New Releases, Free & Bargain Books Link-up Week 44

How are you all this week?  The clocks have now gone back here in the UK and we're re-adjusting to darker evenings. Time to get the scented candles, cushions and throws out!

I love this time of year and it's not surprising that one of the biggest trends in home and lifestyle books is the Danish concept of Hygge. Hygge is the Danish ritual of enjoying life's simple pleasures which they have down to a fine art.

There's nothing better than curling up with a hot chocolate and a good book and you're sure to find some in this week's link-up.

Don't forget that I still have plenty to be won on my competitions page including that Elizabeth Shaw Chocolate Hamper worth £50 and I have some fab children's games and DVDs coming up.

And don't forget my new problem page here.

Happy bargain and freebie book hunting on this link.

Have a great week!

Sharing the Love of Books
Enjoy our selection of New Releases / Free & Bargain Books this week

Authors please feel free to add your own books
Readers please free to add your own finds
(any genre except erotica welcome)

This weekly link up is hosted by Beck Valley Books & these awesome book loving blogs...
Monday
 Life as Leels | IrishdaisylovesRomance | Book Babble | All Romance Reader
Tuesday
It's My Side of Life | Celticlady's Reviews | First Time Mommy Adventures 
Wednesday
Beck Valley Books | Cinnamon Hollow Reviews
Thursday
Miki's Hope | Nicki's Nook
Friday
Ebook Addicts | I Love Romance | Mother Distracted | Colorimetry | The Ultimate Fan Blog
Saturday
Totally Addicted to Reading | 3 Partners in Shopping | Angie's Angle | I Create Purty Thangs | Wishful Endings
Sunday
Lynchburg Mama | LibriAmoriMiei | Ali - The Dragon Slayer | Wondermom Wannabe | Deal Sharing Aunt | Rambling Reviews 

For Pre-orders post - PRE-ORDER / genre / title /author

For New Releases post - NEW / genre / title / author

For Free Books post - FREE / genre / title / author / end date 

For Bargain Books post - SALE / price / genre / title / author / end date
(Strictly no Erotica please.  Steamy romance is fine but watch those covers people, incase any underage child is viewing it!)

Click here for this weeks awesome selection!

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My Guide To Avoiding On-Hold Telephone Hell

Have you ever wondered how much time we spend waiting for our telephone calls to be dealt with?  As a nation, we Brits are no strangers to queuing but with the increase in call centres and automated telephone systems, there's no such thing as a 'quick call' anymore.

There's nothing worse than being kept waiting on the phone!

And it's probably no surprise to learn that "your call is valued" was recently voted the most irritating phrase to hear whilst waiting for your telephone call to be dealt with.

The survey by Which? found that the most useful information was

* Being told average call waiting times (33% of respondents)
* Being informed of a caller's position in the queue (32%)
* An offer of being called back (30%)

The preferred choice of backing track was classical music - although brace yourself - I am already hearing reports of Christmas music starting to irritate callers across the UK.

Anyone who has braved the telephone system at HMRC (average waiting time 47 minutes!) will know the combination of hope and annoyance well.  You daren't put the phone down because what if your call is about to be miraculously answered?

It certainly doesn't feel as if your call is valued, does it?

So is there anything we can do?

There are now online companies who will help you find the most appropriate telephone number for you in the particular area you are looking for - for example, banks, broadband and mobile providers and utlities, or government departments such as the Department for Work and Pensions.  Who wants to wait for hours on end to sort out their benefit claims or queries?

Or you could try these:-

* have all the information to hand

You might find it useful to start a home file for, say, your internet or utility provider with a list of direct lines and contact names to have to hand before you phone.

On the front of the file, I would place a large sticker which has your account number so that you don't have to go routing around to find it.

It's also worth keeping a list on your PC (mine is handwritten in a book for safety) of internet account passwords - tip - don't make your password "password" or if it's numeric "0000"!

For example, when I contact my domain name provider, not only do I have to give a customer number and a password but I also need to give them a 4 digit pin code.

Many banks will have 'memorable questions' as part of their online security so it is worth recording your answers to these as well.

* Call off peak 

It's often pointless trying to call first thing Monday morning or last thing on Friday afternoon unless you want your position in the queue to be closer to 10 than 1.

* Know who you want to speak to

Is there a contact name with their direct telephone number on any correspondence?

* Find out how much your call is likely to cost.  

Here's Ofcom's guide to phone charges.  Numbers starting with 0500, 0800 and 0808 are free but other business numbers starting with 08 are chargeable business numbers.

It's worth finding out how much your call is likely to charge you before picking up the phone!

* Go online

Sometimes it's quicker to route your query via a website and lots of companies now offer online chat or a virtual assistant who can answer basic queries. You'll also save on heavy call charges (see above).

* Email instead

If you do have any correspondence, is there an email address you could use - ideally to a named contact rather than info@company.com?

I sometimes think an email is more likely to be opened and actioned quickly simply because bosses can monitor their employees inboxes to check that work is being done.

And what about the calls made to us from companies?

I am sure you are familiar with the automated dialling systems which plague us with silent calls or those recorded messages about insulation schemes or PPI (probably soon to be replaced with information about reclaiming your bank overdraft charges).

You could register with the Telephone Preference Service which is free.  This is the official central opt out register where you can record your preference not to receive unsolicited sales or marketing calls.

It is a legal requirement that all organisations (including charities, voluntary organisations and political parties) do not make such calls to numbers registered on the TPS unless they have your consent to do so.

But, whilst our data is still being sold from the Electoral Roll and companies where we have not 'opted out' of allowing our personal information to be used, (DVLA for example), relying on the TPS alone is unlikely to stop the deluge of cold calls.

If you are a carer or are looking after your elderly parents, you may want to consider a new scheme which aims to protect the elderly from cold calls by creating a trusted callers list and then having receptionists block any calls not on this list.  The scheme does come with an additional cost of £20 per month and the need for an adapted phone.

Until many UK companies get to grips with call-handling, consumers are going to have to get savvy and plan their calls with military precision.

And pray that we're not listening to "Fairytale of New York" from now until Boxing Day.

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Starting A Blog? Here's What I Invested In

It seems like everyone is starting a blog these days - they are everywhere! One of the reasons for this is that it is possible to earn at least a decent supplementary income from your writing - and some bloggers manage to make blogging their full time job.

Part of the appeal is that blogging has few start-up costs - you just need a laptop, an idea of what you are going to write about and your target audience.

I started my blog for free on Google's Blogger.com and I've been there ever since, although many bloggers prefer the versatility of Wordpress.

It's amazing, actually when I think about the skills I have had to learn to blog.  Many of these were already under my belt from my background in marketing but here's just some of the things that bloggers do daily.  It's easy for many newbie bloggers to assume you write a few articles and then are inundated with freebies but it's really not like that!

Core blogging skills

* writing, editing, proof-reading
* market research - particularly in to the keywords which are likely to drive readers to your site
* photography and photo-editing
* video production
* branding and design
* accounting and tax (if you earn money from your blogging you must declare it to HMRC
* social media - creating and maintaining your accounts and using them to promote your blog posts
* pitching to and working with brands
* negotiating your fees
* advertising and PR
* statistical analysis - you need to understand where your traffic comes from, who is driving it and why

As you can see, blogging is not dissimilar to running a full time marketing department.

There are costs involved though, if you want to improve the professionalism of your site.  These are the things I have invested in.

* a decent laptop with a good sized screen and keyboard.  I'm a trained touch-typist (from my personal assistant days) and I can't type quickly on a teeny tiny keyboard.

* a custom URL from Godaddy.com. Blogger will give you a blog address which has .blogspot in which lots of PR companies don't like. Buying a custom URL - mine is motherdistracted.co.uk - allows you to look more professional whilst still retaining the security of having someone else host your site.

* a subscription to Buffer - an application which allows you to schedule your social media posts.  I love Buffer because it is easy to use but there are a number of rival apps like Hootsuite.

* a subscription to Boardbooster - an application which will repin your pins to Pinterest and shuffle your boards for you to gain maximum exposure.

* a subscription to Picmonkey - a genius photo editing application which allows you to edit individual photos and create collages.  Some bloggers prefer a rival application called Canva

* business cards (I got mine from Vistaprint) to give out a bloggers conferences and meet-ups

* a mobile phone with a decent camera - lots of bloggers go the whole hog and invest in expensive cameras but I've managed to get by with a smartphone.  The Husband gave me his iPhone 6S when he upgraded recently and I love it.

It's easy to get carried away with all the bells and whistles and there are several really good books on blogging, such as The Million Dollar Blog by Natasha Courtenay-Smith or The Ultimate Blogger To-Do List by Dana Fox and endless courses about all aspects of a blogger's craft to tempt you to part with your pennies.

But if you are just starting out with very little cash to spare, you can find lots of support in an excellent Facebook group - UK Bloggers.  You'll find bloggers are a friendly bunch who are always generous with their advice. Before you shell out, just ask for their very valuable advice - many of them have been blogging for years and are highly experienced.

Talking of which, if there is anything you'd like to ask, feel free to pop a question in the comments box below.

If you are thinking of taking the plunge with your own blog - try it!  You may never look back.

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Keeping Warm And Cozy With Style This Autumn

The summer is well and truly over. We have already had a few cold days, and can expect many more, so now is a good time to update your autumn wardrobe with some warm clothing.

Right now, there are some great deals available, so it is a good time to buy some of the more expensive items like boots and coats. If you can wait a week or so, you may be able to pick these items up in the Black Friday sales. Many retailers drop their prices by more than 50%, but just for one day.

Stylish long coats

This year, long coats are back in vogue. If you are looking for a smart coat for the commute, you will easily find what you are looking for. Most designers have opted for single-breasted cuts, which look particularly smart.

There are also some nice casual styles available. Pared down parkas and classically cut bomber jackets are available in most stores, as well as duffle coats with a modern twist.

Stylish boots

When it comes to footwear, low heels are still in fashion. There are high heels available, but they are mainly party shoes. Boots wise, full length is the way most designers have decided to go. Most are close fitting, and very chic, so they look great with the classically cut, long coats that are available, this year.

Jumpers

Given the changeableness of the weather, layers are the best option. Having a cardigan or jumper available to put on over the top of a long-sleeved blouse or t-shirt is always handy.

There are some nice looking women’s jumpers available online, and on the High Street. Baggier cuts seem to be all the rage, this year. But, if that is not your style, do not worry because there is also closer fitting knitwear available.

Lengthwise, the majority of the jumpers are mid calf, which means they are very flattering, as well as cosy. If you want something a little different, there are also some nice looking crocheted jumpers out there.

Nightwear

The fact that the weather is colder is not all bad. Getting everybody into their pyjamas early, snuggled up on the sofa with some snacks, and watching a movie together is a great way to while away the evening.

When it comes to women’s pyjamas, there is no shortage of choice. Onesies are not as popular as they once were, but most designers have included at least one in their nightwear collection.

Loose fitting pyjamas that are made from natural breathable fabrics, like cotton, are everywhere you look. But, there are still some nice silky, lingerie style nightdresses, as well as shortie sets on sale.

Christmas presents

Clothing always makes great Christmas presents. If you have a friend, or family member, on a tight budget, buying them a pair of boots or a good coat is a great idea. The chances are they would not be able to afford to buy something like that new themselves. As a result, that type of present is especially welcome.

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Firework Lovers - Will Your Private Display Be Breaking The Law?

It's Bonfire Night on Saturday and I'm sure many people are planning small get-togethers with family and friends for a few fireworks, but did you know that as an organiser of these events you will be subject to the 2004 Fireworks Regulations?

The days of just a humble sparkler in the back garden are long gone

Event insurers Arag.co.uk are warning private firework party organisers about the legal responsibilities and risks that garden displays entail ahead of Bonfire Night - and there could be stiff penalties handed out to amateur pyrotechnicians who breach these regulations.

ARAG’s checklist for anyone planning garden displays this weekend is:

• Keep it at home - It has been illegal to set off fireworks “in or into any highway, street, thoroughfare or public place” since the Explosives Act of 1875

• Adults only - Possession of category 2 (garden) and category 3 (display) fireworks in a public place by anyone under the age of 18 is also an offence

• No pro, no show - Only pyrotechnics professionals are legally allowed to buy or possess category 4 (public display) fireworks

• Observe the curfew - Private firework displays must normally end by 11pm but the curfew is extended to midnight on November 5

You can find more safety tips for bonfire night, including a downloadable guide at bonfire-night-safety.co.uk.

The penalty for breaching the regulations is a fine of up to £5,000 or up to 6 months in prison. Such offences can also be dealt with through on-the-spot fines of £90.

Anyone hosting a private party or setting off fireworks could also face civil action if a guest is injured by a firework or the bonfire.

And of course there's the potential distress to our pets.

This is, of course, all well and good but I hope that these regulations are enforced.

I also think it's time to supermarkets and other major retailers to review their policy on selling fireworks direct to the general public.

Having listened to fireworks being let off in the streets around me in the middle of the night for days now, I suspect there are quite a few who would agree with me.

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My Problem Page - What Was I Asked In Week 44?

This week I'm talking about the best way for a mistress to end an affair, how to deal with a man who lies about his age and advising a husband whose wife's patience with him has run out.

If you would like any advice, feel free to message me or pop a comment in the comment box at the end of this post. I promise to be gentle.

Here's this week's questions.

Q: My wife claims I don't care about her, don't listen, and that I'm stagnant. I don't want her to feel held back and unloved. What can I do?

A: Firstly I think you need to remember that you are not wholly responsible for your wife’s happiness.
That, to a larger degree is hers and it sounds as if she is blaming you for her unhappiness.

What makes her say you don’t care about her or listen to her? Are you dismissive? Do you switch off or belittle her problems?

There’s a difference between hearing and listening and it sounds as if she is not getting the answers she wants from you. Is there a central issue here that is not being addressed? Are you out of work, struggling for money, trying for a baby?

What is it your wife wants to do - because what I’m picking up is a lack of action on both your parts.

All you can do is reassure her that you do love her, listen to her and offer suggested solutions with your support. But she will have to take action herself - and as long as you are there to help her, then you will have done all you can.

It’s not fair for you to take all the blame for her low mood.

Q: I think my boyfriend needs to focus on himself. Should I break up with him? We’ve been together for 3 years.

He’s depressed and desperately wants to get out of school but it doesn’t seem like he exerts his best effort. He can’t seem to motivate himself. I’ve honestly tried helping, but my efforts were often in vain. Now, I just want him to be happy and be the person he wants to be.

A: I think you’ve answered your own question. When we say someone needs to focus on themselves, we’re essentially saying “for heaven’s sake leave me in peace”! 

There’s no shame in admitting you’ve had enough you know. 

The most important thing is to end the relationship with kindness. 

If you don’t want to end it then you do need to renegotiate new terms for going forward. You clearly want some space or a bit more freedom. 

Is your boyfriend clingy, refusing to let you go anywhere alone? Is he too concerned with organising you whilst letting his own life slide? 

Only you can decide if you want to continue and what would make that a possibility for you. 

It’s time for some frank talking.

Q: He lied about his age. Should I leave him or give him another chance? I am 22 years old (female). He told me he was 33 years old. 

We have known each other for 3 months and entered into a relationship after a month. In these past couple of months, I asked him several times if he is 33 and he always said yes. Just recently, I found out from his college's online records that he is actually 38 years old. In our next meeting, I asked him if he has ever lied to me. He said no. I told him I had run a check online and showed him a printed version of his year of graduation. He tried to say that it could be that someone else had the same name as him. I then told him that I had to enter the first name, last name, and exact date of birth in order to retrieve the data. It was at this point that he was silent before asking me if an age gap of 16 instead of 11 years mattered. His defence for why he denied lying for several times? He said he was too shocked and embarrassed to admit at that instant. He then apologized for lying. Is this understandable? My trust in him has been shaken.

A: The problem here is not the age difference, it’s the repeated lying and I can quite understand why your trust in him has been shaken. 

Unfortunately in your shoes I would be wondering what else he was lying about. His reaction was pretty immature for a 38 year old. 

I do wonder though what led you to check up on him so thoroughly. You must have had a sixth sense that something wasn’t quite right. 

It sounds as if he has a major hang up about his age and needs a younger partner to shore up his rather shaky self-worth. 

For that reason alone, I’d be thinking twice - and listening to the sixth sense that led you to check up on him in the first place.

Q: My ex girlfriend invited me to her birthday after being split up for 8 months, should I go?

A: It depends on how the relationship ended. 

If it was an amicable split and you remained friends then I can’t see the harm in going. But it sounds as if she is keen to rekindle the relationship and you need to decide whether this is something you want to do - if you go you will be signalling that you are still interested in her to some extent.

Birthdays are usually loaded with emotional significance so I suspect that she wants you back. 

Or, if she has a new boyfriend she may just want to show him off in front of you to make it clear she has moved on. There may be an element of revenge there. 

You don’t say if you have a new girlfriend and whether the invite is to you alone but either way, you need to be clear what you want before you hurt her feelings and if you are happy to remain split up, the kindest thing to do will be to send her a card and wish her well for the future.

Q: I am 35 and I like a 22 year old girl. I am married but I like her very much. We talk a lot - this is how things started. What should I do?

A: Are you asking for permission to have an affair? Because it certainly sounds like it. 

At 35, you should have the maturity to recognise that being married does not mean you won’t find other girls attractive - but it is rarely worth jeopardising a happy marriage for a quick fling with a younger woman just for a boost to your ego. 

Before you do something you may regret for years to come, why don’t you talk to your wife and see if you can put the spark back in your marriage? 

That’s where your focus should be.

Q: What is the best way for a mistress to end an affair?

A: It’s quite simple in theory. Just tell him it’s over. 

The problem is that very often a mistress will want to end the relationship to force the man to choose between her and the wife. 

Having been in your shoes, I can tell you that issuing ultimatums does not work. 

I hope you have not fallen for the oldest line in the book - he loves her but he is not in love with her and of course they are not sleeping together. 

The sad truth is they most likely are and when a mistress realises this - and that the chances of him leaving are remote, she tries to end the relationship to force a resolution. 

I hope you would not be tempted to phone up his wife to land him in it - especially if children are involved. You can be sure that if you do that, he will side with her and claim you ‘meant nothing’ to him and probably beg forgiveness. 

Some women think there is a kind of status or cachet about being a mistress - but there really isn’t. 

Who wants to constantly be second fiddle or alone during holidays and Christmas? 

If you really have had enough and want him out of your life, just say thanks for the fun times but you’re looking for a meaningful relationship with someone who wants to be with you full time. 

And move on.

How would you have responded to these questions? I'd love to know. You can find more advice on my problem page.

All materials included in this post are intended for informational purposes only. This post/information is not intended to and should not be used to replace medical or psychiatric advice offered by physicians or other health care providers. The author will not be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages arising therefrom.

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Turbo Trax-Pro - Toy Car Fun From Idealworld.TV

Christmas is on the horizon and pencils are being sharpened to write those letters to Santa.  It's always tricky to come up with something that will hold a child's imagination for more than two seconds and I'm always on the look-out for gifts and stocking fillers that will be played with for at least a few weeks!

We recently tried a great little car set - the Turbo Trax-Pro and the Turbo Trax Bridge and Track set to add some extra excitement to the route.  The tracks also glow in the dark for a rather spooky effect.

The Turbo Trax-Pro Set - £29.99

In the main kit you get

*160 x Glow in the Dark Track
*1 x Car
*4 x Spare Car Tyres
*4 x Clip on Trees
*2 x Beams
*4 x Tiers

The track just clips together and you can create ramps with the beams supplied.  Everything just slots into place.  You will need to supply batteries for the car (2 AA batteries) but it whizzes round and is very brightly lit.  It is simply operated by a push button on the top that even the littlest fingers can use.

The way you assemble your track is up to you and there are a number of suggested variations on the box.

The Turbo Trax Bridge And Track Set - £9.99

The Turbo Track Bridge and Track contains a clip together bridge and some extra sections of track.

Caitin and Ieuan have had a lot of fun with this, although arguably it is designed for slightly younger children. The recommended age for the product is 6 years. What hooked their interest was the ability to change the design of the track - if your kids like Lego this is likely to be popular with them too.

And we can confirm that the track does indeed glow in the dark when you switch the lights off and it looks quite impressive when the little car is whizzing around.

I liked that the set comes with a bag for you to quickly disassemble the track and put it all neatly away - literally in minutes.

This was a great toy which was surprisingly versatile and kept my two entertained for far longer than I expected.



And yes, it does really roll! You can find out more at Idealworld.TV.

*We were sent a Turbo Trax-Pro and a Turbo Trax Bridge & Track Set for the purposes of this review.

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