
Activity sticker books
Character bubble bath or toiletries
Yoyos
Horns / bells for bikes
Plasticine
Paper aeroplane set
Jigsaws
Marbles
Chocolate coins / selection box

And then there are our pets to consider.  Not everyone bothers of course but for many their pet is an equal member of the family and gets treated at Christmas too.  There's the additional stress of what to give the pet who has everything!

You can't go wrong with new bedding, leads or collars, a new food or water bowl, a squeaky toy and some doggie or kitty treats.  But please, no chocolate!

Actually, now I think of it, Christmas shopping is a lot easy for your pet than your kids, isn't it?!

Do you budget for a stocking for your kids or pets?  How to control the costs and what do you include?  I'd love to know.

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Win New "Milkshake! Fabulous Friends" DVD - Peppa, Thomas, Pip, Ben & Holly, Fireman Sam & More

Channel 5's Milkshake is releasing a new DVD via Abbey Media entitled “Milkshake! Fabulous Friends" this Monday 7th November.

This unique compilation of the very best childrens shows from Channel 5's Milkshake features two hours of entertainment from some of their biggest stars, such as Peppa Pig, Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom, Lily’s Driftwood Bay, and Bob the Builder.

Featuring in this new collection are:-

Peppa Pig – In ‘The New Car’, Peppa's family car breaks down. While it is being mended, they borrow a shiny new one from Grandad Dog's garage.

Thomas & Friends – In ‘The Thomas Way’, Harold the Helicopter breaks down, so Thomas and Duck take him to Sodor Search and Rescue for repair. Thomas wants to show them the sights but Duck isn’t keen. They need to learn to work together.

Pip Ahoy! – In ‘ Alan Loses His Bounce’, Alan starts the day full of music and bounce, until Norman the Snail tells him that bouncing is silly. Pip and Alba organise a surprise to cheer him up and get his bounce back.

Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom – In ‘Books’, Queen Thistle reads the children a story which inspires a question. They can't find the answer in the magic books in the castle, so go to the Wise Old Elf in the Great Elf Library.

Fireman Sam – In ‘Jupiter on the Loose’, the Pontypandy Pioneers visit the fire station, and Norman ends up accidentally driving Jupiter through Pontypandy. Sam races to the rescue!

Lily’s Driftwood Bay – In ‘Stop That Pudding’, Lily puts her newly discovered set of measuring spoons to good use when Nonna takes a tumble and needs a rest, leaving Salty to step in and cook an important pudding.

Bananas In Pyjamas – In ‘Power Cut’, Morgan accidentally causes mayhem in Cuddlestown when he plugs in too many lights and speakers in preparation for Camembert's birthday party.

Little Princess – In ‘I Want My Treehouse’ Little Princess builds a treehouse, then discovers Algie and Maid are also building one in the tree next door! Soon they are in competition to see who can build the best one.

Bob the Builder – In ‘Lofty Lets Loose’, Bob and his team are building a new giraffe enclosure at the zoo, but Lofty's excitement about meeting his favourite animal gets the better of him.

Wanda and the Alien – In ‘Starfish’, Wanda and friends help a hermit crab to find his starfish friend who was swept out to sea, aided by a giant whale and some important fish.

Toot the Tiny Tugboat – In ‘Toot's Funny Side’, Toot arranges a funny No Talent Show to help Paula the Trawler overcome her embarrassment when she makes a mistake.

Toby’s Travelling Circus – In ‘Ribbons and Strings’, Toby is inspired to create a ribbon-and-strings act in the show after witnessing the havoc caused by Momo and Freddo earlier with a yo-yo.

Wissper – In ‘The Slow Slow Loris’ Sonia the slow loris asks Wissper to help her speed up as the chattering monkeys keep taking all the best fruit first. Wissper decides to enlist the help of Monty the meercat.

Paw Patrol – In ‘Pup Pup Boogie’, Ryder, Chase and Rubble use their dance moves to help repair the tracks before the next train arrives.

There's plenty there to keep your little ones occupied and I have two copies of the DVD to give away.

Entry is via the Rafflecopter and terms and conditions apply (on my competitions page).  UK entrants only and the giveaway ends at 11:59 pm on Friday 25th November.

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Good luck!

More free to enter competitions at www.theprizefinder.com and www.loquax.co.uk.

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